I'm trying to find out about men who left their long term marriage for another woman. Did you have any regrets? What did you do about it? How did it work out.

I can't answer from personal experience. I have a friend that has cheated on his wife. He felt trapped. Married is not for everyone and clearly it was not for him. But when people get into relationship there are certain expectations that have to be met. Getting married was one of those things he did to keep the peace in the relationship.
However, in his heart he didn't want to settle down. So before the marriage and during the married he was sleeping with other women. Finally, he decided that it was not worth it to continue claiming that he was married and left. The only thing he regretted was getting married in the first place.
This is only story of one person who is a selfish bastard. Women love him for some reason or another. There are plenty of husbands that leave there wives and realizes that it was the worse mistake.

It's a mixed bag hope this helped.

My long term husband had an affair for 2 years until I found out and chucked him out now he lives with her while pretending not to. Why?
He made it clear he did'nt want me. I don't understand why he still feels the need to lie to me I'm done with him. I think he thinks I still want him.
Anyway he has moved in with his new family, she has a 6 year old and is 10 years younger, and fazing out his old family, 2 kids 22 and 18.
How long will his relationship last? Is it forever?

Who knows?

But the thing is, if he thought that it would work, why not get a divorce and live with her? He stayed with you because you could provide something she couldn't...

Regardless, there's a chance that it could work... but something tells me that it won't.

My long term husband (26 years) flaunted his success at a younger woman who worked in the gambling club he frequented. He left me for her when I found out about their two year affair. They have now been living together for four months. His mother recons the relationship won't last. What do you think?

Why? Do you want him back?

Not today.

Probably better off without him.

I recon, that you should not care if his relationship with this girl lasts or not, you file for divorce, take him for what you can, and move on with your life.

Yeah your right but is so hard.

Not for him...

No not for him and are you speaking from experience?

You need to protect yourself financially. If the two of you are able to work things out later, GREAT... but why let your future be put into jeopardy while he is out playing. Don't gamble on the possibilities.

I'm speaking from experience. Dump him. Divorce him and move on. Who wants someone who acts so horribly?

They've been together 2.5 years and carried on an affair behind your back. Sounds like it's lasting to me.

Yep, my experience was that I gambled that my ex would come back to me if I didn't upset her... she ended up with everything... I got to sort through the trash she didn't want in the house to start my life over... and despite that, I still have a hard time not wanting it to be over... She obviously didn't have same feelings... and I just have to go with the fact it is over.

I have the wheels in motion. I have some very NICE SURPRICES lined up for him. He's about to find out just how stupid I really am. Nothing personal, just protecting my kids inheritance. My husbands the gambler not me.

Good for you!!

If you want to share, feel free... I also understand if you'd rather not! I was just thinking that it might be nice to hear when someone gets what they deserve... but other people might give you a hard time if they have other opinions... never know how people will take things...

Ahh I love the 'stupid' outsmart him move! :D

If you want help on any ideas I may be able to think some good ones up!

Oooooooo! Glad I'm not him! Bad enough having one person think of things... an army would just be mind boggling!

You know what, even if it does not last. You are better off without. You need to focus on what is more important. Your health, Mental state, children. 26 years is a long marriage. It is sad that it ended the way it has. It seems to me that you're a very strong person and that your willing to stand up for yourself. This is very good.

Feel free nohelp4u and oneguyinohio I will share with you. You 1st.

Jesushelper I thought I was a strong person always there for everyone now I feel totally alone. The one person I thought I could depend on destroyed me but I'm good somedays. I'm/was quite house proud but I don't know how many times I've thrown things in my livingroom, whatever is near me goes flying through the air cups of tea the lot I could'nt tell you how many times I've had the pollyfilla out to fill in the dents I've put in the wall painted in about four times this month in fact drying out just now. Then I stick on a smile and face the world.

If you've got access to joint credit cards or cell phone bills... placing a hold on all joint counts that have your name on them. You may need legal assistance to freeze joint financial accounts and retirement.

I would suggest that all actions be done at the same time so that there is no time to prepare for anything. It might take a while to get everything in order.

Not sure if he is currently providing money for you, so you'll have to consider that... but going for spousal support might be an option to discuss with your attorney.

Whose name is car in? Insurance? You'll want to get your name off any joint stuff... at least if you see it being to your advantage financially.

Yeah he was'nt that stupid he kept his money separate and most of it hidden plenty of practice at this he'a gambler I went asnooping when he was asleeping and photocoppied everything he had hidden in his car I have plenty of evidence I'm going to hit him with a disclosure just when he's least expecting it. I don't live in the states we have different legal system a lot of assets in my name but don't make a difference he may still get 50% but not if I can help it. I also think he's been paying his mistress's mortgage working on that evidence get her house into the pool too HA. I'm getting some money from him 2/5ths what I need to live on each month working on that too. I am not able to work at moment I.ve also had death in family and lost a whole lot of weight down to 43.5k not pretty. He disclosed to me 1/5th of his earnings to me I'd like to be a fly on the wall when he finds out how much I know.

Nice!

Also get a complete physical and blood work. Especially considering your spouse has had an affair for so long.

How long is a piece of string? Some of these relationships will last and some won't, it is hard to say. But so far it has lasted over 2 years.

Put the train in motion and file for divorce, NOW. Take him for everything you can, don't forget to seek part of his pension plan, make sure she and her child get nothing that is rightfully yours and your children's and what ever else you can get from those selfish, selfish cheaters. Let them know that you are not a doormat and will not be taken advantage of.

Get on with you and your children's life and be happy and free! She can deal with his cheating ways from now. It is a fact that once they do it, the next time is easier, so she will reap what she sowed, she sounds like a gold digger. He will come to realise that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

>Three threads merged as they all deal with the same issue<

I have no experience in cheating, but I love this posts and hope he gets what he deserves. You have made my day, as we usually get a lot of posts from the other woman. Whether he stays with her or not, he is probably cheating on her too, so I think you should be celebrating at his expense, why not? You have paid your dues, and more. Now your FREE. That's a good thing.

Well Tal the thing is I thought that, he is a builder and dose home improvements. I have access to his cell account (he dos'nt know this) I go on line to check out just what he's up to who he's calling. I have downloaded the last 30 months of his calls. And guess what?? He was calling another woman for over a year I have her address but don't know what I should do. Do I go speak to her, and then what, it may be that he was doing a job for her who knows??
By the way I hope no-one they know uses this forum.

I think it is a bad idea to confront the other woman.
The only thing that could do any good is if she is not aware he is married and your informing her makes her kick him in the butt the next time he comes around. Other than that it will only give him heads up that you are on to him if he doesn't already know you are.

Sorry I did'nt make that last statement clear he stopped calling [I]that[I]woman last July just before I found out about this one, but it was during the coarse of his now relationship. The jobs he dose don't last that long and I checked out this property it's a small flat. If it was work it would'nt take all this time. I'm just curious to see what else was going on in my life that I did'nt know about. But maybeyour right probably best toleave it alone for now she probably would tell him.

Can I just ask everyone's thoughts on this? For over 2 years while his affair was going on he never pulled an all-nighter when he could have so easily I believed everything he told me and I can't understand why he did'nt spend the night with her.

You can check the property to see whose name it is under.

Even if he isn't with THAT woman, he is with this women more than likely.
Maybe he left the other for this one.

Can I just ask everyone's thoughts on this? For over 2 years while his affair was going on he never pulled an all-nighter when he could have so easily I beleived everything he told me and I can't understand why he did'nt spend the night with her.

My advice would be to look to the future and not to the past. There is no way we can know why he did things the way he did or what they all mean.

Trying to figure this out is like looking at tea leaves or Tarot cards... and it's not doing you any good.

This guy is a cheater and a liar. If you want to keep your wagon hitched to that star I'm sure you will get another chance to be his fool. But if you want to get your act together, start thinking about you and look to the future, without him.

No one deserves to be played the way you have been played. You should be angry and wanting nothing to do with him, not sitting here trying to figure how how and why he did what he did.

He did it. He treated you like crap and played you for a fool. He'll do it again if you let him. Looking forward and not back is what will get you out of this horrible situation.

Nohelp I thought of that about that. There has been a large sum of money coming out of his account about the same time every month I think he has been paying her mortgage with money he should have been paying to our mortgage but only her name is registered on the property I'm working on that would'nt it be sweet to take it from her. (Is that just nasty). Susan I'm getting over the emotional cheating I'm now most days thinking of the financial cheating.

Yep the only good it will do for her to track things is to reaffirm and set it in her that he is no good.