Two months ago I met this really nice guy and we instantly clicked. He's 5 years older and a really decent nice fella. We have mutual friends and everything else and its surprising we hadn't met earlier as he used to be engaged to a girl I knew 3 years ago.

We have been in contact none stop hanging out as mates and then the past 3 weeks we have started lseeping together, when together he acts like we are a couple and treats me like his girlfriend (even in public I get major pulic affection from him). And now I've found myself to be starting to get feelings for him, I don't thinmk he feels the same but either way I told him tonight that I'm starting to like him. His reply was "I thought that you would, every girl that gets close gets feelings and i like bein single, i like to cuddle and talk to someone about jsut about everything" And then I told him how much I felt like an idiot and he told me I'm not an idot etc etc.

I told him I don't want a relationship that I'm happy being single (which is true as me and my ex broke up last November after a year and I'm still not ready) But I emotionally feel like I cannot keep up our sexual meetings unless he has feelings for me. Am I being selfish?

Friends have told me you can tell by his body language and how he acts with me out in public that he does have feelings for me. And to tell the truth when your just F*** buddies with someone your not really all over them and acting like a couple out in public are you? He wakes me up with kisses and just fully respects me and I think that's why I found myself getting feeligns for him.

Also, him and his fiancé broke up 2-3 years ago as she cheated on him multiple times with his best mate. So I'm also thinking he's scared to get hurt again, I want to bring that up with him but I don't want it too look like I'm pushing him or anything like that.

Argh I feel like a now, sorry for making it such a long read I just didn't know how to put it in a nutshell. Sorrrry...

Darlin, you deserve a man that loves you as much as you love him. That lights up when you walk into the room. That celebrates you, not just tolerates you. A man that is as "in" the relationship as you are. Someone who has the same hopes and dreams for your relationship that you hope and dream.

This man has told you what he wants and what he is planning on giving.. if that is not what you want or want to give, then you shouldn't settle for second best.

You are not being selfish to want to be in a relationship with the guy that you're sleeping with. I'd advise you to decide what you want. If you want more, then decide that you're worth more. If he can't or won't give that to you, then sweetie, you need to find that man that will.

If you're OK with the casual sex and the non-commitment then you can keep going with this friendship. And that's OK! If that's what you want. He has told you that he can't give you more and given you the decision to continue or walk away.

But darlin, you deserve the best. You deserve your dreams. "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!" (Thoreau) Live to the fullest. If this man is not your "fullest," recognize that and decide that you are going to find that fullest.

Good luck, hon. :)

I don't think you're being selfish, but it seems that you're overthinking things a bit. You're not being selfish for thinking this way, but I wonder about your emotional security. Not saying that it's extremely bad, mind you! As HistorianChick has mentioned, what I'm referring to is that both of you need time to heal and regain trust for others. You may also putting too much importance into the act of sex.

Is it truly necessary to define where a friendship/relationship is headed and if it has any potential? What do the both of you really have to lose? Just enjoy what you have together. If it works out, all the better. If it stops being something either of you like, then stop. You're not selfish for indulging in your senses and emotions. And from what you have written, you seem very considerate about his feelings. Make sure he's considerate about yours, as a PERSON.

From the very rough sketches you've given of your situation, it doesn't seem like you have much to worry about.

How can you expect him to feel the same as you, and you are not even sure how you feel? On one hand, he treats you great in bed, out of bed, and in public. So what else is he supposed to feel, or do to meet your approval, Ah! I bet I know, a commitment to be exclusive, is what you want RIGHT? Tell him that, and see what he says, and if I'm wrong, then I really don't see what it really is your wanting from him, as he seems to have a lot of feelings already. What's a poor guy to do?