Hi-

Been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We have a wonderful sex life. Was just wondering if anyone would think that their boyfriend was cheating if they all of the sudden touched you differently? He has always touched me "down there" exactly the same for the whole 3 years. The last 2 times we have had sex, he has tried this new move.

He's away on business a lot and I always wondered if he was faithful but just figured until we committed to one another, we are not tied down to each other.

Guess was just wondering if a 'new' move would say anything?

Thanks

Honestly nobody is going to know for sure...

Yes, each new partner "taught" me something...

On the other side, after 10 years together, I learned a little move concerning oral that has cranked my partners pleasure up a bunch. Where did I learn it? A book on sex.

Likewise, if you looked at how I massaged my partner early on in the relationship, versus now... its evolved. Again, some from reading, some from just trying different things and watching her response.

Pick up a cosmo or mens health magazine in the airport and try to get through it without reading about sex tips. you cant. Magazines throw this stuff at people all the time... so it could be as simple as he read an interesting article.

So... new moves don't mean cheating. Doesn't mean he isn't, but doesn't mean he is.

If he goes away on business most hotels do have porn you can rent from them he could have saw it on that. Maybe a friend told him hey try this.

Gumdrop agrees: Maybe??

I don't know what you want to hear that's different than what I've said. You seem to be leaning toward not trusting him. I don't subscribe to many mags, but ill pick one up at a doctors office, on the road, at an airport, etc.

If he has internet access he could search for sex tips.

At this point you don't seem to think he has it in him to want to improve what you've called a good sex life... okay.

You are not going to get an answer here... only speculation and guesses that don't necessarily reflect reality. We might as well flip a coin.

Id like to think every sexual relationship I've had has improved over time. It can be that simple.

But for some reason here it isn't that simple for you.

Explain.

Three years is a long time to do the same thing over and over and still turn on your boyfriend.. and you, too, perhaps.

He easily could have heard a friend talking about some "sex trick" like young guys do... :D.. and decided to try it on you!

On the other hand, he could have another girlfriend.

I think you and he are going to have to have a nice peaceful talk.

Paranoia can be a viscious self serving beast.

Fact is he hasn't done anything to justify this. And as such remains innocent. He can pick up on your vibes and it can hurt your relationship.


Like was mentioned maybe in your absence he watched a movie. Now if you find lipstick on his underware or some woman's panties in his pocket then you have reason to worry But don't worry about such a simple thing as this.

Like the others have said he may or may not be cheating so you have to decide to either trust him or confront him about it , to me it seems you think there may be a reason to not trust him which is why you are asking.

Just remember...

It takes years to build trust , but it only takes suspicion , not fact , to ruin it.

The last 2 times we have had sex, he has tried this new move.

I confess. After a number of years together, I have been experimenting on my wife. Mostly, curiosity on what would drive her crazy.
Is this all you have is a new move?

I also agree that trust is the key issue here, not a new move. You can't possibly know everything that he is reading when he is not with you. Maybe he went to the library or a bookstore and was pre-reading a book. I do this A LOT!!

Has there ever been an instance before with him that he has shown to you that he cannot be trusted? Has anything ever happened in your life with anyone else that says that you have a hard time trusting others? What was your family life like while growing up? Did a boyfriend in your past ever cheat on you?

Again, you are only going to read what you want to hear and take from these posts what you want to take. However, from what you have posted, I don't think that he is cheating, but then again, I could be wrong. Usually if someone is cheating, there are a lot more clues.

Person experience, I would say this is absolutely not a fair sign of cheating... there were many times in my last relationship that I would try new things that I saw in porn or read about... also just trying new things on my own to try them... and sometimes she would ask "who have you been practicing with?" which I feel is a passive aggressive compliment, but I was just honest about it and said where I saw it or why I decided to try it

Like some others have pointed out, maybe there are other issues that are making you suspect he has been cheating? Lots of business trips could definitely lead to that thought, but is there something else that is pushing you that direction that you have told us?

I always say listen to you gut, but when your gut is just as confused as your are, just relax.. I say if he's cheating on you, you're going to find out sometime.. that stuff always comes back around to them

touched you in a new way?

oh yes, definitely cheating.


Just kidding. Is there something else that's bothering you?

Cheating hearts tend to self-consciously do what they're supposed to - but with a slightly cooler hand... if you know what I mean.

OP'er hasn't been here since April 4th.

Sorry I couldn't resist.

For our benefit if nothing else :-)