View Full Version : I want my ex back.
Jackie917
Feb 22, 2008, 09:14 AM
okay, my boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. I really wasn't expecting it even though I told him I knew it was coming. We talked about making this a break because he wanted to "get to know himself" which I understand but I still want to be with him =[ he told me it was going to be a while and he told me maybe by summer he'd be ready then I talked to him again about a week ago and he said he wants to be single for years and years! What does that mean? I really want to be with him but he said he's confused about who he really is he even thinks he might be bisexual. I'm trying really hard to be happy and just get over him but I seem to have ups and downs all the time and its really frustrating. I just want him back :( any advice would be appreciated.
jpm247
Feb 22, 2008, 09:26 AM
I understand how your feeling, its pretty harsh when someone decides for one reason or another that they don't want to be with you. But all you can do is try and get your head together, accept that he's not ready to be with you exclusively at the moment, and focus on yourself and doing things without him that make you happy.
Its not easy I can tell you. If he realises he misses you he will let you know. Have a look at the other postings on this site, they will help.
Homegirl 50
Feb 22, 2008, 10:57 AM
There is nothing you can do. And don't let someone keep you hanging in a string with the hope of them pulling you in again.
Move on. You'll be glad you did.
susangpyp
Feb 22, 2008, 11:19 AM
Sometimes "I think I might be bisexual" is a big hint that the person may be gay. For some, it's easier to explore bisexuality first before completely embracing being gay. If he's confused about his sexuality, there is a lot of soul searching he needs to do to figure it out. There is nothing you can do for him or with him to help him in this process. He may need to explore relationships with men as well as do his deep inner soul searching to figure it all out.
It's a heavy heavy process and he might really be grappling with it. Depending on where he comes from, what kind of family he comes from, his own views on homosexuality/bisexuality etc, he may have a tough time with all of this.
The thing is that he's not just someone who doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up... he's really trying to answer a core question about who he is... a very important question that will determine which way he goes in life.
It's not that you want him back, necessarily, but that the grief process is hard and it hurts. You probably would like to put your life back to where it was when you didn't have to deal with all of this... the loss of him, his confusion, your grief.
It's hard but you can get through this. He sounds like he needs lots of time and space and the best you can do is give it to him and work on you.
talaniman
Feb 22, 2008, 05:30 PM
He tried to let you down easy, so take it for what its worth, its over forever and its time to move on. It ain't easy, but it starts with not contacting him, or letting him contact you.