I like to think that I'm a good wife. I don't really care if he looks at porn as long as I don't see it, and that it's that time of the month. I told him as long as he looks but not 2 tuch that is OK

Well I found a missed call on his phone on 3/11, and he told me that he didn't know who it was. Well I called the number and a WOMAN picked up. Well he still claimed to not know who it was. Well I did some looking around on the phone bill and found out that the number is an Oklahoma number. ( he grow up in TX) and that the number belonged to his EX.

See I don't care that he has been talking to his ex and her brother. Her brother and him are good friends, that's fine. And talking to her I don't care. I know that he does not really like her, and that he will never go back to her, the thing that hurt is that he lied about it

And we had a VERY big fight about the whole thing. And he told me that he wanted to call it quits, because I will not trust him.

Was I in the worng looking up the number. I just don't know what to do.

You weren't totally in the wrong. Its no big deal to look. I think where you went wrong was by asking him about it.

So, are you sure he was talking to his ex or was he talking to her brother at her house?

Nope you did nothing wrong. If he had nothing to be worried about he wouldn't have gotten angry. Of course, you see nothing is wrong with him talking on the phone, you aren't doing anything shady with others in your relationship. He lied, why would he lie? You sound like a cool chick and he should know that about you by now. All I have to say to you is be wary of liars, maybe, him breaking it off now is going to stop the pain it would cause in the future... or past if you found out.

No you are not in the wrong. Us woman have to keep an eye on our men for temptation is everywhere. And how are you going to know your man is totally faithful unless you check up on him. I would have hated that he lied too. My man has done this to. He told me it was someone else's number, then he put her number in his phone book under another name cause he knows I will find it. Needless to say I picked a dumb one which I feel I can never trust. Your man however may have just been talking to a friend and didn't want to bring it up he figures why cause trouble when I'm not doing anything wrong. So I hope you have nothing to worry about and no I do not think you are in the wrong.

That seems to be a very narrowminded answer in my opinion. I have never "checked uo" on my man. Actually, I have no idea what his voicemail password is and I have never even picked up his cell phone. Not all men deserve to be treated like cheating dogs.

Its done, and whether it was right, or wrong is secondary, to the fact you played it badly, and you both over reacted.


Well I found a missed call on his phone on 3/11,

All that drama for a call he never even got? You tell me was it worth it?

I'm going to have to go to Tal on this... It was a MISSED call.. It's not like he picked up the call, so how was he lying to you? Maybe he didn't know who it was and let it ring out. A little trust goes a long way

that seems to be a very narrowminded answer in my opinion. I have never "checked uo" on my man. actually, i have no idea what his voicemail password is and i have never even picked up his cell phone. Not all men deserve to be treated like cheating dogs.
Well most woman do and no I am not narrow minded, most do "check up" on them. And No I don't think its like treating them like "cheating dogs" you seem pretty narrow minded. Thanks for your opinion. This is my opinion.

Well, your answer there seems narrowminded too. "most" women "check up" on their men. I think that's narrowminded of you to put "most" women into that category. If it's not treating them like cheating dogs then how is it treating them?

Okay then most woman but hollylovesbrandon do check up on there men. Don't get all offended. I didn't say every woman I said most apparently this doesn't apply to you. Good Day!

Darn! Now I'm PO'd, as my wife doesn't care enough, to check up on me! Even worse, she doesn't try to find out what sites I visit! Is this fair, or should I go NC!

That is not fair at all! NC until she starts tapping your cell phone, calling you every 5 minutes, calls your friends and family if you don't answer. And when you are home, you were one of those dog shock collars because god forbid you step off the lawn!

Just screwed up, and broke NC. Kids at work, and grandkids at school, she walks around naked, and wants to know if I wanted lunch? Can I start NC again? Will it count against me? Should I take out the garbage as she suggests? Will my manhood survive?? Help!!

Stay strong! No garbage duty man, keep your dignity! If you like being kept as a yo-yo doing whatever she wants then be my guest and continue being a wuss. But, on the other hand, if she made the lunch for you while naked, we can make an exception on that

I wussed in the worst way, took out the garbage, had lunch, and her, but she wouldn't even look at the cell phone. I feel so used. Should I help with the dishes, or stand my ground? Or should I leave this thread alone and stop hijacking? I am so confused, and don't know what to do? Is the wife right, should I just shut up, and be cute??

Put your cell phone right near her with a text open from another number she doesn't know saying something like "looking forward to seeing you tonight honey" She should definitely look! Then, stand your ground, no dishes!

Lol seriously a lot of them do check something weather it be a wallet, the pockets of your jeans, under your bed, a vehicle, or your cell phone. Some however can't admit to it but yes a majority of woman do it.

Man, this post went incredibly down hill with the narrowmindedness. I think I should leave.

Good bye

Wha-Wha happened?? Where did the love go? Did it leave with the trust, or is that narrowminded?

Tal... You're playing with fire my friend, but I think we angered the goddesses when we brought up NC... I don't think some people like hearing that

Love without trust, is like calling a boil a beauty mark.

Talaniman I'm with you!! My Fiancée never checks my cell phone either!! She must really hate me!! I go out she never questions who I was with. She doesn't call me fifty times when I am out to make sure I am with who I am supposed to be with. She doesn't even bother going through my pockets if she happens to my laundry cause if she did I wouldn't keep finding Receipts of mine in the washing machine. I'm telling you man we need to get some women who care enough not to TRUST US!!

Ah! She finally found a number she didn't know, she ordered a pizza, and she wants me to pay the guy when he delivers! The gall of it all. Insult to injury, she's going NC, until the kids get home! Should I go or stay?

Yes I am having a great time with this, but seriously, think about what you do, and how it looks not only to others, but the one your with. Now I'm going to snoop through her purse, and do what she is incapable of, showing the love!

Its not that I don't love him, I do. But when you are calling a number that he clams not to know more then 10 time with at work for 10 hours. Then what is a girl to think. I don't go though his things. When I wash close I empty pockets, but that is all. We only have one perpay cellphone so we both have to shair. That is how I found out. Should I have just left it alone, or looked forther...
If you are saying that I have trust problums maybe you should look at the other question that I posted. That should help you understand.

(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/brocksgirl86.html)BROCKSGIRL86 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/brocksgirl86.html) disagrees: no the thing is that he was calling her everyday and texting that number like 10 time wile he was at work. he never called or texted that number wile at home.
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/brocksgirl86.html)
I hope you can understand how this changes the whole thread, and would have been useful to know from the start, as you led us to believe there was only a missed call.

Well I'm sorry. I thought that I put that in there, but after reading what you guys said, then my question again I found out that I didn't add that last little part. Once again I'm sorry

a little info about us, we got married April2007, I'm 21 he is 23, I'm a little over 300lbs and he is like 220. He is 6'3 and I'm 5'10. We met online on eharmaney around march2006.

I see you met, and married in a year, so I can only guess, that your still getting to know each other, and the honeymoon period is over. Reality says you have not yet gotten to the point of knowing how to talk, and listen, to each other, and are still finding things out. I would advise you to slowly develop the communications, and get on the same page of knowing each other. Be patient as this is a long slow process that there are no shortcuts to. As long as you both are willing to work together, there is a good chance of resolving any issues you have. Don't assume anything, and never expect he can read your mind, and try and talk calmly, when you have questions or concerns. Good Luck.