Hey anyone got adult children out there that could answer this question? My daughter was living with a man for eight years. She has always been a good person... never in any trouble with anyone. This guy abuses her, she tries to get some help from different services... no luck... tries a victims center... no luck. She moves out of the state and the guy still hounds her, day and night. She changes her phone number, he still is able to access it. She is 1400 miles away from the guy and is told that her uncle is in the hospital in critical condition. He is not going to make it. She flies back to NY for the funeral and such. This guy comes around her again. Out of despriration she hits the guy with her car while he was in his. She tells him to leave her alone. He is not hurt, she ends up with a broken nose. At the time of the incident she was found to be severely depressed and suicidal. She admitted everything to the police. She was jailed, and then she is the one who revieves felony convictions. He received nothing. The lawyer said that there was nothing that could be done because she admitted hitting the car. At the time she had an unloaded weapon in the car. Now her perfect record is going to mess up her life big time. She was working with children and has for the past 20 years. They tell her that she can no longer work with children, hospitals and such. I am wondering is there anything that can be done at all? They convinced her to take a plea bargain to stay out of prison and said she could not appeal.

There is nothing much that can be done if she gave up her right to an appeal when she took a plea bargain to stay out of prison. Driving around with a gun whether loaded or not was not a good idea on her part. I find it hard to believe that someone could change their phone number and have it found out. That's what unlisted phone numbers are all about. Did the daughter get a restraining order against the boyfriend? You didn't say. Essentially she made a string of bad choices and ended up on the wrong side of the law. Now she'll have to just go on with her life being a felon and making the best of it as it is essentially too late to do anything now that she has confessed to the police and took a plea bargain.

I do not deny that his actions of harassing her were wrong but she could have gotten help from agencies. She could have gotten a restraining order and have gotten a cell phone and not disclosed the phone number to him. When she flew to NY how did she get ahold of a gun? Why did she crash into his car? She was experiencing depression you said at the time. There are a lot of pieces to the story here that just don't seem to add up correctly. If she was such a good person before, why did she make these horribly wrong choices to get in a predicament like that? Her attorney did the best they could have under the circumstances keeping her out of prison though as she could have gotten some time for her actions.

Sorry but no, since she confessed and plead guilty, all her chances of appeal are mostly gone, And yes, many places will not, or can not hire a felon in their work.

And not to sound wrong on this, but she had choices the first day this man was abusive to leave him then, and she had many choices, how many times has she called the police against him, how many times has she pressed charges against him. Why did she confess, who not talk to an attorney first, or just refuse to say anything without an attorney.

And yes how did she get a gun in NY, NY is very strict on their gun laws, so this is a very serouis charge there. Why did they find the gun ?
And in the end, she could have and should have just drove away, but chose not to.

And to be honest she is very, ( very) lucky not to be in prison right now.
Had she be a basic poor person from the hood most likely she would be doing 10 years right now.

So now she has to pay the price for some very poor choices.

I know this is not what a parent wants to hear, but she had a choice to walk away long ago, or drive away then. She choose not to.

Hey anyone got adult children out there that could answer this question? My daughter was living with a man for eight years. She has always been a good person......never in any trouble with anyone. This guy abuses her, she tries to get some help from different services.....no luck......tries a victims center.....no luck. She moves out of the state and the guy still hounds her, day and night. She changes her phone number, he still is able to access it. She is 1400 miles away from the guy and is told that her uncle is in the hospital in critical condition. He is not going to make it. She flies back to NY for the funeral and such. This guy comes around her again. Out of despriration she hits the guy with her car while he was in his. She tells him to leave her alone. He is not hurt, she ends up with a broken nose. At the time of the incident she was found to be severly depressed and suicidal. She admitted everything to the police. She was jailed, and then she is the one who revieves felony convictions. He received nothing. The lawyer said that there was nothing that could be done because she admitted hitting the car. At the time she had an unloaded weapon in the car. Now her perfect record is going to mess up her life big time. She was working with children and has for the past 20 years. They tell her that she can no longer work with children, hospitals and such. I am wondering is there anything that can be done at all? They convinced her to take a plea bargain to stay out of prison and said she could not appeal.


Your daughter should have called the Police on this guy a long time ago instead of trying shelters and so forth - but I'm sure you know that now. Eight years of abuse is a very long time.

I'm a little confused that she flew back to NY for the funeral, this guy appeared, she ran into him with her car - or did she flew to NY, fly back "home" and then hit him? Otherwise it makes no sense to me.

I know she's your daughter and I'm sure it's not easy for you but a "good person" does NOT run into someone else's car with her car and is not driving around with an unloaded weapon. She's lucky she didn't kill him. Of course she was charged with a felony.

Her Attorney must have explained her options to her before she took the plea bargain because she had to accept the conditions in front of the Judge. At this point nothing can be done.

I will admit I do not know very much about this... BUT I do know that you can ALWAYS try to appeal... she already plead guilty though huh? You should not have plead on this case. A jury would have sympathized!! My suggestion : even now try to appeal. Try talking to a free-advice attorney. Her attorney was an idiot. Like most - he probably wanted over and done with - nice and easy paperwork.

Hey anyone got adult children out there that could answer this question? My daughter was living with a man for eight years. She has always been a good person......never in any trouble with anyone. This guy abuses her, she tries to get some help from different services.....no luck......tries a victims center.....no luck. She moves out of the state and the guy still hounds her, day and night. She changes her phone number, he still is able to access it. She is 1400 miles away from the guy and is told that her uncle is in the hospital in critical condition. He is not going to make it. She flies back to NY for the funeral and such. This guy comes around her again. Out of despriration she hits the guy with her car while he was in his. She tells him to leave her alone. He is not hurt, she ends up with a broken nose. At the time of the incident she was found to be severly depressed and suicidal. She admitted everything to the police. She was jailed, and then she is the one who revieves felony convictions. He received nothing. The lawyer said that there was nothing that could be done because she admitted hitting the car. At the time she had an unloaded weapon in the car. Now her perfect record is going to mess up her life big time. She was working with children and has for the past 20 years. They tell her that she can no longer work with children, hospitals and such. I am wondering is there anything that can be done at all? They convinced her to take a plea bargain to stay out of prison and said she could not appeal.
Thanks for all of the advice and support. Wanted to clear a few things. She did try shelters, social services, victims centers. The guy was controlling her every move. She told me that she had been raped more than once from this guy and a couple of his friends. I'll tell you being a father I wanted to do more than hit him. She never told anyone about the sexual abuse because he told her over and over again... it would just look like she was crazy. One final note... there was an order of protection that the DA gave this guy towards my daughter and the guy calls her up the night she was released and then called almost every night there after until she finally moved again, changed the phone number again and is always looking behind her. She never had these problems with any other person she has ever known. They told her after her arrest that she could press charges if she could prove anything. She chose to keep quiet because she admitted that she did wrong and has felt horrible since then. She will not do anything to hurt him in any way.

i will admit i do not know very much about this... BUT i do know that you can ALWAYS try to appeal... she already plead guilty though huh? you should not have plead on this case. a jury would have sympathized!!!! my suggestion : even now try to appeal. try talking to a free-advice attorney. her attorney was an idiot. like most - he probably wanted over and done with - nice and easy paperwork.


I think she may have gotten a better plea deal than she could have received following a trial - at any rate, didn't she have to agree to the plea bargain and a "no appeal" provision? No idiot Attorney here - it must have sounded better to your daughter than taking her chances. You can't force anyone into a plea deal and the Judge makes very, very sure you understand.

A jury might have sympathized about the past abuse but the trial would have been about the assault with the car and the possession of a weapon and I'm not sure the past abuse would be admissible. NYS is not very understanding about unlicensed weapons.

Thanks for all of the advice and support. Wanted to clear a few things. She did try shelters, social services, victims centers. The guy was controlling her every move. She told me that she had been raped more than once from this guy and a couple of his friends. I'll tell you being a father I wanted to do more than hit him. She never told anyone about the sexual abuse because he told her over and over again.....it would just look like she was crazy. One final note......there was an order of protection that the DA gave this guy towards my daughter and the guy calls her up the night she was released and then called almost every night there after until she finally moved again, changed the phone number again and is always looking behind her. She never had these problems with any other person she has ever known. They told her after her arrest that she could press charges if she could prove anything. She chose to keep quiet because she admitted that she did wrong and has felt horrible since then. She will not do anything to hurt him in any way.


But did she ever try the Police? Getting away is one thing; getting him put away is another.

Sounds like a tragic mess - maybe she's still afraid of him, maybe they have some tie, who knows, but the best she can do is stay far, far away from him. As long as she won't do anything to hurt him there's little anyone can do about that part of the problem. Legally there is nothing you as her father can do.