I went to London yesterday with my boyfriend Pete, and 6 of his friends. 5 of them are going to Italy with us in September for a holiday.

We also have a weekend away to France Planned over Easter.

Pete and his mate Dave came up with the France Idea and incorporated me to go with them. I assumed that everyone that is going to Italy would be coming to France.

Yesterday whilst the guys were off else where, the two girls looked and me (they are other halfs to two of Petes friends) and started talking about France. They said that neither of them were going because it was a boys weekend away and that I shoudn't go because it will keep costs down for them.

None of us are going to Italy until September and I have not had a holiday in nearly two years, which is why the France idea was suggested. In a bid to give us a break before our actual holiday. Nonone (not even Pete) said it was a boys weekend away; and even if the other girls are not going, I would still like to go.

If Pete had said to me do you mind not coming because us boys woud like to go; then it would not bother me in the slightest. I have told him that if he wants to do something then do it, he does not need my approval. If he wants a boys weekend away, then he can just do it. So he knows I don't mind in the slightest and want him to enjoy himself with his friends as I do with mine. So it's not an issue whether it's a boys weekend aways or not, it's just the fact that these girls have dictated to me not to go, and said it's a boys weekend away; but I was there when it was originally planned and Pete has not said any different to me.

I wanted to say something to Pete yesterday, but couldn't because everyone was there and I don't like to create probems.

Why do you think these girls have done and said this to me?

And what do you think I should do?

I feel very small and insignificant; I feel just the way my ex partner used to make me feel - and I am supposed to be going on holiday to Italy with them?? - Not really the ideal situation.

I don't like being told what to do; and surely if that is what Pete wants to happen he would have said so by now. We tell each other everything. I was having such a great day yesterday; they really spoilt it.

Well first of all whatever these "girls" say, don't take them seriously. I would DEFENITLY talk to Pete and just tell him what they told you. Im sure Pete would give you the truth! Maybe these girls were not invited by there boyfriends on this trip, or they were and for some reason couldn't go or decided not too go. So they are trying to persuade you into not going because you will be the only girl amongst the guys. Now I don't know what there intentions would be to do this, but one thing is for sure, woman can be weird. They may not like the fact that your going to be around there boyfriends (even though you have pete) or they are mad that you got invited and they didn't. Or they could just be mean and be just plain jealous of you.

Bottom line talk to Pete. I have a feeling these gilrs aren't being truthful. Obvioulsy if you were there when the plans were being made and you helped make those plans and none of the guys mentioned that it was a guys only trip, then I'm sure those are what the plans are. On the other hand if Pete was under the assumption that this wasn't a guys weekend and the other guys did, it may have been a miscommunication. But I think you should go since you helped make the plans.

Well first of all whatever these "girls" say, don't take them seriously. I would DEFENITLY talk to Pete and just tell him what they told you. Im sure Pete would give you the truth! Maybe these girls were not invited by there boyfriends on this trip, or they were and for some reason couldn't go or decided not too go. So they are trying to persuade you into not going because you will be the only girl amongst the guys. Now I don't know what there intentions would be to do this, but one thing is for sure, woman can be weird. They may not like the fact that your going to be around there boyfriends (even though you have pete) or they are mad that you got invited and they didnt. Or they could just be mean and be just plain jealous of you.

Bottom line talk to Pete. I have a feeling these gilrs aren't being truthful. Obvioulsy if you were there when the plans were being made and you helped make those plans and none of the guys mentioned that it was a guys only trip, then im sure those are what the plans are. On the other hand if Pete was under the assumption that this wasn't a guys weekend and the other guys did, it may have been a miscommunication. But I think you should go since you helped make the plans.


Well it's very strange to say the least.the general group goes me & pete, Rob & Nat, Rob & Danni and Dave.

Dave spends a lot of time with me and Pete. Dave and I knew each other before Pete and I got together. It was s three who made the plans to go to France.

Rob & danni I only met through Pete. They are engadged and want to get married at the venue I work at and have me help them to organise their wedding, I have been doing this for the last few weeks.

Rob & Nat. Nat is very different from me and I find it really hard to get on with her sometimes; and others OK. Rob happens to be a friend to my Ex - and we had a minor disagreement over my ex when I first started going out with Pete. I walked away from the situation and apologised to Pete, Pete said to me not to worry about it, and Pete stood up for me to no end. Rob apologised and things have been OK, but I do feel slightly vunlerable around them at times.

Pete and I are very affectionate and have no problem doing this in front of the others. Pete always invites me out with them, even if I end up being the only girl there. But the majority of my friends are guys and I am used to being the only female.

Rob & Danni are affectionate in public at times, but not always.

Rob & Nat are never really affectionate in front of us.

Dave recently split up with his girlfriend (now his ex) because she cheated on him. He is now single, but is so much fun to hang out with. He is the only one I feel comfortable enough with to be myself, but then I already knew him.

Rob & Danni did not even know about France until yesterday, even though we told back when we arranged it.

Nat was the one who said it was a boys weekend away and that I shouldn't go.

I never have this problem with my friends. If the guys want a weekend away without any girls (including me) or a boys night out, then they will just tell me so. 9 times out of 10 they invite me anyway.

Bluiman, Wildcat, Fredg, anyone could really use your advice right now.

I think you should go. If only one of the guys had mention that he thought it should be a guys weekend away and it wasn't a group decision then hes' a bit out numbered. Id talk to pete and find out what the details are.

I think you should go. If only one of the guys had mention that he thought it should be a guys weekend away and it wasn't a group decision then hes' a bit out numbered. Id talk to pete and find out what the details are.

I think you are right. Maybe I should just not say anything about what Nat said (even though Danni backed her up) and just say to Pete "so whats hapening about France" he will then tell me what's happening and if he does not mention thatits a boys weekend, then I will know to ignore Nat and just do what I choose to do, not what she is telling me to do.

I just cannot help, but feel awkward though.

Exactly, I'm positive Pete would be able to clear up the details. I wouldn't worry about it. It just sounds as if something may have gotten miscommunicated

Either that or your theory about, their other halves not inviting them and pete inviting me did not go down to well, so now they are trying to stop me from going to make themselves feel better? Sounds more like it to me.

Oh that is also a good possibility, that's what I feel mostly is the case. Im sure you know other woman can be nasty and vindictive. Always get the info. From your boyfriend. Then you know that if they lied you can't trust them

Definitely. I trust Pete with my life. But I don't trust them. They are not actually my friends after all. If I was not with Pete, then I probably would not even see them, only maybe in passing!!

Im sure that's very difficult. And Im sure at times they treat you like an outsider. But they have to get over it. You and Pete are together and if they respect Pete they need to respect you.

Im sure that's very difficult. And Im sure at times they treat you like an outsider. But they have to get over it. You and Pete are together and if they respect Pete they need to respect you.

You got it in one! That's exactly how they treat me at times. But I am big enough and strong enough to just ignore them when they do that. We were out at the weekend and both his friends and my friends were out. Even though I was actually out with Pete and his friends I kept disappearing to go and dance with mine, chat to mine etc. Pete doesn't worry about it and it just makes the awkwardness a lot better for me!

My friends and I are a lot different to Petes friends. I did not join Pete on Friday until 11.30pm as I was DJing before hand. He was sat out with some of his friends and they started talking about some people who were sat across the way from them in this pub. They were saying that these people were nutters and wierdo's - only turned out that it was my mates. Pete looked up and said "No, they are cool" - they are Holly's mates" and they shut up after that. It's just a case of, we are quite random, and we do whatever we like because we do not care what others think of us, so we just have a laugh. We are always taking the mickey out each other etc - I think some people find us hard to take because we are so bubbley, random & happy all the time.

You have such an awsome man DJ"H. It takes a lot of kahunas!! To stand up to your own friends and defend your girl's friends.

And I commend you a lot, you and your friends don't need to sit like lumps (like his friends) and not have a good time. There the ones who have a problem, so what you guys want to enjoy yourself. UGGHH people like that make me mad. Im the same way I like to enjoy myself and dance I've been in situation where, woman, mostly will look at me weird or even will make a rude comment. Its not that Im drunk I just like to have a good time. I honestly don't drink that much when I go out. And others have always mistaken me for being tipsy when Im not. Hey when your at home all day with two little ones and finally get a chance to go out and have fun, I don't need alcohol to get me to the point.

But anyway don't worry so much about Petes friends, They may even come around ounce they get to know you, but if they don't it's there loss cause you sound like a really cool person to hang with.

You are the very same as me. I often go out and just drink soft drinks. Occasionally I go a little mad and get a bit drunk, but most of the time I might just have a couple or none at all. I am such a party animal, I don't need alcohol to have a good time, which I feel is how it should be. When I get out on my travels, I will most definitely be coming to New England to party with you. I can see we would have so much fun ;)

Thank you so much - I feel a whole lot better. My man is awesome (I love him so much) - I just wish I could tell him, I just don't think it's time to yet. We have only been together for 4months.

His friends are the one with the problem and there is no reason why I should feel the way I do.

You are a star bizygurl, as always, you have put a smile back on my face and to hell with them I will do what I always do - be myself!! If they don't like it they can lump it. As for France, unless Pete says otherwise, I am going!! :)

you are the very same as me. I often go out and just drink soft drinks. ocasionally I go a little mad and get a bit drunk, but most of the time I might just have a couple or none at all. I am such a party animal, I don't need alcohol to have a good time, which I feel is how it should be. When I get out on my travels, I will most definately be coming to New England to party with you. I can see we would have so much fun ;)
Exactly sweetie! Hey you know what there is nothing wrong at the end of a long week you feel like going a little "mad"
Its funny I'm always the one that drives because I don't drink nearly as much as my friends do, which is fine with me. I have one drink very early in the night and three or four hours later I'm fine to drive. But all my other friends drink and drink but its fine, fortunately the friends I have are responsible and they all seem to know when they have had enough, so no worries. But yeah, I really don't have to drink to have a good time, and your right it should be that way. Its kind of sad that some have to be drunk to enjoy themselves.

Without a doubt girl, you come to New England and Ill take you out. A friend of mine has a good friend that lives in New York, and the spots in New York are CRAZY! It would be an expirence that's for sure we would have a blast. I lve only about 1 1/2 hours from NY city.

Thank you so much - I feel a whole lot better. My man is awesome (I love him so much) - I just wish I could tell him, I just don't think it's time to yet. We have only been together for 4months.

His friends are the one with the problem and there is no reason why I should feel the way I do.

You are a star bizygurl, as always, you have put a smile back on my face and to hell with them I will do what I always do - be myself!!! If they don't like it they can lump it. As for France, unless Pete says otherwise, I am going!!! :)
Oh of course they are, anyone who is going to judge someone before they get a chance to get to know them have got the problem, its not you. And they would probably be like this to any girlfriend Pete would have had. GOod for you to hell what they think!! :D :D :D :D You go on with your bad self, don't let them intimidate you!!
Ps. I'm happy I made you smile!

Exactly sweetie! Hey ya know what there is nothing wrong at the end of a long week you feel like going a little "mad"
Its funny im always the one that drives because I don't drink nearly as much as my friends do, which is fine with me. i have one drink very early in the night and three or four hours later im fine to drive. But all my other friends drink and drink but its fine, fortunately the friends I have are responsible and they all seem to know when they have had enough, so no worries. But yeah, I really don't have to drink to have a good time, and your right it should be that way. Its kinda sad that some have to be drunk to enjoy themselves.

Without a doubt girl, you come to New England and Ill take ya out. A friend of mine has a good friend that lives in New York, and the spots in New York are CRAZY! It would be an expirence thats for sure we would have a blast. I lve only about 1 1/2 hours from NY city.

I am always designated driver lol - all because I don't mind staying sober lol -we have so much in common.

New England sounds fab, and I have always wanted to go to New York. My friend has applied for a works visa and will be coming to New York early next year to live & work for a year if not longer. His girlfriend will be accompanying him once she has finished Uni. Perhaps I could set it up to Fly over with him (for a holiday if nothing else) and then travel to New England since it's not far away. We could have a plan of action here!!

Yeahhhhhhh!! Hey whenever you decide to come, I'll be here.
Even if for any reason my friend can't get a hold of her friend from new york(its been awhile since they talked) there are plenty of places about we could go.

yeahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!. Hey whenever you decide to come, i'll be here.
Even if for any reason my friend can't get a hold of her friend from new york(its been awhile since they talked) there are plenty of places about we could go.

Looks like I will be getting on the plane with my mate then when he leaves for New York :) - Not sure if Pete will come, but he won't mind me going, as long as it's only for a couple of weeks!!

Oooh I am all excited now, best start planning and saving my pennies :)

Looks like I will be getting on the plane with my mate then when he leaves for New York :) - Not sure if Pete will come, but he won't mind me going, as long as it's only for a couple of weeks!!!

Oooh I am all excited now, best start planning and saving my pennies :)
That's so awsome!! I would love to visit the UK. And Ireland Actually my father did when he was in high school and he loved it. I love to travel but its all about the money, I got to win the lottery or something or rob a bank,lol Just kidding.
But before I die my plan is to visist Europe. I don't know how but I will. Im Portuguese and Irish so those are two countries Id love to see also. Its nice to see where your heritage came from.

You would love the States!

Well I have not bought the subject up with Pete yet. We had a wonderful time relaxing and snuggling last night, so I did not want to start talking about plans, this that and the other. Need to pick a time when I can drop it in to conversation I think.

Ok I spoke to Pete last night about this trip to France. I asked him "is this France Trip a boys weekend?" he replied "Thats depends on you on whether you want to come or not as I don't think the other girls are going"

I told him that Nat had more or less told me that I wasn't to go and that it would keep costs down and that it was a boys weekend? - He was really shocked and couldn't understnd why she had siad that, he also said that it would make no different to cost. So he said "I will pin them down and sort this out" I told him that if he preferred it to be a boys weekend away then I did not have any kind of problem with it, but being told what to do by someone else, someone that I barely was wrong and I wasn't having any of it.

So we will have to wait and see what transpires. I am really worried this is going to strain Pete and I. The worst thing ever is not getting on with your partners friends, even when it is not my fault.

Oh I knew it, these girls were nothing but trouble.
Sweetie, don't worry about it putting a strain on you and Pete. It isn't your fault that these other guys girlfriends are a bunch of petty quacks. And Im sure Pete knows that too. As long as you get along with "his" friends and not necessarily there girlfriends, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Cheers bizygurl. I needed to hear that. I am so worried, but I am sure everything will be fine. I am so used to having people interfere in my relationships and ruin it, that's why I am a little apprehensive. But hopefully Pete will resolve this mess.

Im sure he will, I wouldn't worry unless you have something to worry about. The one good thing I can tell you that, if pete is going to stand up to his friends and defend you and your friends, tells me that he isn't going to let anyone ruin what he has with you. When you have a good man like that you don't have to worry about those kinds of things. Obviously he cares for you and what you have, he be the stupid one to let anything ruin that.

You are right as always Bizygurl. Its just sometimes hard to see from inside the box. I am just not used to having a man care so much for me that he would in fact stand up to his friends for me and for my friends and actually want me to be a part of life so much. Its so wonderful, sometimes I think it's too good to be true. :)

Well, I just thought I would update you. Since this all happened Pete has seen these guys less and less. He has actually stopped inviting them out and to special events. I feel really bad because they are his friends and I know it is his own choice to do what he is, but I do feel sometimes that I am responsible, even though it wasn't actually my fault and I did not do anything wrong.

That's too bad. But don't look at it as your fault DJ.. It sounds like Pete has drifted away from them and he probably sees things in them that he doesn't like. It sounds from your other posts, that he's a good judge of character. Most guys don't give up their buddies for a girl unless they have a good reason to. Or maybe the reason isn't because of you. But either way don't let it get to you. Pete made the decision not you.

Ypu are right as always bizygurl. The only mates he ever invites out is Sam & Dave - they are on the same wave length as us and are so outgoing. ;)

Pete needs to tell you why he is doing these things and you need to tell him about your concerns. It's better to ask than to needlessly worry and better to be sure than to assume.

Pete needs to tell you why he is doing these things and you need to tell him about your concerns. It's better to ask than to needlessly worry and better to be sure than to assume.

Pete is not the problem. We are honest and open with each other. He has actua;lly stopped hanging put with those that try to sir up problems and made it very clear to them that he is with me so they have to either like it or lump it.

And if I am honest I am not feeling small anymore, more so feeling that I am a much better person than these other people and as long asd I know that I will be just fine!!