I'm Nikki, that's my nickname, I'm 18 years old, I'm a poet, I'm unemployed and broke. My mother abandoned my family 18 months ago, my father has had three heart attacks, the last one was last year, I have two younger sisters aged 16 and 15, one of them fractured her skull and nearly died last year, the other started slicing her wrists after our mother left us and said she didn't want anything more to do with us - she's happy with her new boyfriend. I got dumped on Easter, our mother left just before Christmas, she stole $1600 out of my fathers bank account and ruined both my 18th birthday and party and my sister's 16th birthday and party. My mother stole our dog, the police say there's nothing they can do about it, my godmother died last year and I was backstabbed by my best friend of 5 years! So if you think your life is bad you really have no clue!

Welcome Nikki! Sux to be you huh? :( You've come to the right place for venting. ;)

Welcome Nikki!

Greetings and WELCOME to the site, Nikki! We are glad that you are here! And, we do care about you here!

I just moved your post out of Introductions and into a more appropriate topic area so that it would get noticed more by those who might be best at responding to your post. It will get more noticed in this section rather than in Introductions.

If you would like to talk poetry, how you feel and how you express what you are feeling, then I know just the right people on this site who would like to share with you about that, and who would care with you about that!

Just please let me know if you would like for me to introduce you to them. It's easy!

Thanks!

[F]I'm Nikki, that's my nickname, I'm 18 years old, I'm a poet, I'm unemployed and broke. My mother abandoned my family 18 months ago, my father has had three heart attacks, the last one was last year, I have two younger sisters aged 16 and 15, one of them fractured her skull and nearly died last year, the other started slicing her wrists after our mother left us and said she didn't want anything more to do with us - she's happy with her new boyfriend. I got dumped on Easter, our mother left just before Christmas, she stole $1600 out of my fathers bank account and ruined both my 18th birthday and party and my sister's 16th birthday and party. My mother stole our dog, the police say there's nothing they can do about it, my godmother died last year and I was backstabbed by my best friend of 5 years! So if you think your life is bad you really have no clue!

Hi Nikki. I am so sorry you have been dealt such a bad deal as has the rest of your family. I hope you are able to express the emotions you are feeling through your poetry. It is a great release as is sharing, as you are doing here on this site. Because of your pain, you may be able to write poems that minister to other's down the road who are feeling some of the same things you are and you never know when a book of your poems, coming from such a difficult time in your life, may turn out to be a real blessing. Keep a journal... never throw a poem away that you write. They are part of you.

In the foremost of your mind, keep always the thought that "Every End is a New Beginning". Sounds like a cliché I know but it isn't. Although your mother has left, you, your father and sister's can make a conscious decision to bind together to be there for each other. Each of you are carrying your own kind of emotional pain... sharing that with each other will help. Each of you are dealing with some fears also. Even though you are siblings, each of you have unique personalities with specific needs and each will feel the effects of what you are going through differently. Don't be afraid to share with extended family members and friends, the needs that you or your family are having. People who love you will want to help in any way they can but too many times, people can't know what our needs are unless we share them verbally with them.

There will be other's on this site that will be of much help and encouragement to you and your family. Please keep us posted on how things are going and post some of your poems if you feel comfortable to share. Best to you and your family.

Nikki, I empathize with you. I will not go into my horrid childhood but it's up there on the list of uglies with yours. I'm truly sorry that you have had to endure such pain.

You are a strong soul and that is obvious to anyone that reads your post. We here care about you. Your struggles will make you a stronger and more independent adult. You'll be thankful of this one day, I promise.

And you'll be able to teach what you've learned to your children, and know what not to do. You and your siblings are not alone, you have each other and that's the most precious gift.

You also have us. We wish you the best.

I know what you mean. They say that as bad as your life is there is somebody that has it worse which is true but when you are in the top percentage of bad luck the somebody else has it worse is not at all comforting. I have been through more than you could ever imagine but for your young age that is more than you should have to go through.
I hope things get better for you.
As bad as my life has been I know it has made me stronger and able to handle more than many people could ever imagine. Sometimes you have to look for the silver lining even though it is rough.

Nikki, I'm not very good at this stuff, but, here's the way I see it.
Stuff seems to be going very bad for you now, right? Well, that's how life can be sometimes, because people are imperfect, they hurt each other and themselves (those two acts shouldn't actually be separated actually... they are inseperable)
But, as all overpowering and terrible as these things can become to a person, as emotionally and/or physically crippling the physical and mental injuries of life can be, those things are not the point of life. The point of life is something beautiful and wonderful, to do with the people who love you (and no one, no one, is ever unloved, just some just haven't realised that love yet, or have had it drift from them, or have forgotten it) and the beautiful things in the world, and the beautiful and wonderful and vitally important things you can contribute to the people and the world around you. Too many of us are dominated by such amazingly black and white views of the worlds. To us poor and frail beings called people, too often is life "crap" "great" or "average", when truly, life is way too complex for that to be true. It is vital to focus on what matters, not to let your perceptions to be dominated by anything in life, except love and kindness and beauty. It is strange, for people easily see the beauty in things despite their blemishes, except the important, bigger picture things, such as the beauty in life and in themselves and each other, instead they notice the blemishes, the imperfections, the things that go wrong. It baffles me, that in the simpler things, blemishes are seen to be a small thing, e.g. a nice house is still a nice house, even if we let a room get a bit messy, yet if things get messy in life, all of a sudden its no longer a good life but a terrible life altogether. This may be because with the house, we can see the whole house, the whole picture, yet with life, we can only very rarely, if we are lucky and wise, see the whole, big picture. We fail to see that the bad stuff is only temporary, and that a lot of the goodness is with us till the end, such as our wonderful traits, our personalities, our true friends (true friends are with us till either our end, or their end, but even then, they live on in their own special way until we are also gone). So we all need to just look past setbacks, the rough patches in the highway of life, the troubles and stuff, and see the good, because if we don't focus on the good, then we are wasting precious time and our precious talents and the precious good things about us. You can always find good in life, joy in life, love in life, sometimes you must struggle for it and work for it and make your own luck, and sometimes it seek you out. You only lose or fail in life when you give in to despair or give up, victory is not all about the end product of your efforts, victory is your continuing efforts despite adversity! Every moment you keep trying, you are winning! In lifes great race, there is no clear finish line, so the winners are the ones who are continuing to run the race without giving up, not the ones who are doing the best at it, but just anyone who doesn't give in to defeat.
I hope this helped in some way, and just remember... you are not unloved, because I love you, as a fellow tortured soul, and a fellow person who I believe is wonderful and gifted, as all people are.

Nikki, im not very good at this stuff, but, heres the way i see it.
Too many of us are dominated by such amazingly black and white views of the worlds. To us poor and frail beings called people, too often is life "crap" "great" or "average", when truly, life is way too complex for that to be true. It is vital to focus on what matters, not to let your perceptions to be dominated by anything in life, except love and kindness and beauty. It is strange, for people easily see the beauty in things despite their blemishes, except the important, bigger picture things, such as the beauty in life and in themselves and each other, instead they notice the blemishes, the imperfections, the things that go wrong. It baffles me, that in the simpler things, blemishes are seen to be a small thing, eg, a nice house is still a nice house, even if we let a room get a bit messy, yet if things get messy in life, all of a sudden its no longer a good life but a terrible life altogether. This may be because with the house, we can see the whole house, the whole picture, yet with life, we can only very rarely, if we are lucky and wise, see the whole, big picture. We fail to see that the bad stuff is only temporary, and that alot of the goodness is with us till the end, such as our wonderful traits, our personalities, our true friends (true friends are with us till either our end, or their end, but even then, they live on in their own special way until we are also gone). So we all need to just look past setbacks, the rough patches in the highway of life, the troubles and stuff, and see the good, because if we dont focus on the good, then we are wasting precious time and our precious talents and the precious good things about us.

Cal, I was going to comment rather than post here but it said I had to share the love with others first. So much insight from a special person... your comparison of a beautiful house with a messy room and a beautiful life with some messy situations going on... was amazing. I am going to apply that to my life's view also. Such a beautiful picture of having perspective in all things. Sometimes we know these things somewhere in the back of our minds but seeing and reading them in print, just cements it in our minds. Thank you.

Welcome to the site nikki, this really is a nice community to be in. Everyone here has helped me with so much! You said you are a poet? Write as much as you can it helps more then anything so I've found. As for your boyfriend, girl go out when you can and see if you can't meet a new guy. I saw in your other thread you can't go out much cause you can't afford it, but hey going to the library or park costs nothing. Hopefully you will find that man who will cherish you and help take care of you and your family. I also saw in your other thread that you can't find a job that gives you enough hours. I know it's bit of a bad place to start but try working at Wendy's that's where I work and you get paid bi-weekly. I don't know where a wendy's near you would start at but mine starts at 6.25 and my boyfriend gets 40 hours and gets over 300 dollar paychecks.

Look cheer up the best you can things will even out for you, you seem like a nice person and so good luck will follow your bad. I wish you a blessed day and life and that your worries may go away. Meanwhile any problem you have post around here, like I said they're a nice bunch and can help lift spirits no matter how low they are. Blessed be.