Hi,

Just wanted to throw this question out there to get some opinions on my situation. I am dating this guy who I am sooo smitten with and that I really care for. We met last year right before he deployed to Iraq. We kept in contact, wrote letters and emails... I guess you could say that I sort of waited for him to get back even though he never officially asked me to.

Well he came back a few weeks ago, and we hung out again and it was so great. He then went on leave out of state to go back home to see his family... while he was home, he invited me to fly home to see him. So I did, and met his family and friends. It was so much fun, and I loved getting to meet everyone. Over text message one night before I got there, he asked me to be his girlfriend and asked me "what we were". I said of course, I would love to be his girlfriend. Since then, he has not mentioned it, and when I brought it up he told me "not to worry" about that question.

I know by his actions that he likes me and cares for me... I am just wondering if he still wants a relationship. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, he was drinking so I don't know if he was completely serious. I don't want to pressure him and scare him away... should I just come right out and ask him what we are? I feel very serious about him. He is the type of guy who doesn't verbally express himself very well. Should I just take his actions as he does want me to be his girlfriend? :)

To be honest, asking someone via text... if they want a relationship is in and of itself... stupid. Mainly because...

1. it's impersonal
2. there's a good chance it wasn't even him
3. there's a good chance he wasn't serious

etc. etc. etc.

You brought it up, and he said "not to worry"... which means he either regrets asking you, or he's just embarrassed about it. Either way, you have one of two choices:

1. he seems to like you... so go with the flow. Just hang out with him and just "settle" into a relationship... of course, this way, you risk him not ever defining the relationship.

2. you tell him how you feel about him and you ask him to be in a relationship. I wouldn't go with the "what are we..." idea as if he's having a hard time expressing himself, then he might not express himself well when you ask him that question. If you want, just tell him flat out, I like you... I want a relationship (if you want). This way, of course, you risk him not returning the same feelings and you two having a falling out.

Either way, best wishes.