PDA

View Full Version : Dating before divorce is finalized


newtribemember
Feb 15, 2008, 07:05 AM
I live in GA (a no-fault state) and have filed for divorce. My stbx has replied, not contesting the divorce but contesting the settlement. He wants me to pay off some of his credit card debt (I'm not on his account, never was). Once I first told him I wanted a divorce, he began telling me he couldn't wait to start dating again, that he had always wanted other women throughout our relationship. I had all the plans in the world to not date for at least 3 months after the divorce was final, but things have changed. I have been introduced to a wonderful man who knows of my situation and we are taking things very very slow, we are only dating and it is no where remotely close to being intimate, I am wanting to wait at least until after my divorce is final to think about that. My attorney advised not being public with any relationships until after the divorce is final, which is fine, but it's a very small town and I am so worried while we're out with our group (which is the only way we'll go out) someone will see us and blab. Does anyone know what the legal repercussions may be? No children, not seeking spousal support. I hate to ask my attorney, I'm a bit embarrassed that this came along so quickly.

kandyfruitcake
Feb 15, 2008, 07:20 AM
I live in GA (a no-fault state) and have filed for divorce. My stbx has replied, not contesting the divorce but contesting the settlement. He wants me to pay off some of his credit card debt (i'm not on his account, never was). Once I first told him I wanted a divorce, he began telling me he couldn't wait to start dating again, that he had always wanted other women throughout our relationship. I had all the plans in the world to not date for atleast 3 months after the divorce was final, but things have changed. I have been introduced to a wonderful man who knows of my situation and we are taking things very very slow, we are only dating and it is no where remotely close to being intimate, I am wanting to wait atleast until after my divorce is final to think about that. My attorney advised not being public with any relationships until after the divorce is final, which is fine, but its a very small town and I am so worried while we're out with our group (which is the only way we'll go out) someone will see us and blab. Does anyone know what the legal repercussions may be? No children, not seeking spousal support. I hate to ask my attorney, I'm a bit embarrased that this came along so quickly.

Your ex sounds a darling - over here in the UK, the term would be a 'ponce'. He wants you to pay his credit card debt - lord almighty, this isn't a man you need a divorce from, but a slug that needs to be pushed back under the stone he crawled out from... I'm not sure about divorce laws in USA but over here it doesn't make much difference unless adultery has been cited. Is Mr Slug seeing other women? How long were you married and were you the main breadwinner?

newtribemember
Feb 15, 2008, 08:17 AM
I have no idea if Mr Slug (I love that name, by the way!) is seeing anyone and I certainly couldn't care any less. We knew each other a year and a half when we got married, and were married just a little over a year before I filed... he was starting to show signs of violent behavior towards me, and while he never actually struck me, I wasn't going to wait until he did. The marriage was over long before I filed which is sad since we were married for such a brief amount of time, but he was very critical and verbally abusive. As far as the breadwinner, we made about the same. He is just under the impression since I helped him get into debt (by "letting" him take me out to eat, "letting" him spend money, "letting" him buy clothes, "letting" him pay for things even while we were still dating) I should have to help pay it off. It doesn't matter that I paid for some of the improvements in the home and I'm not asking for that money back and it doesn't matter that he willingly gave his mother his paycheck and she decided if he could have money for the week (which was usually, no) and all of our entertainment and living expenses (except for the mortgage) was paid by me, in cash.

kandyfruitcake
Feb 15, 2008, 10:32 AM
I have no idea if Mr Slug (I love that name, by the way!) is seeing anyone and I certainly couldn't care any less. We knew each other a year and a half when we got married, and were married just a little over a year before I filed...he was starting to show signs of violent behavior towards me, and while he never actually struck me, I wasn't going to wait until he did. The marriage was over long before I filed which is sad since we were married for such a brief amount of time, but he was very critical and verbally abusive. As far as the breadwinner, we made about the same. He is just under the impression since I helped him get into debt (by "letting" him take me out to eat, "letting" him spend money, "letting" him buy clothes, "letting" him pay for things even while we were still dating) I should have to help pay it off. It doesn't matter that I paid for some of the improvements in the home and I'm not asking for that money back and it doesn't matter that he willingly gave his mother his paycheck and she decided if he could have money for the week (which was usually, no) and all of our entertainment and living expenses (except for the mortgage) was paid by me, in cash.


Well, check with the lawyer because of the property issue, but should imagine that such an unpleasant waste of space doesn't hold friends for long and most people's sympathies will be with you, and glad that you seem to have found someone decent. The wimp is tied to his mother's apron strings, but if she's like that when he's married, you can see where he gets it from. You had a lucky escape, sweetheart, imagine if you'd had kids together, it would have been an absolute nightmare... you have fun:)

newtribemember
Feb 15, 2008, 11:42 AM
Thanks! That makes me feel better... And my mom loved the slug comment as well!