I have been in a relationship for 2 ½ years. I thought everything was fine, but it evidentially wasn’t for him. We l loved each other so much, at least I thought. My ex partner is bipolar and is on heavy medications. We were together for a year before I found out I had cancer in both of my kidneys. I had to have 2 separate surgeries to remove the cancer. He stuck by me through it all. It was a very bad time going through this because I could barely walk and the Cleveland Clinic screwed up my first one. This I have not gotten over yet and am going to Roswell for help. Well I was previously married and have 2 children and he was also and has 1. The only difference is that his wife is gay also so he doesn’t have the emotional hatred from his wife. I have been trying to get a divorce for a couple of years but she keeps fighting me and wants all my money all the time to help support her boyfriend of 4 years. We have been separated for 5 years. Well, last month out of the blue my BF kicked me out and said that he didn’t want anything to do with me because I couldn’t afford to force the divorce. It has been complete hell for me because I love him with all my heart and he treats me as though he never did love me. I know he is bipolar but there is no talking to him about it and he treats me like he hates me. I never did anything wrong but love him. I had to have assistance in moving money wise and help moving everything. I can barely walk because of the pain from the surgery 9 months ago. He has helped somewhat but now I don’t even know if I can get all of my stuff. I can’t understand how you can love someone so much and they treat you with no compassion whatsoever. He told me at first that he could not live with someone that he fights with all the time. The only time we fought was when we were out drinking and he went off the deep end and started smashing stuff over someone parking in front of our home on the street. I know he should not be drinking, but he is not one that would listen to anyone.

After dumping me, he said that he was not planning on going out with anyone and maybe down the road we could work it out. Oh, after kicking me out, he felt bad because he new that I was unable to afford a place of my own. So he told me I could stay there and live as a room mate. I couldn’t do this because I love him so much. I explained that I couldn’t live in a house with someone I love so much and just be a live in waiting to be kicked out when he went on his next bipolar kick. It wasn’t my home anymore and I felt uncomfortable staying there. Well, he dumped me right before Christmas and left me drive myself to Cleveland alone for the 3rd time. This time I had to have a small surgery and barely made it home because I was bleeding the whole time. I was exhausted from not being able to sleep because he broke up with me the night before. HE was so mean, telling me he didn’t care anymore about me, my wife, or my kids. I have come close to suicide over this and everything. I still don’t know whether they got all the cancer. Every time I talk to him he seems to get nastier. I just want to get my stuff. I thought we could try and get back together after things settle down. Well, he brought over a truckload of my stuff and to me he was seeing someone. This just ripped my heart out again and I have not stopped crying since. I know he just met him and was not cheating while we were together. HE told me that he didn’t want me to go crazy and try to kill myself over this and that he would rather see me die of cancer. That hurt but I know how he can say stuff but not mean it in a mean way like that. He said that he would date and that time heals and we might be able to work things out. Last night he pretty much told me he was tired of waiting around and it was completely over. It has only been a month and I am really feeling deserted now. I am trying to set up a meeting with a psychologist as soon as possible. I guess I am writing to you because of the article I read on the net. I don’t know if maybe he has really hated me through all this. Is this just a bipolar phase? Maybe me having Cancer was too much. Am I just wasting my time and should try to forget him? I am so lost and lonely. There is only one gay bar in town and it is the only place to meet someone. This is where I saw him hugging and kissing his new BF. It killed me even though I knew they would probably be there. But I guess I just had to see it. The people online won’t even talk to you so that is a waste.

I guess I need to find out if this is a bipolar moment or am I just wasting my time?

You need some alone time, badly. This story is just way too much to actually be able to sit down and read it, and give you advice and make it all beter. You're balancing your divorce, kids, relationship, health, job, living arrangements all at the same time. You should do one of those at a time if you can. The last thing you should be worried about is your relationship with that guy, as there are much more pressing needs at the moment.

You need to find your own place, settle down for a little while. Take care of yourself first. Then you can slowly move on with other parts of your life. But if you can't stop yourself and regain control of yourself, it will be hard to do everything else. Take care of that divorce asap. Get yourself situated in some residence. Get visitation rights to your kids (or keep that maintained if you already have it going on).

BTW, bi-polar doesn't affect your actions. He moved on with someone else, right? That's not a bi-polar trait. I wouldn't waste my time with him if I were you. You should be spending more time with yourself, and learn to love yourself FIRST, and everyone else SECOND. Selfish, yes? Well it works in the long run.

And I know you can't just snap your fingers and make all the good things happen. The best you can do is gather ideas and opinions and work from there. So I hope this opinion and others like it can help you. GL with yourself!