Well here goes. Will she come back?
After reading a whole bunch of posts on this matter I know the answers are...
1) Move on, and Date.
2) Don't know, maybe, maybe not. Yes and NO.

The story, My ex girlfriend and I originally got together after my very bad marriage. I had gotten over it, but was at the point where I just did not care and was happy being me. I was doing my own thing knowing where I was going, how I was going to do it, when. I had a vision for my life and nothing was stopping me. I got together with this girl and in the beginning I just did not care, I made that very clear, not matter how harshly or mean I was to her, I made it clear that I did not care. Anyway we kept hanging out and over time this girl really was doing special things that we ended up being in a relationship.

After that, sure we had our problems, but overall the relationship was great. I always, (I mean ALWAYS) was there for her, anything she wanted to do, I always did for her, no complaints. It was great. We still had problems, but nothing bad.

Over the past few months we kept fighting and fighting, the nature or direction of our relationship also made me feel very insecure, to the point where I was not being very trusting. I broke some very fundamentals rules (checking her cell) etc. No excuses, I did it feeling very justified at the time. Anyway, we sort of resented each other for various reasons and ultimately she felt like she could not do anything without me being weird about it.

Needless to say the relationship ended because of a very small fight ( a culmination of lots of small fights), but Im sure that was coming anyway and it was a matter of time. After I broke up with her 2 days later I called her up and said I was sorry being rash blah blah blah. Wouldn't have it at all.

I tried very hard for a week, emailed trying to explain the whole situation and letting her know how I "really" felt, what I hoped for the future etc. All what I really felt, and still do.

I was dropped hard. Probably deservedly so. My feelings on the subject are that, I did do things wrong ( I never cheated or anything, just small fights) as a reaction to certain things (hence the resentment) which I cannot however badly, take them back. I regret doing them now knowing at what cost they came at. Life is not always about being right, or having the other person be perfect. In a way I'm also bitter at being left (yes even though I broke up) like I did not matter at all. I felt like I offered A lot and tried very hard despite the faults over the past few months.

Anyway after about a week at an attempt at reconciliation, I tried calling, texting, emailing all that stuff. I got a couple of responses summed up by the I still love you (need space), but not ready now or not sure if she will know when or if she wants to come back category.

Before the response I made it clear that if she did not feel the same way as she did before, it would not be an problem for me. I understood those things happen, I just need to know how she felt about me of which the reply was the above.

So it is very hard for me to understand or accept this.

I dont call anymore or plan to call, but the difficulty in moving on is when someone says that they still love you and you them...

Its been very very very tough on me, knowing that I love someone (them saying like wise) and still having to let them go.

Weeeeeeeeeird.

What do you guys/gals think?

Leave her alone, and get busy rebuilding a life that you enjoy, without her in it. You need to love yourself enough to be happy with who you are. Sorry for your loss, but not contacting her will help end that confusion between her words and her actions. Her lips say I love you, but her actions say, get the hell away from me. Go with the actions.

Had to spread the Rep Tal , but yep Actions speak louder than words.

Yea, very true, thanks. It just really sucks.
Funny how you think it only happens to you...
I still can no get over the I still love you! Man. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, driving me bonkers.

Yea, very true, thanks. It just really sucks.
Funny how you think it only happens to you....
I still can no get over the I still love you! man. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, driving me bonkers.

Yep it sucks , but by reading a lot of the posts on here you will realise there are lots of people in your situation.

Yeah, we are all suckers hahahaha.
Na man, Im okay with it in a way as well. I know in my heart I did things wrong, but I also know in my heart I did things right as well. No relationship is perfect.

Time will reveal all that is hidden today.

Its been three or four weeks, and yea the first 2 were probably the hardest thing I've been through, no joke. Its like women and my achillies. Ive fought through a lot but when it comes to women I get decked easy, lol.
But I do appreciate your comments, it does help know one is not special, these are patterns of life.

Still sucks and still hurts :) yea we grow and we get better etc.
Learnt a lesson I already new. Like taking a class over again.

I hope one day to be redeemed. :)

Read the links in Talaniman's signature for some things that may help you.

Yea I did :)

They do help.

What to expect is funny stuff (great.)

So its been two weeks now and haven't called her. Its soooooooooo hard. I feel like if I email her how I feel it would make a difference. Probably not, but that's how it feels :(.
I keep thinking she will call me soon.
I can't help thinking things I know don't help and I can't stop doing things I know don't help, but somehow I believe they will.

Yeah going through NC is definitely hard. You will hit times where you strongly feel that if you just e-mail, call, or do something special she will come running back to you. The truth is that she won't, and the more you try to convince her to stay in the relationship the more you push her away. Maybe in a couple of weeks, months, or years you two will find your way back to one another. However, don't sit around waiting for that to happen because more then likely you won't. Do your best to forget about her, continue NC, and move on with your life.

so its been two weeks now and haven't called her. Its soooooooooo hard. I feel like if I email her how I feel it would make a difference. Probably not, but thats how it feels :(.
I keep thinking she will call me soon.
I can't help thinking things I know don't help and I can't stop doing things I know don't help, but somehow I believe they will.

It's all part of the process Kochi , its not easy. But you just have to hang in there and not break NC. If you do you just go back to Day 1 and it starts all over again. Time is the greatest healer.

Thanks. :)

From my experience nothing hurts more than someone not reciprocating your feelings- and those wounds stay long after a healthy relationship has been established. I know no two situations are alike but I always ask myself that 'what if' question, and I would possibly harbor resentment for initially not being cared about, ultimately wanting to be the one to split and emerge somewhat unscathed. It sounds a little bit harsh, and please don't tak it to heart if you don't think that applies.

I think you are doing a great job not contacting her, and as much as I hate to admit it: it's the only thing that works and lets you prove to yourself that you can get yourself out of something that's not working and 'off of' a person, so to speak.

Wizzlet-
Oh I totally agree. Doesn't sound harsh, the truth never is. Sometimes one feels more "justified" or "hopefull" if they break the relationship since it makes it feel like the right thing, one feels left behind the other like they are moving "forward"

In this case I was the one to break it off as it had gotten to a point where I could sense something was really wrong and was becoming paranoid. I think I did it to see if she really cared any more, and boy she took off like I was the plague (makes me think "wow was I that bad). Then I went running back (which im sure really endeared me to her)

Anyways, I did try to make amends and try to rebuild, thinking that every relationships goes through phases.
I also agree about the resentment, Aesop's sour grapes.

AND it gets me, "I still love you." You dont walk away from people you love.
Ba humbug. arrrrrgh.

I've been walking around like a snivling idiot for 4weeks now.

Well I guess its good to "die" every few times in a lifetime.