I put this in the "Dating" section however I am wondering if he has some sort of disorder and thought I would check here.

Ok, here goes. Met a guy online about 3 years ago. He was with someone at the time and we became very close. I told him after about 5 months I was developing feelings for him.
Anyway he left the gal and moved with another. He stayed with me as well. We are 5,000 miles away. He spent many many hours with me online including spending the nights with me on skype. Ok Just Saturday he got on a plane to come see me for 4 days. He was wonderful, sweet, kind until the last night. He is hard to talk to about anything serious. He is off and on with this other gal and says SHE is mental. So, he has told me though since he met her , he and I are JUST FRIENDS and no more. Yet he has bought me a new computer, sent me clothing that he wore (T-shirts), sent me jewelry, talk to me on cam, spent hours and hours (her full workday) online with me. Comes 5,000 miles to see me, takes me out won't let me pay for a thing, sleeps and same bed, cuddles etc and then I asked on the night before he left "so will i ever see you again?" innocent I thought, but no he went off, "We are ONLY friends, I love so and so, I am not attracted to you (now he looks at my pic every day , seen me on cam etc.) but said that wasn't physical, it was that we didn't click, but we did click and he knows this, if we hadn't he could not possibly spend as much time with me as he does, can he? he can't go a day without phoning me on skype, then says well it's because I have a temper, I do not, but he was giving me one... does anyone know anyone like this?? I don't think he is perpously playing with my emotions, I'm not even sure if this post is for dating or mental health.. all I know is this guy has treated me better over the internet and n person than anyone I have ever met in my life.. I have held out for someone like this for about 7 years, acts like he cares but would help me get a computer and when I lost my insurance for my heart meds and asked while he was out here, why he wouldn't help with that since it's my life, but he would buy a computer he just simply said I am not his responsiblity, well of course that is true, however i wasn't when he send me all the other things either. anyone know what might be up with him???

To update a little bit for this section, the gal he is on and off with now whom he states is "mental" (bi polar, he has decided, but has held the same job for 15 years unmedicated) and he wants to "help her" actually used the word fix.

Thanks! Sorry so lengthy

He feels absolutely safe committing to you because he is 5000 miles away.He knows he can say or do anything because you can't come knocking on his door that easily. Sorry, but LDRs don't work out satisfactorily for the obviously reasons and as I have said before regarding thesse arrangements, if you can't escape the red flags that keep popping up, then you are living in a dream world.

Find someone close by in your same city, in your same universe who you can count on, love be friends with and count your blessings this guy is 500l miles away. Sounds to me like his is the one with the mental problems and not the girl (in his own universe) he is involved with.

You have to move on from this guy.

I would have to wonder what is up with you for being interested in this person. He was getting with you and someone else when he was involved with someone else. Now he's taking what he wants and leaving the rest. He sounds like he has major problems but my question is: with all the red flags he's putting up, you're still interested in him. Why? Your question should be what is up with you to put up with this craziness and be involved with such a flake.

I would have to wonder what is up with you for being interested in this person. He was getting with you and someone else when he was involved with someone else. Now he's taking what he wants and leaving the rest. He sounds like he has major problems but my question is: with all the red flags he's putting up, you're still interested in him. Why? Your question should be what is up with you to put up with this craziness and be involved with such a flake.

For years I had codependant branded on my forehead. I could pick them in a room of 500, guess I still have that talent :( .I obstained from any type of relationship, sexual , love etc. for 7 years, I was not intending to meet anyone on this computer. He treated me like a little queen and he didn't want to do the cyber sex thing he just wanted to be there with me, and though I saw the red flags loud and clear I chose to ignore them. He went on, and still does , to be just charming. Anyway.. you ARE right.
I do not want to fix him, like he wants to fix her, but did want to know why someone would be this way.

Once you work on you and get rid of the codependency you won't have to worry about why someone could be this way because you won't attract these types and you will heed your red flags.

Don't worry about him, worry about you and how you could be this way and what you need to fix it/change it.

Thanks :)