View Full Version : Is this all there is to life?
Bardonicus
Feb 4, 2008, 11:46 AM
I have come to a place in my early adult life where I feel that I have little to no meaning. Every day I wake up and go to work (which I do enjoy) and come back home finding myself thinking the same old thoughts. It feels like my career has become the meaning in my life which is the last thing that I want. I have goals. I have lost a lot of motivation to complete them because when I do get high marks for that exam or when I stop that bad behavior then I'm left with a feeling of emptiness. Maybe a 2 second feeling of achievement then nothing. People often think that I failed after an exam etc. because I don't look happy when in actual fact I get 95% average.
Setting other goals have become boring and doesn't excite me anymore. Is this as good as this gets? Is this it? If it is then I fear that I may not survive it.
Choux
Feb 4, 2008, 11:59 AM
So far you have learned to be one way... competitive student... in life, and you have come to see yourself only as good as your last test score. You are young and have a whole life of living, learning, and discovery ahead of you! Life is not easy for anyone; we all have to make an effort to make the best life for ourselves.
These are the areas that you have to begin learning about... :)
1. Study different religious paths(without becoming a fanatic)
2. Add sports and lots of exercise to your life.
3. Develop your sexuality in a healthy manner with other people(no porn).
4. Have one altruistic outlet.
You will start enjoying life as you begin to develop yourself further. :)
Best Wishes in 2008,
mafiaangel180
Feb 4, 2008, 12:01 PM
Isn't it funny how our society places so much on career? Then, once you have it one, you are wondering what the heck else to do...
Yeah, I know what you mean, sometimes I'm not motivated and sometimes things don't excite me. But I guess sometimes you just got to force yourself to do something. You might find that you actually like it.
For example: I thought I would volunteer at hospice, which I just recently started. Somedays, it feels tough to get myself motivated enough to do it. But I'm glad I did, because I get to help people who need it. Maybe you could do some volunteering, check out some cool and inspiring movies and music, read a new book, get into something that's new for you. Get in the car and take a random road trip.
Bardonicus
Feb 4, 2008, 12:05 PM
Thanks for the advice Choux. I used my studying as a example because that is the last goal that I have reached. I will seriously be thinking about taking a more spiritual approach to things. I'm sure that's half the battle already won.
I was just looking at goals online to try and find something that I can aspire to and I found something that really made my heart jump. "Kissing in the rain" and "Fall asleep watching the stars next to somebody I care about". Just then I realized that I need romance in my life. I need to share my life with somebody that I can care about and somebody that can care about me. If you haven't picked it up yet, yes I am single and I have been for about a year. I think it's time that I get back in the game. How can I go about meeting that somebody special? How can I get myself back into the game without being thrown in with a bunch of players? I want something meaningful.
Bardonicus
Feb 4, 2008, 12:07 PM
There seems to be so much that I am missing out in life. I just need to figure out what I want I guess.
mafiaangel180
Feb 4, 2008, 12:13 PM
Just a thing to think about... relationships and romance is good and all... but your happiness and whatever it is you seek shouldn't be based on other people. Because they come and go. And you really don't want your happiness to be a rollercoaster like that.
Bardonicus
Feb 4, 2008, 12:20 PM
That's also true!! Why is this so hard? How can I find out what I want in life? What makes me happy?
mafiaangel180
Feb 4, 2008, 12:38 PM
That's also true!!! Why is this so hard? How can I find out what I want in life? What makes me happy?
I would just recommend getting out there, live life to the fullest, be the best person you can be, be true to yourself, and experience all the cool stuff out there.
Bardonicus
Feb 5, 2008, 09:15 AM
The trouble that I'm having is that I'm not finding any pride, happiness or excitement in anything that I set out to do anymore. I suppose this is because I don't really know what I want but then again I could be wrong. I understand where your coming from but how can I live life to the fullest.
mafiaangel180
Feb 5, 2008, 09:54 AM
The trouble that I'm having is that I'm not finding any pride, happiness or excitement in anything that I set out to do anymore. I suppose this is because I don't really know what I want but then again I could be wrong. I understand where your coming from but how can I live life to the fullest.
Do you think you are suffering from depression by any chance?
Bardonicus
Feb 5, 2008, 12:02 PM
I had depression back in my teen years and I underwent therapy and medication. I still have to manage it but it's safe to say that I'm back to normal. Since I know the feeling all to well I can safely say that this is not a case of being depressed.
It's just that I don't know what I want to do with my life. What really makes me happy? What is worth going for?
N0help4u
Feb 5, 2008, 01:20 PM
Bardonicus
I am 52 years old and I kind of feel the same way. Every year I think it will be better next year and it isn't. I feel like I am stuck like in the Groundhog Day movie.
I am stuck because I haven't had a regular job in 8 years. I can't get anywhere financially,
Nothing goes right for me. Then my vehicle breaks down every November and I can't get it fixed until April so I hybernate. So my advice is, you like your job that is a bonus many people go to work day in and day out and literally hate it. Work toward your goals. I see so many people that say they want to do this and do that 'someday' BUT then they get their paycheck and blow it at the bar, or eating out and don't concern themselves about HOW they are going to afford what they want to do someday. Then they get laid off and lose their house and everything they worked so hard for. So live simple and save for your dreams. Spend time studying things that interest you like Choux said, study religion, politics, psychology, photography, a sport or whatever to keep a healthy interest in life.
I finally got a job I start tomorrow so I have to take my own advice now.:rolleyes:
Bardonicus
Feb 6, 2008, 10:25 AM
Thanks for that amazing post. That really opened my eyes. Already I can say that this post has been of tremendous help for me and I'm sure that it will be for others as well. One last thing that I still have a problem with: How do I know what I really want? Is the happiness really in the act/achievement or is it a state of mind? If so then how can I reach that state of mind?
firmbeliever
Feb 6, 2008, 01:03 PM
........l. One last thing that I still have a problem with: How do I know what I really want? Is the happiness really in the act/achievement or is it a state of mind? If so then how can I reach that state of mind?
I can relate with your feeling of not knowing what you want.
I never had ambitions even when all my friends in school were planning on doing this and that when they grew up.Some wanted to teach,others to write,sports and so much more.
I was lost even then, on what I wanted to do... there are so many options yet so little time to do them all.
Life runs by us and before we know it we are at the crossroads of choosing again.
I have worked at different jobs at different times in different fields,I was content in the duration of each job.Things worked out that I wasn't to be in any of them for too long.
I used to think that I was like a tossed leaf in the wind.Sometimes it stays in one place when the winds die down but soon there is a gale and off it is again to another place...
I am a mother now and I stay at home now,I still haven't chosen what I want to be in "Life".I am happy where I am as a mother and wife.
Now, I know where I want to be, I have a goal in mind,but a long way to go when and if I get there. It is nothing materialistic or worldly although I do work on making a good life for my small family in this life.
I think what you are looking for is peace,contentment in what you do,where you are and who you are.
Peace and contentment is the one thing that is not available from outside yourself,your friends cannot give it to you,your loved ones cannot gift it to you and you, yourself cannot buy it from anyone or work physically for it the same way you work for a living.
Peace and contentment comes from deep within you,when you know that you cannot always have everything you want,from knowing that sometimes things will be hard to bear,there will be losses and gains,love and laughter,tears and happiness.
simoneaugie
Feb 7, 2008, 12:48 AM
Feeling whole is intertwined with being. Thinking and action are things we do. Being is where it's at. You saw "kissing in the rain" and "fall asleep with someone under the stars." To do those things you have to be there. There doesn't have to be a partner present, but you must be there in order to do it. Be.
Bardonicus
Feb 8, 2008, 12:05 PM
That's makes sense simoneugie, it really does and thank you for your story firmbeliever. Action is definitely a key factor in this whole process but before I can action something I need to know what I want. That's a huge part of the problem. I don't know what I want. I have many self help books that can help me with taking action but none of them speak about what I want in this life or how I can go about knowing/finding out what I want. I have searched the web and read many books but none of them tell me how to do find what I want. Why is this so hard? Or better yet how can I go about doing this. I have spent some time in contemplation and meditation but I have still to find an answer on this.
simoneaugie
Feb 8, 2008, 10:23 PM
Then the search is a spiritual one. Your soul isn't surprised by anything. Your immediate self can be. Ask your spirit/soul to lead you. Have the courage to follow.
Cheshire2008
Feb 8, 2008, 10:40 PM
How about you find your passion by volunteering give of yourself to others find a cause dear to your heart. Who knows maybe you will meet someone like minded like yourself.
Get out and experience life. Don't let it pass you by.
You could run or jog outside.
Join a photograph class
Take a cooking class.
Join a bike club
Volunteer at the museum be a mentor join a mentor club for boys.
The rest will follow.
Where your passion is so is where your heart is.
Good Luck
Bardonicus
Feb 9, 2008, 03:27 PM
Thanks for the great advice, how can I mentor without knowing who I really am or what I want? It has become clear to me that I still don't truly know who I am or what I want. The one thing that has put me off majorly form socializing is the fact that I drive a scooter. I don't know why but it's something that has really taken a huge beating towards myself esteem. It's all that I can afford at the moment and it's just who I am. Why is it that I have this poor self esteem about something that shouldn't matter?
firmbeliever
Feb 10, 2008, 03:01 AM
Bardonicus,
It was a pleasure to tell you my story...
But you do not seem to have understood a point I made.
The feeling of satisfaction does not come from what you drive or what you wear alone,it is something that comes from deep inside you.
It depends on knowing yourself and knowing that you are doing right.
If things depended on having enough money or the best education and a rich life,then all the rich will be satisfied and happy in life.We see different, many of those who have too much are dissatisfied or unhappy enough to pay loads of money to find a simplistic lifetyle,a thatched cottage somewhere with basic necessities.Or they are looking for thrills which threaten their very lives.
I agree with Simoneaugie, it is a spiritual quest you are on.
I am not sure who mentioned religion (Was it Choux?),I agree there too.Knowing and understanding life in a religious way helps many sort things out better,especially in regard to a life after death. It helps take the focus away from worldly things and acquiring things in a materialistic way to a spiritual outlook on life.
Bardonicus
Feb 10, 2008, 06:42 AM
I can agree with that, so I'm on a spiritual quest of some sort. I'll give it a go and I'll post back my results in a few days to let you guys know what I have found. Thanks again for all the help.
Bardonicus
Feb 10, 2008, 12:37 PM
What are the so called rules of life? I mean life is just one big complicated system which has it's laws and it's effects. How can I go about learning the rules? Surely you need to know the rules before you can be good at the game?
firmbeliever
Feb 10, 2008, 03:01 PM
Learning the rules of life... that is a tall order.
My suggestion would be start with different religions views on life. I could provide a link for my own beliefs maybe someone else could help with theirs.
The Purpose of Life by Khalid Yaseen , Does Life Has a Purpuse? (http://www.sultan.org/articles/purposeoflife.htm)
Hope you find, your purpose in life...
Bardonicus
Feb 11, 2008, 11:23 AM
Religions go on faith and belief and are so radically different on some rules and so similar on others. Surely there has to be a set of universal rules that applies to all mankind. It is those universal rules that I am interested in learning.
Cheshire2008
Feb 11, 2008, 01:37 PM
I would try a book " Many lives many Masters" I love that book its by a psycologist
Brian Weiss
Have fun
Bardonicus
Feb 14, 2008, 12:19 PM
I am still trying to get a hold of it, thanks it sounds like a great book. I think my problem might be with self love and the relationship I have with my true self.
L-001-06-H
Feb 15, 2008, 08:09 AM
I have come to a place in my early adult life where I feel that I have little to no meaning. Every day I wake up and go to work (which I do enjoy) and come back home finding myself thinking the same old thoughts. It feels like my career has become the meaning in my life which is the last thing that I want. I have goals. I have lost a lot of motivation to complete them because when I do get high marks for that exam or when I stop that bad behavior then I'm left with a feeling of emptiness. Maybe a 2 second feeling of achievement then nothing. People often think that I failed after an exam etc. because I don't look happy when in actual fact I get 95% average.
Setting other goals have become boring and doesn't excite me anymore. Is this as good as this gets? Is this it? If it is then I fear that I may not survive it.
Try going out, meeting people, perhaps you'll find the love of your life... if you do.. just remember, love is just an emotion... was the meaning in my life...
forevernow
Feb 22, 2008, 12:57 AM
Bardonicus, you are on the quest to find yourself. You're searching for happiness, a state of being, and that happens when your thoughts are subsided and your mind is quiet. You can check this out by seeing that when you are "kissing in the rain" and "fall asleep watching the stars next to somebody I care about" you are Being in the moment, not thinking about anything, searching for any answer, or worrying about financial situations.
You get there by continuing on the quest that you're on right now, which is the irony. So be in the moment of your quest to be in the moment. Keep looking for the answer to your questions "What really makes me happy? What is worth going for?" from every possible sources, until you find that the answers can only come from within you. Most of the answers are to show you ways to distract you from your thoughts so that you could be in the moment and be happy through the various activities. The only true happiness you find is when you have found yourself.
Enjoy your journey and have fun with this quest that you are on right now.
psiloveyou
Feb 22, 2008, 03:17 PM
I can honestly say lately I've been feeling the same. (I'm new on here by the way.)
I'm planning to start university in September, and am also working part time. And I spend a lot of time questioning whether this is all there is to life. I don't feel any sort of achievement. My work is a decent place, but it all still feels like a chore. I guess its just that you have to find out what you really want out of life, and once you figure that out, you're more likely to go after it instead of just following what you have to. I'm not quite there yet but I'm trying lol.
Bardonicus
Feb 24, 2008, 06:48 AM
I'm sinking further and further into this hole of unhappiness and I know that if I don't find an answer soon then I might not... I don't know. Is this really all there is? If it is then is it even worth it?
Bardonicus
Feb 24, 2008, 07:13 AM
I read so many posts of people all with the same problem and I have to say that it does not help to know that I am not alone anymore, If anything it is a confirmation that things are not going well with humanity. There is a huge group of people out there just like myself all having the same problem yet there is nothing being done. Not by ourselves or by anybody else. What are we waiting for? Some Messiah to take all of this away? It's not going to happen. Waiting around for an answer or something to happen is killing me. Sticking around and doing the right thing doesn't pay off. That much experience has taught me. What the hell is up with everybody? How can you just be going through routine and be happy with it all? Aren't you seeing what I'm seeing? Are you insane? Or am I insane? Just give me the truth and I'll deal with it but this waiting around and enduring this life that should be good. Waking up and wondering if there will come some time that things will change. Some huge event that will make life worth living. Not that I want to kill myself. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for living but clearly I'm missing something that is obviously very important to living this life with purpose and passion. No more of that 'you have to find your passion' crap. I tried.
psiloveyou
Feb 24, 2008, 01:17 PM
I don't agree with people who say 'find your passion'. I agree with you. Life seems to be monotanous. But sadly nowadays many people have accepted that as a way of life- you work to live. You don't have time for anything else. It shouldn't be like that but it can't be changed until people accept that that's how it is and work together to find a way to change it. Your not insane. Your feeling what many others are feeling, and we all need help in changing that. Sadly I don't have the answers, and I know my opinion doesn't help, but I just had to say something.
Violet31
Feb 24, 2008, 02:46 PM
I´ve reading this thread with interest, because I seem to have the same problems.
I used to wait for things to happen, but nothing happened for many years, so now at fifty, I´m reevaluating my life.
It wasn´t always like this. I think life goes in cycles. In my thirties, I led an adventurous if a bit frivolous life. I travelled all over the world, I had a good husband and good friends, fun job to do and had enough means to work as an artist. I remember waking up every day thinking: What fun will there be today?
It didn´t last - but it lasted a long time, though. Now I´m used to my boring life, but still - I´m a beliver in fate as well as making your own luck. I think the secret is being with people who are good for you and not taking life too seriously.
Easier said than done! Also, I think I had more fun because my moral code was not too strickt then. I had platonic lovers, lots of free time and lots of quality time with my husband. We had a semi-open relationship, not too uncommon in Europe where I live.
Something I wouldn´t dream of doing now. Maybe it´s the prize we pay for being totally responsible... but I hope not!
I think the fun is out there. Really, I do.
Violet
forevernow
Feb 24, 2008, 04:38 PM
Bardonicus, if you want the quick answer, read a very short book called, "No Attachments, No Aversions" of Lester Levenson. Then go away by yourself for at least 3 months and search deep within your heart for the answer you're looking for. I promise you, if you really search within, you will not go without. Otherwise, no external answer will satisfy your question.
Bardonicus
Feb 25, 2008, 10:21 AM
I have heard of that book. I'll try to get it. Please if anybody else is reading this and they feel the same then post your opinion or even just let us know that you feel the same way. That way we may even be able to find an answer.
Bardonicus
Feb 27, 2008, 12:19 PM
Okay, so I read the book forevernow. There seems to be three main discoveries that he made regarding life.
1) It's loving rather then being loved that is the root of happiness.
2) Intelligence and thought is the activator of ANY and ALL things that happen in life.
3) We are all part of the same source. All drops in the same ocean.
It seems that he overlooked one or two things in his teachings.
1) Everybody can't make practical use of these teachings in the same way. It seems that every person has their own way of using the above knowledge to free themselves. What works for you does not always work for me.
2) Letting go of every other emotion except the feeling of loving is over simplifying things a bit. I mean we have dozens of emotions and this guy is teaching to let go of all of them except one. So we just ignore 95% of our being? Unreasonable.
The most important thing that I do think that he missed but almost touched on it was self love. That really seems to be the key behind everything that he discovered. Self love. Sounds very new age bull but I think that this may be a overlooked state of mind.
Question: How can one increase self love? How can one cultivate that state of mind?
forevernow
Feb 27, 2008, 04:39 PM
Now that you have some idea of the direction and see a few things through your own inner vision, it is correct that not everyone prefers to make practical use of what one person did, but everyone can. You will probably go through various methods of finding the ultimate answer, and there will probably be one that you like the best, which is good. The main point is to head in the right direction to find your answer.
Your second point requires a bit deeper understanding of the relationship between desires, wants, feelings/emotions, and thoughts. Desire to live creates want for security/survival. This want of security/survival creates wants of approval (love) and control. If someone we love does not love us, we try to make them love us through some kind of control. If situations don't meet our approval, we try to control it. From these three wants--survival, approval, control--come all our (negative) emotions. The most basic ones are apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride. From these emotions arise every other emotions. These emotions create thoughts.
Love is not an emotion. It's always there. It's who we are. We can check this out for ourselves. When we love someone, like our first love, we feel very happy because our mind is very quiet at that moment. We have no worries, fears, no other emotions except love. We just want to be there, in that moment. The main thing is to totally quiet the mind so we can feel our happiness. So, from your question, we cannot increase that which we are, but we can remove what we are not--the emotions. To cultivate this state of mind is to have the intense desire for it--which you already have. What is left now is to find the method that you like best which will take you there.
What other concerns do you have?
Bardonicus
Feb 28, 2008, 12:39 PM
So every other feeling except love isn't part of us? How can't they be part of who we are? Those emotions are definitely real and reside within myself.
psiloveyou
Feb 28, 2008, 02:41 PM
I totally agree with bardonicus about this to be honest.
I agree that love is a natural feeling that we all have.
But for some people, jealousy/anger etc are also a natural thing.
Its our emotions that shape who we are as individuals and if we ignore these emotions all the time, we will be ignoring our very self and will become an empty shell of a person who is dead to any kind of emotion apart from love.
Love cannot survive on its own. Love is born from jealousy and lust, and forms into a pure emotion that provides us with happiness. But love can also prove to be a bad emotion if someone does not love you in return or you cannot find how to love yourself.
So without other emotions, how would this even work?
Violet31
Feb 28, 2008, 03:16 PM
Bardonicus,
Maybe we think too much instead of live life.
I don´t think we should work and work and be unhappy, waiting for something wonderful to happen. Each day should have enough happiness in the small details. The rest will follow in time.
I was once told that it is wise to live each day as we would live a whole year. Embrace the day in the morning and ending it at night when we sleep to get ready for yet another day.
I´m trying to make the quality of my life better. This morning I started having a different brand of coffee, listened to a different brand of music and had lunch in an unexpected place. I went to the gym after work but stopped at a store and bought a new gym outfit.
Tomorrow will be totally different, but it´s miles away yet.
I am winding down for the night and I will be watching a favorite movie just before going to sleep.
Violet
forevernow
Feb 28, 2008, 04:54 PM
Bardonicus, this subject does not make sense intellectually unless we have direct experience. We must find out for ourselves what exactly is happiness, where is it, and how to cultivate more of it. And when we know the way, we must let go of our intellect as this is the biggest hindrance. The expression of looking for happiness via the mind is like crossing a river on the back of an alligator. It will never take us across the river.
Once again, love is not a feeling nor an emotion. It is a natural state. Feelings are what create thoughts, miseries, and the confusions we are in now. Once we let go of all our feelings, what we have left is the natural state of love, bliss, and imperturbable peace. Each person must prove this for him/herself. No one could help us; all they can do is to point out the direction.
You asked if feelings are a part of us. Maybe the most important question is "Who are we?" "What am I?" and once we get the full satisfactory answer to the question, then we can see clearly what feelings are and what do they have to do with us.
So, does this get clearer yet?
kiki_doki
Feb 28, 2008, 05:17 PM
Hello there,
Ahhh man, it must be the time of year, I mean when the sun is shining and the days are longer problems don't seem to matter as much! I have also found myself going a bit flat. For me the problem is that I have recently finished my degree, something I have aimed for for 7 years(had a couple of children during the process). Coming to the end was amazing, the graduation was amazing and then what? Well nothing really, life goes on, I still don't know what I want to do, or if I have an inkling then I don't know how to get there.. its all pretty frustrating I tell you! Its like I'm living the same day everyday,every week! I really try hard not to dwell on though and am pushing myself to do things out of routine at a bid to change the rigor and mundanity that has become my life. I also find that praying helps, I don't want to push religion down your throat or convert you, but are you spiritual? It often helps, I have friends of different denominations and this is the one thing we all share... as for following your passion, I think not, I think its more about convenience, its convenient for me to work around my kids and so that is what I'm seeking out... what else do you enjoy doing in your life? Maybe start doing it more... a job/career is your bread but its not your life, it doesn't define who you are... (please be warned cheese to follow):i think you need to tap into who you are and what else you want to do or enjoy doing (other than work). Save up, give up your job and go travelling, or something to that effect!
Cheshire2008
Feb 28, 2008, 08:25 PM
You know when I feel disillusioned with life and find myself asking what is it all about.
All I have to do is go to a place where people are not as fortunate as me.
You can do this by helping out being a mentor giving of yourself to your community.
It is very humbling but yet uplifting to see people struggling and still full of hope.
You can volunteer at a hospital or a soup kitchen. The world is a mess
You could make a difference in someone's life. This is where I receive more then they do
The satisfaction of helping someone else no stings attached. Try it
Since I have some people in my life in recovery NA and AA I can go sit in a meeting
They have open ones and wow my life sounds great. I have no addictions
Believe me life is very good!
Bardonicus
Feb 29, 2008, 12:53 AM
Finding small ways to kind of make yourself happy could definitely help but the main question is, unconditional happiness. That's the biggest problem. I want a inner peace that's there despite what happens externally.
forevernow
Feb 29, 2008, 02:28 AM
This audio might describe exactly what we are all searching externally for the happiness that can only be found inwardly:
Introduction (http://www.releasetechnique.com/hearsound/lester3.rm) (Real Player file)
For further details:
Explanations and Techniques (http://www.releasetechnique.com/downloads/Xd887v3Q8325/LesterExplainsTheSecret.zip)
Keep It Simple (http://www.releasetechnique.com/downloads/Xd887v3Q8325/PrivateLessonsWithLester.zip)
The Ultimate Goal (http://www.releasetechnique.com/downloads/Xd887v3Q8325/TheUltimateGoal.zip)
Are there still further questions?
firmbeliever
Feb 29, 2008, 03:43 AM
Finding small ways to kind of make yourself happy could definitly help but the main question is, unconditional happiness. That's the biggest problem. I want a inner peace thats there despite what happens externally.
Inner peace is the one thing humans have been searching for centuries.
People have taken various paths to achieve inner peace,some through accumulation of material possessions and wealth.Some through drugs; others through music,or through meditation.
Some look for inner peace through their husbands and wives, others through their careers and some even through their children's achievements. The list is endless.
Inner peace is for the most part of our lives very elusive; we never seem to be able to hold onto it for very long.
We sometimes make the mistake of assuming personal pleasures for inner peace,spending wealth,sexual relationships,food,friendships,our children,success etc.
These pleasure though do not last long and the feeling disappears when the stimulus is gone.Wealth decreases,relationships may fail,food takes its toll on our bodies,friends may become distant,children grow up, and we don't always succeed.
I agree,these pleasures do make our life our worthwhile at that moment in time,but once it is gone we are left with the feeling of despair and if our lives become too predictable we get bored and restless.
All things in our environments effect our moods and inner peace,a neighbour quarrels we find ourselves becoming angry on one or the other's behalf.An accident occurs and we worry about those loved ones travelling the same streets.
There is so much in this world that hinders us from calm thoughts.
We must understand that inner peace is not something we can achieve by looking out into the world,our search will be futile.
But then if we look inside us and become aware of what our soul needs then we are on the path to peace.
Once we get to the stage where physical trials may bring tears to our eyes,a pang to the heart,but that inner peace will hold strong through the trials and beyond.
Whatever happens outside of our spiritual selves will happen and we will wade through some and fly through others,but our inner peace will remain intact.
Bardonicus
Mar 1, 2008, 06:17 AM
We must understand that inner peace is not something we can achieve by looking out into the world,our search will be futile.
But then if we look inside us and become aware of what our soul needs then we are on the path to peace.
Once we get to the stage where physical trials may bring tears to our eyes,a pang to the heart,but that inner peace will hold strong through the trials and beyond.
Whatever happens outside of our spiritual selves will happen and we will wade through some and fly through others,but our inner peace will remain intact.
I know all this! That's the problem. I want to know how I can find that inner knowledge? "By searching within yourself" can drive you insane and is not really an step by step guide.
firmbeliever
Mar 1, 2008, 09:57 AM
I know all this! That's the problem. I want to know how I can find that inner knowledge? "By searching within yourself" can drive you insane and is not really an step by step guide.
Personally for me I find my step by step guide in my beliefs,which is why I had previously recommended studying a religion.
I am on a path to peace,it takes working at it everyday,but I am at peace within me with the knowledge that I am following the truth.
I would still recommend searching for the truth regarding life and death.This life is short and it will be over before you know it.
I believe in an eternal life after death,this guides me to do certain things in this life in order to have the best in the next.It also helps me overcome the trials of this worldly life much easier now than a while ago when I wasn't a "firmbeliever".
forevernow
Mar 2, 2008, 08:45 PM
What you are searching for is enlightenment. For a step-by-step guide, you can search into the various methods. From the East: Jnana Yoga, Raja or Kriya Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Karma Yoga, etc. From the West: Release Technique/Sedona Method, surrender and devotion to your God, unselfish service to the world, etc. The path that is best for you is the one that you like best. Search into these methods and test them out for yourself. There are much more methods than these listed here. Find out for yourself, as no one will be able to give you the exact step-by-step method that suits you.
Are there more questions?
Bardonicus
Mar 4, 2008, 11:37 AM
I have searched allot of methods but I haven't found anything that I can say I align with 100% yet. Is there any place that you can recommend for me to search?
shatteredsoul
Mar 6, 2008, 04:13 PM
I think everyone has moments or periods of feeling just like you. YOu are yearning for something more but cannot decide which direction to go, or why its so hard to be happy.
It is a need for awareness and understanding of God within.
About thirteen years back, during a time confusion and conflict in my own life, I was driving down my street headed home. I thought I almost ran something over. I stopped to see what it was, opened my door and saw it was a book. I looked at it, it was torn a bit but I was drawn to it. It was called, A Conversation With God. I brought it home but didn't read it immediately. BUT a few days later, I picked it up and just opened it to a page and it was like the book was talking to me about my life and my issues. Needless to say, it was lifechanging for me. It literally transformed my perception of my existence and what power I contain within. I became aware of a God within me, not just something external. I realized that I was goodness and love and that was a reason to be happy. It was like I was supposed to find this book and read it. It was meant to be.
I have always had religion in my life and a sense of spirituality, but this was the beginning of a growth that I had yet to understand. Our souls want to grow and want to be nourished. In this country we focus on the external, material things. WE make our appearances more important than what we hold within us. As a society, we get so many mixed messages about what equates happiness and well being. Is it looks, money or fame? I think not. YEt we strive for unnecessary status and acknowledgement. HOWEVER, the answers and the happiness don't always follow fame or fortune. WE can realize those answers by looking within. It's that simple.
You must rediscover the wonder and miracle of you and your spirit. Feel connected with the gifts you have been given and read about everything that interests you. If it is a spiritual need, read about it. IT doesn't matter as long as you get nourishment. If it is following a dream, make active, purposeful steps towards that goal and keep moving forward. This will bring a sense of accomplishment and purpose to your life. This brings happiness within. Open your heart and your mind to all people, be compassionate and wise. This will bring you a peace and joy.
Whatever restlessness you are feeling, take it as a sign from within that you need to feel fulfilled and loved. Loving yourself and allowing your spirit to grow, would be a great start. I wish you peace within!!
forevernow
Mar 7, 2008, 12:52 AM
Pick one method and take it all the way. The goal is to totally quiet the mind so that the happiness, joy, and peace that are always there manifest themselves. Whatever method you take will end up answering the final question, "What am I?" Upon getting the answer to it, even a partial answer, one feels much happier than before, and all one needs to do is to finish up the journey.
Knowing that the ultimate goal is to totally quiet the mind, then we choose whichever method that we like that take us the fastest to this goal. Since thoughts culminate into tendencies, or habits, one method is to eliminate all reactive tendencies and long-ingrained habits. If we do this everyday, then it quiets our mind every time we eliminate a tendency or habit.
Since tendencies culminate into feelings, a faster method is to remove all feelings. If one thinks that once one eliminates all one's feelings one becomes a zombie, then first eliminate the feelings then find out if it is actually true instead of using the mind to reason it out. Our goal is to eliminate the mind, which is unwanted thoughts and feelings. If one wants to use this method, which is a very fast method, then look into the Release Technique of Lester Levenson.
An even faster method would be to remove one single fear, the fear of dying and the fear of living (two sides of one coin). Once this fear is totally removed, one finds that happiness lies on the other side of fear and death.
A very top method, which is holding onto "What am I?" until the answer comes, at the exclusion of all other thoughts. If a thought comes in, strike it down. Ask, "To whom is this thought? Well, to me...then, what am I?" and remain quiet until another thought comes in, and then ask the question again. Keep this up until all thoughts are eliminated. Keep this in the background of one's mind even if one is going through the daily activities of life. A very concentrated method, yet very few are able to hold this kind of concentration. Once one has used other methods quite successfully, one is better able to concentrate and then use this method.
These are the methods that can be used every day and very effective to see the results. If possible, use only the methods where the main source of help is yourself. Depend not on someone or something to quiet your mind and take you to the goal.
A short overview, do you still have further questions?
vijayeswaran1985
Mar 7, 2008, 03:45 AM
I have come to a place in my early adult life where I feel that I have little to no meaning. Every day I wake up and go to work (which I do enjoy) and come back home finding myself thinking the same old thoughts. It feels like my career has become the meaning in my life which is the last thing that I want. I have goals. I have lost a lot of motivation to complete them because when I do get high marks for that exam or when I stop that bad behavior then I'm left with a feeling of emptiness. Maybe a 2 second feeling of achievement then nothing. People often think that I failed after an exam etc. because I don't look happy when in actual fact I get 95% average.
Setting other goals have become boring and doesn't excite me anymore. Is this as good as this gets? Is this it? If it is then I fear that I may not survive it.
What you need now is to connect just with yourself and not the people around you. You need to understand yourself better and accept yourself.
Have you tried sitting silent for some time and introspecting? If not, then do it. There is a lot of power in silence. Read this book for more tips. In The Sphere of Silence (http://www.inthesphereofsilence.com)
Vijay Eswaran
bob90
Aug 15, 2009, 04:15 PM
Intro: How good it is to be alive, to feel that you are accomplishing something and that your life has real meaning! Nobody really enjoys an aimless life- a life without purpose.
Around the earth, millions of persons are working hard and trying to find real happiness in living. Yet there comes a time when people stop and ask, “Where am I really going?” It may seem that life is merely a matter of living a few short years raising children to carry on the family name, and then the children in turn repeat the same cycle, IS THERE NO GREATER PURPOSE IN IT ALL?
FRUSTRATIONS OF THIS LIFE LEAD MANY TO FRANTIC SEARCH FOR MEANING (6 min.)
Young and old often question and reject age-old goals of mankind………Idividuals of great power / wealth –still emptyness
Wealth has contributed to anxieties, not always satisfying (Ec 2:4-11; w77 59; w88 8/15 18; w86 6/15 3,10)…….. Solomon / Look up Proverbs 23:4/ Read/then……Fly's away - If not when we are alive- when we die
Fame is only transitory; people are soon forgotten (Ec 2:15,16; w77 78-79; w87 8/15/ 10-11) If you achieved the worldly success of admired celeberties, would you really be happy and satisfied?…A very successful Hollywood actress said: “I've had my taste of wealth and all the material things. They don't mean a thing. There is a psychiatrist that goes with every swimming pool out there, not to mention divorces and children who hate there parents.
Power is temporary; person may be replaced by rivals; surely will end by death (w76 626)
Beauty also quickly fades (g86 1/8 14-15)Media – emphasis on looks- it sell/ make money- care products….Here is a point to ponder: Aren't most of friends rather average looking? Some of them by worldly standards would be considered unattractive. Younger ones what about your parents? Would either of them be material for the cover of a fashion magazine? Probably not. But does that change your feelings toward them? In fact, once you come to appreciate them for what they are and not for how they look, you probably seldom even think about there looks.
Life accomplishments do not amount too much in eternal time
Soon one is gone and forgotten (Ps 103:15, 16)
(Psalm 103:15-16) 15 As for mortal man, his days are like those of green grass; Like a blossom of the field is the way he blossoms forth. 16 For a mere wind has to pass over it, and it is no more; And its place will acknowledge it no further.
This is not a cynical but a realistic view
If this life is all there is, we are not even a drop in stream of time or a speck on scales of eternity (w73 325-30; g87 1/22 12) Many struggle with impending death on the horizon
HOW THE RESURRECTION HOPE HELPS US (15 min.)
People have long clung to hope of life beyond death (g88 7/8 4-7)
Many believe in doctrines based on immortality of soul (rs 379-80; sh 52-6)
Some think that good go to heaven; others believe in transmigration of souls, Nirvana (gh 103-5; w90 5/1 18-19)
Bible shatters all such false teachings (Ec 3:19,20; 9:5,10; w90 5/1 19-23)
So, is this life all there is? Is there no hope?
Bible assures us that God will resurrect many people (Acts 24:15; g78 11/8 3-5; ts 166-75; lp 116-18)
This is not a fanciful, unfounded hope
Jesus promised resurrection will occur under his Kingdom (John 5:28,29)
He demonstrated that humans can be resurrected (Luke 7:11-17; w 86 12/15 8-9)
But what about a person long dead, whose body has disintegrated?
God can create that person; suitable body and thoughts restored (vi 28)
DNA in single cell contains coded instruction for billions of cells (ce 48)
Creator of DNA has capacity to remember life pattern of a person if He chooses to do so
This life need not be all there is (g80 5/22 5-9; g67 6/22 6-7)
Resurrection is a means of accomplishing God's purpose
God purpose for obedient to have eternal life in perfection
Such life would have meaning (w73 326)
Would not be cut short or frustrated by death (g70 10/8 14-17; w84 8/15 4; g90 4/22 9)
The damage done by Adamic death is not irreversible
Resurrection can take the sting out of death (1 Co 15:55)
Helps person to understand one major thing that gives meaning to life (Ec 12:13,14; w78 1/1 31)
Page Two (Is this Life All There Is)
OUR LIFE TODAY CAN BE ESPECIALLY MEANINGFUL (5 min.)
We live at a time when people can escape ever dying
Now live in 'the conclusion of this system of things' (Mt 24:3; g88 4/8 7 [box], 11 [box]
Can enter right into endless life (ts 151-65; w90 5/1 28)
As to the resurrection, the question is Will God choose to remember a certain person and resurrect him?
For each of us the question is, Will God find me worthy of preservation into the new world under Christ's Kingdom?
If answer is yes, then this life, even now, is not all there is
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES KNOW THAT LIFE HAS REAL PURPOSE (9 min.)
They know that this life is not all there is; have confidence in new world
Not groping to find the meaning of life (g80 10/22 6-11)
They have found that following God's counsel is best way of life
Apply God's Word in their own lives; results are happy families
One who becomes a witness is part of a loving congregation of people
Although Witnesses are not living just for the present, they enjoy a rich life (w73 401-6)
Love for Jehovah moves Witnesses to obey him despite opposition (2 Ti 3:12)
Reporter Milo Kominek in book Even Under the Sky There is Hell (1971) described integrity of
Witnesses in Communist labor camps in Czechoslovakia during 1951: “I will always remember with admiration and recognition Jehovists, mostly young boys, who refused military duty and were condemned for it. Even here they remained in their faith, that work for war is sin, and they refused to work in uranium mines. Commanders of the camps used everything they had at their disposition to force them to do the work, but everything they tried was in vain; most of them would rather die than work in building the Soviet atomic threat. The chief of the camp Palacek made them stand for days in front of headquarters in snowdrifts in the [-] 30° C. [-22°F.] winter weather, pouring water on them till they were frozen. It was a terrible sight, which will haunt me till I die” (w74 373)
Belief in resurrection strengthens one to be faithful despite danger of death (2 Co 1:8,9; Heb 12:1-3)
Witnesses know that this life is not all there is
NEED TO CULTIVATE THE RIGHT VIEWPOINT (10 min.)
Those who know that this life is not all there is should reflect this conviction by their associations and activities
In first century C.E. Christians believed in resurrection
Did not accept pagan teaching of immortality of soul or live-for-today philosophy
But some began to deny the actuality of the resurrection; hence, these adopted the view that this life is all there is (1 Co 15:12, 32b; w82 4/1 17-18)
Paul strongly refuted this view (1 Cor 15:3-8, 13-19; w81 12/15 18; w84 10/1 30-1)
Avoid association with those who deny the resurrection or think that this life is all there is
Such people would urge you to compromise your faith (1 Cor 15:33; w88 6/15 18-19)
They would encourage you to live only for the present (ts 12-15)
Jehovah's Witnesses do not live just for the present
Anticipate grand future in new world now near
We invite you to attend meetings regularly at Kingdom Hall and then to qualify to share in our public preaching
This is most worthwhile thing one can do now; it is not in vain (1 Co 15:58)
bob90
Aug 15, 2009, 04:15 PM
Intro: How good it is to be alive, to feel that you are accomplishing something and that your life has real meaning! Nobody really enjoys an aimless life- a life without purpose.
Around the earth, millions of persons are working hard and trying to find real happiness in living. Yet there comes a time when people stop and ask, “Where am I really going?” It may seem that life is merely a matter of living a few short years raising children to carry on the family name, and then the children in turn repeat the same cycle, IS THERE NO GREATER PURPOSE IN IT ALL?
FRUSTRATIONS OF THIS LIFE LEAD MANY TO FRANTIC SEARCH FOR MEANING (6 min.)
Young and old often question and reject age-old goals of mankind………Idividuals of great power / wealth –still emptyness
Wealth has contributed to anxieties, not always satisfying (Ec 2:4-11; w77 59; w88 8/15 18; w86 6/15 3,10)…….. Solomon / Look up Proverbs 23:4/ Read/then……Fly's away - If not when we are alive- when we die
Fame is only transitory; people are soon forgotten (Ec 2:15,16; w77 78-79; w87 8/15/ 10-11) If you achieved the worldly success of admired celeberties, would you really be happy and satisfied?…A very successful Hollywood actress said: “I've had my taste of wealth and all the material things. They don't mean a thing. There is a psychiatrist that goes with every swimming pool out there, not to mention divorces and children who hate there parents.
Power is temporary; person may be replaced by rivals; surely will end by death (w76 626)
Beauty also quickly fades (g86 1/8 14-15)Media – emphasis on looks- it sell/ make money- care products….Here is a point to ponder: Aren't most of friends rather average looking? Some of them by worldly standards would be considered unattractive. Younger ones what about your parents? Would either of them be material for the cover of a fashion magazine? Probably not. But does that change your feelings toward them? In fact, once you come to appreciate them for what they are and not for how they look, you probably seldom even think about there looks.
Life accomplishments do not amount too much in eternal time
Soon one is gone and forgotten (Ps 103:15, 16)
(Psalm 103:15-16) 15 As for mortal man, his days are like those of green grass; Like a blossom of the field is the way he blossoms forth. 16 For a mere wind has to pass over it, and it is no more; And its place will acknowledge it no further.
This is not a cynical but a realistic view
If this life is all there is, we are not even a drop in stream of time or a speck on scales of eternity (w73 325-30; g87 1/22 12) Many struggle with impending death on the horizon
HOW THE RESURRECTION HOPE HELPS US (15 min.)
People have long clung to hope of life beyond death (g88 7/8 4-7)
Many believe in doctrines based on immortality of soul (rs 379-80; sh 52-6)
Some think that good go to heaven; others believe in transmigration of souls, Nirvana (gh 103-5; w90 5/1 18-19)
Bible shatters all such false teachings (Ec 3:19,20; 9:5,10; w90 5/1 19-23)
So, is this life all there is? Is there no hope?
Bible assures us that God will resurrect many people (Acts 24:15; g78 11/8 3-5; ts 166-75; lp 116-18)
This is not a fanciful, unfounded hope
Jesus promised resurrection will occur under his Kingdom (John 5:28,29)
He demonstrated that humans can be resurrected (Luke 7:11-17; w 86 12/15 8-9)
But what about a person long dead, whose body has disintegrated?
God can create that person; suitable body and thoughts restored (vi 28)
DNA in single cell contains coded instruction for billions of cells (ce 48)
Creator of DNA has capacity to remember life pattern of a person if He chooses to do so
This life need not be all there is (g80 5/22 5-9; g67 6/22 6-7)
Resurrection is a means of accomplishing God's purpose
God purpose for obedient to have eternal life in perfection
Such life would have meaning (w73 326)
Would not be cut short or frustrated by death (g70 10/8 14-17; w84 8/15 4; g90 4/22 9)
The damage done by Adamic death is not irreversible
Resurrection can take the sting out of death (1 Co 15:55)
Helps person to understand one major thing that gives meaning to life (Ec 12:13,14; w78 1/1 31)
Page Two (Is this Life All There Is)
OUR LIFE TODAY CAN BE ESPECIALLY MEANINGFUL (5 min.)
We live at a time when people can escape ever dying
Now live in 'the conclusion of this system of things' (Mt 24:3; g88 4/8 7 [box], 11 [box]
Can enter right into endless life (ts 151-65; w90 5/1 28)
As to the resurrection, the question is Will God choose to remember a certain person and resurrect him?
For each of us the question is, Will God find me worthy of preservation into the new world under Christ's Kingdom?
If answer is yes, then this life, even now, is not all there is
JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES KNOW THAT LIFE HAS REAL PURPOSE (9 min.)
They know that this life is not all there is; have confidence in new world
Not groping to find the meaning of life (g80 10/22 6-11)
They have found that following God's counsel is best way of life
Apply God's Word in their own lives; results are happy families
One who becomes a witness is part of a loving congregation of people
Although Witnesses are not living just for the present, they enjoy a rich life (w73 401-6)
Love for Jehovah moves Witnesses to obey him despite opposition (2 Ti 3:12)
Reporter Milo Kominek in book Even Under the Sky There is Hell (1971) described integrity of
Witnesses in Communist labor camps in Czechoslovakia during 1951: “I will always remember with admiration and recognition Jehovists, mostly young boys, who refused military duty and were condemned for it. Even here they remained in their faith, that work for war is sin, and they refused to work in uranium mines. Commanders of the camps used everything they had at their disposition to force them to do the work, but everything they tried was in vain; most of them would rather die than work in building the Soviet atomic threat. The chief of the camp Palacek made them stand for days in front of headquarters in snowdrifts in the [-] 30° C. [-22°F.] winter weather, pouring water on them till they were frozen. It was a terrible sight, which will haunt me till I die” (w74 373)
Belief in resurrection strengthens one to be faithful despite danger of death (2 Co 1:8,9; Heb 12:1-3)
Witnesses know that this life is not all there is
NEED TO CULTIVATE THE RIGHT VIEWPOINT (10 min.)
Those who know that this life is not all there is should reflect this conviction by their associations and activities
In first century C.E. Christians believed in resurrection
Did not accept pagan teaching of immortality of soul or live-for-today philosophy
But some began to deny the actuality of the resurrection; hence, these adopted the view that this life is all there is (1 Co 15:12, 32b; w82 4/1 17-18)
Paul strongly refuted this view (1 Cor 15:3-8, 13-19; w81 12/15 18; w84 10/1 30-1)
Avoid association with those who deny the resurrection or think that this life is all there is
Such people would urge you to compromise your faith (1 Cor 15:33; w88 6/15 18-19)
They would encourage you to live only for the present (ts 12-15)
Jehovah's Witnesses do not live just for the present
Anticipate grand future in new world now near
We invite you to attend meetings regularly at Kingdom Hall and then to qualify to share in our public preaching
This is most worthwhile thing one can do now; it is not in vain (1 Co 15:58)
meggy86
Sep 30, 2009, 06:49 PM
I think the only answer to the question "is this all there is to life?" is no, it's not. Waking up, going to work, and performing other such ritual actions day after day often seems to have no purpose, no point. When I sit and think about this for a while, I am forced to come to the conclusion that this life cannot be the end. There has to be more, because if there weren't som higher power or divinity, some heaven which we are working to reach, there wouldn't be a point to life. And so, whether it is true, I myself believe that there is a God out there and that death isn't the end to life. Without this faith there would be no point in my living.
notaboutme
Jan 26, 2010, 10:56 PM
When the questions like "Do i have a purpose in life or is this it?", or when you feel that void that EVERYBODY feels at some time or another, whether they admit it or not, next time this type of feeling comes, look around you, ask yourself who is nearest to you in your life? If maybe you live alone or don't really have many friends,(u can be perfectly honest, you're asking yourself) Well then who do you work with everyday, or who do you go to school with? You get the point... Well next time you're with them, purpose to make their day go as well as you can. What can you do to help the person right next to u? Now obviously you have cares of your own... but when you remember, maybe say a few kind words, it could affect a person's whole day, maybe just pick someone up a coffee, to you it's 3 bucks, to them maybe it's the most friendly thing that anyone's done in the week. You never know. Now it probably sounds like this makes no sense, because how would thinking of someone else benefit you... Well you might be surprised. You might find that as you look on the cares of people around u, not as a law but because what better thing do you have to do, you might find that your days are more fulfilling and your happier overall. Sure u'll forget and get caught up in your own problems and cares, and maybe go an hour, day, week, month, before you remember that you were going to try to look on other people's cares more than your own, well then you just purpose to start at it again... of course I can totally see how this wouldn't make any sense and you probably haven't even read this far... but if you consider your concerns to start, an emptiness or void in your life, maybe the question of whether there is a bigger purpose in life, or whatever you call that feeling, well if you consider how much time you spend wondering these "bigger than life" questions(consciously or unconsciously) what do you have to lose by trying that for even a week? I would submit that maybe if you purpose to put a smile on the people around u's faces(maybe with nothing in return) u will find more meaning in life. PS: there's a lot I want to write about how this connects with faith and God, but I understand that that kind of language can turn away people very quickly, so I'll wait) good luck
bfay1993
Sep 6, 2010, 05:04 PM
I honestly believe we are all so lost and less than satisfied with our lives because nothing is REAL anymore. We go to these jobs where we have to be someone we aren't most of the time. We spend more time at work than with our families all to pay for luxuries we don't really need. Strip it all away and get back to nature. Away from TV & all these mobile devices we have our faces shoved in most of the time. I feel like we are all blind and pre-programmed to live this "normal" life that is actually completely insane. We buy and buy and buy! How about making your own things for once and truly appreciating the accomplishment after. So much easier said than done.
onetrueway
Dec 22, 2010, 08:39 AM
Find out if there is a God and if so what was the purpose and plan He had for our lives. If there is a God our existence and value stems from Him. In other words if you search yourself you will lack the answers and feel empty. Answers like what happens to men when I die. If you search the answers in God your find out that who you think you are is not really who you are and what your living for is not really what you should be living for. That is if you believe in the God of the bible.