View Full Version : How do I get her back
shlort21p
Feb 4, 2008, 03:37 AM
My wife and I split up cause I didn't feel I could trust her and now that we are divorced I realized that I actually could trust her so I have been trying to get back together with her she says that she still loves me but isn't in love with me and then she says that she is done... we are both 24 and were together 7 years we also have a five year old son together... she says that she likes her freedom and doesn't want to give that up... what do I doo to get her back
MasuBhat
Feb 4, 2008, 04:23 AM
I don't think there's much you can do but just be there for her when she needs you... this may one day make her realize that she wants to be with you.
Or if u really want to be with her that much.. why not take a chance on this coming feb 14?. Valentine's day!
JBeaucaire
Feb 4, 2008, 07:45 AM
The things you did to yourself to make yourself jealous led to a divorce? That's pretty selfish. If you can admit that, then you can change it, you're still young enough to adjust your behaviors, so you still have a chance at that.
Focus on you. All those things need to be non-existent. She will need to see that in you for a long time before she'll ever consider letting you back in, and good for her.
She loves you because you're most likely an OK parent, so not a total loss. But not "in love" is your fault.
The things she loved about you originally and likes now, do a LOT of that without aiming it too directly at her, let her see that it's just "you." Dote on the kid and be inclusive of her when you do it.
Make no sexual advances, ever. It could immediately undo all the progress you may be making. She will signal to you in the future when you're making headway, and your history with her could bring it home quickly at that point.
Keep in the back of your mind at all times that you were the untrustworthy one. You let your "thoughts' kick her out of the house. She knows that, too. Don't be that guy, ever again.
Feb 14 is a date for lovers and you aren't. I'd be careful of that suggestion above. But Valentine's candy for your kid (kind you know SHE likes!) is probably a good idea.
George_1950
Feb 4, 2008, 08:21 AM
shlort21p asks: "what do i do to get her back"? Why not show her how good you are with other women by dating and establishing good relationships with them; when she sees that, rather than you being sorrowful and pouting, she may again be interested.
Sammy68
Feb 4, 2008, 09:50 AM
Unfortunately, if someone refuses to get back with you, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. If you stay focused on it, it will drive you nuts. Trust me!
Perhaps she just needs some time on her own for awhile.
Both of you were very young when you got married.
You'll know if she changes her mind and wants to come back.
In the meantime, just try to keep yourself busy, enjoy your life, work on creating or maintaining your circle of friends.
My suggestion would not be to jump right back into the dating game if you are still in love with her. Sometimes that can complicate things.
Be free for awhile and take this time to find yourself. Try to work out the insecurity issues that you have had in the past with trust. Try to resolve why you feel that way so you hopefully will not experience this issue again - whether it be with her or someone else.
ISneezeFunny
Feb 4, 2008, 09:15 PM
... psychicreader, from what I understand, you're not allowed to advertise your business here.
MasuBhat
Feb 4, 2008, 09:57 PM
Yes valentine's are for couples but also for the guy to show that he loves her girl... mm how do I explain.. valentine doesn't have to be the couples it's also a day to show your love for the one you love.. so if you love her than wel... you can do something this valentine.. and for your kids also show them you love them..
ISneezeFunny
Feb 5, 2008, 12:06 AM
I'm a bit against the v-day idea... mainly because it's supposed to be a grand gesture... but if it backfires, you really don't want it to backfire on v-day. It just adds more pressure to the girl and adds a kick to the groin if you get rejected.
To me, it's a bit like proposing in front of a large crowd. Adds pressure to the girl, and if she rejects, it's just THAT much worse.
MasuBhat
Feb 5, 2008, 02:40 AM
o.. yeah.. yes you are right in a way.. but hey!. I wasn't talking about proposing was I\? I was just saying to make it well make that day umm.. make her feell that you still care for her smth like that not propose!
MasuBhat
Feb 5, 2008, 02:40 AM
And I thought that fter devorce there's no going back?!