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View Full Version : Am I ready to be a surrogate mom


Libby82
Feb 4, 2008, 05:58 AM
Hi, I'm 25 years old and never had any children yet. My best friend who has three kids already was ovarian cancer. Her fiancé doesn't have any kids. My friend and I was thinking on me being the surrogate mother. Since her doctor told her that carrying a baby and even delivering would be very dangerous. With the three kids, she had a rough deliver. I get mixed advice from friends. I was wondering if I'm ready to be one. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

mjl
Feb 4, 2008, 08:04 AM
That's only a question you can answer. Only you know if you are ready. I suggest if you haven't already, looking into it and talking some doctors and educating yourself on he topic so you can answer your question on being ready.

buggage
Feb 4, 2008, 08:16 AM
One thing I suggest you do some deep thinking on, is the emotional side of things. You have yet to have any children, and so you don't yet understand the bond that a mother forms with their unborn child. Though you would be carrying the child for someone else, it doesn't matter, it would feel like your own(and I'm guessing you would be using your eggs, since she had ovarian cancer, so in reality, it would be your child).it would be emotional for all three of you (and possibly for her other kids as well)you would be using her fiance's sperm, so that could cause some mixed emotions for all three of you. But the biggest factor is when it comes to the end of the 9 months... after you have fought through morning sickness, aches and pains, felt the child moving within you, and experienced the miracle of birth... then having to relinquish the child to your friend and her family... you might still have a say in how to raise the baby, but in the end, it will be their child, and what they say goes... are you ready to face that? Also, are you ready for the effects bearing a child will have on you, physically and emotionally? The huge surges of mood swings, possible stretch marks, loosening of muscles, changes in every aspect of your body. I am pregnant with our third child, and there are days I think " why am I doing this again...." hah, but then I know from my other two, that in the end, it was all worth it, to have these children in our lives... I don't know how I could deal with it all, knowing I would have to give the baby to someone else... just some things to think about.

cerisa
Feb 4, 2008, 12:48 PM
How much commitment do you see in that union? I don't see a lot. They aren't married, she already has three children. You could be ruining your life on a whim.