Hi everyone, I met this guy a couple months ago and we started dating about a month now. We having a very spicy chemistry between us... but, he is asking me to marry him and saying that he loves me so much he can't even believe it... I think I feel tha same way cause for once I want to marry someone also...

Is it infatuation? Or is it lust? Or could this be love? What do you suggest I do about this feelings we are having? :confused: please help me with this one guys :confused:

If you you are questioning that you love him, then it probably isn't love. It's hard to tell because I don't know what's going inside your head, only you can know for sure. But from experience if you are questioning it then maybe it's infatuation. He's already asking you to marry him huh? That seems really soon. I suggest that you guys take it a little slower, you guys are still just getting to know each other..

I've learned from past relationships that love is tricky, I've learned the true meaning of love when times get hard and if you stick by that person.. that's when I can know that the love is real.

Invest some time in getting to know each other a little better.

You don't know how he will be 2 months down the road or 3 or even a year.

I guess I am questioning a bit about how much... but I feel real strong towards him. I go tru the motions as if I love him... like thinking of him every minute... we talk on the phone every half hour... n stay talking for hours. We see each other almost every day since we are dating.

I feel as though I know him so much... sort of comfortable being around him. Do u think he really wants to marry me or is he saying that to make me think he love me a lot?

Why is there such a rush? Does he want to go to vegas and get married now? When my boyfriend and I got together we fell in love pretty early too, and he told me stuff like he could see himself marrying me.. but I didn't worry about it, because I knew no action was to take place until we date longer. Now we've been together for almost a year and we pretty much know we're going to get married, but we're waiting for the right time

Like I said earlier, true love shows when times get rough.. you're still in your hunnymoon phase, and that lasts usually up to 6 months or so.. when that phase is over examine the relationship and see if the love is still there.

Just stop putting so much though into it, that's not how love is soposed to be.. and enjoy these next couple of "hunnymoon phase" months, they're a lot of fun and soposed to be anxiety and stree free (relationship wise).

If you really love someone,you won't question your feeling for him! It is normal to question should marry so soon or not,but I don't think it is normal to question your love for your man,unless actually you don't love him!

You may love him, but for someone to ask you to marry them after only being with that person for a month is, in my opinion, way too soon. It is probably more like infatuation. The fact that you have to talk to each other every half hour is not healthy. You need to have your own life a part from being with him and he needs to have his own life a part from you. You have to be able to have faith that the other person will have your best interests at heart at all times. By the way, how old are you? The fact that you are questioning it means that you know that you are not ready, not so much that you don't have true feelings for him. Remember, nothing in life that is worth it happens overnight (and nothing is free either!! ) Try and take it slower and enjoy the time in getting to know each other better. There will be times when you are dating that you want to rush things. I am currently going through that myself with my current relationship, but I know that I have to have faith that if it is meant to be, it will be for the long run. Hope this helps.

Early in a relationship you experience a lot of passionate feelings and tendencies. Usually, this "heat' just can't last. that's why you date someone long enough for the heat to subside and hopefully be replaced by familiarity and reality.

This lets you discover who he is and how he acts to you when "normalness" has set in. This is the time when you discover who he really is and how he most likely will really be with you.

If you marry him while the "heat is on", when everything cools to normalcy later, it would be AWFUL to discover then that without the heat, he's impossible to get along with... or you are.

How long does it take for normalcy to set in? Usually at least a year. If you two really do love each other, love each other enough to take the time to make sure you won't make each other miserable when "normal" sets in. Wait for "normal", then decide. That's a loving plan.

That makes a lot of sense. I think we are both in a stage where we are overwhelmed wit passion and it makes you feel like you want more. I sometimes feel as though I could go inside him. I think I need to slow down a bit...

Is like I never saw a guy so emotional... always expressing how he feels... We even kissed till he start crying and his pores was raising. I would take your advise and let that stage pass to see wats really behind it...
By the way I am 26. I have been in love before... but its a bit different I guess.:confused:

Yes, it is different this time, and if there is a next time it will be different again. That's why is it so painful to a current relationship when you compare one guy to another. It's always just different.

And you want to know the hardest truth of all? It may be that the guy you fall HARDEST for, feel the most for and love the deepest is also the guy who is the worst husband of all. The best "life mate" may turn out to be a guy your feelings are only a fraction of that for the bad guy.

But that's where life takes over. Being with an excellent match that you have SOME feelings for puts you in a position to survive the years together and end up with a bond that's unshakeable by anything the universe throws at you... including strong feelings for other men.

Sobering stuff.

There are always opposites to every reaction that one feels. What is the opposite of love? Hate. When I first met my ex-husband, I felt very much the same way that you are now feeling. We fell in love very fast. I don't want to scare you because sometimes relationships where two individuals fall in love quickly really DO work out and last for many, many years, but sometimes they does not. My ex was the one that uttered "I love you" first, he showered me with gifts, cards, love letters, etc. and gave me his undivided attention, etc. However, I am a true believer that if an individual can love "hard", they can also hate "hard". Ever heard of a "Love/Hate relationship"? Love is blind, I guess, as I continued to turn a blind eye to things that I should have paid better attention to and to not try to convince myself that "things will change once we get married". The earlier part of any relationship is the easy part. It is the fun part. That is why you are feeling the way that you are feeling; we have all been there and done that. Take this time to learn about him and be very observant. Take things slow. If it is really love, it will be there forever, so what is the rush? When my ex and I were dating, he "pre-closed" me (sorry for the terminology, I have been in sales for a lot of years) by asking me after 6 months of dating that if he were to ask me at this moment to marry him would I? I said that I would. So, he knew right then and there that he was "safe". I also felt the same, but I did not realize that this was a form of control, to make sure that he would not be rejected and that he knew what was coming up. He also asked me early on in the relationship to move in with him. Again, if this was true love, then what is the rush?

I know that your relationship may not be the same as my relationship was, but I still advise to take things slow.

All in all, I wish you the best. Follow your head and not necessarily your heart.

After you are dating for another 6 to 8 months, you will know a lot more, wait is not a bad answer

Mom... it sounds so familiar, because he keep asking me if I would marry him if he ask me tomorrow... n he said it would be sooner than later. And he keep fishing for my response. I told him we feel strong for each other and I think we should just enjoy it for now until we are ready... I told him that its too soon to make those serious decisions and it would happen in time..

He said he know that its too soon.. but he can't help feeling overwhelmed and wanting to spend his life with me. He has had serious relationships before but nothing like this.

He was in a relationship for 11 yrs and was given an alternative to marry his ex... n he didn't do it. He said he never felt that was what he wanted until now.

But I am taking my time. There is still a lot to learn about him

Enjoy your time together and don't rush it. You will eventually know for sure and in the meantime you will have gotten to know each other even better.

Its all up to you on whether you know you love him. My parents were engaged and had only known each other for a week. They have now been married 26 years and still going strong. They didn't get married for another 4 months though. All I can say is if you are not sure about marrying just tell him that you love him but just not ready for the whole marriage thing. Warning... don't say anything about commitment or needing more time... that is a bomb in the making!

If it still feels good in 2 years get married. Before then, Naw! What kind of guy wants to be married after a month?

Sounds like this guy might be running from something. Why is he feeling overwhelmed?

Hmmmm. Mom I never taut of it like that... U think he is running from something?

Hello guys , an update on us. Since then he have moved to another apartment. We have been spending a lot of time together, things are going fairly well so far. The hipe feel has died down between us a bit, but we still enjoy every min together. Am enjoying the moment. Thanks for all your comments

It has been a while since I have been on this site; end of school, summer beginning, life... Anyway, Good to hear that things are still going well. Yes, the hype always decreases at least a little bit. Like I said before, the beginning of any relationship is always the fun part. Don't get me wrong, relationships can still be fun even after many years together. However, I am a true believer that you have to go through the seasons with someone before you REALLY know him. Then again, I dated my ex husband for 3 years and it still ended in divorce. However, I feel that this was because I refused to acknowledge obvious signs because even at 23, I did not want to be alone and thought that I would not be able to find someone else that would want to marry me. What am I trying to tell you? It may be better to be alone than to be with someone who has dependency issues. Be vigilant about noticing controlling personality signs of your boyfriend. If or when you see these signs, it is up to you what you will decide to do. Just take things slow and don't fall into the pressure trap. If he is pressuring you about anything, that is not a good sign.

Hi mom... What would you call this situation... I observed that he likes me around him all the time rite, and sometimes I go out with my girl friends to hang out a bit... Anytime he hears I have to go... he gets all sad... he would look like a puppy in a corner... but he won't tell me not to go or anything...

But he talks different as though I leaving him in a dark hole all alone... is that being possessive? One time he called me, and he was sounding as though he would cry... lol... u know him for his crying issues... lol.. is this a way to be possessive?

Then one time he had to go out with his friend to a guys lime... and I told him to go enjoy himself. So when I said I would go hang out as well he said he wasn't feeling good... he was staying home... n told me if I wanted I could go to hang out... n he put his face sad again.

What is that about?? Before he use to hang out a lot with his friend , but now he wants me to go hang out with them as well... I feel a bit weird , because I feel like a kill joy... y should he carry me on his boys lime>? I don't carry him on my girls lime? But I don't want to disappoint him by not going with him.

But besides that... I really getting to like him a lot.

Any glitch in the program, talk about it, and never assume. When you get it from the horses mouth, you know how to deal with it.

Good communication in every relationship is the key to a good relationship. Tell him how it makes you feel when he does the things that he does. Just like you said it here. Couples do need time by themselves with their own friends. This is normal. If he has a problem with that, then there may be a problem. If anything, I think he is being more manipulative than really possessive (at least at this point). However, every possessive relationship that I know of (I was in one myself) started with manipulation. You may want to read the definition of Borderline Personality Disorder. I am not a psychologist, but I have read this definition and I know that my ex exhibited a lot of those traits, which seems similar to your situation. If you feel uncomfortable, hesitant, confused in this relationship, then you need to uncover why you are feeling this way. What are the triggers? First and foremost, talk to him about how you feel. If he becomes defensive and/or angry, no matter how much you like him, you need to make a decision about what your next step will be. Will you stay with him? Do you want to end it right there? I feel that you have a lot of doubt about this relationship, even though you express that you really like him. You may really like him, but can you spend the rest of your life filled with doubt and/or walking on egg shells?