I have a feeling I'm suffering from depression.

I'm 20, just been in my first relationship, it was all too serious, I felt trapped got scared and escaped. He claims he loves me, but I don't love him. He wants me back. But I'm unhappy with him in my life and I'm unhappy with him out my life.

I long for the days where I was happy, but I can't remember when they were, I've always wanted a boyfriend, but I can't hack the commitment, as I'm one to myself.

I don't want to do anything in my life, other than sleep and fool around wasting time on the internet. I hate my part time job, I don't really like university, I don't like socialising. I feel trapped in my own world.

How can you deal with depression yourself, I don't want anyone else to find out, and I haven't got the money to pay for professional help.

Money or no, a doctor can help. That who you need to see.

If you don't have money, there are still places you can get help. Is there a student health center at your university? That would be a good place to start. If that isn't available, then contact the local health department and ask them if there are any healthcare clinics for the uninsured in your area. Often there are clinics which provide healthcare that is either free or operates on a sliding fee scale based on your income and expenses. You could also contact a local mental health center (check online or in the yellow pages). There is often financial aid available to those who cannot afford help. You can also contact organizations where depression support groups meet (check the newspaper). The people there can help you find a place to get help.

You can also call the National Mental Health Hotline: 1-800-969-6642

The people there can help put you in touch with someone who can help. When you talk to a doctor or counselor it is confidential, so no one will know unless you want them to. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. Talking to a doctor about this is a good way to help yourself feel better about life again. The doctor can help you find out what exactly is wrong, what is causing it, and what might help.

You can go to your local emergency room and be seen for depression. Call an 800 number. See if there is a crisis center in your community. Call a local clinic or a local university that has a psych program.

Every single place will tell you where you can go and what you can do without insurance or money. Please call and get some help.

It doesn't cost anything to call. You can even call your local ER and ask them for resources... they all have them as they see people in crisis all the time.

Please call.