A yr ago at c'mas, my ex broke into my house, assaulted me and broke my ribs, cheekbone, and re-injured a pre-existing hip condition. The police arrested him the next day at his home, but just had him write a statement and let him go. They gave him a no-contact order (although I requested a restraining order, which I understand would specify how far away he has to stay) and conditions of non-consumption, which include not drinking/drugs, and not to be on the premises of an establishment that serves alcohol.

He continuously breaks this order, and is in the bars almost everynite. If I go out for an evening and run into him and his new g/f,(who threatens to hurt me) he refuses to leave until I call the cops. Every time I call the cops, they don't come, or not for a long time. And even if they do come, they just escort him out, without arresting him, as per his N/C order. I have stopped calling the police because the last time I called, I was made to feel like a nuisance, and told they had more important situations to attend to rather than pulling a drunk out of a bar. I made them well aware of the order, and gave dispatch the case file # every time I called. I, in fact, overheard a conversation between my ex and the cop one time, and the cop told him that he should just go to another bar, because I was out for revenge! JUSTICE, would be a more correct term! This has been going on for over a year, and the cops have only arrested him one time and released him within the hr. He went straight back to the bar.

My problem now is really with the police and the crown prosecutor. Our next court date isn't until the end of April, but I can't get anyone to return my calls or even give me a plan of action for court. The last time I talked to the (canadian) crown prosecutor, she told me that since the judge has given my ex so many postponments, and since this happened so long ago, that my ex will most likely get nothing more than a slap on the wrist and maybe a nominal fine. (he also purgered himself in court in his last appearance) She said that unfortunately the judges in our relatively small city usually don't go too hard on first offenders in assault cases.

I am infuriated that all of the authorities involved are treating this like someone stole candy from a store or something! Does anyone have any advice or ideas on how I can get a better outcome to a horribly overlooked crime? I would appreciate any thoughts on how I might be able to ensure a better outcome when the court date arrives.

Hello star:

I've been thinking about your question for a while. I don't think you're going to like my advice.

I hate what he did to you. If all he gets is a slap on the wrist (and you've already been told that's what he'll get), he's going to do it again. Next time, it might be worse than your ribs.

I hate the cops. They're not there to help you. Oh, they'll be around to examine your body AFTERWARDS. And they'll all stand around and furl their brows and cluck their tongues think they're doing good work (they watch TV too). But, they don't do anything to protect anybody.

If you lived in a bigger city, my advice would be different too, but you don't.

So, I'm going to advise you to do one of TWO things. 1) Since the cops aren't going to protect you, you'll have to do it yourself. SEE a Jennifer Lopez movie called "Enough". I don't especially like her, but I loved this movie.

And, you really have to do it full blown. If you are not of a disposition to DO that, then you've 2) got to move.

excon

Hi Excon,

Yes, isn't it funny that the person who commits the crime seems to have more rights than the victim in our court system.

I was at home getting ready for c'mas and minding my own business, and the next minute I find myself with a bunch of broken bones, and forced to spend c'mas at home alone in bed, while I'm sure he was out celebrating and having a good time. I now sometimes feel like I'm the prisoner in my own home because I can't count on the police to protect me if I happen to run into him. My vehicle has been torn apart piece by piece, but the cops won't take prints. I get hang up phone calls at all hrs of the night, but the cops won't trace the calls. Every time I hear a noise in the middle of the night and get scared, I hestitate to call the police because they don't really do anything anyway. And, to think that I may be forced to move because the cops don't provide me with adequete protection just infuriates me!

He just became a Canadian citizen 2 yrs ago (from the UK) but I've lived in the same city all of my life. For me to leave would just be like giving him another feather to put in his cap! He has had 3 impaired driving charges in the last 2 yrs... 2 of which his lawyer got him off. (one was even in a company truck at work) He has been thrown in the drunk tank numerous time for bar fights. There should be a probationary period after you become a Canadian citizen, in which you must keep your record clean or be deported.

As for the crown prosecutor, it doesn't seem like she is even interested in doing her job. She is there to represent the people! It seems like she is just rolling over for the judge (no pun intended, ha) and not even going to try and put up a fight for my rights.

The public servants(?) get pd a lot of money to do their jobs. Why is it that it seems that I have to do their work for them? I have never seen the movie that you suggested, but I get the idea. I might rent it and watch it tonight. If it is about the impression that I get from the title, my problem would be that somehow in the long run, I would be the one behind bars and he would be running free. I refuse to give him the satisfaction. I have had a clean record all of my life and plan to keep it that way.

Bottom line, it all sucks! So if anyone out there knows how to light a fire under the prosecutors (and cops) , by all means... bring it on! :)

Have you sued in in civil court for all the damages, and the "pain and suffering"

Yes, I wish I had a better answer for you, but often with the laws the way they are, the criminal has more rights than the victim does

Actually, no I haven't started those proceedings yet. I have been thinking it over, and wondering if it's worth the grief. I also spoke with the police about doing just that, and they told me not to waste my time. They said even if I got a monetary judgement against him, there would probably be a snowballs chance in hell of collecting.

So, I really have to think hard if I want to waste more time and energy dragging this loser to another drawn out court battle. It just drains the energy right out of me. I'm normally a fighter for what I think is right, but after awhile it gets to be too much.

I am still considering it, however.

It is the showing him you can, and the police are the last people to ask about a civil issue. Also if you have the money, you may want to hire your own attorney, not up on this in Canada, but in the US, there are motions you can file in the court, to force them to go to trial.

Also, don't I have to wait until after the criminal proceedings? Maybe that was just the impression I got. I not sure. Might it be better to file in civil court after a conviction in criminal court? I don't know how a lot of these things work. I have never been in a court room in my life, and unfortunately I, like a lot of people, get info from TV... sad to say. Usually court TV rather than Law and Order or something, but still TV.

From what I've heard, I can also bring my own attourney to the criminal trial. The problem is that I don't have the money, so my only other option would be a public defender. I don't know if that would be of much use since they don't get paid and therefore don't really have a stake in the outcome!

From what I've heard, I can also bring my own attourney to the criminal trial. The problem is that I don't have the money, so my only other option would be a public defender. I don't know if that would be of much use since they don't get paid and therefore don't really have a stake in the outcome!


I am not aware that you can bring your own Attorney to a criminal trial as other than a bystander because you would be represented by the People (or whatever that is called in Canada) at a criminal trial.

I doubt you'd qualify for a public defender because you are bringing the charges, not defending them.

And I know you don't want to hear this - but sometimes if you want to stay alive and (relatively) sane YOU have to pick up and move.

Do you have a "Victims Services" in your region? I live in Ontario, Canada and the Victim Services played an integral part when my daughter was assaulted by a boyfriend in her home while her 2 yr old son slept in the next room. He had a record (had been to prison before for the same crime) got 18 months less time already served.

It's sad, the crown attorney told us that if my daughter had been a doctor, lawyer or teacher the time in jail would have been much longer but because she's a woman and this was only the first time he'd assaulted HER this is all the time he could get him.

People get sent to jail for longer periods for abusing animals!

Thanks, you cleared that up a bit for me. Yes, you are right. I don't know why it didn't dawn on me that a public defender is someone assigned to the "defendant" when he or she can't afford one. I guess I've just got so much info swirling around in my head, that I forget to think logically sometimes :S

I was told, but once again by the police, that I could hire my own lawyer alongside the crown prosecutor. But now that you mention it, that doesn't make sense either. The crown prosecutor is there to represent the people. The procedures in Canada, for the most part, are pretty much the same as the U.S. The C.P. would be the same as your D.A.

And yes, I do realize that it may come to the point where I will be forced to leave :(

You may always call crime stopper in metro toronto. Also if you're too scared. Then get a gun license and pepper spray if you are that insecure. However I must say that Laws in Canada aren't strict so brace yourself for the unfairness. You do know that even if you kill a person, you only get 10 years in jail right?

Oh flossie, I so sorry to hear about that! and with a young child present makes it all the worse. You are right! Michael Vick will get more time than someone who beats a child's mother. (not that Vick doesn't deserve every damn thing he got too)

I don't understand what difference it would make being a Dr. Lawyer, or a street person for that matter! It's a human being with rights!

Yes, we do have Victims Assistance here, (AB) and I hate to sound so negative, but they really don't offer much help! They are all volunteers and work out of the police dept. and get a lot of their info from the police. They are very nice people... but as far as being of any help to me, they just aren't. All they have really offered was to take me on a tour of the courthouse/room, and come with me to the trial for support.

Thanks Littlebear,
I take all of the advice I get and weigh it carefully with all the other info I have to go on. I'm just trying to cover all of my bases, and at the same time appreciative of any info that I have that is the wrong info, or just some ideas I may not have thought of before to help for the best outcome.

Please move as far away from him as you can. The next time he crashes into your home he just might finish the job he came there at Xmas to start! If you lived in USA he would have been charged by the police for attacking you and would be sitting in jail now - not just free to drink and party on.

Like it or not, you have GOT to put some distance between him and you as soon as you can NOW. Canada seems to be behind the eight ball in punishing criminals. Don't let this man hurt you physically any longer.

I want to thank all of you for your comments and support! I appreciate all of you that took time to give me advice and feedback! The problem with moving is that I am on disability right now, so I have a very limited income. I'm also on a waiting list for surgery, (something that was aggravated by the assault) which makes it hard to pick up and leave. I also own my house, so I would have to sell first. I really don't have many people to help me make a move either. I know what I should do... but making it happen is a whole different story,. if you know what I mean. I thank God for good neighbors that watch out for me, and my (watch) dog who alerts me when she senses something is up! That's about all I can do for now. Moving would be the "ideal" thing to do, but it's near to impossible anytime soon.

Thanks again to ALL :)

You may always call crime stopper in metro toronto. Also if you're too scared. then get a gun license and pepper spray if you are that insecure. However I must say that Laws in Canada aren't strict so brace yourself for the unfairness. You do know that even if you kill a person, you only get 10 years in jail right??



Very bad advice - never have a gun unless you are willing and prepared to use it. He breaks in (and so far it sounds like you've had difficulty defending yourself) without a gun, you have a gun, he wrestles the gun from you, now he's broken in and he has a gun - your gun!

And if she kills him she "only" gets 10 years in jail? Not very helpful advice all the way around.

I think what Littlebear was trying to get across was the unfairness of the punishments under the law in Canada. I don't think he was suggesting that I would only get 10 yrs if I killed him. But, having a gun to begin with to try and defend myself could only turn a bad situation worse. I keep a bat by my doors at all times, and keep the phone near me so I can call 911, and then the neighbor on speed dial if need be. I did exactly that when I heard a loud crash outside my home a few weeks ago. It just so happened that my neighbors weren't home, and by the time the police arrived, whoever had been around was gone. So I have now asked the neighbors to let me know when they won't be home at night so I can call an alternative neighbor if I need to. Pepperspray is illegal to have here, but I have a spray bottle that I've filled with tobassco sauce, and beware of dog signs. No one has to know my dogs bark is a helluva lot bigger than her bite, right? ;) One more thing that I have done in the past because I don't have a security system (and can't afford one) is set off my smoke detector. I have printed off signs on my computer that says I have home security, and also have crime stopper stickers for a deterent. I don't know if this is enough to stop a mad man, but I'm doing the best I can with what I have. I sure open to any other tips though!

I think what Littlebear was trying to get across was the unfairness of the punishments under the law in Canada. I don't think he was suggesting that I would only get 10 yrs if I killed him. But, having a gun to begin with to try and defend myself could only turn a bad situation worse. I keep a bat by my doors at all times, and keep the phone near me so I can call 911, and then the neighbor on speed dial if need be. I did exactly that when I heard a loud crash outside my home a few wks ago. It just so happened that my neighbors weren't home, and by the time the police arrived, whoever had been around was gone. So I have now asked the neighbors to let me know when they won't be home at night so I can call an alternative neighbor if I need to. Pepperspray is illegal to have here, but I have a spray bottle that I've filled with tobassco sauce, and beware of dog signs. No one has to know my dogs bark is a helluva lot bigger than her bite, right? ;) One more thing that I have done in the past because I don't have a security system (and can't afford one) is set off my smoke detector. I have printed off signs on my computer that says I have home security, and also have crime stopper stickers for a deterent. I don't know if this is enough to stop a mad man, but I'm doing the best I can with what I have. I sure open to any other tips though!


Sounds like you really are scared, not that I doubted you. I wish I did have some suggestions for you. I know a friend of mine - in the US - had a similar problem with an ex-husband who was really abusive and frightening and broke in, I believe, twice. She got one of those medical alert necklaces that you press when you need medical assistance and it calls the Police - her Doctor "agreed" that she needed it, the cost was pretty small per month but then she didn't have to worry if he cut her phone lines. Hope I'm not scaring you with the phone line thing.

I do like the smoke detector idea - never heard that before and it's a good one.

At one time I had 3 large, friendly (or so I thought) dogs, bark worse than bite. And then one day a salesman pulled the storm door out of my hands, opening it while talking to me, and found himself bitten by 2 different dogs. I guess they didn't want him in the house! So you pretty much never know.

And, no, I didn't get sued because there is a no door to door ordinance in my neighborhood, he had no permit, he pulled the door open, I didn't open it because my dogs don't run loose (my backyard is fenced) and I didn't want them outside.

Keep us informed, okay?

Excon I just had to say for once I agree with you.

The cops are not there for you and yes that movie rocks. You really do need to do this yourself. Start by a civil kick...
In Canada but when you go to civil court for something like this you will be represented by someone they appoint. Like flossie said victims services is a great way to make a impact. You can ask any legal aid office there number.

Thanks for the suggestion of the Medic Alert Necklace. I never thought of that. That would be a good idea even if I wasn't scared of my ex coming here, with my klutzy A$$. I went to the salon yesterday to get my hair done, and I had a towel over my head when I was asked to go over to the sink. I got up and caught my boot on the foot rest on the salon chair, and fell headfirst onto my knees on the ceramic tile. :S By the time I got home my knee had swollen to the size of a football. I went to the ER and I have a cracked kneecap, so now I can't even move around to quickly if I need too. Pretty clumsy eh?! lol

I thought I was just going to give up on the civil part of it, just because I'm so tired of thinking about the whole mess, but I think you guys may have convinced me to go forward with it. He does need to have some repercussions, even if a judge in criminal court won't give him any! I think I will get in touch with Victims Asst again and ask them just how to proceed with that.

Thanks again guys!

Good Girl!! Hope you stay strong and give him what he should have coming to him.
Hope you feel better.

"And if she kills him she "only" gets 10 years in jail? Not very helpful advice all the way around."
In regards to that quote, If you don't believe me, in 2003 I believe, 2 students in Great Lakes College of Canada killed the owner and they received 5 years. Even the jail guard said that they were nice people and they cook excellent food in the kitchen. This is on the news.

But Move away is only a good option if You could Never see him again, if you want to do that, change everything, your cellphone number, address, possibly name so that he can't search for you. But that only proves that criminals get away with their crimes.

"And if she kills him she "only" gets 10 years in jail? Not very helpful advice all the way around."
In regards to that quote, If you don't believe me, in 2003 I believe, 2 students in Great Lakes College of Canada killed the owner and they received 5 years. Even the jail guard said that they were nice people and they cook excellent food in the kitchen. This is on the news.

But Move away is only a good option if You could Never see him again, if you want to do that, change everything, your cellphone number, address, possibly name so that he can't search for you. But that only proves that criminals get away with their crimes.

I am going to fight for my rights. I just wish I had more help from the people on the legal side of this. I do know what you mean. About 2 yrs ago where I live, a 14 yr old girl and her 22 yr old boyfriend, killed the girls parents and her little brother. They tortured them first, and also cut their bodies into pieces. (sorry for being so graphic) The guy hasn't gone to trial yet, but the girl only got 10 yrs. But, off that she gets 2 yrs off her sentence for time served, and she will likely only serve a third of the remaining 8 yrs. So when you do the math, she will only be in jail for another 2 and a half yrs or so. Isn't that nice eh? There are people that are being sympathic towards her because she was young and they say the boyfriend influenced her. What a crock! 3 people are dead, including a 6 yr old child!
The prosecutor who is handling my case, is the same one that is handling their cases... so that just tells you what my ex is going to get for merely breaking my ribs and cheekbone!
Something has to happen with our justice system. It's out of control, and regular law abiding citizens have no rights... only the criminals rights are protected.

I am going to fight for my rights. I just wish I had more help from the people on the legal side of this. I do know what you mean. About 2 yrs ago where I live, a 14 yr old girl and her 22 yr old boyfriend, killed the girls parents and her little brother. They tortured them first, and also cut their bodies into pieces. (sorry for being so graphic) The guy hasn't gone to trial yet, but the girl only got 10 yrs. But, off of that she gets 2 yrs off her sentence for time served, and she will likely only serve a third of the remaining 8 yrs. So when you do the math, she will only be in jail for another 2 and a half yrs or so. Isn't that nice eh? There are people that are being sympathic towards her because she was young and they say the boyfriend influenced her. What a crock!! 3 people are dead, including a 6 yr old child!
The prosecutor who is handling my case, is the same one that is handling their cases...so that just tells you what my ex is gonna get for merely breaking my ribs and cheekbone!
Something has to happen with our justice system. It's out of control, and regular law abiding citizens have no rights...only the criminals rights are protected.



Sure - what other help are you looking for? I know the legal system is not equitable; you can get more time for possession than murdering someone; all of that; but what is it that you are looking for here?

I also think you are comparing apples to oranges here, completely different cases - but, yes, I know what you mean -

Did you get one of those medic alert necklaces? Has he been leaving you alone?

Does the prosecutor give you any inkling what the outcome may be (sometimes they just plain don't know)?

Sure - what other help are you looking for? I know the legal system is not equitable; you can get more time for possession than murdering someone; all of that; but what is it that you are looking for here?

I also think you are comparing apples to oranges here, completely different cases - but, yes, I know what you mean -

Did you get one of those medic alert necklaces? Has he been leaving you alone?

Does the prosecutor give you any inkling what the outcome may be (sometimes they just plain don't know)?

What I originally came on here for, was to see if anyone had another way of doing things that really haven't seemed to work so far for me, as far as the legal system and the people involved (police and prosecutor) go. I keep on thinking there must be more I can do to get a better outcome. I have never had any dealings with the police or the court system before this. I can not get any of these people to return my calls. My last conversation with the prosecutor was last summer. It really doesn't seem like she wants to put up a fight for me, and I thought that was what they were there for!! She told me to expect a slap on the wrist for him, and possibly a small fine. She instructed me to call the police whenever my ex breaks a condition of his order, but they don't do anything about it when I do. So, I just thought if I put this out there, there might be someone that was in a similar situation and knew a better way to get results.

I, in no way, wanted to suggest that I was comparing my situation to that of the murdered family! That of course was an entirely different situation, and a horrible one. I was just responding to littlebear as to the length of sentences handed down, and all I meant was that if that girl got so little for killing her family... what could I possibly expect!! I guess bottom line is, that I never expected to encounter such unfairness and lack of concern from the one's we trust to serve and protect.

I have checked into the medic alert necklace, and I do appreciate all of the advice I got on things I can do to ensure my own safety. He hasn't been bothering me lately, and with any luck it will stay that way, but I still have to keep my eyes and ears open because I know him.

I never intended to come on here and expect someone to solve my problems. Just had a hope that someone might know something that would make me say... wow! why didn't I think of doing that. I think this site is helpful, just for that reason!

Well, my court date is now coming up next week. The middle of the night phone calls and the vandalism to my vehicle had stopped for quite some time. Coincidentally, both have started up again just recently. The middle of the night calls from blocked #'s and phone booths. (that the cops won't trace) Then the battery cables in my van were clean cut lastweek. (suggesting it was planned again) When I called the cops, all they did was fill out my statement. No fingerprint taking (not a big crime to them I guess) no investigation... nothing! The cop even questioned ME because he said he smelled beer on my breath. (I had 2 beer with my neighbor while waiting 2 and a half hrs for the cop to show up) Maybe he thought I was drunk and vandalised my "own" vehicle? And I don't believe it is illegal for me to have a few beer with a neighbor. (He said it was because he didn't want to take a statement about the vandalism if I had been drinking)

I got a call from the Prosecutors office lastweek to come in for a court prep meeting. Now they have changed prosecutors on me for the 4th time! So of course I had to explain the whole scenario about my relationship with my ex and the whole assault again. (apparently none of the others keep good notes) The new guy is a total "by the book" jerk! He didn't want to hear anything I had to say... only wanted to tell me that my ex's "free" lawyer (whom he got to choose) is going to try and disprove everything I have to say. My lawyer didn't want to hear anything about my ex's character, our relationship, or anything about him, including the fact that HE was the one that was VERY drunk the night in question, and I have since learned he does drugs too. My ex is completely denying the assault, and says I am making this whole thing up. Since there are no witnesses, (of course not, he forced his way into my home at about 4am) my ex has written in his statement that I fell and broke my own ribs and cheekbone! I wonder how hard I would have to fall in my own home to break my ribs on one side and cheekbone on the other? Maybe I enjoy running into walls as a hobby?!

You would 'think' that story wouldn't fly with any judge, but the prosecutor seems to think that because the night that this happened (Dec 21/06) I had just returned home from a C'mas party where I had a "few" drinks, (Gee, what are the chances?)and that I maybe I just "did" fall on my own! If I would have known that it was going to come down to this, I could've gotten a copy of my bar tab, which I remember being around $18 at over $3 a drink, in about a 4 hr period. I was also home for at least an hr and had already had something to eat before my ex showed up.

Now I don't even have any trust in my own damn lawyer... and because of his total lack of interest in my case, that has taken 15 months to even get to trial, he has told me that the sentence, IF FOUND GUILTY, (which he doesn't seem too confident in)
Is anywhere from a small fine, to probabation, to 1 yr in jail (ha) The prosecutor seems to think it will be more on the side of the 'small fine'!

I'm not allowed to mention any of the things that have happened with my vehicle or the phone calls, to the judge because it can't be proven it was my ex, because of course the cops didn't have the time to investigate. I can't testify that my ex has been telling everyone who will listen that I'm just a "crazy b", and I was told that I shouldn't even bring up the emotional and mental anguish that I've had to endure since this happened.

I just had to vent you guys again... I'm at my wits end with all of this. I have never had anything more than a speeding ticket, and even that was probably more than 10 yrs ago. I have never been in a courtroom in my life. A few people have offered to come to court with me, but I just feel so damned embarrassed that I was stupid enough to be with that 'man?' for so long. I've always been somewhat of a private person and I hate all the dirty laundry to be laid out in front of all to see!

I'd appreciate any advice again that any of you guys might have to help me get through this! I'm trying to keep my mind on other things, but I'm a wreck inside! I've been having anxiety/panic attacks to the point where I fainted the other day. I can't sleep and I haven't got much of an appetite either. Because of some of the meds that I'm on for high bp, and other medical probs and pain killers for my hip, my Dr. won't give me any anti depresant or anti anxiety medication. I'm afraid I'm going to be in the middle of questioning in court and I'm going to pass out!

No, civil and criminal are two completely separate, in fact if you wait too long you may not even be able to file.

In the civil it does help some if he has been convicted, but you can still sue even if he was found not guilty, the level of guilt is different in civil court over criminal.

My brothers wife has accused him of hitting her and he didn't hit her, but she had him arrested anyway. In Maryland they have charged him with felony2. HIs 7year old daughter told him that her new boyfriend smacked her around and that is why her face was swollen. But his lawyer told him that his daughter cannot tesify because she is a minor. How the heck are you supposed to prove your innocence. He has no criminal record what so ever. Do you think he will serve time in jail even if he has no previous record?

Thanks

Maria

No, civil and criminal are two completely seperate, in fact if you wait too long you may not even be able to file.

In the civil it does help some if he has been convicted, but you can still sue even if he was found not guilty, the level of guilt is different in civil court over criminal.

Thanks Chuck,

I do realise that they are two totally different things between the criminal and civil cases. I have checked into how long I have to file in civil court. I wanted to wait until after the criminal trial before going fourth with the civil so maybe I would have more evidence to bring from the criminal trial. I'm just not very confident that I'm going to come out on top now. I didn't want to go on and on anymore in my post, but it's shocking to me how little interest the crown prosecutor seems to have in my case. They just keep shoving me from one prosecutor to another, and the new guy seems to be a bit of a chauvenist, in my opinion. He even asked me if I was possibly lying about the assault just to get back at my ex! The cop saw everything when he came, but I don't know how well he made out his report since they don't seem to be of much help with any of the other things I've reported since, and after all it was 15 months ago. I think that is the strategy of the accused and the defence lawyer, in order to try and get me to the point where they can confuse me with their questions.

I do appreciate your help and thank you! Hopefully I'm totally wrong and the judge will throw the book at him. ;)

Just another note:

I thought my medical records would be my saving grace, but the prosecutor told me that he doesn't know who my judge will be, and it depends on the judge to decide just how severe he finds my injuries to be. I guess some don't see injuries like that as anything too serious :O I was also told that even if the judge 100% percent believes my testimony, and disbelieves my ex's, even one little shred of doubt that the defence can put in the judges mind will have my ex acquitted.

Ps. Maria, you have to create your own question under the topic you are asking about (law) You will get more answers that way ;)

My Dear Star - When you posted on my thread you said that you were going through something right now, so I decided to check your other posts, and here I am.

I don't know what advice to give you. I live in Canada too, but I've never had to deal with anything remotely like this. It's appalling that this guy can do what he wants and the police and prosecutors don't seem to care. What is this world coming to, or has is always been like this and I just wanted to believe differently?

Honey, my thoughts are with you. I also live in AB, so if you ever need a friend, or a couch to sleep on, then say the word. Bring your dog, he/she can play with mine. I don't make offers like this lightly, I can tell that you are a good person, a kind, caring, loving, person, and I am more than willing to open up my home to you whenever you need it. Just call first so I can clean. Okay?

Until then, take care, hold your head up, and do what you have to do. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but this will, and already has, made you a stronger person. And I also agree with Ex-Cons advice, don't kill, just injure, after all, you know you won't get charged for it,he isn't.

Dear Alt,

What a beautiful loving gesture to make. Not many people would trust a complete stranger like that. I'm so touched! :) Thank you!! I'll write you a p/m to tell you what city I live in. Wouldn't it be weird if it were the same one?!

Just an update for you and everyone else who gave me advice and well wishes along the way. We went to court this past Tues. I hadn't talked to or seen the prosecutor before I got there, although I left dozens of messages for him.

I didn't even get the opportunity to testify, because before I had even gotten there, the prosecutor had offered a plea deal to the defence councel. He told me in order for my ex to get a more severe chrg than he offered in the plea, as in jail time or probation, that the judge would have to find my injuries terribly severe. (WHAT?. maybe a coma or on a respirator? ) So my ex accepted the plea bargain. (of course) I didn't have any say whatsoever because it was offered before I even got there and I was there well ahead of time because I had a whole list of questions to ask the prosecutor.

So, my ex ended up walking away with a chrg reduced from assault w/dangerous weapon causing bodily injury, to common assault. He got a whopping $500 fine :0, the no-contact order (not even restraining order) for another yr. and a 1yr peace bond. Whoopieee! I, just like you Alt, have never had to deal with anything like this before (not in the courts anyway) and wouldn't have thought it would go this way with the police and the (in) justice system. Just a few weeks ago I had to call the cops because someone cut the battery wires in my vehicle, and the cops wouldn't even take prints. Go figure.

I guess my only sense of comfort as far as his 'sentence' goes, are the ripple effect things that he will have to face because he now has a criminal record. (well he had one before, but they obviously don't take DUI's that seriously either) His kids are all back in England now, as well as the rest of his family. He won't be able to get a passport to travel there or anywhere out of Canada and his 2 daughters both have weddings coming up soon. Although I feel bad for the girls, he should have thought about that before he assaulted me. I however WILL be traveling to England this summer to go on a cruise compliments of HIS sister. (a c'mas gift because she wants in some way to make up for her brothers stupidity, and also to celebrate our b'days :) ) I will also be there for one of the girls weddings.

There will be more repercussions too. One being the g/f he has now and having to wake up to THAT every morning, lol It's a scary sight, believe me, ;) I also have one more trick up my sleeve that will not be pleasant at all for him, and safer for me. It's not about revenge, (well maybe a little ;)) it's about getting the justice I couldn't get through the courts.

As far as my safety goes, I have taken every measure within my means to protect myself. My parents are snowbirds, and they come home in about a month. They live out of town at a very pretty lakeside community, so I can go there if I start to feel really unsafe again.

I thank you all for all of your help, and Alt, thanks again for your very heartfelt and kind offer. I just might take you up on that! :)

Hugs all!

Oh, just one more note. I got an email from my Dad the other day that said if someone is worried about their safety and don't have a home alarm, keep your car alarm remote near at all times, and test it out to make sure it works from inside your home. Take it to bed with you so you have it right there. If you hear someone trying to break in, or God forbid someone is already in, or any other trouble you may be in, press your panic button.

Just thought I would pass that on. Might just save someone!

To JudyKayTee,

Yes I did, and thank you for recommending that. :)