chick90
Mar 10, 2008, 04:50 AM
Hi everyone this is my first time, this has a lot to do with my relationship and personally myself. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 3 months the start of our relationship was great I tried not to get too but fell in love and gave everything to him if you no what I mean. Anyway I'm not an overly social person and like to keep to myself preferring to hang out with family and rarely go out with friends.
For a while during the middle of my relationship my partner and I kept to ourselves spending most time with each other and neglecting our friends, this brought us so much closer and in turn made me very clingy and dependent on spending most of my time with him.
When all of his friends came back on the scene he made an effort and started going out a lot more without me. I was reluctant to go out with friends as I still wanted to spend all my time with him. This caused me to constantly call and text him wondering where he was and who he was with as I have had trust issues with previous boyfriends, and this relationship started with him cheating on his girlfriend at the time with me.
So fights started to occur and I would get very angry and upset when he would go out with his friends especially one who I knew wasn't a fan of me. 5 months later this is still going on I have to admit I am getting a little better but still can't shake the anger and tears when he goes out with his mates. And I am still not socializing very much with friends, I have just started uni and am making more new friends but have never really had the closeness of a best friend really ever constant in my life. I also find that I get very obsessive with it and tend to think that if he is having more fun with his mates he will forget about me and in turn leave me.
In the last couple weeks he was at an event and actually came home and admitted that he had had temptations to pursue another girl as they were interested in him, and by telling me this I feel that my issues have slightly worsened but I am actually trying not to care about him as much so I too don't get hurt when my emotions roar up. This also made me feel that I can't trust him as much.
Lately I have come to think of reasons I could be like this and have realised little things that may have contributed to the reason that I am like this;
- I have lost a couple of very close family members at a young age which I think may have contributed to the fact that I'm scared to loose him as I love him dearly and we are so close
- I never go out and I think I may be jealous that he has friends but I no its my fault that I don't go out, but I just don't have the motivation or even want to call people to go out.
- The fact that as I only had one parent I was extremely close and he was very overprotective and I hardly ever socialized as a child.
-I have also been diagnosed with minor depression although don't see a pshycologist anymore as I believe he made my emotions worse and I never felt comfortable talking to him.
I really need someone's opinion because my partner and I have been going to break up for the last couple months as he's had enough and so have I. I just need advice on ways to stop being so overprotective and obsessive and ways in which I can help myself beat these emotions
I'm sory that its so long but with more info it may be more effective to relate or give more informative advice for my situation thanks this is my first time and feel as if its my last resortt. :(
For a while during the middle of my relationship my partner and I kept to ourselves spending most time with each other and neglecting our friends, this brought us so much closer and in turn made me very clingy and dependent on spending most of my time with him.
When all of his friends came back on the scene he made an effort and started going out a lot more without me. I was reluctant to go out with friends as I still wanted to spend all my time with him. This caused me to constantly call and text him wondering where he was and who he was with as I have had trust issues with previous boyfriends, and this relationship started with him cheating on his girlfriend at the time with me.
So fights started to occur and I would get very angry and upset when he would go out with his friends especially one who I knew wasn't a fan of me. 5 months later this is still going on I have to admit I am getting a little better but still can't shake the anger and tears when he goes out with his mates. And I am still not socializing very much with friends, I have just started uni and am making more new friends but have never really had the closeness of a best friend really ever constant in my life. I also find that I get very obsessive with it and tend to think that if he is having more fun with his mates he will forget about me and in turn leave me.
In the last couple weeks he was at an event and actually came home and admitted that he had had temptations to pursue another girl as they were interested in him, and by telling me this I feel that my issues have slightly worsened but I am actually trying not to care about him as much so I too don't get hurt when my emotions roar up. This also made me feel that I can't trust him as much.
Lately I have come to think of reasons I could be like this and have realised little things that may have contributed to the reason that I am like this;
- I have lost a couple of very close family members at a young age which I think may have contributed to the fact that I'm scared to loose him as I love him dearly and we are so close
- I never go out and I think I may be jealous that he has friends but I no its my fault that I don't go out, but I just don't have the motivation or even want to call people to go out.
- The fact that as I only had one parent I was extremely close and he was very overprotective and I hardly ever socialized as a child.
-I have also been diagnosed with minor depression although don't see a pshycologist anymore as I believe he made my emotions worse and I never felt comfortable talking to him.
I really need someone's opinion because my partner and I have been going to break up for the last couple months as he's had enough and so have I. I just need advice on ways to stop being so overprotective and obsessive and ways in which I can help myself beat these emotions
I'm sory that its so long but with more info it may be more effective to relate or give more informative advice for my situation thanks this is my first time and feel as if its my last resortt. :(