What can we do if my husband has been paying his ex for child support but not through the Child Support System, then his ex files for back Child Support payments and files a Qdro for his retirement and says that he never paid her. My hsuband didn't keep any proof of payments to her. We can request a couple years back but that's it. Isn't this fraud ?

What can we do if my husband has been paying his ex for child support but not thru the Child Support System, then his ex files for back Child Support payments and files a Qdro for his retirement and says that he never paid her. My hsuband didn't keep any proof of payments to her. We can request a couple years back but that's it. Isn't this fraud ?


Only if you can prove the payments through receipts or if his ex admits she received the payments - and it doesn't appear that she's going to do that.

What do you mean by you can request a couple years back but that's it - he does have some receipts?

I'm sure you realize this now but it is dangerous to have these outside-the-Court arrangements for exactly this reason.

I hope he paid by personal check and I hope the checks were clearly marked as support payments. You should be able to get his bank to recover up to 7 years of checks.

As to whether this is fraud, sure it is. Someone smart got to the ex and showed her how naïve your husband was being by not documenting that he was paying support. But can you prove it? Not without documentation.

Yes its fraud but its not the first time I have heard of it. First off you must identify what types of payments were made i.e. were they child support only or for mother and child ( family support ) Also you can use the " discovery process " to find out HER bank records etc. The reason for identifying the payments is because they fall under different categories. Child support is non-tax deductible and Family support is by the person paying it. So get tax records and all recirpts you can from her. If she is saying 10 years went by then ask for 10 years worth of reciepts. If you need to file and ask for a continuance if a court date is set and you still need to give both parties time. If she sees a smattering of records that already conflict with what she is saying then she might drop the whole matter.