Well I will start with the good stuff, I met Kj when I was 15 & he was 18, we started going out 2 weeks later, he was super sweet & cute, we started living together around our 2 mo. By that I mean he was staying the night every night so we just decide he should move in. His mom & step dad HATE me & show it anytime they can. We have been thought many ups & downs.
I am demanding of people I am around due to the fact my father was a drug addicts so I don’t date people who do drugs or have a drinking problem (also runs in my family) I tell everyone that wants to have a chance with me they can't do drugs & it is fine if that isn’t what they want from a girlfriend, I know there are girls out there who don’t mind. I don’t deal with liars either, I don’t lie to anyone I love, if they can’t handle the truth maybe they shouldn’t ask the questions. I also don’t take from guys, I will put up with so much but no one will insult any of the people that raised me, many good people have been around me.
Well to get down to it I never really thought about getting married but Kj asked me when I was 15 to that I said no, when I was 17 to witch I said I will think about it but not right now, & when I was 18 I said yes but he freaked out the day before I was going to by my wedding dress, 3 mo before the wedding & cancelled, I look very stupid his family was mean, mine were disappointed. He asked again when I was 19, I said yes with hesitation, two days before our wedding he freaked out & panicked & said "I can't marry you, you are the kind of person that would kill her children & I can't marry someone that would kill her kids" I kicked him out of the house & here is the kicker, I was going to tell him that night that I was 4 mo pregnant. To add to that I have anxiety & panic disorders & I stress to the point of becoming ill. I had a miscarriage the day our wedding was suppose to be. I said that was it & I wouldn’t put up with this ever again. That was the Jan.
It is March now & an old friend (a guy) called me up because he kept hearing my name every where he went. That was Valentines Day. We are not going out, he just broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years (her idea) around the same time & he knows how I feel for the most part. Kj found out I was hangout with a guy (CF) & had a nervous brake down didn’t work for a week (not like him at all) crying, had to be taken to the hospital to calm down & flipped EVERYTHING he ever believed in, now he wants to get married, have kids, never leave my side, he says he will never forgive himself for what he has done & so on.
I didn’t trust anyone until him because everyone in my family & friends has left been some time or another (I have been in therapy for about 5 years because of abandonment issue & other things). Now every time my knew friend doesn’t call or has something he needs to do, I feel hurt, jealous, lonely, pissed, & I don’t want to. Kj wants back with me & I have no clue what the new guy is thinking, & even if he told me I would never believe him.

What do I do? get back with Kj who has let me down so many times before but we have always got back together or do I keep hanging out with CF even though I have no clue what he is thinking or anything, not even what I am thinking? I can’t bring myself to trust anyone.
Help!! :confused:

I'm sorry to hear that you been going through some ruff times. Should you get back with KJ? Absolutely not. This young man has serious commitment issues. I don't think he is all there, why would you ask a woman to marry you then run of like an idiot? You put yourself out there twice and he dones the worse thing you can do to a person with abandonment issues, he abandons you. Please move on.

With this abandonment issues of your you seem to develop an attachment issues. You want to hold on to people good or bad because you don't want them to leave. Which brings me to CF. From what you are telling me is that he just broke out with his girlfriend no even a month ago. Yet you are concerned that he does not call you and he is preoccupied with something else. You have grown attached to him.. but you state no reasons. He just came out of a relationship and you don't want to be the rebound. He needs time to heal and so do you.

You need time to center yourself. Figure out what you want in life. Once you are straight and over your pass relationships you can then move on to date again. You were 15 when you met this guy get out there and live you life. Trust me you will find someone that will love you the way you are and will never think about abandoning you.

Maybe the best course of action is to leave the guys alone for now, and work on your own issues, and find out who you are, without some freaked out guy, pressuring you. Its like getting fresh air for yourself, after being locked in a closet. Free yourself from all of this, and give yourself some much needed, and overdue attention. You don't need them for that. Love yourself for a change.