View Full Version : How do I get my ex back
dani04
Feb 23, 2008, 02:32 PM
I've been with this guy for about a year. And I really like him. He was so nice to me. About a week ago he said its over because he can't do anything else because he can't think because I am all he thinks about. I don't know how to get him back. He said it was me and him forever and I want it to be me and him forever. I just get Ill thinking about him with some other girl. I really like this guy a lot, he is litteraly my world. He taught me how to be a better person, he told me when I did wrong, he just made me who I am today. I still want to be with him. I asked him a couple of days ago if we could try again and he said NO IT'S OVER get over it. It really hurt. I really miss to.
Can someone please tell me what I should do. How I should act around him, what I should'nt do.
Thank you.
Marriedguy
Feb 23, 2008, 03:32 PM
Move on unless you want to get hurt. I never heard someone say I can't be with you because he/she couldn't get you off there mind. That does not make any sense. He is lying to you there is another reason why he does not want to be with you. The reason is beyond me. He is definitely hiding something. Why do you want to be with someone that can't be honest with you?
Ash123
Feb 23, 2008, 09:08 PM
There are no magic tricks...
But a practical method is in my survival guide below...
jolienoire
Feb 23, 2008, 11:59 PM
I've been with this guy for about a year. and I really like him. He was so nice to me. about a week ago he said its over because he can't do anything else because he can't think because I am all he thinks about. I don't know how to get him back. He said it was me and him forever and I want it to be me and him forever. I just get Ill thinking about him with some other girl. I really like this guy alot, he is litteraly my world. He taught me how to be a better person, he told me when I did wrong, he just made me who I am today. I still want to be with him. I asked him a couple of days ago if we could try again and he said NO IT'S OVER get over it. It really hurt. I really miss to.
Can someone please tell me what I should do. How I should act around him, what I should'nt do.
Thank you.
Firstly this is a polite rejection... he wants his space let him have it if you loved him that much you would give him the space he is requesting unless you will push him away..
Second, he didn't make you anything.. You need to take credit for your own choices, and changes...
There is no getting him back. He already told you he didn't want to be with you... I know it hurt but hurt is apart of healing, it makes you stronger.. . It's like falling down you may fall you will get back up... brush it off and keep stepping... You don't need anyone to validate you or be the center of your happiness.. you are the architect to build your own desires.. You are the masonary.. lay the foundation... Let him go... if you truly love him and care about his happiness whether it be with or without you..
pasiria
Feb 24, 2008, 12:06 AM
Have you realize that you have your answer-"he said NO IT'S OVER get over it". Be strong, cry if you must, kick the pillow and let time heal you.
youcantstop48
Feb 24, 2008, 12:07 AM
He is playing head games with you for some reason, cause he told you he didn't want it anymore so I'm not sure what he is doing, its messing with you cause he said he can't get you off his mind, but I think its someone else he can't get off his mind
starbuck8
Feb 24, 2008, 01:00 AM
I agree with youcantstop! He is messing with your head and I don't think he cares about you or your feelings. He isn't being honest with you, and he isn't being considerate of your feelings either. Move on to someone who will be honest and upfront with you and treats you the way you deserve. HE did not make you who you are, he just made you feel a bit better about yourself for awhile because he made (false) promises. Surround yourself with your friends and cry, scream, get it out... and then go have yourselves a good "i'm better off without him" party! :)
talaniman
Feb 24, 2008, 09:50 AM
Can someone please tell me what I should do. How I should act around him, what I should'nt do.
What you should do is leave him alone, What you shouldn't do is chase after him. You should work hard, to get over him, and move on. You shouldn't hold on to those things he said before as obviously he changed his mind about forever.You should do the things that make you happy, with friends you enjoy.
JoeCanada76
Feb 24, 2008, 09:55 AM
First of all it is over.
The mistake you personally made was making him your whole world. This will destroy a person.
You need to figure out how to live for yourself and not make anybody your whole world. There always needs to be a balance with partners. Maybe that is your lesson in all of this.
Best wishes to you and you need to leave this guy alone. The more you contact him the worse off things will be.
JBeaucaire
Feb 24, 2008, 10:57 AM
There is nothing more attractive than a fully self-assured, self-reliant, self-capable woman who THEN makes time to include you in her life on purpose. It's lovely.
On the other hand, wrapping your life/happiness around a guy can creep a lot of guys out, and it can happen unexpectedly, as you've just discovered.
If this guy literally became your world, then there's your problem and you know what to work, eh? Once you have established your life as an individual and confidence it your bedmate, the guy(s) will view/desire you in a much better way.
And you'll be a better mate since you won't be pressuring these guys to make you happy, you'll already BE happy and they will just be a new part of it.
Yep, that's WAY more attractive.
Gearhe4d
Jan 22, 2009, 08:37 PM
Seems like everyone has this universal idea that "Oh don't worry, the perfect guy/girl will eventualyl show up and you won't have these kidns of problems with them ever, it will be awesome."
It dosen't quite seem like that happens much, if not extremely rarely.
MY girlfriend of two years recently told me she needs a "break."
I'm trying my best to give her space right now and honor her wishes, but do not expect me to give up on her. I think, if you love this guy as much as you say you do, pursue this.
It may take months, or even years to get through to him, or for him to get enough space, but during this time, you may even change yourself, you might start to understand that he isn't the one for you. This is one of those things that you have to just give some time to. It's not going to be easy, especially if he said that "IT'S OVER" but people do change their minds, just try to act casual around him if you do happen to be around him. Don't put pressure on him, and MOST OF ALL don't be negative around him, this will only intensify his negative feelings towards you, you have to bring the fun and the interest back.
I'm sure a lot of people think you are too young to be in love, but I fully understand what you are going through. Best of luck to you, and wish me luck too.
starbuck8
Jan 22, 2009, 09:08 PM
Seems like everyone has this universal idea that "Oh don't worry, the perfect guy/girl will eventualyl show up and you won't have these kidns of problems with them ever, it will be awesome."
It dosen't quite seem like that happens much, if not extremely rarely.
MY girlfriend of two years recently told me she needs a "break."
I'm trying my best to give her space right now and honor her wishes, but do not expect me to give up on her. I think, if you love this guy as much as you say you do, pursue this.
It may take months, or even years to get through to him, or for him to get enough space, but during this time, you may even change yourself, you might start to understand that he isn't the one for you. This is one of those things that you have to just give some time to. It's not going to be easy, especially if he said that "IT'S OVER" but people do change their minds, just try to act casual around him if you do happen to be around him. Don't put pressure on him, and MOST OF ALL don't be negative around him, this will only intensify his negative feelings towards you, you have to bring the fun and the interest back.
I'm sure a lot of people think you are too young to be in love, but I fully udnerstand what you are going through. Best of luck to you, and wish me luck too.
Gearhe4d! First of all, you cannot MAKE someone love you. It just doesn't work that way no matter how much you want it to happen. Why in the world would you waste months or YEARS of your life trying to get back together with someone that has told you NO! This is called acting desperate, and often times---stalking! Let it go and move on. It will NOT work in your favour, and will actually WORK AGAINST YOU!
Secondly, you are answering a question that is almost a year old. If you need us to give you advice in your situation, please start your own thread. That way you will get more advice, in your situatiion.
kujiinkiri
Mar 19, 2009, 11:30 AM
Hi there! Iv'e been down that road before, and it's not fun I know. There are a great many different reasons that could be behind his decision. There's no telling unless he either tells you what's really going on inside, or it's going to take some clever work on your part to get the answer. Tell you what, I have a blog with more info on this subject, it might really help you out - Why is love so hard? (http://naturelover-whyislovesohard.blogspot.com/) . I sincerely hope that you find what your searching for, and that you find happiness! Good luck!