I have a few threads on here about my story, but baiscally my gal left me last summer after 2 years with me to go back to her controlling abusive ex, this is the 3rd time back with him, first 2 were before me (she says he has changed).

Anyhow,she moved in with him after 2 months and got engaged, I love her very much and would love to be with her again, but I am working on moving on, and if by chance she comes back in my life someday, then I will deal with it.

I have been doing NC for a few months now. She works in my building but we never see each other, (thank God) My best friend Pat is friends with her and they still keep in touch.

Today she sends me a email saying "Good Morning, how are you ? would you mind it if I sent you a book to give to Pat ? I hope you have a nice day".

So she wants to send it to me interoffice mail, and I am Ok with that, but I talked to my friend here at work who was a couples counselor for many years who has given me good advice said I should not respond, and that I should ask Pat to email her and say I said its Ok to send the book using interoffice mail.

I think that's what I will do, but I feel bad not responding, but my friend says its my choice, but he knows how I feel about wanting her but thinks its best to do this because it will help on letting go and if its meant to be it will happen one day.

So did I do the right thing by not responding ?

That depends on how mature you are. If you are only going to allow her to do that, its OK to respond to her e-mail. But if you are going to be weak about it and allow her to open up a avenue to begin speaking to you. Then responding is not a good idea.

That depends on how mature you are. If you are only going to allow her to do that, its ok to respond to her e-mail. But if you are going to be weak about it and allow her to open up a avenue to begin speaking to you. Then responding is not a good idea.
I think you have a good point, but I think by not responding I can also be mature, but you are right, I could end up saying something that I could regret if I respond and she starts talking to me again.

This relationship with her is dead. I wouldn't think about getting back with her ever. The reason why is this. She dated you for 2 years and decided that she wants to go back to have ex abusive or not. The fact that she did this tells me that she was harboring feelings for her ex while she was with you and my book that is the same as cheating.

Move on... for every man there are 10 women. Odds of you finding a better woman are in your favor.

Your friend is right, why open a door your trying to close. That does not compute. Maintain No Contact, now that computes very well. And makes sense!

Yes let that woman be. Don't even talk to her anymore she is not honest to you right? If she was you would have never been together. Good luck I need a relationship counseler.