My 14 year old doughter is pregnant and wants to keep baby. Me and my wife are 110% against this, do we have the right to force her to give this baby up for adaoption or does she being a minor have the right to keep this baby.

It is her baby and she has a right to keep her baby. As parents, as her being so young should be supportive in her decision and help her keep the baby if that is her choice. To force her to give her baby up when she does not want to will cause a fight on your hands that you do not want. This is just my own opinion.

Joe

She could try to become emaciated for starters. She might run away with the baby.

Couple suggestions:

1) Make her have an abortion
2) Talk with her. Don't order her to give up the child, convince her, but don't ORDER her. She is going to give birth, treat her with some respect. That is, treat her as an adult, not a child. Find a couple and introduce them to her. Let her get to know them, help her to change her mind up adoption. Let this couple give her some sob story about how they can't have children for whatever reason, and they would take good care of the child, etc.

The parents have no right to force her to have an abortion either.

The parents have no right to force her to have an abortion either.

True.

But if she thinks the child is defective she might. Who knows.

My advice is still to treat her as an adult, not as a child. As much as you see her as a kid, treating her as adult here will get her to be more responsive here.

Her parents are talking about FORCING HER. For adoption. For Abort. They sound very controlling and this they can not control and they need to be True Real Parents and support her and help her with her new child. She wants to keep her baby and that is her choice. If her parents start forcing her or demanding things then they will lose a daughter for sure and a grandchild.



Joe

As the other posted (defective ) regardless everything has a right to life, and it is her choice not yours, I did not realize there was more to your other post.

Shame on you.

Based on your other post in the other thread, I can now see why she wants to keep the child. Perhaps to prove that she can be a better parent than you.

You talk of wanting to cause your daughter bodily harm! Disgusting

Now you understand why I reacted the way I did.

Now you understand why I reacted the way I did.

Yes. I do.

I don't always look at who the poster is, I rather just answer the question.

And in this case, I didn't realize that the same person posted those 2 posts.

Why this poor girl has not run away from home is beyond me.

Love her, support her, after the baby is born you may change your mind, or she may change her mind.

There may be some religious groups that can help.
If she decides to adopt the child out also many religious groups will help find loving families.

Often some adopting families will allow her to stay part of the child's life.

PLEASE READ THIS POST BEFORE YOU ANSWER THIS 1 https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=20097 I'm sure you will all be sick too.

Thanks NwsFlasH

You people are telling me that this 14 year old girl can raise a baby with no income no place to live no help from the so called boyfriend who is 16 and no help from her family. It sounds like she has 2 choices to me 1 have the baby and her life and the rest of her childhood is over or 2 have an abortion and start over without all the responsabilities that come from a baby.I had a child at 20 and that was hard enough so I know about having kids. With this baby she has no chance at making a good life for herself. And how can you people say that a 14 year old can make a decision like this. Dam she is 14.

No we are telling you her parent and her other parents to step up to the plate and do your job. She is to live at your home, with you helping her.

If not she can go into foster care ( and believe me they sound move loving than you have been sounding inyour posts) where she will be raised with her baby in a foster home until she is 18.

And the rest of her childhood "is over" if she has an abortion, or gives the baby up, her time of being a child is basically changed for ever.
She is not going to be that same little girl that you want to make pretend and make believe can happen.

The only one not seeing what is suppose to happen is you for some reason.

And she can make a good life, if her family is there to support her.

I can't believe anyone can be so unloving and hateful toward their own child. Get this down, she is going to have a baby, she messed up, this doesnot ruin her life, it changes it. With the right loving and caring parents, she learns, has a baby, goes back to school and maybe college and has a life.

What is the problem is that you don't want to have to help her.
What is your problem in steping up and doing what any soon to be grandparent has done for 100s of years in cases like this.

The only one not seeing what is suppose to happen is you for some reason.

And she can make a good life, if her family is there to support her.

I can't believe anyone can be so unloving and hateful toward their own child. Get this down, she is going to have a baby, she messed up, this doesnot ruin her life, it changes it. With the right loving and caring parents, she learns, has a baby, goes back to school and maybe college and has a life.

What is the problem is that you don't want to have to help her.
What is your problem in steping up and doing what any soon to be grandparent has done for 100s of years in cases like this.

Very well put... Fr Chunk this person can not deal with the issue is what I can see, they seem not willing to step up and make alife for there grandchild ! I guess some people just really don't care or want to care.

Paynter167 You are a abusive son of a -----. You come on here going on about a 14 year old and how dare us say that she has every right to keep her baby. In the same breath your threatening to beat the ---- out of her. What kind of person are you? Your evil piece of dirt.

I pray that God deals with you in his own way. We are judging you for being an abusive, uncaring, controlling not knowing love that should be given to your daughter. No more name calling. I pray that God deals with you. That is much better. He is the ultimate judge that will be knocking at your door. You as a parent messed up and now you need to take responsibility as a parent and Grandparent. If not then I hope somebody else does in a Loving, Caring way.

I pray that God deals with you in his own way.



He is the ultimate judge that will be knocking at your door.

You know what it says in the last days?? Well this guy fits the bill BIG TIME... He will have to answer on that roll call for his actions on this earth! No one is perfect, but there is a diffrence when your sick like this dude... Please go seek some help for you and your daughter as well as your wife before you RIP your family apart.

Amen! Excellent post. He needs help. His whole family needs help.

Your daughter is pregnant because she needs love and she wants someone to love, if you can't see that you and your wife are blind! The least you can do is seek professional help for your whole family!

I have read both posts, and can only hope that Paynter167 comes back to read my suggestions to him.
But first, I'm disappointed in the replies that paynter167 has received. They seemed more like personal attacks rather than suggestions and advise on how he and his wife should go about approaching this very serious matter. Violence begets violence... While posting our replies, we should all remember that this is a help forum and not one for criticism or attacks on ones personal being. This forum consists of people from different states, countries, continents and with that there will be different cultures and different ways of life that we must all be open minded to. We as members can and should be able to give our personal opinions and suggestions without criticism and hurtful remarks.
In paynter167's defense - stress & frustration with parenting can cloud our vision and can make a desperate seek for help sound like an inconsiderate request. We have all been in heated situations where we have said we were going to do something mean and hurtful, but don't really mean it or intend to carry it out. More likely than not, he and his wife love their child and want the best for her (why else would he be here). But that's what she is - a child. How can she support herself or a child at 14 years old. She is too young to have a job. How will she pay for child care while she is in school? If she drops out of school now to care for her child, what kind of future will she be able to provide for herself and her child on an 8th or 9th grade education? He and his wife would have to assume all responsibility for their daughters baby, and who are we to judge, for what ever reason, whether they want another child or not. They have more than likely been dealing with a very rebellious young teen. After all, a 14 year old child does not get pregnant by being an innocent child. We must also remember that good parents can have children with bad attitudes and vise versa. We are not here to judge, we are here to offer our advise and hope that it helps.
So with that said...
I would suggest to paynter167 and his wife to wait for a calm evening and have a heart to heart with their daughter. Calmly (and I mean this whole heartedly), if you feel the urge to yell, you must leave the room. It is crucial for you and your wife to remain calm, level headed and sincere through out the entire time you are speaking with your daughter. This will give her the courage to let her defense down and open up to you. She will be able to listen and really hear what you are saying. She probably knows that she has disappointed you beyond belief, and believe it or not, knowing this is killing her inside. She needs to feel your love for her over the disappointment and she needs to know and feel that you as her parents unconditionally love her or she will seek unconditional love else where. We as humans are social beings and need to feel loved, needed and wanted. Sometimes showing unconditional love is challenging when your child is cursing you, rebelling against you and even shouting that they hate you. You just have to keep in mind that she really don't hate you, she is just trying to break away from childhood and find her place as she enters the next phase of her life. Still a child, but not yet a young adult is a hard phase to be in. She wants all the privileges of being a young adult, however, she is still to young and immature to fully handle the responsibilities or to deal with the consequences for her actions. Unfortunately it seem as though your family is well into "the phase of hell", and for what ever the reason, your daughters search for unconditional love began when she started having sex with boys. Because she didn't find it there, she will seek it from this baby.
The idea of adoption should be approached as an action of unconditional love reflecting on the love you have for your daughter along with the hopes and dreams that you and your wife have for her and her child's future. The unconditional love that you show your daughter will give her the strength, the courage and the ability to view adoption as an unselfish act of unconditional love for her baby. Because she loves her child so much and wants nothing but the best for her baby, the idea of letting someone who desperately wants a child that can not have one of their own raise her baby does not sound as threating or as heartless. She will be able to more easily accept the fact that the adoption family will be able to provide for all her babies needs and that it is the best decision for her baby.
Does your daughter know that she can pick the family? Does she know that she can look through portfolios and read letters from hopeful people that want a child, and that she can receive pictures and updates about her baby for as long as she wants. There are many different types of adoption processes - help her find one that she feels comfortable with.
If trust is never established and the adoption is one of force (which you have the right to do by law), your daughters feelings, her whole heart and soul will be jeopardized and her entire life will be one filled with "what ifs" and a never ending search for love in all the wrong places as she tries to fill the void.
I have seen this pattern more times than I can count.
It's not to late to mend a broken relationship between parent and child - and it's never to late to show you care.
I wish you and your family the very best.
Sincerely,
-Kae

There is plenty of help out there for this girl if she wants to keep the baby

As for you an abortion is wrong

From what I have read your daughter probable got pregnant so she could fill love from someone because she ain't gatting it from you

I understand the anger and frustration felt from everyone who has replied to this post; however, attacking this man is not going to help his daughter (the person everyone here is concerned about) and could very well make her situation worse. Offering positive advise and suggestions with hopes of helping this family would have been a better approach to such a heated situation.
Perhaps with this in mind, you may see my reasoning for my reply above.
-Kae

Please do not make her give up her baby. My mother made me when I was 15 and I have resented her for it all my life and will continue to do so. I know it will be hard but this is what she choice to do so now she must learn to be a mother at a young age. Please stand behind her. It will be hard for everyone but in the long run it will be worth it.

I think that all six people involved need some intensive therapy- her parents, his parents, the underaged female minor and the baby's father.

I don't think it is bad parenting for her parents to be upset that a 14 year old is pregnant. They probably see her as "ruining" her life and all her future plans. It's a little hard for a 14 year old to finish high school, plus work plus care for the child. (Although it may be bad parenting to threaten violence). And I don't think it is bad parenting for them to not be happy with the idea of having to basically rear another child.

Therapy is important. Why did the child get pregnant? Was it an accident or intentional? What does the baby's father plan to do? What are the other home situations? What do his parents think of all this?

Why does everyone think adoption is so bad, provided the young woman in question concurs? Am I the only one old enough to remember Homes for Unwed Mothers? Legally, can a 14 year-old provide informed consent for the adoption? Of, being a minor, can her parents sign away the birth rights and place the child for adoption?

Most teens don't just go out and have sex. Oh I know some do. But I seriously doubt that this one did. She was looking for someone to care for her to hold her when she needed to cry to laugh at the funny things in life. It sounds that this child made a conscious decision to find that someone because it obviously wasn't at home. My guess is that she decided to be with her boyfriend to fill a void that her parents neglected and her parents should feel shamed... I would take this child in in a heartbeat if I could. Pregnant or not. She needs love not someone to damn her. She needs support in her choices not someone to constantly tell her she's wrong... that's what she needed in the first place and what both of her parents lacked. If I could I would take this child in and love her as one of my own and her own parents be damned. I can only hope that the one who judges you in the end will judge you as harshly as you have just judged your daughter. If you wish to blame someone blame yourselves for being so neglectful to her and her needs. You failed as parents.

You ask as if legality were the most important thing in this matter when what really matters is how your daughter feels and how she will be affected by your decisions. A decision might be legal but it might also be unwise and cruel. Please take that into consideration.

BTW

This baby, as you call it, is your grandchild.

Sit and talk to your daughter please do not try and force the issue of adoption because in my experience she will do what she wants to its hard for parents to come to terms with but if she has made up her mind then you may not be able to change it hope all works out well for you

I think giving the child up for adoption might be best for the child under the circumstances. Give the baby and the daughter a chance at a better life. With parents such as these both need as much help as they can get. Possibly have a relative "adopt" or simply take custody of the child and when your daughter is of age and can care for the child, she can regain custody.
Do you have a relative or close family friend who can care for the child while your daughter grows up a bit?
Do not fault her for this! She is young, having sex, made a mistake. Life goes on.
She didnt murder anyone. She made love, had sex, something we ALL do.
So she is 14, I began having sex at 12. It happens, welcome to reality.
In the older days women were married at 14 and having babies!!!

Dont screw up your kids life because you are too childish to get over your own ego problems.

To get so angry you want to hit the girl is wrong but can happen. Dont hit her. you might have a mob at your door.

Let her grow up and try it yourself.

Hypatia

However, in mosst states when a minor becomes pregnant, she automatically becomes emancipated. Also, for adoption to occur in most states the father musst sign also

I wish the OP would come back and give us an update on this whole situation..

Hi, Paynter,
If I were you, I would ask a Lawyer. I am not a lawyer, nor a professional in this area.
Your question did not ask for Moral issues; it asked for advice on "rights".
So, please talk with a lawyer, and find out the legal issues (if any), in your local area.
Personally, I agree with you. A 14 yrs old girl cannot support herself and a baby, so that means living at home with you; with you taking care of both her and a baby. I do agree with you, about putting this baby up for adoption.
Check with a lawyer, to see how if you need to do anything legally.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

NO YOU CANT, I can't believe you are even thinking of doing this, yes having a baby so young if not good but surely forcing her to give her baby up will break her heart and she will never forgive you for that, one of my friends felt forced in to an abortion she did it to please her parents but there isn't a day gose by when she looks at baby's in the streets and wonders what her baby looks like or what she would have had etc. she stressed her out so much she become very ill andnow is pregnant again but everyone around can see that she is trying to get her unborn child back, my best friend had a child young to her boyfriend try forcing her into to aborting to lucky I talk her out of it and she tells me she is glad I was there to stop her from doing it. How would you feel if it was you in your daughters shoes?? The best thing to do is sit an talk to her about how you feel ask if she sure keeping the baby is for all the right reason if she still wants this baby then I would try and forget about how you feel and help her through this tough time, she will need your surport and will feel much better for it

Forgot to add I am adoppted and trying to find my real mum if I found out that this happened to my real mum then it would break my heart, not only you taking the baby away from your daughter you are taking a child away from its mother think of both of them, I am 19 and have a 7 month year old son my mum wasn't happy now she is thrilled to bits and loving bing a grandparent, if your worried that she won't be able to cope there is a lot of help out there for all of you if I knew where you lived it would help, my sister had a child young to she still finds it hard to cope I had to take care of my niece for a while but now she has all the help she can get she has her daughter back and is doing wonderfully. Pleae try and consider both side and the side of the unborn baby to

My husband was adopted under similar circumstances. He could not be happier with the adopted family he grew up with. He thinks it is the best thing the birth mom could have done for him.

Dear Paynter167,
This is a very hard and difficult time for you and your family. Your daughter is going through some very life changing things and needs all the help she can get. I would like to tell you that my husband and I adopted our son 4 years ago through open adoption. It was the best situation for us as a family. We went through many years of trying to have a child with no luck. We found the Independent Adoption Center in Indianapolis (where we lived at the time) that only handles open adoptions. This means that the birthmother (or birthparents) choses a couple that she/they meet and talk about how they would like to continue their relationship after the adoption. In our case, our birthmother (birthfather wanted no part of this process) wanted to get pictures from time to time and meet a couple times a year (usually in the summer and Xmas). We see her and her son along with Aunts, grandparents, cousins, and the birthfather's teenage daughters. It's wonderful for everyone involved. It's an additional family we didn't we wanted until it happened! The adoption agency has mantory counseling for the birthmom. I would recommend that you and your daughter contact them to explore options. It's free and they have talked and worked with so many women and families, that they might be able to help you all too! It doesn't mean that you have to go through them for adoption or adoption at all, but at least they can help open some communication. They do have a website that you can goggle...
Take care of each other,
Erin

It has been almost 6 months. The baby should be born or about to be born. Wish we had an update.

I agree I've thought of this poor kid a lot.Ihope everything turned out okay.

well i got my answer people i talked to a laywer and in nj the parent has the RIGHT to put the baby up for adoption if the child is a minor but not the right to force her to have an abortion.so if anyone wants a baby this one will surely be up for adoption

Q: Why are you asking this again when you already have your answer?

Well I can speak from both aspects.. I had a friend who had a baby at 13, her mother and the morman church put this baby up for adoption, much to my friends dismay. She went wild ran away did drugs and 2years later had her second child.. though as an adult she's great she now has two children and a wonderful husband,but often is sad. Then on the other had I had a neighbor who had a baby at 12! Her mother decided there was no other option, the 12 yr old would raise the baby. And so she alone with no help from her parents other than a free palace to live, she did it! She's great too. She's not as well off as my friend but has two kids now 13&5 and married happy but w/reguret. I on the other hand had one at 17 I was married even before I got pregnant,short of a long story he left and my parents really helped out, keep in mind I was young and wanted to be free and do what the other kids were doing.. so honestly often I would and leave my child w/my parents so in other words as hard as this is to admit now at 32 I can say that w/out my parents I never would have been able to do it. I was only a mother when it sooted me! Now I'm married w/three kids 14,4,8mo. No regurets with all that in mind id be against giving the child up for many reasons raising this baby could really be joyful, but be prepared to be more then a grandparent at times.. but go w/your heart. I don't know your child from adam and bringing a baby into the world is a big deal, and will require love,forgiveness,and understanding from all of you. If your ready to give up things and are a strong couple then id say tough love. "you made your bed now lie in it" but with only regards to the wellbeing of the baby. Or have you even thought about you as the grandparents about adoping the child? And where is the father? He has right too. Maybe his parents could help if that's an option...

I am hoping and praying that everything worked out for the teenage girl, her baby and family. I pray that she was able to keep her baby and was not forced to do anything she did not want to do. Adoption in my opinion if she did not keep the baby is the best choice. Especially is she wanted her baby to be safe from her neglectful and hateful parents.

Joe

We have to remember that this person posted in February. We do not know how far along the 14 year old was at the time, but chances are she had her baby.

We also have to look at the fact that this person has not posted since February. So, no matter how much we want to help, or what our intentions are, we may never know the outcome.

Yes, somebody made a post and pretty much put this post back on the spot light. There is no problem in wondering and hoping that everything worked out for the family. I do not see a problem for any of us to post how we feel, or how we are concerned or would love to know how everything worked out. Nothing is wrong with that. Whether we get updated or not.

Joe

I agree with you Joe, as I am curious myself. However, at this point there is no more advice we can give, we can only hope for an update.

Well I Hope All Works Out, Thoght I Must Say You Sound Very Bitter. I Hope That Your Doing The Right Thing For Your Child And Not For Yourself. I Pray Your Daughter Will Grow To Be A Happy Adult And Thrive In All She Does, And You Won't Make Her Pay For Ever. At Least She's Safe And Alive.

I am new to this site, and am really shocked by this. I am adopted and currently trying to seek my birth parents, I know I was taken away for reasons I wish not to disclose. I also had an abortion when I was 16 and that was my informed dicission, no body else's. I now have two children of my own and as a parent I couldn't conceive being forced to adopt/abort my own flesh and blood. If you wish to cause your daughter emotional pain then that is certainly the way to go about it, but if you wish to do what a good parent should, then you would support her and educate her to make the choice for herself. Parents are to bring their children up to be adults and survive in the real world, taking that away from them is exposing them to things we are trying to protect them from. I hope you can do the right thing, I am not saying that adoption orabortion is necessarily the wrong thing but it's not up to you to take it into your own hands.

my 14 year old doughter is pregnant and wants to keep baby. me and my wife are 110% against this, do we have the right to force her to give this baby up for adaoption or does she being a minor have the right to keep this baby.
Hey, I am not sure of the laws in Canada but I do believe in the U.S. the parents can make the decision for a minor. I am also trying to adopt privately so please let me know. Thanks, Amanda

I have a friend who's 14 yr. daughter is pregnant . And let me tell you the mom is really giving the pregnant. Girl a hard time . This poor girl is falling apart and all her mom can do is complain about how, now that she has a pregnant. Teen her life is ruined . That's all she complains about . And not once stopping to think about how the girl feels .
First she was going to force her to have an abortion and she found out she could'nt force her , now she wants her to give the baby away , so no one will know she was pregnant to
At all . The girl doesn't want to give the baby away , and is terrified her mother will continue with there demands about giving the baby away . The girl can't bring herself to just give her baby away , she has fallen in love with the baby and it's not even born yet. And I can't blame her one bit. The mother has even tried to make the girl think that the father has no say in what decision she makes about allowing her to keep her baby or not.
And that is so not true , the father has a say in it. Plus his family wants nothing more than to help with the baby , and her uncle and aunt will even support the girl finacially while she is in high school and even put her through college and babysit the whole time for her . And her mother want's none of that , from what she says she doesn't want the baby anywhere near her or her daughter , in her words she says " what will people say" .
My answer to her is who cares , if your daughter has enough love for her baby and people to take care of her financially , what right does the mother have to separate a mother from her child . She doesn't, what's so sad is , the girl's mom is doing all this in the name of "shame" . How ignorant is that.

Hey, I am not sure of the laws in Canada but I do believe in the U.S. the parents can make the decision for a minor. I am also trying to adopt privately so please let me know. Thanks, Amanda


In our state the pregnant. Teen has to make the choice about keeping the baby or not.
I'm talking about Texas . Down here the pregnant . Teen pretty much has to make up her own mind . Espeacially if she has others supporting her , even if they are not her parents .
The court will see that the teen can take care of her baby with the help from others .
In Texas once a teen is pregnant. She has guardianship of her baby and only she can make the choice of keeping the baby or giving it up . All she has to do is tell the judge she was forced by her parents and the adoption is voided right there on the spot .
I know this because a friend thaught she could force her teen to give up her baby and when the judge aske the teen if this was her decidion and her decision only the teen told the truth that her mom was forcing her and made the choice for her . And the judge threw out the whole adoption thing and I think her mother got fined .
Now the teen is with there baby and no one can separate them again . She is living with her grandmother , and her grandmother is the happiest woman on earth right now.
This just happened in Jan. of this year

I would not agree that you should tell and/or force your daughter to give up the baby. Your daughter is a minor and she will forever have feelings for that baby. If you "force" her or demand she give that baby up - when she wants to keep the baby - you will destroy your relationship with your daughter. You will be doing a great harm to your daughter and the baby. You need to make amends at this point - that your daughter is pregnant and will have a child, she will need your support to see her through this until she becomes an adult - your daughter will be grateful and thank you one day. As her parents, she needs you to protect and care for her - and that includes learning about safe sex and preventing pregnancy.

Illusion, I'm not the 14 yr old 's mother , my good friend is .
And I agree with your answer 100% , my friend is having the hardest time coming
To terms with this pregnancy . She feels she has been shamed forever because her daughter got pregnant. And she is only 14 . I'm not quit sure this is about the pregnant. Teen anymore , this has become all about the mother embaraced by her pregnant. Teen .
I feel so sorry for the girl because her mom is very angry with her for humilating her by getting pregnant. Being 14 , and for not waiting until she got married .
This 2007 for crying outloud , people stopped the gossip about who's teen got pregnant. A long time ago .

She could try to become emaciated for starters. She might run away with the baby.

Couple suggestions:

1) Make her have an abortion
2) Talk with her. Don’t order her to give up the child, convince her, but don’t ORDER her. She is going to give birth, treat her with some respect. That is, treat her as an adult, not a child. Find a couple and introduce them to her. Let her get to know them, help her to change her mind up adoption. Let this couple give her some sob story about how they can’t have children for whatever reason, and they would take good care of the child, etc.


I think you mean Emancipated. Emaciated would mean she would become very thin.

Almost 30 years ago, when I was 17, my mother forced me to give my dauther up for adoption. I never even got to hold her. I have never been the same!! There has always been a big "hole" in my heart that I have never been able to fill. I have two other children, but I have this empty place in my heart. I obeyed my parents and signed those papers and then closed myself off from them. My father died almost 15 years ago and my mother just a few years ago. Our relationship was never the same. She tried to get close to me, but I just couldn't be close to a person who would make a decision like that for me. A few years after I gave my daughter up for adoption, my brother of 17 years was killed in a car accident. My family was devastated and I believe that is when my mother began to realize the pain that she, by her actions, caused me. To lose a child is the most unbearable pain that I believe you can experience. A few years before she died, my mother tried to ask me about this. She started to ask if I ever thought about her, I became so angry and told her not to ever speak to me about that ever again. It was too late and she couldn't make it better or bring my daughter back... it was pretty much too little too late. I love my mother, but I don't think I will ever find forgiveness for what happened. All I wish is that she could have loved me and my daughter even if it would have been embarrassing or uncomfortable for her.

Every situation is different, but I think the mother of the 14 year old should take some time and put herself in her daughters situation. By putting that baby up for adoption, isn't going to make her disappear in her daughters heart.

Jan

If you can afford to, YOU should adopt her unborn child, the child is your blood after all

If you can afford to, YOU should adopt her unborn child, the child is your blood after all

Well put, Christopher!! Oh how I wish my parents would have done that for me.

My girlfriend fell pregnant in 1999 and we were both very young. My girlfriend was petrified and didn't know what to do. I told her immediately that whatever her decision might be, abortion was out of the question. After a long debate, WE decided to have the baby. I was going to study photography, but had to put it on hold and look for another job. We got engaged and began our journey toward parenthood. My daughter is now 7 and I also have 2 sons - one is 3 and the youngest is 8 months old. My life only began when I became a father and prosperity followed - I believe because we made the right decision. Don't be too hasty to convince your child to either abort or give her child away, no one can tell you what the outcome will be, but I can tell you this: I wouldn't trade my children for anything

From personal experience if you tell her to put the baby up for adoption and its not her choice she can come to resent you and she might leave. You might lose her and I don't think that's what you want . Talk to her about what she is giving up if she keeps it let her have a few choices. If she feels she was forced she will have guilt and remorse and she can go into depression.
If she's able to make the choice to have sex, then she can make the choice to keep or not keep the baby.

The "child" in this situation probably gave birth a year and a half ago.

Please pay attention to the dates of the original post before you add your post to it. The person asking the question hasn't been back since February of 2006 to read you answers.

my 14 year old doughter is pregnant and wants to keep baby. me and my wife are 110% against this, do we have the right to force her to give this baby up for adaoption or does she being a minor have the right to keep this baby.
Your wife cannot control that! It was your daughters choice not hers, your daughter gets too choose anyway, as long as you allow it. Your wife has no right to do that. Tell your wife your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, and she's smart so she will make the right one.

Thanks

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Please check OP dates BEFORE posting !