SADIE2008
Apr 2, 2008, 03:13 PM
I was dating this guy for about a month. We talked everyday and saw each other 1 to 2x a week. From the beginning we both stated we weren't sure what we were looking for and we would just go with the flow and date other people. We both agreed that even though we weren't together we were free to do whatever but neither of us we're pursuing anyone else. He also told me that him and his ex g/f are still good friends and wanted to be upfront about it. I started to feel insecure of this and started with the questions. We had several discussions over this and then it ended badly. We got into a big fight and he said he felt mistrusted and undersuspicion. After our several big fights over this, he finally felt that it wouldn't work because this would be an argument that would come up all the time. He didn't want to deal with the drama, especially because we were noy going out. I was able to talk to him again after this and found myself bringing up the subject again. At that point, he said he doesn't know what he wants and wants to do what ever he feels. He also said he needs a break from all this. I sent several more emails and never heard back from him. I feel really bad over this and not really sure how to fix it. I really adored him and I think its too late. Its only been a week since the last time we talked but I really think I screwed things up. I just don't know what to do?
COOKIE MONSTER
Apr 2, 2008, 03:48 PM
Don't do anything if he wants you he knows were you are and how to get intouch with you but I don't think he is going to be contacting you so soon you bonbarded him with emails after he said he need time plus you brought the subject up again when you know that he didn't want you to
I think its his way of letting you down gentally by telling you he doesn't know what he wants and that he wants abreak from it
I don't see your problem with him being friends with his ex I'm friends with most of mine and we don't get up to anything,mybest friend is my ex has been mybest friend for 10 years.he told you about it that's the important part he was honest enough to tell you and you freaked out about it when you wasn't even in arelationship together
Id move on if you can't trust him then not much point in waiting for him because its always going to be in the back of your mind
JBeaucaire
Apr 3, 2008, 04:49 AM
He feels mistrusted and under suspicion. You know that, right? You know why, right? It's because you're untrusting and suspicious. And you signalled that loud and clear.
This guy was remarkably apt with you, good for him. I can see why you like him.
And then you tried to get back in with him... AND BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN! OMG, how funny is that!
Yeah, he pegged you good, hon.
Whether he should be in contact with an ex or not is something his WIFE has the right to influence him on... not his fiancé, not his girlfriend and definitely not a passing girl interest. You had JUST started to get close and you started that stuff.
Next time you date a guy, keep in mind who you are. Guys don't owe you anything, even if they date you for a year exclusively, it can end at any moment if you get out of line or cross the line inappropriately.
Once you earn the g/f spot, maybe, but probably not.
Once you earn the fiancé spot, maybe, but most likely not.
Once you become the wife, sure, go for it, you two have promised "for better or worse". Just make sure the "worse" isn't all coming from you and your suspicions.