Hi , I'm 32 ans got maried when I was 18. I'm not complaining, I know it was in God's plan. We have great communication, we're best friends, we stand together in troubles, we are raising our three kids in the Lord- life is good. I do feel I'm not meeting his needs though. I do everything around the house, my mind stays busy. At night, the kids go to bed at nine, and that is my time to wind down. I want to watch some TV and relax. When it's time to go to bed, I want to sleep, but my husband has other plans. Instead of responding to his advances, I get upset. The whole time he is hinting,or trying to get intimate-all I keep thinking is how in the living room there was nothing, all of a sudden we're in the bedroom and I'm just suppose to flip the switch and be in the mood. It hurts my husband to think I'm not interested, it's like he has to coax me. I don't understand why I'm responding like this, because once we do, Ilike it. I know for sure I gad an orgasm once during intercoarse. During 4play, it will start to get very intense, but I can't say for sure that I did or didn't? How can I tell that I have? What can I do to come into the room at night and have the right attitude?
Thanks

Either you need to change your schedule for him a bit like start making the advances to him earlier before you get too tired or tell him to let you 'know' earlier. Keep reminding yourself that once you are into it you enjoy it. Think how you do enjoy it once you get into it.
If it still bothers you maybe you have a physical/chemical imbalance and should get checked by the dr.

I don't believe it's a chemical imbalance, because I'm not testy or moody. I just feel like there are so many hats to feel and only one me.

Try taking a multiple vitamin in the morning or at least a B complex and see if that helps you with all the 'hats' it helped me get through the day better.

What can I do to come into the room at night and have the right attitude?

I think you just take longer to warm up is all. You have said it's okay after you adjust your thinking. Maybe that's just you, but as we get older a check up, to make sure of our physical health can't hurt.

Roll up your sleeves, girl, you are going to change around you life to put sex up at the *top three priorities* instead at the bottom of the heap of "responsibilities".

Redo your bedroom from a blah room to a lush mood-lit moody room for sexual pleasure... little cost and little effort can make a real *adult* pleasure room.

Put a lock on your bedroom door... a minimal expense.

On one of your black bras, cut out a place so the nipples will stick through.

On some black undies, cut out the crotch.

Get out a piece of paper and a bic pen. YOu are going to make a list of your priorities. Then, you are going to cross off as many of the stupid things as you can. You are not anyone's servant. Plan to have take out food for dinner a couple of times a week.

HIre a girl to come over after school and watch your kids for a couple of hours... a mother's helper.

Your craving for neatness is going to be in your Ef-ing room; It is going to be the neatest, sexiest most orderly room, ready for sexual pleasure. The rest of the house, learn to let it go a little.

There you are.

When you put on a top, your nipples will rub against the fabric of your top and stimulate you, your crotch will be rubbing against your jeans.

Religion is a woman who has been indoctrinated as a child worst enemy when it comes to learning fabulous orgasmic sex. Kick god out of your bedroom... here is where you are going to flower as a femme fatale. No more pressure to be a good little girl... to think and do sex in a certain correct way...

YOur list of priorities... grow into a well rounded strong woman, being a fabulous wife and lover to your husband, taking good care of your children... this is what you want to be remembered for, not for being a fabulous cleaner of bathrooms whose children left her.


Good Luck!

Maybe if he helped around the house a bit you'd feel differently about him. I have two kids and I'm the one who does everything around the house. At the end of the day I'm exhausted, the kids are in bed and I just want 1 hour to wind down. All of a sudden hubby is nibbling on my ear and making advances and I'm thinking, geesh, just give me a little me time, I've been doing stuff for other people all day.

Talk to him about how you feel. Try and work something out. My hubby now knows that I need time to wind down from "Mommy/housewife mode" before I can switch to "wife/lover mode".

I hope this helps.

Tala, LOL!

This is from a married guy.

Don't blame yourself. We guys, I'm generalizing, are quicker to warm up, and it is natural for most women to take longer to. We, generally get ours, no matter what. Also know this, most guys want to please their woman.

If you are not in the mood, just say so. but please don't just say no. Tell him it is not his fault. If you tell him that you would be in the mood more if you were not so busy, maybe, he will help out more, or get the kids to do their part [ that's impossible, I know ] or hire some help.

If you are in the mood, after winding down from domestic responsibilities, take charge and focus on your own pleasure, be selfish. Tell him what pleases you. If something does feels good, tell him. Concentrate on the moment, not on the kids or bills or the next day.
Tease yourself by teasing him.

Also remember, that sex is a gift from God, for the love and pleasure of a man and woman. Anything consensual between you is okay.

And we have to remember even with kids in bed, you can't start things in the front room, kids wake up, are not alseep, walk in. Sex with children is often more arranted, scheduled at times.

Ya, there's nothing like making love with your spouse and hearing "Mommy why are you and Daddy wrestling?" Talk about killing the mood.