if you want a full detail background on my story you can read my older post from a while back.

for others: she originally ended it with me about 6 months back saying "she wants to hold off on the relationship till it matters. its not about being single its the whole relationship. that she wants to focus on school now. that she thinks we're good for each other if not perfect for each other" you can read the rest in my old post if you want.
well right now for the past few months things have been steady between me and her.
we had like one of them super serious relationships. But it was long distance. We're both young etc. different schools, she's busy with a medical major and I'm busy with my engineering major.

so she didn't talk to me for two months around x-mas because she thought I became friends with her old jerk ex. She eventually sent me a very long email saying sorry for acting like that. And avoiding me. Saying that she thinks I'm a great guy and id be a great husband one day n all that. She just doesn't know how close me and her ex are now.
I was like... c'mon now its me why would I do that. I sent a long email in response saying what really went on. Which really nothing went on between me and him. Like literally nothing just a few words between me and him. He was just trying to mess with my head about her. Then telling her me and him got close. Just basically he's just trying to mess things up . But that's not the point anymore.

since then me and her have been good. In the email explaining what really went on. Fixing all the lose ends and fixing stories her ex did to mess me and her up. I mentioned that I duno what the future holds but I really do love her. But I know no relationship will happen anytime soon. And the long distance thing will never work again. And that we're both obviously busy with school. That id like to believe if its met to be its met to be. And id like to just go with the flow. She replied like a week later. I think she seemed really surprised and like dumbstruck for what really went on. But she said that she really likes that if its met to be its met to be. That was the last time we talked about the relationship. This was a few months back.

I learned that the guy shouldn't be the one to ever bring up the serious talk? So I'm doing my best to play my cards right since. Since then I don't contact her anymore. I only respond if she contacts me first. And she will like say something to me on Facebook like "hiiii" or something every 2 weeks tops of silence. We did have a few catch up emails between each other after that serious emails back then too. All started by her which I was happy about.

as far as I know she hasn't met anyone yet. I've been on a few dates with a few girls since for me to try and move on. Because I want to be realistic. God knows when I can be in person with her again. Because of distance and school. I don't believe ill be the last guy in her life and I don't believe she'll be the last girl in my life. But regardless we were each others first love. And nothing really went wrong other the distance and time and being too young to commit like this.

its been 6 months I still think about her everyday. At times I think I got over her I just fall for her all over. Then when I try seeing other girls I'm like my god this girl is annoying. I can't focus on school my grades went down. I've been seeing a school therapist. Only been to two sessions so far. But man this is rough. Since then I felt like a piece of me is gone. I work out I try to keep busy but still.

I want to hear some feed back on this situation from you guys. If you guys think I have been handling things right since. Like how I don't contact her unless she contacts me. I didn't say anything to her on valentines day either. Her birthday is in a month I wanted to know if I should say happy birthday or not? And I wanted to know if I should mention I'm going out of the country for a month this may too or just not say anything.

I've been playing hard to get I guess. Not showing I need her etc. I'm not going to ever bring up the relationshp again. At least the guy should never right? I'm not going to become her friend either. I've been acting like this for months now. Seems arrite. Like how she does try and say stuff to me here and there. Some of her friends tel me they think we would be good later in life. My friends both guys and girls say to have faith in her and keep her in my heart for later in life but to move on and see other girls in the mean time. Which is what I'm doing. I'm not going to hold out on her. I want to date other girls. And I don't want to have all my hopes on her either. But play my cards right I guess. Because I don't want to be shot down again. So I'm pushing her away. But my insides are still crazy about her. But am I doing everything right so far? Any advice? And any advice to help get rid of that annoying empty feeling inside? Working out, keeping busy, doing stuff with other girls is just a short term thing for me to try and forget. I duno what to do its driving me crazy. I do my best to move on and I want to. But dang

Anyone?

I feel for you.. I understand the situation sucks.. but the best advice I give you is to stop contacting her all together, don't even reply anymore.. Like you said if it's meant to be it's meant to be. If you continue contact then there is no way that "annoying empty feeling" inside you will cease to exist - sure you'll meet other girls but then you'll always compare with that first love you had because she's still in the picture in some way..
You've done well so far for holding out and not putting pressure on her, but the truth of the matter is that long distance relationships are almost doomed from the start. If you lived close to each other then my advice (as I'm sure others who will post here) would be completely different..
I know it sucks but I think if you want what's good for you, you have to let this one go altogether.. She'll continually try and contact you but you should resist no matter what she tells you.. I've been there before and it took me 3 years to find my feet again because whenever it was convinient for her she would put herself back in the picture. Not necessarily suggesting that we would get back together, but generally just talking and recalling the past wouldn't allow me to pick myself up and move on.. and it was honestly 3 years WASTED. But I learned my lesson.
Stop thinking ahead - the healing process is short term, you'll feel better little by little day by day..

Imagine you get back together what it would imply.. You will rarely see her.. Your intimacy will be via telephone/webcam/online chatting.. There will be nights when she'll be out partying and you'll be buried in your books - and vice versa.. Then jealousy arises putting strain on the relationship..
What usually happens with long distance is that both people think they're comfortable where they are with each other until one of the two meets someone that can actually offer them PHYSICAL affection.. and no matter how much you two love each other / or don't - that physical affection will make them curious.. usually curious enough to try.

Im sorry - but again, I have to say that I think you should let this one go.

One other thing, look at how you two broke things off.. You're both unlucky that you were good for each other but distance came in the way of things.. It's inevitable that if you get back together then this would happen again..
You should agree that getting back together is a bad idea - right?
If so then how do you benefit by still talking to her? - Sure maybe the girl didn't do anything wrong to deserve your silence and unwillingness to reply.. But you should start thinking about yourself.. Theres absolutely no reason you should be keeping her in your life anymore if you want to start feeling better.. It can only make things worse by talking.

One other thing, look at how you two broke things off..You're both unlucky that you were good for each other but distance came in the way of things..It's inevitable that if you get back together then this would happen again..
You should agree that getting back together is a bad idea - right?
If so then how do you benefit by still talking to her? - Sure maybe the girl didn't do anything wrong to deserve your silence and unwillingness to reply..But you should start thinking about yourself..Theres absolutely no reason you should be keeping her in your life anymore if you want to start feeling better..It can only make things worse by talking.

No noo noo... we both know anything durnig college will not work again between us. If anything will ever happen again its going to happy after college. And yahh I know god knows their will be other people in between us during that time. I duno. We have a bunch of really close mutual friends. We were really close for 3 yrs you know. Close family friends too. I duno dude. We'll see

One other thing, look at how you two broke things off..You're both unlucky that you were good for each other but distance came in the way of things..It's inevitable that if you get back together then this would happen again..
You should agree that getting back together is a bad idea - right?
If so then how do you benefit by still talking to her? - Sure maybe the girl didn't do anything wrong to deserve your silence and unwillingness to reply..But you should start thinking about yourself..Theres absolutely no reason you should be keeping her in your life anymore if you want to start feeling better..It can only make things worse by talking.

No noo noo... we both know anything durnig college will not work again between us. If anything will ever happen again its going to happen after college. And yahh I know god knows their will be other people in between us during that time. I duno. We have a bunch of really close mutual friends. We were really close for 3 yrs you know. Close family friends too. I duno dude. We'll see

I am the last one to give advice, but there comes a time when you just get tired of feeling bad. NC is the hardest thing I've ever done, the hardest thing to do is NOTHING. But the benefits are sure worth it. I read a couple of weeks ago somewhere that 60 days is some kind of benchmark when it comes to NC and healing/detoxing from that person.

I am the last one to give advice, but there comes a time when you just get tired of feeling bad. NC is the hardest thing I've ever done, the hardest thing to do is NOTHING. But the benefits are sure worth it. I read a couple of weeks ago somewhere that 60 days is some kind of benchmark when it comes to NC and healing/detoxing from that person.


Your right I know. I already don't contact her unless she says something to me. And even then I'll just be it would something very small. Like "you tooo" lol.

But you nc is something I should start going for now. But dang the annoying thing is I know like 6 yrs from now or later on if me and her are both single... im sure I could just walk up to her and ask her if she wanted to give it another try. I'm sure she will say yes. Because we were pretty awesome together. That's the annoying gut feeling I hate. Life's a betttttch huh.
Also she's friends with me on Facebook and this other site. Its like I can't ever officially take her out of my life. And I'm not the type to delete friends like that. Kind of feel that's lame and immature. Her ex does that. I really just don't know. Ill do the NC. But yah..

Do yourself a real big favor, and stop being available to her, so you can heal, and see the world in a realistic way. My gosh guy 6 years from now? You have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but 6 years? Not logical. Stop all the contact, and balance your life with things you enjoy, without her.

I feel for you..I understand the situation sucks..but the best advice I give you is to stop contacting her all together, don't even reply anymore..Like you said if it's meant to be it's meant to be. If you continue contact then there is no way that "annoying empty feeling" inside you will cease to exist - sure you'll meet other girls but then you'll always compare with that first love you had because she's still in the picture in some way..
You've done well so far for holding out and not putting pressure on her, but the truth of the matter is that long distance relationships are almost doomed from the start. If you lived close to each other then my advice (as im sure others who will post here) would be completely different..
I know it sucks but I think if you want what's good for you, you have to let this one go altogether..She'll continually try and contact you but you should resist no matter what she tells you.. I've been there before and it took me 3 years to find my feet again because whenever it was convinient for her she would put herself back in the picture. Not necessarily suggesting that we would get back together, but generally just talking and recalling the past wouldn't allow me to pick myself up and move on..and it was honestly 3 years WASTED. But I learned my lesson.
Stop thinking ahead - the healing process is short term, you'll feel better little by little day by day..

Imagine you get back together what it would imply..You will rarely see her..Your intimacy will be via telephone/webcam/online chatting..There will be nights when she'll be out partying and you'll be buried in your books - and vice versa..Then jealousy arises putting strain on the relationship..
What usually happens with long distance is that both people think they're comfortable where they are with each other until one of the two meets someone that can actually offer them PHYSICAL affection..and no matter how much you two love eachother / or don't - that physical affection will make them curious..usually curious enough to try.

Im sorry - but again, I have to say that I think you should let this one go.


Whoa didn't notice this 1rst reply. But your really right. I'm going to do it.

It's all good :]
Good luck