View Full Version : Losing it with jealousy
nightstars310
Mar 29, 2008, 12:12 AM
I am 26 years old, When I got married I didn't feel jealousy at all, I was just the opposite.
After having my third child I started feeling really jealous even though I don't have any reason. MY husband loves me like there's no tomorrow,He will die for me he thinks I'm the sexiest most attractive girl alive. All his friends tell me that they never met anyone that loved a woman the way my husband loves me. I am very attractive and very sexy. My body did not change at all with the pregnancies no stomach, no stretch marks nothing just very slim. But I can't help but get jealous. And I spend hours in bed thinking about everything I said or analyzing what my husband said and try to twist it in so many ways to make a negative. It is driving me crazy. If my husband says that there's a woman who had a car accident and was badly hurt all I think about is what to ask to find out if she was attractive. I was never like that and I really want to know what happened to me is it something that have to do with hormones. Would it be corrected if I do hormone therapy and its not postpartum depression because my third and last child is 3 and a half years old now. My breasts did get smaller after the third child, though they are still very perky and nice. Please any information would help. I tried to put all my symptoms. All these changes happened after having my last child.
Thank you so much
Allheart
Mar 29, 2008, 12:39 AM
Hi Night,
I am so sorry you are having these feelings. To me, I can almost feel all of your anxiety.
You want to be sure and check medical reasons. I have never had children, but I have heard that sometimes when women do, they should get their hormones levels checked by their gyn.
Make an appointment with your gyn and ask if she can order a blood work up level to check your hormones.
With 3 children anxiety may just be making a visit to you. I suffer with anxiety as well and the more you focus the more it can just keep swirling around.
You are okay, and you are not alone.
I am more than happy that you have a loving husband and I bet you are just as loving to him.
This seems to be all new to you and sometimes, out of nowhere, this happens or just builds up to where it appears to be getting out of control.
So make the appt. with your gyn and just check that medical reasons are not the cause for all of this.
I feel for you as I know you don't want to experience these feelings. Try and not be so hard on yourself, you are suffering enough.
I will be thinking of you and sending many good thoughts.
My best,
Allheart.
trujew
Mar 31, 2008, 12:47 PM
Hormones definitely play a factor. Not to mention, our body does change every 7 years so maybe your body is just going through a bit of change. It probably has more to do with the fact that you just don't see yourself as very sexy and attractive as you have known yourself to be in your earlier twenties. It's kind of funny what stuff we make up in our heads about ourselves. Sometimes being a mom and running around doing all the mom things we need to do, keeps us from feeling young and energetic. Perhaps all you need to do is treat yourself (when possible) to some time for you. Away from the kids (if possible). Even if it's once a month or so and go and hang with friends or something to feel less obligated (if only for a few hours). Women who have kids often question their looks, etc. after having kids. You are actually one of the fortunate ones who does not have stretch marks and has managed to go right back to looking the way you did before the pregnancies. Be thankful for that. And if your husband and his friends say you are good looking... then listen to that! You have to check in with yourself when you are twisting words around. You make up all this stuff in your head. You are putting the negativity in your mind... no one else. If it's that bad, go for counseling. If you don't, you are going to just frustrate the heck out of your husband and he's going to distance himself possibly. Be thankful for the way you look and be thankful for the children you produced. Feelings of inadequacy hits all of us at one point in time or another. This is very normal. A mothers job is never easy. If you feel tired... try going out for a new outfit or two, or get a new hair style. Or even get your nails done. And tell yourself, you are beautiful and grateful for the life you have and for the lives of your children. Also, tell your husband how much you really love him. Make sure he gets it. That will help secure up things. Even a nice quiet evening with him to bond can boost yourself esteem. Be good to yourself... trust me.
nightstars310
Mar 31, 2008, 05:54 PM
Thank you so much trujew, I never let my husband know how I feel he has no clue, he even thinks I'm just the opposite, he admires me more than you know. I tell him how much I love him 100 times a day, and he tells me how lucky he is all the time even though we have three kids and are married for 8 years we are still making love every single day he can't keep his hands off me and he never looks at other women and he never looks at woman in magazines or anything cause he says they don't turn him on at all, he says he got satisfied with me, when he's watching t.v. he changes channels or forwards the show every time there's a sex scene or a nudity scene because he doesn't like to watch it, he has no interest in porn at all. Our kids are great they are in school till 3:30 p.m. and my husband come home at 4:00 p.m. and I don't work so I have all day for myself. I am always pampering myself, I'm always dressed up nicely I'm 5'4" and weigh 103. So you see I have no reason to feel the way I do that's why I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Im thinking of seeing a doctor but I was hoping to get ideas first to try and resolve it on my own. Im open to any ideas.