I have a bit of a problem, I'm 18 and my friends sister of 14 likes me and wants to have sex. She says she's ready and really likes me. Should I have sex with her?

No way. Don't do it! I don't care how mature she seems or how much she says she wants it, don't do it! She's way too young. Is it worth going to jail for? I don't think so. Find someone your own age. There's a much bigger difference between 14 and 18, then say 18 and 22. Don't do something you'll both probably regret.

How am I going to end up in jail? Its not illegal where I live

Do you like the idea of having a new boyfriend named BUBBA when they lock you up in prison for rape?? You can be very popular, they do really life child molestors in prison.

Of course not, first, she has no idea if she is ready or not, and she is not, 14 year olds are not old enough.

Why not? Look back through history and you will find that lots of girls were married and having sex at 14

An 18 year old as far as I know is statitory rape ANYWHERE with anyone under 17 (18 in some states)... I could be wrong but I don't think so. So no, you shouldn't.

I'm not from the USA and I know the law of my country

Oh my bad then, still at 14 no one is mature enough o handle the responsabilities, and/or consequences of having sex. She may think she wants to, but you need to show more maturity and decline. Wait. Show that you DO care. She may not be happy about it now, but someday she will look back and think fondly of you that you said no.

Where do you live? If its not illegal there, it should be. Yes, look back through history and people were getting married and having sex at 14. That was when the average lifespan of people was 30 years not 80 years! Look back through history and you'll see a lot of things that happened that were an awful dea (ie. Slavery, oppression, genocide, etc.). Just because something used to happen doesn't mean its right. Welcome to the 21st century. The world and people and especially the rate at which we as people mature has changed drastically over the past 100 years.

Were you really expecting for people to tell you to "go for it"?

Ok, so forget about the age difference. Its still a really really awful idea. What if things don't work out and you still have to see each other around because she's your friends sister. What if afterwards she regrets it (which we as girls usually do after the first time)? Is it worth also losing a friend over? Wait a couple of years until she's at least 16!

So she's a friends sister big deal, what's she going to do bug me if it goes bad for her? And the age difference thing isn't as bad as others like 40 year old guys marry 20 year olds

Well, it seems like you've already made up your mind. Why are you asking then? If you're not uncertain about the age thing nor the friend's sister thing, then what are you uncertain about?

And the age difference between 40 and 20 is actually smaller than the age difference between 14 and 18. 40 and 20 are both adults. Its not about years. Its about maturity level.

Wowie!

This is like the third crazy post I read today... again, another question a monkey could give a logical answer to. Buddy, if you're questioning your actions, then you shouldn't do it. Not only will it probably be bad, but this poor little girl doesn't know what she wants, she thinks its cool to lose your virginity asap. Do you want to be that creepy guy in her life who she lost it too at 14... you may even cause her phsycological issues in the future. Tell her that she doesn't know what she wants and that if she's so ready that she should find someone her own age.

Well if it is about maturity level I know a few people as young as 10 that have more maturity then around 40% of the adults I run into during the day. And I'm asking to find positive or negative points on the choice so I can be helped in deciding

So then by your logic if one questions their existence they should commit suicide?

so then by your logic if one questions their existence they should commit suicide?

What? Care to elaborate?

Of course that's not what I'm saying. But you're saying you want to hear everyone's negative and positive points but every time someone gives you a negative point you dismiss it. So, if you don't want to hear it, why ask? What are some of the positive points you think will come of having sex with this child?

*sigh* I'm dismissing it because I can find logic that defeats your point feel free to debate points with me on this. And maybe from these actions her life will change for the better or something, I don't know that's why I am here asking for positive and negative points

No you shouldn't , you have already been given a few negative points of view. As for the positives I doubt you'll get any.

What do you see as the positives??

Tell yourself whatever you want to try and justify what you want to do. But seriously (for once) the peanut gallery (thats us!) is right about this... I have an incredibly hard time coming up with something positive that could come from you doing this...

But if there's no stopping you, you should at least get the parents' blessing, after all its like you're taking their child on a field trip, or mentoring her... so yeah, have a nice chat with her dad and let her know you're taking her to funky town.

What's your logic? I haven't read anything in your quotes that equate to logic. They're just your opinions or feelings. That's what this whole site is about... opinions.

It sounds to me like you want to do this and you're looking for someone to say its OK. Or you're just making this whole story up (which is what I hope) to stir the pot.

Either way, I've said my peace.

Well the easiest as selfish one would be that I get laid or that I get a virgin to have fun with.. .

So you as an 18 year old are willing to ruin a young girls life for self gratification , go have a long hard look in the mirror my friend.

How do you know it will ruin her life?

NO WAY! It's wrong in many ways! First of all it's illegal! A girl at 14 doesn't like you... not to be rude... she's in a lala land. She probably thinks you are good looking and thinks she knows what she wants. She's too young having sex anyway! 14? My god, what are these kids doing these days? My honest answer... just don't do it. If you think you are ready for sex, please find an older girl who is of legal age and use protection!!

Your retarded, go back and read I'm not from USA so its not illegal and at 14 didn't you know what you wanted? I know I did

Perhaps it will ruin this girl's life... maybe it'll make her life.

There's a strong possibility, however, that she may get pregnant. Yes, you can use condoms... and yes, she can be on the pill... regardless, it can happen. If this DOES happen, what next? Keep the baby? Abort the baby? Either way, that'll be a rough experience for the both of you. But then again, seeing from your prev post on here, maybe you won't care.

At the age of 14, she is literally not mature enough (physically and emotionally) to have sex. Yes, she may be fully developed and ready to bear a child, but her brain is not fully formed to make good decisions. The prefrontal cortex of the brain (the part that controls impulses) is not fully developed as an adolescent. Possibly a good reason why teenagers are known to make bad decisions.

Have you seen an emotionally stable 14 year old girl? Let's be honest. I have seen... very... very... few. And even those few girls I have seen, they're just hiding it well. If you sleep with her, one of the few things that can happen is

1. she will think it's nothing. It was just sex. (highly unlikely)
2. she will translate sex as love. She will be emotionally attached to you. However, you think it's a good way to get "laid" and to "have fun with a virgin"... that can end badly.

At this point, look at yourself. You're thinking of taking the virginity of a 14 year old girl to "have fun". You said you had a sister? How would you feel if some 18 year old kid asked you how you felt about "having fun" with your 14 year old sister (if she is 14)? Seriously.

If you want to "have fun" and "get laid," find someone your own age... I'm sure there're plenty of girls your age that can't wait to jump in bed with a guy who's willing to jump in bed with a 14 year old girl.

Ok. Stop answering this freaks post!! He is NOT 18, but only a lying pedophile, trying to get his rocks off by asking stupid obvious questions. You are sick individual who needs professional help! Someone report this guy!

1-Are you ready to be a dad, if the rubber breaks?
2- Are you ready for the parents to shove a shotgun up your a$$, and pull the trigger??

Hell no! Not unless you want to spend the next 14 or so years in prison for statutory rape! And then the rest of your life as a registered sex offender! Tell your friend's sister you have to wait another 4 years ; then you can go for it.

how am I going to end up in jail? Its not illegal where I liveIn almost all jurisdictions in the U.S. it is illegal for an 18-year-old to have sex with a 14-year-old.

Why not? look back thru history and you will find that lots of girls were married and having sex at 14Historically maybe, but it's not appropriate in this day and age.

I'm not from the USA and I know the law of my countryWell OK, that may change things a bit as far as the legal issues go. But at your ages I'd think you'd be doing yourselves a lot of emotional damage going at it with each other. I find it hard to believe that your friend would actually condone this with his own sister. Most men would be far more protective of their 14-year-old sister than that, despite what may be legal in your country.

so she's a friends sister big deal, whats she gunna do bug me if it goes bad for her? And the age difference thing isnt as bad as others like 40 year old guys marry 20 year oldsSorry pal, but you sound very self-centered and it's-all-about-me-ish. And it's not just a question of arithmetic either. A 20-year-old has much more maturity and is far more capable of making informed choices than a 14-year-old. That's not to say that someone is infallible or won't use bad judgment just because they're 20. However, someone who's 20 deserves much more benefit of the doubt than someone who's 14. And let's face it ; if this sister of your friend's was 20 instead of 14 and offering to have sex with you, you wouldn't even be on here asking for opinions; you'd just do it. And if she were 20 it wouldn't be considered inappropriate, at least not as far as age issues go. As it is, she's probably just trying to use you to "turn her into a woman", at least in her eyes. Maybe she's being teased by her peers over still being a virgin, so she's going to "fix them all" by doing it with someone who's 18, no less. Don't fall into it and don't let yourself get played. It's not worth jeopardizing your friendship with her brother and it's not worth the emotional repercussions.

*sigh* im dismissing it because i can find logic that defeats your point feel free to debate points with me on this. And maybe from these actions her life will change for the better or something, i dont know thats why i am here asking for positive and negative pointsIt should be obvious to you by now that there are no "positive" points. You've received plenty of negatives. I have to go along with the others, that you're unhappy because you're not hearing what you want to hear. You're obviously going to make up your own mind and do what you want, one way or the other. But you've been told what you've needed to hear, whether it was what you wanted to hear or not.

talaniman disagrees: You sound like a very smart mouth kid who does care about anything but yourself.He sure does, Tal.

Sometimes it just makes sense to give rude obnoxious posters a reddie then talk about them like a dog. Darn young fool, wish he would come sniffin' around any of my girls. Won't be enough left for the law.

Historically maybe, but it's not appropriate in this day and age.

Couldn't give a greenie... but I agree.

Historically, it was appropriate to club your neighbor, mate with his wife, and then go back to your cave to finish that sheep you just killed that morning.

Go for it.

:-)

It's called sexual roullette... not for everyone, but it seems to be for you.

Ok... the next person who writes "No, it's statutory rape!" is going to get e-slapped!
Read the posts people!
I'm so sick of people in the US assuming that their laws apply everywhere else! If you want to argue a moral point of view, go nuts, but don't try threatening jail-time on people who are behaving perfectly within the law. The age of consent in my country is 16, apparently in his it's 14. You don't have to agree with it, but that's the way it is!

Right... that aside, this might not be the best thing to rush into. She says she's ready, but she's a lot younger than you. And if you go through with this, you'll be her first. Both these things combined are liable to make her clingy. She'll get attached (she probably already is, that's why she wants to do it), but from the sound of things, you won't. She'll want a relationship, and she'll want sex to mean something. She's a girl, it's what we do.
Maybe if she weren't a virgin it wouldn't be so bad for her emotionally. And have you been with a virgin before? I mean, I know it's tighter or whatever, but for the girl it just hurts! A lot! Might feel better for you, but she might spend the whole time crying. Sound like a fun experience to you? The age gap here creates another problem. You're older, and probably a fair size larger than her. You could do some serious damage to the girl.

She's young... might be better to let her experiment with kids her own age. Just a thought.

Kal

Maybe this will help you, I have a 15 year old daughter and if I caught her having sex with an 18 year old much less anyone whether they live in the united states or where the hell they live they wouldn't have to worry about ever having sex again, they would be one step closer to becoming a female!!

Ok... the next person who writes "No, it's statutory rape!" is going to get e-slapped!
Read the posts people!
I'm so sick of people in the US assuming that their laws apply everywhere else! If you want to argue a moral point of view, go nuts, but don't try threatening jail-time on people who are behaving perfectly within the law. The age of consent in my country is 16, apparently in his it's 14. You don't have to agree with it, but that's the way it is!



In actuality it has nothing to do with our laws, it has everything to do with the age and morality, I remember at 14, I had no desire to get intimate, virginity is something sacred, and can wait. As a parent I wouldn't approve of my child having relations in making the mistake I did, although I waited much until I was ready... which was almost 18, and I was married... Had I known the consequences of my actions I would have waited there is really no rush. I don't care what country you are from 14 is just the beginning of your teenage years... It should be with someone special therefore it can wait... emotionally, it may not be the right decision... At 14 there is so much more important things you can be thinking about rather than sex, and you really don't enjoy it until later in life... I think most would agree, our laws are imposed for the safety of our children, and it is logical... I dated someone 10 years older than me, I am now divorced... I am not saying it can't work but some manipulate the situation... 14 is a very vunerable age, and emotionally it can be damaging no matter how mature the female is... Again it's all about morality, and respect... For a young woman at that age 14 is yet so tender, and still innocent.. I am going to just comment that even though the law allows it in your country.. if he had to post the question it really means that deep inside he have second thoughts and her age is a concern otherwise he wouldn't care to get others opinion... By him asking this question it tells me a great deal about him... so with that being said I would say no, don't have sex with her...

Yea but you know he isn't thinking that way, he is on a one way thinking street and it doesn't matter how old he is, we will probably see him on the news before 2 long!!

yea but you know he isnt thinking that way, he is on a one way thinking street and it doesnt matter how old he is, we will probably see him on the news before 2 long!!!!



My whole point is consciously he knows there is something wrong and her age is in fact an issue.. otherwise why would he ask, and try to justify that it's legal... Perhaps, he doesn't get much action and is desperate and anxious... even still NO NO NO... don't ruin this girl life, if you were any friend to her brother's you wouldn't even consider touching her...

my whole point is consciously he knows there is something wrong and her age is infact an issue.. otherwise why would he ask, and try to justify that it's legal... Perhaps, he doesn't get much action and is desperate and anxious... even still NO NO NO.... don't ruin this girl life, if you were any friend to her brother's you wouldn't even consider touching her....

Well there is something going through his head and he is the only one that knows that, it seems like there would be more women around him age that he would be attracted to instead of a 14 year old, seems kind of weird to me!!

well there is something going through his head and he is the only one that knows that, it seems like there would be more women around him age that he would be attracted to insted of a 14 year old, seems kinda weird to me!!!


I agree... I totally agree, I have a daughter and son... If my son asked me this question I would tell him the same, if my daughter tell me this I would probably look for the guy with my... let's just it wouldn't be good.

In actuality it has nothing to do with our laws, it has everything to do with the age and morality, I remember at 14, I had no desire to get intimate, virginity is something sacred, and can wait. as a parent I wouldn't approve of my child having relations in making the mistake I did, although I waited much until I was ready... which was almost 18, and I was married... Had I known the consequences of my actions I would have waited there is really no rush. I don't care what country you are from 14 is just the begining of your teenage years... It should be with someone special therefore it can wait...emotionally, it may not be the right decision... At 14 there is so much more important things you can be thinking about rather than sex, and you really don't enjoy it until later in life.... I think most would agree, our laws are imposed for the safety of our children, and it is logical... I dated someone 10 years older than me, I am now divorced... I am not saying it can't work but some manipulate the situation... 14 is a very vunerable age, and emotionally it can be damaging no matter how mature the female is... Again it's all about morality, and respect... For a young woman at that age 14 is yet so tender, and still innocent.. I am going to just comment that even though the law allows it in your country.. if he had to post the question it really means that deep inside he have second thoughts and her age is a concern otherwise he wouldn't care to get others opinion... By him asking this question it tells me a great deal about him...so with that being said I would say no, don't have sex with her...

Yeah. Good! See that's the kind of response people should be putting up! My point was, don't try to justify your argument from a legal point of view when your laws do not apply. You're arguing morally, so that's fine.
"In actuality it has nothing to do with our laws, it has everything to do with the age and morality" - Many people have been posting about the legal side, which I find both tedious and culturally ignorant. You're at least arguing from a different point of view. But you have to remember that morality also remains a subjective issue. Many people people would see nothing immoral about sex between 2 people over the age of consent provided that they both go about it willingly. Try to remember that not everyone shares the same religious views or cultural background, and opinions about right and wrong can vary greatly.
You can't just say it's immoral, you have to say why.
I'm not saying you're wrong, and I personally believe that the age gap is too big, and she's probably too naïve for this situation... and in fairness to you Jolienoire, most of my ranting is really directed at other posters... but please people, remember that the entire world is not governed by a single set of rules!!

But back to the point... I don't think you should sleep with her.

If my daughter tell me this I would probably look for the guy with my... let's just it wouldn't be good.


Excatly, it wouldn't be good at all.. lol!!

well the easiest as selfish one would be that i get laid or that I get a virgin to have fun with . . .

So, as I suspected, it's all about YOU.

your retarded, go back and read im not from USA so its not illegal and at 14 didnt you know what you wanted? I know I did

Sorry, 14 is 14 no matter where you live. And, the legality is only one of the many things that is wrong with this. And, when I was 14, I didn't even know what I didn't know. And, you say you knew what you wanted at 14, you don't even know what you want at 18. That is why you posed this question. And, I could go on all day, but I won't.

So,to answer you question, in a word... NO!!