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View Full Version : NC works! She came back. What do I do?


AlexPella
Feb 7, 2008, 01:52 PM
It's amazing. NC totally worked. I did the usual begging and pleading and all of that. "Please give me another chance. Please. Please." All that crap.

I did get her back for a few days but then she asked me not to call her and give her space. I was like, "Sure. You go do what you have to do. Figure it out." And that was it. I was in the NC-mentality. No argument. No resistance.

3 days into NC, she calls me... (I only answered because I deleted her ringtone, picture and number off my phone.) It was past midnight, I was sleeping and didn't recognize the ringtone. I totally thought it would be someone else.

I played it like, "Oh, what do you want? Why are you calling me?"

Now she says she wants to be with me and work things out. I'm a little hesitant because I want her to come back for the right reasons, not because she thinks she can't do better or because she's scared to lose me and perhaps thinks she can't find a better guy or something.

Now I don't know how to proceed. I was happy and I did get a sense of relief when she said all those things. But now I have this hesitation.

What do I do? How should I proceed? Please advise...

Romefalls19
Feb 7, 2008, 01:57 PM
Do not show panic in her voice, tell her you wish to take things slow and work out your problems. Do not under any circumstance sweep the reasons for breaking up under the rug! That will only lead you back here with a broken heart. Take things slow and everything will be fine. Happy to hear she came back

HistorianChick
Feb 7, 2008, 02:11 PM
Why can't I give greenies whenever I want to?? I don't want to have to spread it around before giving Rome more! Rah...

Anyway...

I agree with Rome. Don't pass over the reasons she asked for time/you decided to do NC... those reasons are still there, she just realized that she doesn't want to go through life without you... that's awesome, man.

Best advice we can give you is to take it slow. Talk about why you took some time off, talk about what is going on in your head, and what's going on in hers. Don't rush into things... and don't assume everything is back to normal. Address the issues and start fresh.

Glad to hear it worked for you! :)

emopunk7
Feb 7, 2008, 02:13 PM
Just be happy about it. Just do new things or make sure she stays happy. Everything should be fine after that. Try talking but don't focus too much on the problem.

AustProd6
Feb 7, 2008, 05:10 PM
Alex,
Would you prefer her to find someone better, and reject you cause you're a loser compared to her newby? I think not.
What are the right reasons??
Who cares? You shouldn't if you love this girl unless she has some devious reason behind it.
I suggest you take it slowly, re-establish your love for each other and "date" her again. She would probably enjoy some good old fashion courting.

N0help4u
Feb 7, 2008, 05:26 PM
Ask her "Out of curiosity what made you decide to want to work things out?"\
Tell her your concerns that you don't want to just end up apart again "so what can we/I do different to make this work? Then talk everything over. If she says hurtful things about things you might have done that annoyed her don't let it upset you just take it as constructive criticism.

talaniman
Feb 8, 2008, 09:17 AM
If this is the same female, who was having the affair, then you need to leave her alone, and move on with your life, as she cares more for the ex, than you.