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View Full Version : Misrabel. Feel useless and not going any where


justice213
Feb 25, 2008, 02:28 PM
I just feel like there's no point of me living sometimes. I feel like everything I have is what you don't want. I haven't had a girlfriend in awhile I feel ugly worthless fat and dumb. I been going to the gym for probably about 2 months go maybe 5-6 times a week always pump it hard do cardio and sometimes miss it depending on how I feel but haven't seen any results that I really notice.. I'm 5.7 5 8 180 pounds so yeah haven't lost any I don't think my mom says I got more defetion but doesn't do it for me I want to lose like 30 pounds be skiny lose my chubby cheeks.. I feel ugly and lonleny and won't get anyone. I've been eating healthy fruits drinking water. I've even stopped drinkg alcohol I haven't drank in like 6 months and people say once they stopped drinking they lose leik 10 pouinds.. I haven't lost any.. have some portien powder I been talking but thinking maybe its making me fat but everyone says its good so I don't know what happeend I was skinny all the way through school than grade 12 hit I got stocky I've had chubby cheeks pretty much my whole life I wanan get ride of them I think I makes me look ugly. I can't sleep at night because I'm always thinking stuff like what's the point.. I have eveything you don't want short fat ugly dumb where am I going in life.your mind is your worst enemy.

Scleros
Feb 25, 2008, 03:42 PM
Man I envy you! I haven't had a girlfriend in never, am 5' 9" 210 lbs, and so shy I wouldn't even consider joining a gym.

You're right about one thing - your mind is your worst enemy. As far as your "flaws" go:
1. Fat - This can be fixed. May take alot of work if you randomly experiment concocting your own weight loss program. A professional nutritionist may help, too. And at some point you have to except your genes.

2. Ugly - This also can be fixed. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you're not going to be pretty to everyone. Depressed people are particularly unattractive because they don't smile alot and have negative attitudes about everything - "why me!", etc. When I get depressed, I like to read AskMeHelpDesk posts because I can always find someone who's life is way worse than mine. You could also seek professional counseling. The point of life is finding a point.

3. Dumb - This too can be fixed. And, I doubt you're really all that dumb. You managed to turn your computer on, navigate to this site, and write a post in the correct forum. My parents can't do this. Go take a class at the community college. This has a couple benefits: you might learn something and thus be smarter, it will distract you from your misery, and you might meet a hot babe who needs help with her homework.

Happiness is a choice. Right now you are choosing to be unhappy. A perfect life isn't going to just fall into your lap like in the movies. Takes work and willingness to change, usually more than originally expected. Get off your butt and live.

justice213
Feb 25, 2008, 04:30 PM
Yeah but my marks were never good enough so I can't even take a class at community colleage.. my only hope is hard labour or trades.. and about the genes... all my brothers don't have the chubby cheeks but my dad does just because he is older now and gained weight over the years I always get bothered and say I look like him so much he's 47 I'm 20 I don't wanan look like an over weight 40 yr old haha I wanan see my jaw line and to me the fat face is ugly and just bothers me.. thanks for the help

Scottish2008
Feb 26, 2008, 07:58 AM
Have you considered running. Running well help lose weight all over your body. Swimming as well. Running will burn more fat cells then just working out. Working out will help loss weight in areas you are working on. Try running 3 to 4 times a week and drink plenty of water. Try to eat frozen fruit it will help as well. If you find it hard to run start with speed walking and gradually progress to running. Remember to stretch your muscles when you worm them up. Try running in one spot for 3 to five minuets before stretching. Keep in mind you will need good running shoes to handle the impact of the surface your running on. I hope this helps you out. Keep with it and set goals.

Scleros
Feb 26, 2008, 03:50 PM
yeh but my marks were never good enough... my only hope is hard labour or trades..

I flunked out of college. I've taken welding, auto body repair I & II, electric motor control, framing (carpentry), and stone masonry classes at community college and technical centers. At no point did they ask about grades. Just saying... Again, may take extra work to get a job if that's what you want and you don't complete a full program, but its not impossible.

jennyrene
Feb 26, 2008, 04:15 PM
Why does this world revolve around vanity?I think it is smart to be healthy. So running is an important thing. My husband goes to a site that helps him with his weight tranning, you could look one up.some people that are so handsome can be so ugly and I've learned we all have great things about us that others don't. But you should feel good about yourself. Get tough about, be determined and diligent eveyday. I'm just stubborn that way. I hope when your buff and fit and all of the girls are chasing you, you'll come back and let us know. Good luck

justice213
Feb 26, 2008, 11:17 PM
Yeah ill let you know... if it happens lol.. well I have been running I have this book on working out it says to work out for an hour or so.. than run because by that time your just burning fat.. today I was at gym for 3 hours around there.. I played basketball with a friend for 20 30 minutes.. is that a good warm out I awlays think it is because you use lots of your body but than again I could be wrong.. than I worked out for an hour. After I was done pumpin it I went on the tread mill for 30 minutes running and burned 310 calories.. is that good... I've been going to the gym for awhile and just I don't know seems that nothing has changed I've proplbably been going for 2 months I just see no change and it just shadders me more like there is no hope.. I was working out before and getting big but had to stop due to engery and surgey.. not from working out though.. but even than I was just getting bigger I wanan be defined. Lots of my friends say it won't happen because that's just the way I am. That also just shuts me down and think there's no hope.. I tell my mom I want to lose my chubby cheeks she says that won't happen either. It either shuts my confidence down and makes me have no hope or makes me mad and wants to show them I can. But if she's saying I can't get rid of my chubby cheeks than do you think I won't.. thx again for the help

Scottish2008
Feb 27, 2008, 05:23 AM
yeh ill let u know... if it happens lol.. well i have been runnin i have this book on workin out it says to work out for an hour or so ..than run because by that time ur just burnin fat.. today i was at gym for 3 hours around there.. i played basketball with a friend for 20 30 mins.. is that a good warm out i awlays think it is because u use lots of ur body but than again i could be wrong.. than i worked out for an hour. after i was done pumpin it i went on the tread mill for 30 mins runnin and burned 310 calories..is that good... ive been goin to the gym for awhile and just i dunno seems that nothing has changed ive proplbably been goin for 2 months i just see no change and it just shadders me more like there is no hope..i was workin out before and gettin big but had to stop due to engery and surgey.. not from workin out though.. but even than i was just gettin bigger i wanan be defined. lots of my friends say it wont happen because thats just the way i am. that also just shuts me down and think theres no hope.. i tell my mom i wanna lose my chubby cheeks she says that wont happen either. it either shuts my confidence down and makes me have no hope or makes me mad and wants to show them i can. but if shes sayin i can't get rid of my chubby cheeks than do u think i wont..thx again for the help
If you run more often you will lose your chubby cheeks. I work out every day and run as well. It's just a faze your going through. Keep up with what you are doing. The change is happening but very minuet. It will take time. I cam make you a work out training program to help you out if need be but it is hard. I hope you get back to us on this matter. Keep doing what you are doing.

jennyrene
Feb 27, 2008, 12:15 PM
yeh ill let u know... if it happens lol.. well i have been runnin i have this book on working out it says to work out for an hour or so ..than run because by that time ur just burning fat.. today i was at gym for 3 hours around there.. i played basketball with a friend for 20 30 mins.. is that a good warm out i always think it is because u use lots of ur body but than again i could be wrong.. than i worked out for an hour. after i was done pumpin it i went on the tread mill for 30 mins running and burned 310 calories..is that good... Ive been going to the gym for awhile and just i dunno seems that nothing has changed Ive propbably been going for 2 months i just see no change and it just shadders me more like there is no hope..i was working out before and getting big but had to stop due to energy and surgery.. not from working out though.. but even than i was just getting bigger i wanna be defined. lots of my friends say it wont happen because that's just the way i am. that also just shuts me down and think there's no hope.. i tell my mom i wanna lose my chubby cheeks she says that wont happen either. it either shuts my confidence down and makes me have no hope or makes me mad and wants to show them i can. but if shes sayin i can't get rid of my chubby cheeks than do u think i wont..thx again for the help


Sometimes we should listen to our friends and others I'm not so sure.I was so proud of Jack Osbourn. Wow! Did you see him. Talk about chubby cheeks and a baby face. Because he got determined he more than met his goal. We all change and grow.try to pour yourself into success stories. DO NOT LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING!! And nothing feels better than proving people wrong in bettering yourself.

justice213
Feb 27, 2008, 06:15 PM
Yeah I always get bothered and people say I look like jack osbourne:(

justice213
Feb 27, 2008, 06:17 PM
Well that would be sweet to make a program but if it takes too much of your time it is all good there's no need for you to.. ill just follow my book if I can.. thanks again for you help.. o and is playing basketball a good warm up?

Scottish2008
Feb 29, 2008, 07:54 AM
well that would be sweet to make a program but if it takes to much of ur time it is all good theres no need for u to.. ill just follow my book if i can.. thx again for u help.. o and is playin basketball a good warm up?
Like any sport you should always warm up. I would not consider playing baseball a warm up. You should always warm up your muscles every time before weight lifting and sports. Warming up is to prevent injuries it also prepares your body physically and mentally.

Have a look at these links:
Warm up and Cool down (http://www.brianmac.co.uk/warmup.htm)

Warm Up Exercises (http://www.pponline.co.uk/encyc/warm-up-exercises.html)

Have a read over them. You will find what you may be looking for.

jennyrene
Feb 29, 2008, 08:38 AM
yeh i always get bothered and people say i look like jack osbourne:(


Don't let it bother you to look like him. Look at his accomplishments. You must have passion in what your doing for it to fully succeed

lovelesspa
Mar 2, 2008, 04:13 PM
Try different kinds of work outs, weight lifting/resistance training, running or walking 1 mile a night will shouw you some great results, but it takes time, don't give up yet. Vary the exercise every couple of days, don't exercise in the same order every time, do more reps, or more sets, rest periods, take longer rest, or shorter, but vary everything. How are the portions of foods your eating, they need to be a lot smaller, like 3 oz of protein, with fruit and veggies, make sure your drinking lots of water especially when your working out. If you eat fruits before you exercise it will boost your metabolism and burn these calories for several hours after exercise.
You need to motivate yourself in order to lose weight, Just think about the future,
Your going to look better, when you lose some weight,
Your body will feel better
Less stress on your heart and blood pressure
Your will regain your confidence
You'll gain energy, and feel good abour yourself
Once you start losing weight, people will notice and you'll get compliments, and this will motivate you!
Don't worry about anything else right now, Just focus on what you want to asccomplish, it just takes a little time, but you can do this!

justice213
Mar 4, 2008, 10:53 PM
Yeah I've been eating good and Healthy.. I always get munchies at night though haha that I can't control sometimes I can sometimes I can't but id eat fruit or veggies something good for you when I cant. But the rule is to not eat after 7 or 8... so is this still considered bad for me and breaking the rule.. also I know how your suppose to work out before meal or 3 hours after you work out.. lately I haven been going at like 5 or 4 before supper because I work.. and end up skippin dinner coming home at 7 or 8 and eating it than.. is this bad too I'm thinking it is. I'm going to change my diet to eating dinner at 5 and going to gym at 9 or 8 because school isn't that hard anymore. Is this better? Also I been working out for an hour that running for 30 40 minutes.. today I worked out for an hour than went on tread mill and did intervals id run hard on 8.5 setting for 1 min than the next min I ran on 5.9 setting (by the way max setting is 10) and I continued doing this for 30 minutes.by 20 minutes I burned 230 calories is that good.I than came home and eat dinner but I feel like that's just giving me the calories I just burned back.. is this true.. I had pasta and bread with mushrooms.also I had water the hole time I was working out with 1 min rests between sets I think. And I bring my protein drink and I drink it right after work out.. so main question is HOW AM I Doing hahaha...

Thank you everyone for helping out it is a great feeling to know someone bothers to read my posts and help me out:)

Scottish2008
Mar 5, 2008, 05:23 AM
yeh ive been eating good and Healthy .. i always get munchies at night though haha that i can't control sometimes i can sometimes i can't but id eat fruit or veggies something good for u when i cant. but the rule is to not eat after 7 or 8... so is this still considered bad for me and breaking the rule.. also i know how ur suppose to work out before meal or 3 hours after u work out.. lately i haven been goin at like 5 or 4 before supper because i work.. and end up skippin dinner comin home at 7 or 8 and eating it than.. is this bad too im thinkin it is. im goin to change my diet to eating dinner at 5 and goin to gym at 9 or 8 because school isnt that hard anymore. is this better? also i been workin out for an hour that runnin for 30 40 mins.. today i worked out for an hour than went on tread mill and did intervals id run hard on 8.5 setting for 1 min than the next min i ran on 5.9 setting (by the way max setting is 10) and i continued doin this for 30 mins.by 20 mins i burned 230 calories is that good.i than came home and eat dinner but i feel like thats just givin me the calories i just burned back.. is this true.. i had pasta and bread with mushrooms.also i had water the hole time i was workin out with 1 min rests between sets i think. and i bring my protein drink and i drink it right after work out..so main question is HOW AM I DOIN hahaha...

thank you everyone for helping out it is a great feeling to know someone bothers to read my posts and help me out:)
You are doing great. You should work out about an hour after your last meal. This will give to motivation to lose those calories you have taken in on a run of the day. You are doing fine. I would recommend that you use a track rather a tread mill. By running or jogging on your own will push you to run or jog fast when you less expect it. Great job though I might add. Keep with it and keep us posted. Cheers to you

justice213
Mar 5, 2008, 11:19 PM
Yeah but if I work out hour after I eat that just burns the calories I just took in... I want to burn that plus more I thought only way to losing weight is to burn calories that are stored in your body... and why do they say the best time to run/work out is in the mournin... because your stomach is empty and there's no calories so you burn calories that were stored in your body aka fat... also what do I do about the eatting I night factor I know its bad to eat after 7 or 8... ALSO one more thing hahaha. My friend I go to the gym with is taking this drink I can't rmemeber what it is called but it gives him eneger he says.. before the work out to give him a better pump it isn't creatine though I think creainte bad and is a mind thing studys show it doesn't do much, I read something on 2 guys they testing on one had creatine other had just a powder that was nothing I can't rmeember what it was but in the end it was all a mind thing and that they both thought they on creatine but both got same results.. what I'm asking is does this stuff actraulyl works says it gives him more engery, stamani and that it actrualy works. I asked if there's caffine in it he said yeah a little . I think it just a caffien jolt.. I stay away from caffeine its bad.. would this harm me or even help me if I take this. I'm just sticking with fruit before working out for engery and I've been having great works out so not like I have lack of engery I'm just curious...

Thank you again.. ill post the name of that drink next time.. thank you

lovelesspa
Mar 6, 2008, 01:33 PM
Look your working hard and that's great but in the am when you work out you should eat before, you went all night with no nutrition so at least have some lowfat milk, yogurt or some fruit, it's a lot better for your workout and start your metabolism off. But the advice that Scottish2008 gave you is correct eat first when you start exercising. A lot of those energy drinks have lots of caffine or sugra check what's in it first, the best thing you can drink is water, make it ice cold, it actually will aid you in burning more calories during your workout, your body has to warm it and that takes energy, Snack on a small box of raisins, there are great for you and easy to carry. But keep up the good work!

Scottish2008
Mar 7, 2008, 04:57 AM
Look your working hard and that's great but in the am when you work out you should eat before, you went all night with no nutrition so at least have some lowfat milk, yogurt or some fruit, it's alot better for your workout and start your metabolism off. But the advice that Scottish2008 gave you is correct eat first when you start exercising. Alot of those energy drinks have lots of caffine or sugra check what's in it first, the best thing you can drink is water, make it ice cold, it actually will aid you in burning more calories during your workout, your body has to warm it and that takes energy, Snack on a small box of raisins, there are great for you and easy to carry. But keep up the good work!
I totally agree. You have allot of advise for what you need to do to help you out. Follow it for a few weeks then get back to us. I am very impressed with your enthusiasm. Just keep up with what you are doing and you should be fine. Again get back to us in a few weeks. Remember you get what you put into it. You sound entrusted. So make it happen. Cheers to you.

justice213
Mar 13, 2008, 10:55 PM
I haven't ran this much this week so I feeling pretty down and fat because of it. I feel like going on steroids or something to make me defined hahaha but that would just make me stocker and won't help me with becoming skinner and defined... u think I should lay off the protein powder till I've lost the weight and than go back on.. I haven't been eating much and that has been helping me get right amount of protein. I don't know if I've asked about that yet sorry if I have and this I secound time.. my protein powder has little fat in it but I'm wonder if it be smarter to have it once I've lost a lot of weight

Scottish2008
Mar 14, 2008, 04:04 AM
i havent ran this much this week so i feeling pretty down and fat because of it. i feel like goin on steriods or something to make me defined hahaha but that would just make me stocker and wont help me with becoming skinner and defined... u think i should lay off the protien powder till ive lost the weight and than go back on.. i havent been eatin much and that has been helping me get right amount of protien. i dunno if ive asked about that yet sorry if i have and this i secound time.. my protien powder has little fat in it but im wonder if it be smarter to have it once ive lost alot of weight
That's a good point. Stay away from the protein powder. Work on losing weight first. So what type of activities are you doing to loose weight? As well what is your diet? Post this to your thread and we can pick it apart for you and help you out. It's great to see you very concern about the issue. I don't know if you intended it to be a joke about the steroids but it would be beneficial if you didn't. Anyway please get back to us.

lovelesspa
Mar 14, 2008, 06:20 PM
You don't need steroids, and as far as the protein powder, you can lay off that for the time being, but the reason you may be feeling down is because you say your not eating much, or right!
This is absoutely the wrong thing to do it you want to lose weight and are trying to get into a workout program. You need to eat a minimum of 1,000--1200 calories or you rish your body going into starvation mode, which means your body starts hoarding every calorie, when your intake is too low it slows up your metabolism and makes it that much harder to lose weight. It only takes small reductions in your caloric intake, like reduce your calories by 10-15%, this will help you protect lean muscles and it won't slow up your metabolism. The biggest tip I have is, Eat Breakfast--with 8 oz. of water and some complex carbs, lettuce, cabbage, sprouts, cukes, broccoli, tomatoes, onions,( veggies), oat bran bread, oatmeal, brown rice, multigrain bread, yogurt, skim milk, grapes, apples, pears, strawberries, oranges, potatoes, lentils, chickpeas. Just a couple of examples, Your metabolism increases every time you eat, smaller meals, more frequently throughout the day is the key to making your metabolism work for you. Eat every 4-5 hours, eat protein with every meal, 3 oz. of lean meats, fish skinless chicken, turkey, along with veggies, and some fruit. Believe it or not, if you eat your going to feel better and it will help you feel motivation enough to work out. So don't give up now!

justice213
Mar 15, 2008, 10:12 PM
Yeah I'm jkin on the steroids okay love lesspa so your saying to take the protein powder? And just to let you guys know id wake up have vitamins maybe an orage make some eggs or just have some ceral with grape fruit and with that my protein drink with milk 1 percent or water is this not the best idea to lose weight adding the protein drink or is this good because I'm getting the right amount of protein. I ususaly have my protein drink right when I wake up with my breakfest and than right after I work out so maybe 1 2 times a day. In my protein ill have milk banna yourgot and blend. Should I stop with this drink? Thanks again

justice213
Apr 1, 2008, 09:09 PM
I still feel so ugly though. Like I'm feeling unconfident that I won't lose my fat or the fat in my face... I want to lose my cheeks so bad but I haven't seen them fading. People have said they seen results in my stomach but just like close friends trying to cheer me up that's what I think.. I don't see any though. I get down to the point where I don't even like pictures being taking of myself because I think they ugly and always turn out to be bad.people say I'm ugly all the time but they say they joking and don't take it so hard but I think its true... I feel like I need a hole new face life to be happy or be a tottly different person. I'm not happy with the way I turned out to be honest I always wake up wishing I was someone else but that never happen.

justice213
May 20, 2008, 10:21 PM
My lost post was probably shut down but for all of you that were helping me before thanks a lot. I'm down to 171 and wegight 183 around there before I'm up to running for an hour now sometimes more I usually go to the gym after I work work out than run and run in the morning during my days off.yes I am feeling a lot better but I have my dad and other people saying ill never get cutt I don't have the body type its genetics. Witch puts me in the dumps thinking I never will. But I like going to the gym if it takes me 2 years I guess ill have to do it I'm determened to.im even thinking of taking fitness at the collage to be an instructor I injoy going to the gym. But I guess back to my question if I continue working out the way I am will I get cut or do I need to run more. Sometimes I don't get the running in because I'm busy from work and all or my legs swore but id get in like 4 5 days a week running.theres so much stuff on TV like rapid cuts and all that I'm so tempted to take it haha but I'm sure it doesn't help just bad for your body... what do those do for you I'm curious.. but thanks again for the help:)

lovelesspa
Jun 3, 2008, 04:58 AM
Vary your exercise program, use resistance training, aerobics, as well as jogging, walking, running,if your slightly sore your having a good workout, if your really sore, rest, you don't have to work out every day to see results, try every other day. You need to have a program that targets the entire body. As well as getting the right nutrition. You don't necessarily need Protein powder, Protein comes from lean cuts of meats, skinless chicken, turkey breast, turkey or fish, 3 oz, per meal. This alsong with some veggies and fruit with each meal.