My girlfriend and I broke up because she was away at college and us being apart was too much for her dependence issues. So she got attached to someone else just because I wasn't around. When summer comes I know they will not be able to continue the relationship and she will come running back to me. I will be seeing her over spring break for the first time in like two months. Her family agrees that she is making a mistake but have not really done anything aside from a few talks. When I see her I wanted to talk to her mom about the situation, here is my question: should I tell her mom how I feel and ask her to help me out by trying to get it through her head that she needs to re-evaluate what she is doing. Or should I just talk to my ex telling her basically "this is it I'm setting you free if you love me you will come back" and that she can't have it both ways. I know the second option is the appropriate one but I feel like if I don't talk to her mom I might be missing a huge opportunity.

I'm in a similar situation as you and curious about what others will tell you. I do not think you should involve her mother or try to convince her to stay with you. However, I also do not think you should wait around for her while she's out "exploring the waters." No matter how much you think she will come back I would not hold on to that notion because it is not a certainty. I think at this point you should live your life as if she is no longer a part of it. If you two are meant to be then it will happen but do not live your life waiting on her.

The more I think about it the more I feel the mom thing is probably a bad idea. I had quite a few nice things lined up for spring break but I think I'm going to leave it at "this is your choice you have to live with it". Doing nice things for her would just all around be a bad idea right?

The more I think about it the more I feel the mom thing is probably a bad idea. I had quite a few nice things lined up for spring break but i think I'm going to leave it at "this is your choice you have to live with it". Doing nice things for her would just all around be a bad idea right?

duck22 is right.. leave her Mom out of it. We Moms love our children and don't like being placed in the middle or forced to take sides - and it's unfair of you to even think of that.
Also, why not do the nice things you planned for spring break? That might be just what she needs after all the stress of learning - how about making her holiday unforgettable so that she sees how great a guy you can be. Are you the type that thinks that she only deserves your favors if she kisses your feet and avoids the rest of the world. Should you be the center of her new universe just because you have to stay where you are - that sounds childish. You should be proud that your girl has a chance for a future, better job, knowledge, and still willing to see you and share what part of life that she can with you. You don't own her. If she comes to you it will be of her own free will and she will have her reasons. If she decides to go on with her life, then maybe you are the one with blinders on and not ready to look at a wider picture. If you really love someone, you give them the space and chance to advance and learn all they want to - not hold them back with threats. Just because she 'sees' guys at school does not mean she is sleeping with them - or do you have a crystal ball telling you different.
Wait and talk to her when she comes home before flying off the handle, please - it just might do you some good to learn to have patience.


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) If you are the jealous type that rants at everything without thinking it through first - you should stop and think of how unhappy you'll be for the rest of your life because it will push those you love away from you.

Don't EVER wait for someone man. Why should you put your life on hold for someone else. Second, you don't know if things will not work out of the summer for them, you're clinging onto false hope here. Things might work out, then you will be even more heartbroken. Third, it does not matter what her family thinks about her decision as it is... Her decision

It's time to man up, start with the No Contact IMMEDIATELY! Don't call, text, write, e-mail, Facebook etc... Get her out of your life and start to move on... If she calls you, you decide if you want to pick up, but stop dwelling on what might happen and start making things happen for yourself.

Romefalls is right, I think the best thing to do right now is to follow through with no contact. If you do happen to talk to her one last time do not give her any ultimatums. Keep it short, sweet, and too the point. I would simply tell her what she means to you, that you want her to be happy, and that you are not putting you life on hold. This way she knows that you will be respecting her space and not going to be a backup guy. Unless she's at your doorstep I would be strict with keeping no contact after that.

Sorry guy, but none of your plans is acceptable, for one its not her mothers business, and if you need her mother to keep her, you have no relationship. Likewise with the ultimatum angle, as she may laugh in your face for a childish stunt like that. LOSE-LOSE situations. Now leaving her alone, and moving on, is your best option to getting your manhood back, as its mature and independent, and can bring long term happiness, and keep you from making a complete fool of yourself. She obviously has written you off, and has other plans, that don't include you.

Yeah I've pretty much made up my mind. I'm done with this relationship and will let her know it when I see her. I don't want to be involved with her after the things she has done. I know I deserve better and after seeing her true colors she doesn't deserve me at all.

Yeah I've pretty much made up my mind. I'm done with this relationship and will let her know it when I see her. I don't want to be involved with her after the things she has done. I know I deserve better and after seeing her true colors she doesn't deserve me at all.

Having made your mind up to start a new chapter in life, you can take the steps to healing. We will be here to help you, so don't feel alone, and good luck dear. Life will have it's ups and downs and sometimes we can use a little assistance in accepting rejection and dealing with it.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)

Hey man, this same thing happened/happening to me. Here's what I did. First of all, follow the advice given here to to letter! Go NC, this will turn your situation into a win-win, 1st win- you get to move on and you'll be just fine in the future, 2nd win- she comes crawling back, however if she does this; you probably won't want her. Because you know when she goes back to school again, this whole situation could start all over again. Do you really want to with someone so needy? Not only that, but someone who left you for someone else?

I know you've already made your decision, I just thought I'd reinforce it, just in case you started to doubt yourself. Good luck, keep us posted

Yeah the whole school thing is what makes this so complicated for me. While we were apart for the first year, I had planned on transferring to her college next fall so that we could be together and she is fully aware of this. I know when I tell her my decision she will say something like "I was going to get back with you". Which will instantly make me regret telling her my decision. But I know she is only saying that to try to make me feel bad. It will also make me wonder if she had always intended to get back together with me and was only dating the other guy because he was there for her when I couldn't be(our colleges are like four hours apart but despite that I still went to visit her quite a few times). I seriously feel like it is 50/50 exactly that she could be trying to screw me over or she just doesn't know what to do and really does want to be with me. I think the best thing I can do is tell her how I feel and when summer rolls around and she will have to split up with her current boyfriend, then she can talk to me(if she truly regrets what she has done). Is this a bad idea?

The other day when we were talking she got one of my texts late that said something along the lines of "that should tell you something...but lets not talk about that". She thought there was something I had not told her and was like freaking out even though it was just something that went along with our earlier conversation. And I can't help but think she thought I was going to say I met someone else or something. I know if I had met someone else and told her she would absolutely freak out like total carnage freak out on me. How can she do that when she is the one dating someone else it makes no sense.

Also she would get mad at me if I was in the same room as my best friend's girlfriend with my best friend there of course, but I recently found out the whole time she has been at college she has been going to parties and has not told me. I don't care that she went to parties in fact I totally understand why she is at college and she wants to have fun(even though if I went to parties it was a total crap fest for like weeks which is why I didn't go to any parties) it's that she didn't tell me and as far as I knew she completely hated parties. And how can she do that and think its OK but I can't even be in the same room as my best friends girlfriend.

About her "needyness" yes she is a very dependent person, but so am I. She needed someone to be there for her that didn't lie, wouldn't go behind her back, and wouldn't desert her. And I loved the fact that she needed me so much, that's how I was dependent on her.

This whole situation is far more complexed then I could ever explain. I really wish I could outline the entire situation though as it is so confusing and I would love insight. She makes it seem like she is going to get back with me and she knows they will break up over the summer because he lives over five hours away, and there is no way they will get to see each other over the summer. And I feel like if I do tell her my decision I will be throwing away our relationship. Should I want to get back with her knowing that these things would never happen again and were only a product of us being apart and her not knowing what to do? I truly do love her, which is why I am even giving it thought.

She had no trust in me what-so-ever and I believe it was because she was doing all the things she was afraid I would do. If that makes sense.

Windshield... if she really truly loved you, do you think she would want to break-up? She is a needy flake, my ex was the same way. Read my thread. She went away to college, I was going to go to the same in the fall, but she broke up with me soon before christmas, I asked her "you can't wait 4 months for me?" and she complained that that was too long to wait. I know its hard and I really feel for you but right now you need to help yourself become a strong independent guy. I loved that my ex "needed" me too, but if she really needed ME then she wouldn't have broken up with me, she may think she was in love with me, but I'm thinking that she was just in love with my company. And I think the same goes for your ex.

Yeah, she's confused, but you shouldn't have to compete or wait for anyone. If she isn't sure if she wants to be with you now, will she ever? Its time you start making plans for yourself without her, when you think about your future picture it without her. Think about it, you can do whatever the hell you want now without some needy girl hovering all over you. Yeah, I know you liked it, and I did too. Hell my ex and I had an amazing relationship, but I don't know if I would try again if she wanted to, she left me for someone else and didn't have the balls to tell me that, she just complained about distance and that she feels different with me not around. She may not regret it now, but she will one day.

So yeah, stop concerning yourself with what she may be thinking or feeling. It doesn't matter anymore, if she wants to break up that's her problem. So stick with NC and try to get yourself better.

West it seems like our situations are exact, haha. If you are still alive I know I'll make it too(I hope I know I'm capable) thank you for your support! This is definitely hard but it's the "maybes" of it that makes it hard. If she would just straight tell me to "frick off" and she didn't love me I could move on. But it seems like she is making it as hard as possible on purpose. She texts me saying stuff like sweetie, you are amazing, you are perfect, etc. And I'm like why are you talking to me like this when you are dating someone else, it drives me nuts. But I know I will be OK once I get the closure of talking to her face to face, whether she is gone from my life for good or we work out future plans to be friends. I want to be as mature and polite about the talk too as I see there is nothing to gain from me being mean or cruel and that would just make me look like a wiener. I've probably wrote and re-wrote what I want to say 30 times and I think I finally have it right. I don't say anything mean or even say that I think she is making a huge mistake even though I feel it so strongly. I guess she will realize it on her own. I do plan on confronting her about the party thing, although I will be rational and understanding of it even though it makes no sense and if it were the other way around her hands would be around my neck and I wouldn't be making it out alive(seriously).

If I were you I wouldn't talk to her at all, I practiced my speech for my ex so many times it makes me sick to think about it now. Talking will get you nowhere my friend, as I'm pretty sure real romantic love cannot be negotiated. Leave her alone, if you can't handle her texts then ask her nicely to stop, as it is making it harder for you to move on, and if she cares at all then she'll respect that, or if she really does want to get back together she'll let you know. As for meeting during spring break, let her set up the meeting, and if you decide to meet her, you don't have to talk much, she broke up with you, you don't owe her a thing, not even letting her know how you feel. If you meet let her do the talking and listen to what she has to say, if it just seems like she wants to be friends tell her you can't handle that. (unless you can, which I doubt) you don't deserve to be anyone's plan B. please don't let her have her cake and eat it too. Don't become her security blanket and you can't really trust anything she has to say anyway. He actions have spoken louder than anything she can say, breaking up with you for someone else because you can't be there for her isn't any form of love, caring, or respect. You owe it to yourself to forget about her.

Its been two months of NC for me, and I'll tell you that I feel TOTALLY different than when I did when I was back in your shoes, I was expecting a call at spring break and over the summer, and now I really couldn't care less, and instead of practicing my speech about how she hurt me and what she did wrong, I'm now practicing a 2 line speech if does happen to call me (which I doubt) it goes a little something like this: (scenario- if she wants to meet up) me: uuuuh, I don't think so. If she asks why ill tell her that she doesn't deserve any of my time. Neither does your ex, you have better things to do, and if you don't, it doesn't matter just let her know that you can't see her. If she really does want you then she'll be pounding on your door.

I think if she left you for some other guy then she's not much worth having again because that could occur again. And also just follow your heart and instincts you'll find the way soon. Have faith.

I agree with IHate... I have thought about what I want to say to my ex a thousand times. Mainly because she is constantly asking people how I am doing, requesting my friends, staring at me, mad I flirt with other girls. But none of my words will matter, so I just keep them to myself or write them down and put it in a box.

If she left you for another guy, she already made her decision, why want closure? Her ending it was closure

I read your threads West, and the e-mail you wanted to send back to her is pretty much EXACTLY what I want to say to her, but I know it will do nothing to help me out. So I think I'm just going to go over to her place when she asks to hang out, bring her some Starbucks, homemade cookies, and an Audrey Hepburn magazine that I know she will love(the cookies and magazine are for the plane trip she is taking over spring break to see some of her family up north). And basically try to keep it as short and sweet as possible saying "We had a good run and you made me very happy but now its time for me to move on. If you want to be with me you will be, you won't just say you want to be. If you do come pounding at my door I'll let you in and we can talk about this. Until then I need you to break off contact with you because it makes it too hard". I sort of want to cut out the last sentence or word it better because I want to tell her to stop talking to me or that when she does I wont respond but I'm not sure how. Also I had a pretty nice day planned out for us in your opinion(s) should I tell her this stuff before the day even happens and bag the day or give her the nice day acting like its all ok then tell her at the end(as of now she knows that I have the day planned out and I will feel kinda wiener just being like "hey don't ever talk to me again" and not going through with the day)?

I would just tell her that your plans have changed, just like her plans to be your girlfriend. I mean, its nice what you're trying to say to her and everything, but has she been nice to you? I know you want to tell her things to make her think about what she is doing, but the sad part about that is, she won't... she thinks what she is doing is okay, and by you meeting up with her is just going to relieve some of her guilt and make it easier for her to feel like she made the right choice. You don't need anymore closure other than that she left you for someone else (like romefalls said). The best revenge you can get on her is to become a strong independent guy (ladies love it). I met with my ex before she went back to school, it was kind of awkward and I wanted her to go, but she didn't. All she ended up doing was giving me more false hope that she would come back. (I.E. making out with me, keeping the bracelet I gave her... ) it wasn't good for me, if I could go back I would have told her not to come over... meeting her will probably do no good for you, but it will for her... re-read your last post, doesn't that seem like a bit much for someone who dropped you for someone else?

Agggggggggggg you're so right. I'm bagging the day but I still think I'm going to at least see her, I got to do that. Because if I see her and she just doesn't look like the same girl I will know I'm making the right choice. I'll give an update after the meeting occurs(most likely tomorrow night). And to elaborate if I don't talk to her and just totally bag the plans won't that also make her think she made the right choice? Unless I tell her the plans have changed thing(which is a good idea).

She has admitted she made a mistake but she didn't do anything about it. And the part about her not being nice to me so why should I want to be nice to her.. I don't know I feel being mean just for the sake of being mean is not very mature.

I have one last question before this day concludes... I am thinking about not seeing her and writing her an email and then just texting her saying "I sent you an e-mail". The e-mail would go something like...

"[Insert her name] our continued communication is not good for either of us. It makes moving on that much more difficult. From this point forward we need to terminate all communication, no texting, e-mail, or phone calls it is what is best for both of us. If you do care about me you will respect this decision. I wish you all the best for your future".

Now my question is I am debating putting at the end of the e-mail something like "If you want to be with me you will be. But you have to figure out your situation on your own and make it right". Should I add that? And if so, after a few months(or longer... ) she really has changed and wants to be with me and has at least been doing her best to correct her mistakes should I give her another chance?

Because if I look down like as deep as I can into my heart(wow that sounds lame) I know she is aware she made a huge mistake and has no idea about what to do. I truly believe she wants to be with me and she is just incredibly confused and I know once she realizes this she will do everything in her power to make it right. Or am I just going on false hope?

False hope buddy, sorry to burst your bubble... But I have been in your situation before, and while you think she made a mistake, she might not see it that way. Don't add the last part of the letter, if you send anything, just send the first part. Why put the ball in her court? You can't wait around forever for her to come back. Go live your life, if it's meant to be it will find you farther down the road. If its one thing I have learned, you can't control your fate. You were born to walk a certain path, and nothing you say or do will ever change that. Put this girl in the past as she has to you. What will be will be.

If there is no stopping the meeting, then just tell her that you've had loads of fun with her, and that you don't understand why she would want to mess with a good thing, and tell her that you can't be her friend if she wants to do this. That's pretty much what I told my ex soon after she asked for "just a break"... and she's only contacted me once after she went back to school via email.

We got it easier than some other people Windshield... since she is away at school, there is a highly unlikely chance of randomly running into her (which I hear is awful!).

and I wasn't saying that you should be mean, just that you shouldn't be too nice, because, well, break-up's aren't nice.

As for the email... its not bad, but its ultimately up to you... personally however, I would wait till she tries to contact you for the meeting, and if you still don't want to meet up then I would tell her what I said I would say earlier.

good luck

Yeah but... unlike your ex... Mine will be calling me texting me and then at my house if I don't talk to her I know that for a fact. She will completely flip crap and go nuts. Which is why I don't understand this situation at all... and then once summer rolls around she will do it all over again. And even though I am applied to other schools and such who knows what could happen with that... because if I ended up having to go to her school that would be GG.

DO BOTH!!!!! I bet her mom would really like that and if you talk to "YO GIRL":p its kinda obvious she HAS to like you who wouldn't!?!?!?! after all you seem like a good bofriend


GO FOR THE GOLD....... you know you wanna!

So basically what you're saying is your OK with here having fun with other guys while at school but coming home to you during the summer feeding you the lines "I missed you?" I mean ultimately you are going to make your own decision regardless but I would simply tell her to cut off communication(whether she likes it or not) and just go your separate ways.

I know, I want to cut off all communication but all I'm saying is she will not agree one bit. And will go totally psycho leading me to have to change my number... actually. I just don't understand how she can freak out that much and not just be like "OK I really really messed up and will do everything in my power to fix it. I know I have to do it on my own and give you time to decide if you want to be back with me after I have changed". And I mean if she is totally cool with it and doesn't contact me at all I'm OK with that too.

As of now I'm just going to wait for her to contact me... I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say although it will be something along the lines of we need to never talk again... which she will reply with something lame like "you never loved me" or "I banged tons of dudes" both of which just to try to make me feel bad. The first one won't bother me because I know I love her, but the second one I think I will have to respond to... saying something along the lines of "Guess what I didn't bang anyone else, because when you are in a relationship that is not what you do...you retard" which will have much more of an effect because she has like convinced her self I cheated on her(which I never did nor would ever do) because she can't trust people.

I don't know I think I'm pretty much over this bull crap... for example yesterday her Facebook status was "I love my boyfriend" and it didn't even bother me I just laughed and was like wow... and if she would tell me she never loved me or anything I don't think that would bother me either because the amount of bull crap she has done like shocked me into auto not caring about her crazy psycho lifestyle. Which will lead her to guilt trip me as much as she can... I'm just going to do my best to delete the texts without reading them and not answering the phone until I can change my number... if she goes nuts.

First thing, you need to remind yourself that you are not a psychic. You are creating all these predictions of how she will react when in all honesty you have no idea how things will go. Don't worry though, its just a common side effect of heartbreak, I used to do it a lot to. However, stop thinking so far ahead and deal with the situation as it is now.

Second, as everyone has already mentioned, stick to No Contact. An e-mail will do you no good, and if there absolutely has to be a meeting between you two then go out with a bang. Be mature, don't give ultimatums, and just remind her that you love her and it's a shame things didn't work out. If she asks to stay in contact, tell her that you simply are just not ready for friendship, but maybe in a couple of months. Personally though, I would avoid any meeting unless she insists to meet up.

Third, if for some reason she does go nuts trying to contact you then great. Keep ignoring all texts, e-mails, and phone calls until you receive the one that says "I'm sorry, I made a mistake and I want to try this again." I'm not implying this will happen, but unless she tells you something like this then ignore everything else. Don't change your number, too much effort, just ignore her.

Finally, and I mean no disrespect and I don't want to offend you but sometimes I feel that a person has to be harsh in order to help a friend out so here goes: Grow some balls! This girl is walking all over you. She has another boyfriend and she is still purposefully holding onto your heart! Why in the world would you let her do this to you! If she really loved you then she would be faithful to you. Why would you even allow her to come back after she left you! I don't care if she got lonely, that is no excuse. What is going to keep her from doing this again? When it comes to a true, loving, and committed relationship there is no such thing as "Well I'm lonely right now, I'm going to date this guy and when we see each other again I'll leave him for you." Do you realize how stupid that sounds! I'm sorry if this offends you, but get your manhood back and tell her your done with the games. Mark her off the list and call out "NEXT!"

Not offended at all. That is what I want to do... But I'm not sure how to go about that... just like texting her "yo you fu..ed up and you know it I'm done with your shi..... don't ever talk to me again". Or... is that not what you mean...

No not at all. Don't be rude. Remember, I said go out with a bang, which means leave a good lasting impression. In my opinion you should no longer attempt to contact her. Let her call you a couple a times. Ignore the calls, texts, and e-mails for 2 or 3 days. Then when you are ready call her and tell her that you have been thinking a lot for the past few days, from there tell her the truth. Remind her that you love her but as a result you can no longer continue talking to her because she is currently with someone else. Tell her that it hurts staying in contact knowing that she has another boyfriend. Again, let her know you love her, that you've enjoyed all the fun times you had together, and that you feel it's a shame that things had to end this way. Finally, tell her that maybe someday you two can try this again, but as of now its best for the both of you that things end.

Remember, no ultimatums. If she asks to stay in contact or be friends, then tell her that right now you can't but maybe in a few months. From this point forward go full No Contact. Ignore every phone call, e-mail, and text. Do not respond until she is practically begging to try the relationship again. In all honesty, she more then likely will never do that, but unless she does then continue No Contact.

Let go of all hope. Move on with your life. If she comes back then that's great, if not then oh well. You deserve the best, don't ever forget that.

Will do, I'll let you fellows know how it goes once I make the call. Which will be the last time I ever contact her.

I don't think it's appropriate to use her mother as a go-between. Frankly I'd just tell her it's over. It sounds like she's more interested in security than you. Why would she have even gone away to college if she has all these "dependence" issues? Something's not adding up here ; big red flag in my opinion.

Yeah but...unlike your ex ... Mine will be calling me texting me and then at my house if I don't talk to her I know that for a fact. She will completely flip crap and go nuts. Which is why I don't understand this situation at all...and then once summer rolls around she will do it all over again. And even though I am applied to other schools and such who knows what could happen with that....because if I ended up having to go to her school that would be GG.

My ex was the same way, called me everyday, texted me about 2000 times a month, after the break-up she did a complete 180... you'd be surprised how people can just flip a switch so easily (or make it seem so easily)

I hope so.. hooked up tonight so... feeling better.

My ex was the same way, called me everyday, texted me about 2000 times a month, after the break-up she did a complete 180... you'd be surprised how people can just flip a switch so easily (or make it seem so easily)
Its amazing how some people can do this. You can be everything they need for the longest time then poof, your nothing but a memory to them. I think this is one of the things that make these types of breakups so hard.

Anyway, windshield it is good that you are feeling better. The first two weeks are the hardest in my opinion.

So she has started texting me and stuff... I haven't called her yet but she is texting me about hanging out... should I really just ignore them and call her in a few days... Won't me ignoring her be the wrong thing to do? If I could possibly get an answer to this by 2:30 est... I would be grateful...

Yes, ignore her. Don't think you're being a jerk, you're just handling things the best way you can.

Thanks for the response... and the back up of that response... she has texted me three times called me twice and left a voice mail since I posted my previous post... It's whatever I'll call her when I want... going to another party tonight so most likely tomorrow but either way I don't really care. I'm having fun again and doing what I want.. This is probably the best thing that has happened to me in a LONG time

Personally I think you should wait 2 or 3 days since the last time you talked to her. Not because it's a game but because you need to gather your composure. If you call her now and things don't go the way you planned than you'll be a nervous wreck and you'll be back here telling us you screwed up during the conversation. Just relax, think about what you want to say and prepare yourself for anything that may not go your way. You can't predict what she will say but you can prepare yourself to be calm and confident.

I already have it planned out. And it can't really go wrong for me... no matter what she says I'm over the situation and am moving on. I'm just going to leave the relationship on a good note and that's that.

Awesome, I'm glad to hear you got things under control. I still suggest you wait a little longer. Go to the party tonight, have fun, and take things from there.

That's the plan... but for now I got to go to work! Have a good day she is calling me as I am typing this...

OK you can do both talllk to her mom then talk to her

Welp... I got like 15 seconds into what I had to say and she hung up on me. And she just texted me saying she hates me more than anything I'm not even going to respond. But it does get me thinking... how can this be all her fault and she hates me? Does she know its her fault and she just wants to nuke me or something? Either way I'm moving on and she is calling me right now..

Its not, she sounds really immature, like most needy girls.

She is being very immature. Unfortunately some people do that. They will throw all the blame on you just so that they can feel better about themselves, even though it was their fault. Funny thing though is that I'm pretty sure people like your ex know it's their fault, they just don't have the strength to accept it, so they will try to turn things on you.

Don't take any verbal abuse from her, so with that said don't answer her texts or calls. Keep us up-to-date.

When you have had enough of the kids games, then simply stop the contact from her, and to her. Disappear from her life, and make it stick.

That's exactly how its going she has texted me multiple times called me... texts consisted of.. please answer ill do anything... please I want this to work... please please I really want this to work... I have not responded and I think she would have to send me something incredibly like whoa OK she is serious... but until then not talking to her. I'm doing the right thing by not believing the "ill do anything" "I want this to work" texts right? Even though to me it doesn't really matter because I don't want to be in a relationship with her until I believe she truly wants to be in one with me and makes me the type of priority I made her and even then I would only think about it. There is no way I would just take her back she would have a ton of work to do. And she had the nerve to say "please listen to my side of the story" and "give me the same respect I gave you at least".

Man this girl is a real mind ninja. She is really trying to twist and turn things on you. I mean how can she want this to work when she is with some other guy?

In your situation I would text her back later tonight and tell her that we can talk at so and so time, as long as she promises to listen to you and not hang up in the middle of the conversation. Be in control of the situation by setting the time you two talk. Tell her exactly what you were going to tell her earlier.

However, you should wait to hear other peoples opinions on this one. I'm sure some people will suggest to just ignore her, which in all honesty might not be a bad idea given the way she is acting. So for now let her stew in her own disaster.

Yeah that is basically what I'm doing... letting her stew and waiting on opinions. So far I have had no problem not talking to her. And I had a great night last night.. I suppose I'll figure out how much she really means it if she actually does "anything" and by that I mean if she continues to call me like day after day after day all day then I might be like OK... and if she gives up after just today well then that is that and I know the stuff she said earlier is bull crap. Basically she has to do what I would do in this situation to prove it to me.

I have to ask this... if she knows it is stupid... and everyone she knows tells her it is.. and she knows she is going to hate doing this... how can she still do it? And to add before they were dating she told her friends she thought he was real weird and creeped her out... what is going on?? Is it really just for some weird reason she is attracted to him and that's it? Does attraction really have that much power?

Who knows for sure Windshield... but you've got a good head on your shoulders... keep ignoring her until her calls get annoying, or until it seems like she is not going to give up. If you must, turn off your phone for a few days, and get some peace. Clear your head. Think about your next move.

Yeah I'm doing my best to keep myself busy. This weekend has been great, I have had more fun this weekend than I have in a long time. So keeping busy doing what I have been doing should not be hard at all. And she just called me again like 5 minutes ago..

If it starts to bother you man, really shut off your phone. Out of sight, (or hearing?) out of mind.

My girlfriend and I broke up because she was away at college and us being apart was too much for her dependence issues. So she got attached to someone else just because I wasn't around. When summer comes I know they will not be able to continue the relationship and she will come running back to me. I will be seeing her over spring break for the first time in like two months. Her family agrees that she is making a mistake but have not really done anything aside from a few talks. When I see her I wanted to talk to her mom about the situation, here is my question: should I tell her mom how I feel and ask her to help me out by trying to get it through her head that she needs to re-evaluate what she is doing. Or should I just talk to my ex telling her basically "this is it I'm setting you free if you love me you will come back" and that she can't have it both ways. I know the second option is the appropriate one but I feel like if I don't talk to her mom I might be missing a huge opportunity.
Wellit might help a lot to talkto her mam.. but its up to you whatever y think will work better talking to her or her mam!

Nah it doesn't bother me, the only thing it does is make me think "I wonder how many more times she will call before its the one where she actually realizes what she did". Calling me right now holy crap... Also, not to be rude... but why do people try to answer the question posted initially without reading through some of the thread...

I won't be surprised if we find your ex on this site starting a thread tittled "I broke up with my ex, why can't I get over him?". Or perhaps her new boytoy will start one saying "My gf calls her ex more then she calls me, what should I do?" Anyway I think your doing good by ignoring her calls. By saying less today you will gain more.

Thats exactly how its going she has texted me multiple times called me... texts consisted of..please answer ill do anything...please i want this to work...please please I really want this to work...I have not responded and I think she would have to send me something incredibly like whoa ok she is serious...but until then not talking to her. I'm doing the right thing by not believing the "ill do anything" "I want this to work" texts right? Even though to me it doesn't really matter because I don't want to be in a relationship with her until I believe she truly wants to be in one with me and makes me the type of priority I made her and even then I would only think about it. There is no way I would just take her back she would have a ton of work to do. And she had the nerve to say "please listen to my side of the story" and "give me the same respect I gave you at least".


Great quote for that side of the story crap.. "Save your side of the story, it's just so annoying"

Welp... we talked today and it will be the last time we ever talk again. Basically I told her I am completely happy with either outcome (us getting back together or never talking again). And she made it pretty clear she is only OK with 1 outcome(having me in her life).. but that is not my problem anymore. If she never calls me again I will be even more happy then if she does. And that is the end of the entire situation. I will of course let you guys know if and when she calls me again... as well as giving updates of other things going on in my life.

Thank you for all of your help and support in this situation... it would have been much more difficult had I never found this site!

That took a long time.. hung up at 12:42 or so she is calling me right now at 12:51. Why would she ever think I would answer? I am pissed off that she called me back. I almost texted her to be like why did you call back... but I erased it and closed my phone... I knew I would have regretted it. And obviously she isn't going to work on it.

Girls are crazy, but I am glad I realized it now instead of trailing after her for like three years of college having no fun... now at least I can live my life up through college then find a great WOMAN later in life who is not crazy... I hope.. or at least not as nutty as this girl.

We will be here for you any time to help you go through all the stages when you need us.

Emotions such as happiness and pain is unique to humans and we all go through it, so stay with us and we will help each other as well. Soon, you'll have the pleasure of sharing joy with us too - I promise.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)

Yeah I will definitely use my knowledge and experience I have gained from this situation to help others best I can. As of now I am happy and I know my life will be much better off. And until she does something, I'm done listening to her talk.