So I recently started going on a slew of dates, and I wanted to know the general guidelines from the women.

1. Do you want guys to pay at least the first three dates if he asks you out?

2. How long should the guy wait before he asks you on a second date? Should he wait for the 3-day rule? (side question: say the date went well... do you REALLY worry about things if he doesn't call you within 3 days?)

3. When is it appropriate for the kiss?

Okay, this is my take on this.

I expect the man top ay for the first date, but then I don't mind paying for every other date or something, or going dutch.

3-day rules is crap. I appreciate if he calls the next day or the next night and at least talks to me, or ask for another date within the next couple days.

The last one is the hardest... if she is friendly with you, like an old pal, or very romantic-like, then you should go for the kiss, otherwise, don't try it. Also, I don't (and I'm guessing most women would appreciate or at least not be put off) if you asked them if you could kiss them. :)

Just be polite and it should be fine.

1. The money thing, guys should court the women and be prepared to go on dates you can afford. The girl will offer to pitch in occasionally if she's a good catch. If she doesn't, something to consider. EXPENSIVE dating ideas should include cost discussion, the girl(s) need to know your means. Don't show off here, don't live on credit cards, go on dates you can AFFORD.

2. The only calling rule you need to follow is "don't be creepy." Call when you have something to say. Keep the texting and emails to a minimum, seriously, that stuff is SO easy to misread (tonewise) and it gets creepy fast if your relationship isn't absolutely 100% perfect. Talk on the phone.

3. Kissing is simple, if you're interested in a kiss, lean in to your date's personal space halfway and wait... she'll completete the distance or move away. Immediately respond to her either way making sure she knows it's OK. Kiss her if she moves in, say something about your next date if she backs off. Simple. When? That's different for everyone, no one on this forum can give a useful answer to that.

Oh, and SHE might do the "halfway" thing herself setting the stage unexpectedly for the kiss. Don't miss it.

1. If I guy asks me out... I want him to pay for at least the 1st date.
2. I hate the three day rule... I hate all dating rules. But, I do like when I get a call the next day to tell me that he had a nice time.
3. If I am really attracted to a guy... then I am dying to kiss him and I will. But, honestly... I never kiss the guy on about 90% of my first dates. Sometimes it's just because they say stupid stuff that turns me off during the date. Recently, one guy that I went out with on a lunch date said the "F" word about 10 times during the whole date... complete turn off.

1. Do you want guys to pay at least the first three dates if he asks you out?

I think it's cool that whoever asks pays for the date. I don't expect anything. As a general rule of thumb, I always, always, always bring enough money to cover the entire thing. Because you never know when your dates card is declined.



2. How long should the guy wait before he asks you on a second date? Should he wait for the 3-day rule? (side question: say the date went well...do you REALLY worry about things if he doesn't call you within 3 days?)?

I think 3 days is retarded. All the girls I know would be freaking out by then wondering why they haven't heard anything yet and assume the guy is uninterested. I would send a friendly text the day saying that you had a great time and that you should do it again. Then maybe in a couple days set an actual date?? Something like that maybe.


3. When is it appropriate for the kiss?
I would at least wait for the third date. It makes the anticipation grow.

Hi ISF! I'm going to try my hand at answering these questions... Enjoy! :)


1. Do you want guys to pay at least the first three dates if he asks you out?

I have to admit, I love to be pampered by a man. Flowers, candy, coffee, dinners, etc. First date, guy definitely (in my opinion) should pay - I love the rule "whoever asks, pays." But I also like to feel like I'm treating my guy to a meal, as well. So, yes to the first date and let the semantics of the blossoming relationship dictate who pays for the next few.


2. How long should the guy wait before he asks you on a second date? Should he wait for the 3-day rule? (side question: say the date went well...do you REALLY worry about things if he doesn't call you within 3 days?)

I think the 3-day rule is virtually irrelevant if the date went well. I went on a first date with a guy not too long ago and he texted me about an hour after I had gotten home just to tell me he had a fantastic time and to make sure I got home safe. That was precious. If a date goes well and the participants want to entertain the possibility of developing a relationship, why wait?


3. When is it appropriate for the kiss?
That question, again, depends on the success of a date and the possibility of another date. I'm rather old-fashioned and won't kiss a guy on the first date. Having said that, I went on a first date with a guy that hugged me after he put on his coat, stalled at the door - obviously wanting a kiss, then hugged me again as I virtually shoved him out the door. It wasn't pretty! Go with your gut on that question... If the girl seems like she wants a kiss, I don't think its too off base to ask her if you could kiss her! Yes, I'm old fashioned, but having a guy ask if he can kiss me shows that he respects my wishes and melts my knees ;)

These are just answers based on my personal opinions... every girl is different!

Have fun! :)

Sup Sneeze,

I went on a date with this girl the other day (sunday) it was our first date, it went pretty well and I think I can help you out with the kiss question... even though I'm not a woman... haha. Anyway, she mentioned she liked to play pool, so I took her to a pool hall (she kicked my @ss) then we went and got a coffee... nice and casual. It was a good night, then I took her home, walked her to the door, and honestly Sneeze, you just know when they want it. I'm sure you know this. Anyway, she wanted it, but I didn't give it to her, I just smiled, told her I had a great time, and I hugged her, then left. Guess what, she runs out to the car, knocks on the window and plants one on me... so yeah, sometimes you just got to let things take its course naturally... let her do some of the work too!

Or I'm just a stud and you aren't! Lol

I am a 7th grade girl who has the PERFECT advice for you.

1.If you don't have a lot of money, do one of two things
a)ask to go on dutch (you both pay)
b)make money
And you should pay for the first date... it's the most immportant

2. The three day rule is CRAP! Girls hate that... and as for the second date. Ask the girl
In a day or so... we love being special, especially for a second date!

3. Wait for a week or two. Kisses on the Cheek are respectful, romanric, and loved by a girl! Don't go mouth to mouth until about 3 or 4 weeks... your choice there.

GOOD LUCK!

I'm old fashioned. I think a guy who asks a girl out for a date should pay. You don't have to go on expensive dates either. Asking a girl to go dutch is downright wrong in my eyes unless you are very poor. I know I would have been a little wary to go out with a guy if he announced ahead of time that I'd have to pay my own way unless I knew of his extenuating circumstances.

Second dates are when you decide to call and ask her out. No rule applies as far as I'm concerned. Calling Thurs for a Fri or Sat date is okay.

Kissing - that's when you both have the urge or she instigates it.

1. I like a guy that pays for most if not all the dates. Depending on the circumstances and where you are going.
Never really knew a guy like that though.

2. It is nice to hear from the guy before 3 days cause it doesn't leave you up in the air if he is thinking of you.

3. Start with a small kiss on the cheek when you think she is ready, see how she responds and take it from there.



Don't know, I gave up on the whole thing yrs ago.

So yet again I'm going to update my situation on a Sneezy thread, you're going to love this one...

So that girl I mentioned before, 3 dates later she tells me that she "loves" me... wowie!

This may have been rude, but I couldn't help but laugh when she told me this... I think my exact words where "Hahaha, wait what?" at first I honestly thought she was joking, but then she said that really means it. "theres nobody like you... you make me laugh so much... you're such a great guy..."

So I told her that she doesn't love me, and that she should try to realize that to love someone, you have to know them inside and out. She got mad, and said that "love at first sight" (or in this case, 4 dates) is possible. So I told this poor 20yr old girl with a 14yr old mind that that type of thing only happens in the movies... told her that I have a lot of fun with her, but the feeling isn't mutual.

I think I handled it well enough, I tried to be mature about it, but it was just so damn silly... sad to say that I don't think ill be calling her anytime soon... I'm just a magnet for needy girls I guess... *sigh*

Wow. Well. Ummm... $hit.

I mean, good for you for handling it that way... but maybe less on the laughter next time west.

Prolli broke that poor girl's heart... and now she's going to run to her friends and bash your name and voodoo your @ss.

Jeez. Needy girls. Hmm. You and me both partner.

I hope I don't get voodooed... I'm a valet attendant, I can't afford to be crashing cars.

Crashing cars would be the least of my worries.

One of the girls I dated voodoo-ed me. Woke up with a beak. True story.

... let's just say class/work was VERY awkward...

... and drinking coffee was almost impossible.

So where does it go from here? :D

So where does it go from here? :D

I'm honestly a little afraid of her... I think I'll back off for awhile, and maybe never talk to her again... I think it would just be too weird. 4 dates is hardly enough time to know if you love someone or not... unless you're my ex! Haha.

Okay Sneezy I'm going to chime in. Keep in mind that I haven't actually dated since I was 19, that's when I met my husband. I'm going to give you an old girls perspective, the way it was when I dated way back then. Don't worry I won't go in to too much detail.;)

1. I always went dutch with my dates, but I was young and so were they, neither of us usually had allot of money to spend so I didn't think that my date should have to spend his hard earned dough on me. If you want to pay then I think that's nice, but a girl expecting you to pay is just not okay with me.

2. If you had a good time and you want to see her again then call. Be yourself, go with your gut, there shouldn't be any "rules", after all, you want to show her the real you, so call.

3. I think it's nice if a guy asks for a kiss. I've never been shy though, so I would normally ask for a kiss if I wanted one too. Don't just plant one on her though, that would be invading her personal space. First date, second date, I don't know. Whenever you both feel it's okay that's the time to pucker up.

I hope you find that special someone. Good luck. And remember, I may be older but I've been with my hubby for 18 years, so obviously we did something right.:cool:

Yeah... I mean, we laugh about it, but think about it from the poor girl's point of view... she's probably crushed. (hope I'm not jabbing into you west). I hope she learns from this however.

So... 4 dates huh west? Congrats.

Gee she can't help it you are so lovable and charming
Give the gal a break

Altenweg:

I think the rules about paying has changed a little bit... it may have a lot to do with where I go to school + just the overall people that live around my city.

I go to an almost-ivy league school... with a lot of rich kids (typical parking lot @ school: bmw... range rover.. bmw... mercedez... aston martin?. porsche... bmw... bmw... lotus... )

So it's a bit typical that the guy pays @ my school. Sad.

At my sons school it was the boys parents that had to pay,
They would buy them a brand new bmw... range rover.. bmw... mercedez... aston martin?. porsche... bmw... bmw... lotus... )
And the kid would go out and total it right off the bat and the parents still making the payments on a totaled car.

Aww, Sneezy, if I was young and single I'd take you out on a date and go Dutch. Really, I would. :)

I guess the rules have changed since I was dating. Maybe agree to pay for the first date and then play it by ear. You definitely don't want to date someone who always expects you to pay.

Either way, good luck, have fun and mostly, be yourself.:)

yeah...I mean, we laugh about it, but think about it from the poor girl's point of view...she's probably crushed. (hope I'm not jabbing into you west). I hope she learns from this however.

so...4 dates huh west? congrats.

I mean, it was really nice to hear all that from someone, but to me it just seemed so meaningless, almost like a stranger said it... I think she may have wanted to take things a bit further and wasn't sure how to do it, and I'm even sure if I want another relationship so soon. I don't really think of myself so highly as to actually be able to "crush" someone. I mean, in terms of looks, I'm pretty decent, but I don't think I'm too much above average... but I guess my winning personality and adorable smile can cause some ladies to melt. (I kid) I don't know, she told me that she's had 3 long term boyfriends before, (the longest being 1year) and I guess our views on love are different. We went out the 3rd, the 7th, the 10th and the 13th... they were pretty good times, nothing spectacular, but fun. I only planned two of the dates, she called and set up the rest... maybe she's just in a hurry, as for me, I like to take my sweet old time in almost everything I do.

Yeah... the dating world's expensive @ my school.

Sadly, I'm not one of those bmw-driving kids... I worked for 2 years in high school to get my acura... which I love.

... I usually pay for 3 dates (if it goes that far)... but usually a typical date costs about $60 - 100... so yeah. I need to shop around for a budget girlfriend.. . ebay anyone?

yeah...the dating world's expensive @ my school.

sadly, I'm not one of those bmw-driving kids...I worked for 2 years in high school to get my acura...which I love.

...I usually pay for 3 dates (if it goes that far)...but usually a typical date costs about $60 - 100...so yeah. I need to shop around for a budget girlfriend. ...ebay anyone?

60-100$ wow!

Where are you taking these girls!
I think all 4 dates with needy girl combined cost about 70$

... where am I taking these girls?

Where are YOU taking these girls?! 70!?

Well... usually, I have a go-to restaurant in the city... runs about $20 - 30 an entrée. my favorite restaurant actually. Then dessert... another go-to place... $10 on a dessert entrée... so yeah.

Typical date goes... dinner + dessert... or some event + dessert...

... yeah I see where I'm messing up with this. Good call.

Sneezy - Maybe it's time to date someone that doesn't go to your school.:rolleyes:

$100/date. Wow, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to date anymore, I'd never survive.

Gee sneezy I am old and single so I will take Altenwegs place cause I never had a guy buy me anything better than a Bob Evans chicken platter.

NoHelp - You're lucky, a chicken platter? Like a whole platter of chicken? Wow, and I thought super sizing my fries was sweet.:p

...where am I taking these girls?

where are YOU taking these girls?!? 70!??

well...usually, I have a go-to restaurant in the city...runs about $20 - 30 an entree. my favorite restaurant actually. then dessert...another go-to place...$10 on a dessert entree...so yeah.

typical date goes...dinner + dessert...or some event + dessert...

...yeah I see where I'm messing up with this. good call.

1st date: pool hall and coffee 10$

2nd date: dinner and a movie 50$

3rd date: lunch at my house, (mommy's house) grilled cheese sandwiches (<3) FREE

4th date: tacos at an amazing local taco chain 10$

No just a small portion and talk about going dutch
The platter had to go dutch.
I liked the drumstick and the bite of potato I got.
Well the super size came with my kids.

DID somebody say

POOL HALL AND TACOS

I love you too
When we going
I have 15.00 to spare!!

Lets go right now... its only 1:15am here

lets go right now.... its only 1:15am here
:D
Its 1:15 here too!

Take notes Sneeze... tacos are the true way to a woman's heart. Trust in the taco, and all life's questions can be answered.

... I got to get off campus and meet these girls who're down for "pool hall and tacos"

... my past few dates

1. martinis and imax at the local museum: $30 for tix, $20 for martinis, $10 for appetizer
Dessert: $10 for dessert, $15 for coffee
$85 total.

2. dinner @ my go-to restaurant: $65
Dessert: $15
$80 total.

3. "broadway" show at a theater: $80 for tix
Dinner/dessert: $75
$155

... looking @ my credit card statement at the end of the month while tying a noose with my shoelaces.. priceless.

Sneeze with that kind of money, you should be making your own rules.

Tal - I had to spread the love otherwise I would have given you a greenie.:)

You've got it right, there are no rules when you're spending that kind of money.

Sneezy - If you want to meet women that are content to play pool and eat taco's, come to Canada. I have a few nice single friends that I think would be perfect for you. Just say the word and I'll make a few calls.;)

There is a nice little beach bar (on the Ohio River LOL) near my house
That I like going to. Food and drinks are expensive so I just buy one or two
Exotic summer night (drinks) and nurse them until the band is done playing and
Watch the boats go by.
Night out alone go home alone
$6.00 plus gas
:D

I am my own cheap date!

... $6... for one or two drinks?

... a nice bar around where I live... $10 a drink.

Hey sneezy

When I went on a first date with my current boyfriend (of 2 years) I actually kissed him!

Then that same week he asked me to be his girlfriend.

Yea we might have rushed but two years later and we are still together... *sigh*

Sneezy - Ever think that the girl of your dreams might be right under your nose?

Dare I play match maker? Ooh, I might get in trouble for this. What the heck Alty, take the plunge and hope the poo doesn't hit the fan.

I don't know where you live, but personally I think that HC would be a great girl for you. Smart, funny, nice, likes coffee, single, perfect match in my opinion.

Just something to think about.:)

Isn't HC married?. and doesn't she have children?

isn't HC married? ...and doesn't she have children?

LOL! Noooo sweet Sneezy, not married, no kids.

I have several people trying to matchmake me! :D

Oh. Hm. I was always under the impression you were. My bad.

Being a pre-medder... I constantly have parents asking me when I'm going to med school... if I have a girlfriend... etc.

... their fantasy?

Someday, I'll get that MD... marry their daughter... and buy them a BMW 7-series.

For shame.

Damn this is better than GG. *grabs popcorn and peanut M&Ms*

As far as I know she's single, no kids. She does have a cat though, you aren't allergic are you?

It was just a thought, you two are both very smart, kind people, you have allot in common and you've already talked allot. I would think that a date with HC would be great, the awkward first date conversation isn't an issue and she's a real sweetie, so are you.

Once again, just a thought. I don't even know if you two live anywhere near each other so this could be something that isn't even possible. Besides, it's not up to me, it's up to both of you.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch.

You have to imagine it with the music.:)

Wow... MA - funny, popcorn and M&M's (caught that one)...

You are so sweet Alty...

I'm in Nashville.

Hahaha ridiculous.

Sadly... I AM allergic to cats! Sorry!

I went on a date with this one girl about a week ago. Pretty girl... she dressed well for our date... everything looked great... except I started sneezing (in a funny way... hmm) about 10 minutes into our date. Then I looked at her in an accusing way and said, "...do you have cats?!?" she replies... "YES! OMG! I know you're allergic! I know! Sorry I didn't tell you!"

... took 2 benadryls. Things went OK. Still a bit angry that she didn't tell me about the cat though... knowing I was allergic...

Oops, I've been busted on two posts. I should have know it wouldn't take long for you to find out what I was up to.:o

Were are you Sneezy, anywhere near Nashville? What are you doing this weekend?
I'm such and instigator.:D

My bad. Sorry.:cool:

Hahahaha

I'm in atlanta. (2 hour drive.. )

Sadly, I am busy all weekend running assays. (working... 8am... til 9pm... both days... )

... and studying for midterm week. (wednesday... thursday... friday... happy days... )

Happy Days, ah memories. You're to young to remember Happy Days, you must be watching the re-runs.

Atlanta isn't all that far... in the grand scheme of things.

Assays... now, what are they? Them? Those? It? What is an assay? Lol

An assay is a chemical procedure to check the concentration of whatever I'm analyzing. I do assays of receptors on brain tissue. Takes about 15 hours (6 hours first day, 9 hours second day)... where I just make chemicals, suspend brain sections in it... make more chemicals... suspend more sections in it... make more chemicals... you get the picture.

Wow... that's impressive. I can't imagine doing something like that... wow...

not that impressive. Grueling is more like it. But I appreciate the compliment =D

Lol, really, from my point of view, it is impressive! Receptors on brain tissue and chemicals... those are just foreign concepts to me!

Chemicals and me don't mix well. High school chemistry... lol... my teacher never liked to see me coming... If I remember correctly, my partner singed one of his eyebrows off during one experiment... not sure what it was... all I remember was that it wasn't my fault!

... we MAY have gone to high school together... really, it's a high possibility. I had to go to homecoming with one eyebrow...

Oh boy... Wow... you poor thing... That couldn't have been fun...

Unibrow guy was never the same after that experiment... poor kid...

I have single neice's daughters, and sons, and nephews, for a beamer, and a few 10 dollar drinks, pick two... SON.:D

As far as I know she's single, no kids. She does have a cat though, you aren't allergic are you?

It was just a thought, you two are both very smart, kind people, you have allot in common and you've already talked allot. I would think that a date with HC would be great, the awkward first date conversation isn't an issue and she's a real sweetie, so are you.

Once again, just a thought. I don't even know if you two live anywhere near eachother so this could be something that isn't even possible. Besides, it's not up to me, it's up to both of you.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch.

You have to imagine it with the music.:)

I still love this... Alty - thank you for my smile this morning! After my first physical therapy session and the ensuing ouchies, I needed the smile! :) You're a doll. A sweet-natured, bunny-loving, coffee-consuming doll.

LOL... you guys have TOTALLY hijacked this thread. Funny stuff.

Is it considered hijacking when the OP is part of the hijack team? Not sure about the semantics of thread-hijacking... ;)

Nope, it's not a thread-jack, although it has turned into a singles bar with the OP joining in. My bad, I started all this, but I think a little match making is called for. HC and Sneezy are wonderful people, I think they'd have a great time together.

There I go again, really, I'll stop now.

The Balls back in your court. I promise, I'll be good (maybe).

Hey I didn't read all the other posts and I know this is kind of an old post but.. I'll give you my two cents here..

1. Paying the first three dates to me is excessive.. I don't expect him to pay the first three, I think if he asked me out, the first date offer to pay, and when she offers to help politly say no and offer her to buy dessert or something

2. don't play games with the phone call thing, if you want to call her, call her.. It was always torture for me waiting for the guy to call.. just be yourself, no games..

3. kiss on the first date is not what I usually do.. after the first date it's all up in air, read her vibes.. you should be good

Hope that helped