I had this long distance boyfriend, which who there were a lot of problems. I though we had broken up a few months ago, but he came here over Christmas, and it was great (the first days, although I doubted on my own feelings a bit).

He went back, and really wanted me to go over New Year, but I didn't have the money and decided to wait. He got sad of course (he wanted to pay my ticket, but it was too expensive, and I don't feel like letting him pay), but I promested to go there in March, even if I am very, very scared of airplanes (but he needed me to prove my love for him, and fly over the ocean anyway), I bought the ticket, and now we only had to wait...

The problem is, he didn't let me have contact with my ex. I discovered before he came here, that he is inviting out a lot of girls on Facebook, but since he says it's only friendship, I ignored this.

A couple of months ago, he added one of his ex that he said he hated, "she was such a ". I got really sad first, because he didn't let me doing the same, but OK, I forgave him that. Not a big deal. But a few days ago, one month before I must go to him in the country far-far away, he asks her to meet on FB! I mean, he knew I would get really hurt by that, and why asking her out then? There is a difference in meeting female friends and dating, and it has always felt like he is rather doing the latter.

I told him I got very hurt by that, and got the answer that "You are controlling me too much, you have forced me being unfaithful!" Well, I didn't complain about his friends, but apparently he had been unfaithful, so I told him to go to hell.

He later wrote some SMS about that he loved me and trusted me, and would never have dumped me if I would have been dating my exes.

I feel very uncomfortable, because now I don't know if I've done something wrong or not.
I still have the ticket, but he is always trying to get everything on his terms (so when he couldn't convince me into sex, too early for me, he started to search for someone else), and I am so afraid of going there to someone, that doesn't really care about my feelings.
Should I do anything? What am I supposed to think about the whole situation? (Yes, I know I might have overreacted, but he hasn't asked a single male friend to meet on FB. All these girlfriends are new... )

Marlene it sounds to me like even after you met he would have still done what he did... men are such pigs when it comes down to it(and Im a guy for petes sake... lol).He should have been honest with you but he wasn't and instead gave you a guilt trip by saying he wouldn't have dumped you if you were dating your exes... what a joke... save the ticket or try to cash it in and find a guy that really respects you for the woman you are

Cash in that ticket, and go on a shopping trip, he is laying the blame on you to hide his bad behavior. Have no more contact with this selfish pig, and you have nothing to prove to him, nor does he deserve you. But you deserve better, so let him wonder why you have dissappeared, and moved on. That's what he deserves from you.

As the song goes and you should dedicate it to him... dont know what you got.. til its gone

Wolfcandy and Talaniman: thanks for your answers and advices. I still have such a bad conscience, he is updating "What I am listening to"- songs on Facebook, and all songs are either "I'm dumped-but-I-love-her", or "I failed when I was supposed to be the one"- songs, and he is even pointing out how good these songs are to listen to now. I feel like such a...

But I will cancel those tickets, he can come here if he wants.

Hi Marlene,

I almost cried after reading your story and believe me when I say my ex do the same thing with me.

He flirts with girls online (call them as friends), even broke up with me so he can sleep with one of them then after a month telling me he still loves me and that it was I who drove him to do it because I don't trust him.

Men like these loves manipulating people. They say they love you, even go out of their way to prove it to you or the other girls but deep inside them, its nothing because it's a game. Funny thing is, its convincing you because you're the type who believes in the goodness of others. Men like them are not good they take advantage. They emotionally abuse you and puts you in a never-ending guilt trip. When they finally get their satisfaction or high, they will leave you for someone else (younger and more naive).

Could we be talking about the same guy? LOL

By the way, don't go to him. You will be wasting your money for a guy who will never change for anyone including you. Is this the type of guy you want to emotionally invest on?

Good luck!