View Full Version : Trying hard to move on but can't
TheCollector
Feb 13, 2008, 02:01 PM
Imagine the perfect girl. One with all the right similarities and all the right differences. One who can read your mind and can tell exactly what you are feeling. When you are with her you have the most fun you have had with anyone. She inspires you to be a better person and do things you wouldn't normally do. Well I met a girl like this. Fallen completely head over heals for her. And I can honestly tell that she feels the same way. But... she has a boyfriend.. now I'm not the kind of guy to break a couple up, its not me I don't do it. Now this boyfriend is in the army, she met him over the past summer. They had one date with each other then he had to leave for training... the next 4 months of the relationship is over the phone... he comes to see her for a week before he was shipped off to Iraq for a year and a half. And now they talk once over the phone every two weeks and emails a couple times a week. But the way she talks about him I can tell she thinks she is in love. I care about and respect her enough to let her be with him. But I am having the worst time with it. We are in the same major and have all the same classes. So we see a lot of each other. We will both graduate in December and move our separate ways.
So my question isn't really a question. I'm looking more for some advise.. she really is a great friend and I could use some advise on how to move on or should I just remain a friend. Once December rolls around I'm afraid I will lose a good friend.
Thanks in advanced
JBeaucaire
Feb 13, 2008, 03:17 PM
I'd have to say that all is fair in dating when no engagement or wedding has occurred. That's hard to say, but I believe it is true.
However, DON'T be a cad about it. Letting her know that you feel you two have a real connection and you wish she would consider changing her situation before it is too late for you two to pursue it... well, that could be romantic.
But be respectful if/when you do it. You are courting her at this point, so BE A GOOD guy. You believe in trust and honesty, so you'll need to know fully that she is available before you will accept any dating situations. Until then, you are adoring her from afar. <*sigh>
Make sure you have let her know your feelings in an appropriate way before you separate or you'll spend years thinking of her as the one that got away, even if in reality that isn't the case (meaning she never had any intention of leaving her current BF.)
Simple Asian
Feb 13, 2008, 10:49 PM
pal give her the power to choose... as a matter of fact it better for you... b.c if she choose to stay with her boyfriend that mean she really in love with him no matter what and that the best type of girls to find... and you my friend should just stay and be her friend no matter what she wants needs...
and like someone already said... later on if she broke up with her current bf( I said if ) then she might consider to be dating you since you such a good friend and by then you will no for sure that she is the best type of girl for you.. b.c she willing to do anything for the one she like/love...
but in mean time.. just be friend and seeing other pplz ^^
imation
Feb 14, 2008, 06:15 AM
You said its not you to break up a relationship, so don't.
You said she is in love with him... let her be
Unrequited love sucks but that doesn't change anything.
Be her friend, if you are really good friends get her number and keep in contact when you both graduate.
barclayodoggle
Feb 14, 2008, 09:25 AM
She's fair game. Go for it, brother. You should be either all in or all out. You will never have a lasting friendship with her. Your future wife will not allow it. If you don't act on it now, you will regret it forever. If you are rejected, move on immediately. Do not let it drag on. Also, your grammar is abysmal. It says a lot about you. Calm down. You'll be OK.
TheCollector
Feb 14, 2008, 10:56 AM
Also, your grammar is abysmal. It says a lot about you. Calm down. You'll be OK.
Haha yeah, I'm an engineer. What do you expect? Plus forum talk has grammar of its own.