My mother is taking over my life! She checks my email, tries to log into my aim, listens in on my phone calls, and reads everything I write! Not to mention she looks for any inappropriate flaws in my wadrobe every day! She gives me the 5 times over then approves, if she finds one flaw she yells at me! I recently discovered something about myself of which I don't think I'll mention, (don't worry I'm NOT pregnant) and if she finds out she'll freak! How do I hide it? And how do I tell her she's going to far? Somebody help me!

How old are you?

You ask for help to hide it, yet you do not say what it is you need to hide (you only said that its NOT a pregnancy).

Make sure your email is something like Yahoo/Hotmail. Something that is a web based email. Make sure your computer is set up so it does not remember you password and prompts you each time for you to enter it. This will make it very hard for your mother to get into your Email and AIM.

Phone Calls. Try getting a cell phone or a private house line just to your room. Or, why even use phones? Use Skype and chat with your friends via mic over the net.

She tells you what to wear? That sucks. Put on a mother “appropriate” wardrobe when you leave for school and then change into what you wish to wear once you get out of the house.

Let me see, you left out pat search your friends that come visit, wire tap your phones and put a GPS homing device in your car. And motion detectors to tell if you try to sneak out at night. ( you should have talked to my boys growing up

Sounds like my teens talking about how I raised my kids.
And sounds like a loving mother who does not want you to make some stupid mistake.

I will assume you are in your teens, some parent are just over paranoid about their children,:eek: other are slightly over concerned:o and others do not care what their kids are doing as long as they are not bugging them.:mad: I on the other hand grew up doing every thing that I was not supposed to do, thus I try to keep a wary eye on my daughter. My daughter and I try to meet in the middle, on most things, yes. I lost the battle on the Queen of the undead look:mad: , but I won on the black lip stick:D for what it worth. My daughter and I communicate with one another. She will ask me what I am concerned about. We try to talk every thing out. I try real hard to see her side of it and she tries to see mine. Some of the times neither of us gets what the other is saying or wants and other times it works out real good. You need to know that you did not come with a hand book :confused: on how to raise you and every thing is a learning experience for you and your mother. I will not take sides because my daughter, almost 15 has proved me wrong more than once. Which is good because I learned something from it? It was trust. Meet your mother half way or almost half way. No matter how paranoid or strange she seems she loves you, once you get past these teen age years, you and you mother will be happy campers again.

That's a rough situation. I understand the intent of your mother, as that is the hand my father tried to rule me with. However, it only led to me having to be more clever. She needs to understand that life is about experience and lessons. Rather than trying to hide you from those lessons, she needs to be open and discuss them with you honestly as they happen.

Unfortunately, she will likely NEVER hear this if it is coming out of your mouth.

Do you have any older siblings? Aunts? Uncles? Someone that will talk to her and possibly get through to her?

We can sit here all day and trade war stories and teach you how to lie, cheat, and steal your way to a more private life but that is not being very helpful.

How are you when you discuss these things with your mother? If you come at her full of emotion, she is not going to be very attentative.

However, if you approach camly, as an adult, maybe you will have a chance to have a REAL heart-to-heart with her. Are you grandparents still living? How did they treat her as a teen? If you can, talk to them. Maybe they can help you to get through to her.

She needs to understand that while she doesn't not want any harm to come to you, you need to find your own way. Its inevitable.. it will happen. The only factor is whether your mother will be there to help you through it or if you will have to hide your life from her.

Set a date with her to have dinner. You cook. Let her know that you want this time to discuss some things in your life but to do it as an adult. Let her know before hand that if the discussion gets out of control (emotions rise and tempers flare) that you will get up and leave immediately. However, you have to watch yourself, too. If you don't like what you hear, you cannot fly off the handle to her. You have to keep your cool.

"When emotions are high, intelligence is low... " Remember that. You have to speak to her without letting your emotions get involved.

Trust and respect of your privacy is something that has to be earned and it is hard to earn and very easy to lose. If you lie one time then people can never be never be sure if you are telling the truth or not. Prove to you mother that you are trust worthy. She is trying her best to make you into a responsible adult, with all the tool you will need to face the world.

Well.. lets see does she trust you? Because if she doesn't then you might want to gain her trust because I no shell slow down on the whole invading thing.. I had the same problem in the summer

Well, there is something that you found out about yourself but if you do not share that with us, how can we really help you? There must be reasons your mother has questions and what to check up on you. Have you given her any reasons for this?

Joe

LadyofDarkness, I know how you feel, most of us have been through that when we were teenagers. As long as your underage and you live in your parents house you have to go by their rules. However, I think your mother is being too strict with you. Your mother shouldn't be listening to your phone calls or read your personal blog. However, I don't think getting a private line or changing your e-mail account is a good idea, if she finds out you could be grounded for life. What you should do is approach your mother, your motive is to talk, be heard, then listen. Assure her that you don't want to argue, let her know that you're a responsible young adult and you would like some privacy. Consider talking over some guidelines with her, perhaps she will give you some slack.

She admits that she has done something but will not share it. So it is something that is obvously serious and her mother has every right to be worried and have every right to check into things. If she is not going to be open about the things she is getting into then her mother has no choice to do what she is doing.

Know exactly how you feel dear. My parents did the same thing to me when I was a kid. Read my diary, searched my dressers, etc. and then would chew me out for what I had written in my personal diary. It was my business and it made me so angry. Im a parent now though. I still won't read my kids diary but I do understand the worry that your mom has for you. Try being honest with her. When you go out somewhere just check in with her to let her know that you are okay. She is just worried about you and that is all. Look at the crazy people out in this world that are going around harming children and children getting pregnant before they are ready and then tell me we have nothing to worry about.

OK, well I kind of HAD to lie, she is afraid of the supernatural and I found out I was a sanguinarius, (vampire), that kind of needs to be hidden!

OK, well I kind of HAD to lie, she is afraid of the supernatural and I found out I was a sanguinarius, (vampire), that kind of needs to be hidden! I mean if she found out she'd freak! She'd fear her own daughter! Trust me, she would, in her own little way, she would! I was scared you guys would reject me, and think I was nuts, which you probably do now!

OK, well I kind of HAD to lie, she is afraid of the supernatural and I found out I was a sanguinarius, (vampire), that kind of needs to be hidden! I mean she's frightened by the supernatural, so she'd be afraid of her own daughter! And trust me! She would, I know her. I thought if I told you, you guys would reject me and think I was nuts which you probably do now, please don't!

OK, well I kind of HAD to lie, she is afraid of the supernatural and I found out I was a sanguinarius, (vampire), that kind of needs to be hidden! My mom is totally petrified by the supernatural, therefore she'd be afraid of her won daughter, trust me, I know her, she would. I thought if I told you guys you'd reject me and think I was nuts. Please don't think I'm nuts now!

Oops! I thought it wouldn't post, sorry! Hehe... computers hate me...

Well, that's an interesting twist... tell me, blood or psy?

How did you know what it was? And I said sang, so, blood but I'm actually both, sangpsi I guess you could say, psi base, mostly sang, couldn't get energy, so I started to crave blood, now could you help me here? I'm having a major break down!

How do you know that you are and how do you even know what you are talking about? (I don't mean that rudely in any way so please don't take it that way lol)

Haematomania (psychological craving for blood) & haematophilia (sexual or erotic craving for blood) are often misinterpreted as vamipyrism, which is an actual physical need for blood.

Common depression or even a narcissistic personality disorder can lead to a belief that one is a psy-vampire

Usually, unless you are born into it, those who truly are, are not aware of that they are until they have been met.

Sure, you keep telling yourself that. That's why I didn't say it at first. Because people misinterpret things, and insult me! Ya, I'm certain of this, trust me. Not to mention, if they don't believe they will, well, do this. And do you know how humiliating that is? Yeah! Pretty darn humiliating! So thanks a lot hot shot! You didn't mean it rudley, but it came out that way, and it hurt! Think out your words before you say them next time please, so either agree/believe me, or please do not say anything else

LadyofDarkness, now that you've told us something about yourself, I do not blame your mother for inferring in your life. Sweetie, acting like a vampire and craving blood is not normal, therefore, your mother has the right to check up on you. Please do not drink blood because you can get infected with AIDS and other diseases. Your young and this is just a fade your going through, but I hope you don't take this vampire thing too far. I don't have kids yet, but if I had a daughter that was into vampirism and drinking blood, I would take her to get counseling right away.

And I'm NOT depressed. I'm goth! And I'm not narcissistic either! I'm a goody2shoes! Uh-huh! Yeah!

I'm leaving this stupid thing, you guys are no help at all! *goes to sob in corner*

Take it how you must, I still meant it with the utmost respect. If you couldn't tell, I know a little bit about this and I also know that many "goth" kids start to believe that they are vampires. (no I am not one and never was)

Let me tell you that real sang or psi vamp would be pretty pissed at your reaction and wouldn't likely believe a word you are saying.

I, on the other hand, am trying ot be helpful. Im not saying that you Aren't a vampire. I simply want to know how to came to find out. Is it in your family? Have you been met?

There are many things that lead people to believe that they are, when it really may not be the case.

And TRUST THIS... if you really Aren't... you Don't WANT TO BE. It is a curse... its not a better way of life.

Hun, take it from a REAL vamp, I've been a vamp for 13 years, (I'm 26) your mother will just keep worrying about stuff like this, tell her you're writing a book, or reading one, and was researching it. Don't listen to these baffoons, they know squat about being a vamp, and I believe that you're a vamp, unlike them, if you are, then you'll know, and no need wasting breath on them! Don't get mad!

I LOVE YOU! *hugs* Thank you!

I'm leaving this stupid thing, you guys are no help at all! *goes to sob in corner*


My daughter is Goth and hate to be called Goth, she is not a Vampire, and you can not be Goth and goody 2 shoes, totally different end of the spectrum. My daughter has read this and said that you being what you are would not label yourself, people walk up to her and say hey are you Goth and she says no I am (NAME) how are you. I am thinking the term EMO fits better. But it is not my place to judge you, I am upset because I answered you question under false pretenses

:p this has to be the weirdest thread I have read in the short time I've been using this site!
Wouldn't any girl's mom worry about vampirism in the family?? ;)
I have to say, where I'm from, there isn't much mention of vampires at all... perhaps they're more secretive this side of the world... god knows its dark enough?
On a serious note - cut your mom a bit of slack.
This is what you said to someone on the thread, who you have never even met:

Think out your words before you say them next time please, so either agree/believe me, or please do not say anything else

So we ALL have to agree with or believe you? Don't you think you're going to fall out with people thinking that everyone must agree with you! What's the point of asking for peoples opinions then?
Hope you find the answers you're looking for though.

I will bet she got a tat or a piercing

i will bet she got a tat or a piercing

What was does that mean, I have a tattoo and my pierced, you are stereo typing. I am 39 with a child, married 17 years, run a animal rescue, and worked the same job for 15 years.

Then what are you worried about your mom for

then what are you worried about your mom for

I am not I just answered her question twice, my mother and I get along fine and my daughter and I get along fine. I just thought you were stero typing lady of darkness be cause she said she was Goth and a Vamp.

I don't care if they are goth or vamp
Or both
Whatever floats there boat
But from the sounds of it lady of darkness is scared to tell her mom and she probably needs to or it will cause a rift between them

I just want to know how old lady of darkness is

Oh my goodness you poor girl, to live in a family where your mother cares enough about you that she is willing to do anything to keep you safe. I just don't understand how she can be so selfish as to want to be involved so much in your life instead of ignoring you and kicking your butt out of the house. How can she provide you with a nice house, a phone to make phone calls to your friends, I'm assuming that she feeds you too. Oh my goodness what will you ever do. How unfortunate for you!

Take stock of your life and think to yourself... what would I do if I were the mother and start being a better daughter. Your mother loves you silly girl.

Peace,
Celticmist

I know ladyofdarkness personally, and she does NOT have a tat, she has her ears pierced in which she wears stylish earrings, she watches the style channel and follows the latest trends, her mother is her best friend, (I'm next) though it may not sound like it, she was trying to hide those facts. She is indeed goth, and goody2shoes, it's quite funny, and you wouldn't think it's possible right? Think again! And she's only emo when something bad happened. She's a fun person to be around, and lovable. Her mother and her have trust, but her mother just feels she has certain rights, because she's 56, and her daughter is 13, her mother thinks she knows more.

And, not to mention, she's kind of screwed up in the head because well, her parents got divorced before she was born, she didn't even know her father existed before she was 10 years old, he hasn't even sent her an email saying hi, in at least 6 months, her mother is never around, but when she is, she's, I quote, "pestering me" which is only half true I admit, her mother can get annoying, and she is over protective, but they love each other. They have fun too, for example, instead of yelling at each other when they get mad, LadyofDarkness drops her drawers and gives her the sun and moon, then they laugh about it instead of fighting. In the mornings when her mother has just gotten out of the shower (I witnessed this first hand) they make jokes, singing either, the old gray mare, or do your boobs hang low? please take this into consideration, and thank you for your time.

Thanks for clearing that up I'm still stuck on the sangria thing and... what the hell was the question anyway?:cool: :eek: :confused:

Talaniman long post always get lost after 1st or 2nd page of threads pmpl, I'm pleased I'm not the only one lost.

You should watch the soaps in the UK, they have got a young Goth couple lmfao.

Talaniman long post always get lost after 1st or 2nd page of threads pmpl, I'm pleased im not the only one lost.

You should watch the soaps in the UK, they have got a young Goth couple lmfao.
All right I admit I ain't that smart but what the heck is"lmfao"?:cool: :confused:

This thread is getting stranger each day. I think everyone has given some great answers, but let's not emphasize on it any further because she's just not going to take our advice. If this 13 year old child wants to be a vampire, let her be. Sometimes children need to live and learn. If anything happens to her, I'm sure her mother will be there for her.

I know ladyofdarkness personally, and she does NOT have a tat, she has her ears pierced in which she wears stylish earrings, she watches the style channel and follows the latest trends, her mother is her best friend, (I'm next) though it may not sound like it, she was trying to hide those facts. She is indeed goth, and goody2shoes, it's quite funny, and you wouldn't think it's possible right? Think again! And she's only emo when something bad happened. She's a fun person to be around, and lovable. Her mother and her have trust, but her mother just feels she has certain rights, because she's 56, and her daughter is 13, her mother thinks she knows more.


How can one be goth and follow the latest trends at the same time. I'm not arguing the goodytwoshoes point but goth is not about trends or what's popular.

Hi after reading your ? Just thought id say I'm the mother of a 15 yr old emo daughter myself ,her moods go from one extreme to the other and would just like to say that its an important part of life to live and learn .my mother allowed me and all 3 other siblings to make our own way in life and that she insisted that included making our own mistakes and learning from them, how else do we progress into young strong willed adults? My daughter can do what she likes within reason [as long as she does not neglect her school work]and if that includes wearing black lipstick and being a goth or a vampire or whatever takes her fancy I let her carry on and when she needs me I'm there with all the love and support I can offer her. We were all teenagers once and your mum needs to learn to give a certain amount of trust and respect otherwise she will not get it in return all teenagers grow up and all their fads are normally left behind them, along with the embarrassing pics that will make them cringe in years to come lol ,so come on mum of lady of darkness you were young once let her get on with it and be there when she needs you That's WHAT BEING A MUM IS ALL ABOUT.

my mother is taking over my life! she checks my email, tries to log into my aim, listens in on my phone calls, and reads everything I write! not to mention she looks for any inappropriate flaws in my wadrobe every day! she gives me the 5 times over then approves, if she finds one flaw she yells at me! I recently discovered something about myself of which I don't think I'll mention, (don't worry I'm NOT pregnant) and if she finds out she'll freak! how do I hide it? and how do I tell her she's going to far?! somebody help me!
I know exactly how you feel my dad does the same thing! He reads everything from my diary, text, myspace, everything he can get his hands on. I just learned to prove him wrong before he can do to me. They only do it cause they feel it's their job as a parent. All you have to do is tell them its hurting you inside.

I know exactly how you feel my dad does the exact same thing! He reads everything from my diary, text, myspace, everything he can get his hands on. I just learned to prove him wrong before he can do to me. They only do it cause they feel its their job as a parent. All you have to do is tell them its hurting you inside.
You are right that parents only do it cause they feel it's their job as a parent but also cause they love and want to protect their children but still this is no excuse for invasion of privacy, children need their secrets too and this is going to far in my book , b-luv you need to speak with your dad and explain that you are entitled to a certain amount of privacy yourself and that anything you need him to know you will tell him yourself,and also you kids have to learn to go to your parents if you have problems and speak to them 9 times out of 10 parents can help you ,REMEMBER THEY HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE IT SO THEY KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH AND EVAN THOUGH THEY Won't ALWAYS HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS THEY WILL BE THERE AT THE READY WITH THE CUDDLES AND COMPASSION TO HELP YOU THROUGH,REMEMBER ALL PARENTS GET DISSAPOINTED AND ANGRY AT TIMES BUT THIS ONLY LASTS A FEW MINUITES ONCE THEY KNOW THEIR KIDS NEED THEM.

Who said parents are perfect? Who said kids are?

Who said parents are perfect? Who said kids are?
That's exactly the point I am trying to get across no 1 is perfect we all live and learn as we make our way through life.

Looks like your mum doesn't have enough confidence, so you ened to start building up the confidence part. She should be able to trusty you, so behave in a away to earn that trust.
She herself will stop wanting to pry into your emails and you can change the passwords.
Also try and takeup some assertiveness class somewhere, some toasmasters club what anyone says or does or yells should not affect you.
Just know that she might be just too worried about you and it is you who has to ensure that you don't do something to cause such a reaction.
This will take some time to happen.. but you have to work on it.