View Full Version : Ideas about lingerie
witheringleaves
Apr 8, 2008, 04:53 AM
I am currently 25 and have only had one sexually active partner, who I am with now and have been for around 10 months, we started having sex about 2 months ago. At first it was good, the usual getting into it, he knew more than me as he had several previous sex partners.
Recently he has started to ask to if he could see more in stockings, I do actually have some, so I said maybe one day. He asks every now and again, but when I say to him, do you want me in them tonight, he usually says no but sometime it would be good.
Now he has started using the word lingerie, I asked him what he would like, as I'm unsure myself, and he said anything, as it really turns him on. So still I'm left a little unsure. My impression was that lingerie is bra and knickers/thong, in which I always have on anyway.
I know at 25, I may seem a little naïve here, but this is why I am trying to get help and knowledge...
What is meant by lingerie?
Is this classed as dirty sex?
He knows I am not really a fan of dirty/kinky things, as I am extremely innocent, but when he texts me saying, "I want to see you in lingerie soon" and I reply with, "ok" he will reply something like, "you obviously aren't in the mood, so ill leave you for a while"
I feel as though I can't really always give him what he wants, but then I think if it makes me uncomfortable, why should I? I can't tell if those texts are like pushing for dirty texts, or what?
I just need a little bit of help here where possible, thank you.
curlybenswife
Apr 8, 2008, 05:05 AM
You know by granting his wishes you might just get the most mind blowing sex ever, take a trip to la senza and anne summers and buy yourself something really lovely that makes you feel great and then use your imagination ;)
templelane
Apr 8, 2008, 05:25 AM
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I don't think anything he has suggested is 'dirty' at all.
If you fancy treating him surprise him one day in stocking, suspenders, bra/corset top and kitten heels.
Personally I find lingerie works best if put on before you meet your man. Corsets are nice to wear under dresses as he can feel it when he puts his hand on your lower back. Then you can basically tease him all night out as he wonders what you have on.
Lingerie can be fun! If you are worried buy some that isn't too expensive and just wear it for yourself, dance about the house look at yourself in the mirror.
It's as much about dressing up for you as for him. Like when you get a new top that is cute and sexy. Except only you know about it (and possibly him).
From your post it seems you are nervous about embracing your own sexuality. I think you should build up your confidence away from your boyfriend. Obviously you shouldn't do things you are not comfortable with. But at the same time don't limit yourself.
Have fun!
curlybenswife
Apr 8, 2008, 05:29 AM
Eaxactly Temp hense why I suggested la senza and anne summers as a starter nothing wrong in wearing nice undies for yourself my god it's a great ego boost.
The imagination is a great thing so is the art of conversation sex is about two people after all and pleasing each other not just one party.
Allheart
Apr 8, 2008, 05:31 AM
The secret about lingere... is YOU feeling great in it. If you feel great, it will show, and he will and you both will feel wonderful.
Victoria Secrets has some very nice things as well
VictoriasSecret.com: The Official Site of Victoria's Secret (http://www2.victoriassecret.com/?cm_mmc=Google-_-VS%20Brand%20II_VS%20Brand-_-exact-_-victoria%20secrets)
You can go simple, frilly. They also have shops where you can actually try it on.
Find something that feels, great, surpize him with a nice dinner, candle light, wearing it, and if you make it to desert... :).
Lingere, is something for you as well. It's one of the major benfits of being a women.
ENJOY!!
kp2171
Apr 8, 2008, 07:40 AM
Just piling on here. Good advice above.
Can't get into his head so I don't know exactly what he has in mind. But, as mentioned, I'm guessing you can find something both of you can enjoy.
One of my favs is a simple silk slip, something like
Victoria's Secret - Satin v-neck slip (http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8M-192259&page=3&cgname=OSSLPCHEZZZ&rfnbr=696)
Its soft, isn't going to be scratchy, isn't binding, doesn't require undoing hooks, clasps, or ties, and its fun to peel off her body.
If he is interested in leggings, you can tie those into something like a tasteful babydoll... some styles you might not care for, but some can be flattering when done right.
I really don't think he's trying to push you too hard into something you'll hate... but he does seem to have a few visual ideas in mind. I love watching my wife get dressed or undressed. I love watching her shower. Its not dirty, at least in my mind. Guys are just visual morons. You can play off his desires and hopefully have fun too. The running joke in my house is all I want for my birthday is a sexy set of panties/bra or lingerie... for my wife of course, but that's all I really want bought for my birthday.
My partner hates permanent tattoos... but shell get temp tattoos online and sometimes place a rose or butterfly or something like that toward her hip, just below or peeking above the pantyline. I love it. Just as you might do your nails or change your hair, it's a nice little surprise.
Same with lingerie. Some stuff you'll hate... but there's stuff out there that is tastefully made and flattering.
What about him? You can always buy him silk boxers.
Allheart
Apr 8, 2008, 07:44 AM
Kp That slip is gourgeous.
Wear that, candlight, wine if your drink wine, some munchies... and you both will truly enjoy!!
ScottGem
Apr 8, 2008, 09:21 AM
Another outlet is Fredericks of Hollywood. But I think your man wants you to surprise him. I don't think he wants you to ask if now is a good time. That kind of dampers the mood. He wants to come home from work and find you in a sheer teddy with garters ans stockings or something similar. Or for him to be in bed and you com slinking in wearing some lacy piece of froth.
Yes bras and panties are part of lingerie, but the category includes stockings, nighties, etc.
Browse the catalogs, go shopping and surprise him. I think you will be surprised at the result
curlybenswife
Apr 8, 2008, 09:27 AM
Cough I have a hunch that this op is in england ;)
Just a thought though if you don't want to spend a fourtune you could always go to you local tk maxx they do a great selection and a lot of designer stuff for less ;)
ScottGem
Apr 8, 2008, 09:47 AM
Cough i have a hunch that this op is in england ;)
Yeah, I got that when she equated knickers and thongs. On the other side of the pond, knickers are NOT considered sexy. But Fredericks does most of its business, mail order.
Choux
Apr 8, 2008, 10:11 AM
Your guy wants to be surprised!
Get yourself a black garter belt and black stockings and put them with very high heeled black pumps. A nice black bra is good with cut out nipples. You could get this outfit together today. Crotchless panties are good. Keep your outfit on while seducing him like the femme fatale you want to be. :)
Time to lose the "good girl" mindset... that is one of the killers of fantastic orgasmic sex. Passion is a positive life force... nurture it and bring out your sexuality that has been repressed over the years. :)
smoothy
Apr 8, 2008, 11:18 AM
There is nothing inherently dirty about sexy lingerie... there is something for every woman and every woman's body type. And picking the right stuff will make you look spectacular.
What is the difference between lingerie and regular undies? The regular undies are plain stuff you might buy children or expect your grandmother to wear... its cheap, utilitarian , usually coton and nothing intriguing about them at all, Lingerie can be anything from slightly titilating to va va va voom stuff you'd never wear under anything.
And as far as most of us will aree... nothing two adults do together in a committed relationship would really be considered dirty if they both enjoy it.