I don't know how to let go. He doesn't love me anymore. He says this often. We don't have any type of intimacy. There is no touching unless it is involuntary. I still have a massive amount of love for him, though sometimes I question if it is something other than love. We've been together for 8 years. He wants me to move out for a few months to see if we still want to be with each other. And he says that he thinks he will be happier when we have the separation, but that right now I am draining the life out of him.
He says that sex is impossible because he is not attracted to me. I am tall and he likes short stature women. I have gained weight and he says that although bigger women can be sexy, I am not one of those bigger types. Myself esteem is dangling by a microscopic thread and my heart is so broken. I burst into tears every time I think about us not being together. I want to repair our relationship not end it. How do I let go??

Please watch Why Did I Get Married? By Tyler Perry

I've actually just rented it, but I have yet to watch it.

Sorry you are in this place. As a man who stood by a woman (not married) for 7 years, I know how hard it is to step back and to feel like there is hope. My darkest days were pitch black.

You need to step away... not because he wants to but because you need to. He isn't chasing you. He isn't doing the work to make it work. And you can't do all the heavy lifting.

You need to live in the context of you being separated now. You need to understand your wanting the relationship back is normal... but its something you are going to have to fight. The comfort of a broken relationship is powerful, and the frustration of spending years on a person who turns on you is crushing.

I get how bad it can be. Let yourself hurt. Be mad. Be pi$$ed.

I make no promises, but I can tell you that you can get better if you demand it for yourself. "better" might be back with him in a mending relationship. Better might be without him.

If I didn't go through some terrible times, id have never met my wife. Went through some ugly times to get to a healthy place.

So sorry you are at this place. But you are here. Time to do some things for you... not for him... not for the relationship.

Keep writing here. Lots of good people you can talk to without concerns.