Just wondering listen I have been married 15 yrs separated 2.5 never have I been abused once mentally or physically we had a breakdown in communication I asked to leave the home we decided to give each other some air but I asked for a divorce he said he didn't want one but didn't come back home. We are still married he says he stuck in the middle can't make up is mind whether he wants to remain married or not he really confuses me he says he loves me can't imagine being with anyone else can get past our relationship but keeps second guessing himself about coming back he says when he makes a decision he feels like I always have something to say the only time I said anything was when the decision had something to do with me or my children each time I attempt to pursue a divorce he asks me to wait he was totally against counseling in the beginning but now he wants help he says there is a part of him that wants to stay married I really do love him but I'm tired of the back and forth he communicates with me through texting I hadn't heard from him in 4 days wouldn't return my call in any fashion until I left a message saying if I don't hear from you in the next few days the next time you hear from me it will be my lawyer he knows how it works this is his second marriage I would love more than anything for my marriage to work after 13 years we still held hands and just laughed when we were around each other for no reason I can't take this roller coaster anymore sometimes I feel like my head is going to pop off I am going to see somebody for me what should I do should I wait until he seeks professional help I really want him @ home but only if he wants to be here he says its not fair to me that he feels that way but he working on these feelings but we don't spend anytime together now or does he spend time with our children which hurts me than anything I asked him to talk to our son who's a teenager he said not until his mind is made up one minute he says OK lets file then the next he's trying again I need help with this because if its over I need closure so I can move on so when/if I get into another relationship I won't take this baggage with me. One more thing a great deal of time when I mention divorce he gets angry this is my first marriage PLEASE SOME ADVICE I FEEL LIKE I AM STUCK IN A ROOM W/O A EXIT THANK YOU ALL :0 )

You deserve better than that. He is only thinking about himself and what he wants.
He sounds like he is more scared of losing the idea of being married than he is interested in making a marriage work. I wouldn't wait around for him to decide and then leave again.