Hi,

I am at my wit's end with my 9 year old daughter. I can not get her to work on her homework or to help around the house. She is addicted to MSN, and Iwill not allow her to use the computer until she is done her homework/chores. This is not working though,she will just sit in her roomand sulk. Any ideas how to get her to take her homework seriously.

Not allowing her to use the computer until her homework and chores are done is a good thing.

You say she just sulks? So from the moment she gets home after school and until bed time, she just sits on her bed and does nothing?

Pretty well!

Well, evnetually she will get tired or sitting and doing nothing.

If she plays with any toys, then perhaps you should remove them.

Perhaps you could sit her down at the kitchen table after school and sit with her as she does her work.

But I don't see how she will forgo on MSN (her big hobby) for too long.

Thanks, she is pretty active. She does dance, plays soccer and softball so at least MSN isn't her only hobby.

I am sorry, SHE WON'T

She is a child, you make her

I would sit her down and tell her how YOU feel. Do not blame her or point fingers or make her feel bad. Just explain to her that these are the rules and these are the conseqences to the rules. And exactly what you expect from her. And make sure she knows you love her and that you know she will make the right decisions. Then wait. If she mess up again make sure you stick to the conseqences and let her know you are disappointed. Again make sure you tell her how You feel. Let her know that you think she can to better. If this does not help. Maybe there is something else going on in her life that you two will need to discuss. I would also recommend that you read a book called the Dance of Anger by Harriet G. Lerner, PH.D. I am not saying that you are anger in any way.. it is just a really good book that I recommend to every woman. It deals with situations like this and more.