My wife hasn't been able to orgasm lately, she says she doesn't know why? I'm afarid she needs somebody else what do you think the problem is?

I think the main issue when it comes to that could be monotony. Throw in some new moves, spice things up. Get a Kama Sutra book, and learn new things together. Go to an erotic store, and choose some things together to spice things up.

Tension, stress, illness, diet, lack of exercise, the weather, and on and on... can all affect libido.

Getting in a rut certainly can take away from the sexual tension.

Try approaching her when she's most relaxed. I've said before here that with my partner, I know this is early morning or after a warm shower. Doesn't mean other times won't work, but these are the times when her body and mind are most rested and ready to be lost in the moment.

Maybe draw a hot bath for her and after give her a slow massage. Not about groping or rushing. Its about sensitizing the skin. If you haven't looked at any books on sensual touch or massage for relaxation, do it. Your local public library will likely have books you can check out. Just a few single concepts and stroke techniques from a decent massage book can make a difference. Have the room warm so she's not hiding under blankets. Maintain skin contact. Take your time.

If she's not been hitting the big "O", why not make it all about her next time? Does she respond well to oral? If so, after you massage her, pull her to the edge of the bed and focus on driving her over the top. There's a few good books on oral sex, but one I've touted recently is "she comes first"... its discussion on the cl!toral complex (its more than a "button"), especially the "legs" of the clitoral complex that run along the labia minora changed my approach. Id had decent success orally with my partner, but after just a few changes, there hasn't been one "failure" yet orally. Amazing how taking your time and taking a slightly different approach can have such a big impact. Anyway... maybe a good release would help get her back in the right frame of mind. Personally, oral on the woman to orgasm or close to it is always a great way to start sex.

Uhm... if that's not the way you want to go, still try the sensual touch and relaxation techniques... then consider what she has seemed to favor with intercourse. Girl on top? On her side. Can she take direct cl!toral stimulation while you are in her? Does she ever self stimulate during intercourse? Have you tried to do this softly with a wet finger?

So get in her head first before you try to get in her pants. If she's not in the right frame of mind, all the "right moves" might not get her there. Any stress lately with kids, job, money, health? Doesn't take much sometimes to throw in a mental block.

How old are you both, and does she work, and do you have kids?

Kp gave an excellent answer.

My answer with limited given info:

As a woman, I would say possibilities are overwork, depression, boredom, no good private life such as sports and hobbies, hopelessness... If women have children, they often lose themselves in childcare and forget about the fact that they have to make a happy life for *themselves*! Then, they blame their husbands for not "making them happy". As her husband, you can do a lot to make her life more pleasant as far as finding solutions for overwork(get a mother's helper), and depression(pay for a therapist)... and... you can encourage her to widen her interests in life and encourage her to be happy and independent. :)

As she gets a happy frame of mind back, she will unleash her positive orgasmic potential from resentment and negativity. :):):)

Best wishes in 2008,

My answer would be that maybe she is tired, depressed, stressed or simply just going through a phase. Don't let it bother you too much, just keep in mind that we women have more home, kids , maybe school responsibilities. Maybe try helping her out more with the kids or cleaning the house, cook, or take her out for dinner. I know when I am to tired or stressed something that really helps is having an extra hand around the house and someone whom is understanding,then at the end comes the reward!!

I agree with all the good advices, however it would not be a bad idea to seek medical help if all fails. A good husband should worry and thus care about his partner 's wellbeing , good luck !