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missffd
Mar 16, 2008, 12:37 PM
Hi everyone
I need some help please. 3 years ago, when I was in college, I met this guy. We hit it off and I was attracted to him but I knew things could never work out because we are different religions and we and both of our families are quite staunch in our religion and neither of us could convert or marry out of our religion. We became good friends, but eventually found ourselves falling in love.

Longgg story cut short, I was thinking with my heart: I wanted to be with him no matter what, but he was the strong one, thinking with his head and made it clear that even though he loved me, we could never be together and therefore should move on. However, we did have many many moments of weakness where we got together, which I didn't have the strength to stop. I couldn't get over him, I was miserable for 2 years, cried almost everyday, picked up weight, couldn't study, slept till 11 everyday, and was just in general bad condition.

Anyway, the last time we got together was last year June and since then, I told myself that I need to move on. I got a fantastic job, new hobbies, lost weight & counted my blessings every day.

Problem: I still can't stop thinking about him, nothing seems worth it without him there. I've met so many guys, but I can't seem to be attracted to anyone, whereas I never had a problem with attraction before I met him. I dream about him so often, even though I never see or speak to him. I try not to think about him, or only think about his bad traits, but he's always on my mind. A few weeks ago, I heard that he's getting married in December :(:(:(
I'm happy that he's happy, but my selfish side is saying: I can't believe I'm not going to be spending the rest of my life with him.
How do I stop missing him so much?? My time with him was the most wonderful in my life. I'm afraid I'll never feel that way about someone again. How do I stop pining?

Thanks in advance to anyone who helps me!

TrueFaith
Mar 16, 2008, 12:47 PM
First love is always hard to get over :) we have all been there. But you have to help yourself get out of it. Because you could feel bad for the rest of your life and you will miss so many good things in this world..

I would say if you can't stop thinking about him then do this. Devote like 10 to 15 minutes a day thinking about him then right after that go OK now I'm going to not think about him for the rest of the day!

And try and do that. Because if your obssesed over the idea of his love and your love then well it's a hard thing to brake.

You'll get there as we all say it just takes time

Regards

talaniman
Mar 17, 2008, 02:26 PM
I think you will have to let time, and reality, work their magic, and for your part, make sure you have an active, happy life.

missffd
May 11, 2008, 05:26 AM
Oh I tried, I tried so hard, I was doing OK, I wasn't thinking about him.

But then, I saw him recently and he kissed me and told me he loved me.
Then today, I heard that he set his wedding date for next year Jan. I phoned him and his fiancé answered. It was the most hurtful, embarrassing thing ever. He must have seen my num and told her to answer. I feel like they're laughing at me.
I can't stop seeing him, we live in the same city.
Thanks anyway for your help, I appreciate it. I will keep trying, but I fear that I have a lifetime of suffering ahead of me. If it's not his wedding, it will be a birthday or promotion that I can't share with him, or his baby that isn't mine.

talaniman
May 11, 2008, 05:32 AM
You will think that way for a while, but we all get busy, because we get tired of siiting around feeling bad. So will you, and gradually day by day, we eventually love ourselves enough to move on.