well I've looked through some posts and been very shocked to discover how myself and a poster called goldengirl1 have been through such a similar situation. It actually freaked me out a little, but its got its differences, hence the reason I've created my own post, I've read the comments and taken them in. maybe you view my situation similarly, maybe you don't help would be muchly appreciated!

the scary thing is we are of very similar ages, I am 19, my boyfriend (ex) is 22 next month. Basically we had been going out about 3 months. My boyfriend also had a very high sex drive, and was too into dirty/kinky sex and a lot of things goldengirl1 said relate to the fantasies of my boyfriend. It disturbed me he asked so soon into the relationship, but cos I knew my friends did things like that with random lads, I took it with a pinch of salt.

my boyfriend always wanted to be with me, we would spend allday together from about lunchtime to midnight, but sometimes just the evenings. We would have sex, then cuddle up and watch films, TV, again there was little conversation between us, unless it was about people we knew, or how work had been for him and uni for me.

he was VERY loving and affectionate, he always complimented me, as in like 50 times a day he would tell me I was goregous, beautiful, his angel, he loved me, meant the world to him, needed me, couldn't be without me, etc etc (the usual) but again as similar to the other post there was not much of "how are you? hows your day been?"

if we weren't together, he wanted to be in contact with me all the time, and out phone bills were ridiculous but again there were no phone conversations it was mainly texts. Texts such as: your beautiful, you mean the world to me, need you, love you, etc. but the thing is I have the opinion that its rude to text all the time, if he was with his friends he would text me, and id tell him not to, but I wouldn't do the same, but he would text that much I felt bad and felt I should, if I was staying in one night he would text and I would never speak to my family.

so far it may seem I'm being unreasonable, after all the above is very nice. But now ill introduce you to him in a slightly different light. He had a MEGA high sex drive, he was always horny, he masturbated several times a day and told me, he watched porn. Whenever he saw me he got a hard on and got horny. Hence the reason we were having sex together more or less everyday, despite the fact the parents were in as we both still live at home. I really enjoyed the love making passionate sex, and even a few different positions, but I couldn't handle it when he started to express his more kinky fantasies. But like goldengirl1 I'm quiet I'm shy I can't express my opinions and I didn't tell him I felt uncomfortable, I went along with it, as I was scared of being a let down or disappointing him, plus I always wanted to do my best for him, as in some ways he did for me as I'm such an insecure person he helped me a lot trying to boost my confidence. Then he started asking for dirty texts, I don't really like sending them, but knowing he got pleasure again I went along, but then he started to say they weren't quite what he wanted and he would watch porn, but perhaps is a common thing, but I don't like porn, and I'm sure he is influenced by porn to have the fantasies he does! After sex was good, and I think that's partly why I gave it him, lots of cuddling time, as I am very soft, and he did change after sex, he was a lot more relaxed and a lot more happier (he always said sex was a need more than a want, but he obviously wants it as well? )

going back to the texts, if he wasn't boosting my confidence, he either wanted dirty messages (usually 2 or 3 times a week) and if not we were talking about how good sex was. He did say sex was good, but to take it a step further he liked dirty sex and at times love making blurred into dirty sex, so I asked him if he saw me as an object, he said no, but he had previously made comments like, all lads want sex with no strings attached. And he would say things like oh ill stay for another hour, like after we had sex, so I didn't think he was just coming round for sex? Which got me thinking?

my fella, does not sound quite as moody as goldengirl1's as if I wanted to see my friends, I could tell he wasn't happy but he never said no, its like before sex he would be like "fine dont see me see you friends" but maybe he was joking then after sex he would be like I don't want you to change what you had before I still want you to have family time and friend time, but again because I can't speak my mind if I asked to see me I said yes of course.

the reason I decided to end my relationship was because we went out for the day to a city near where we live, and all day he kept making comments naughty thoughts he was having and how he was looking forward to getting home, I felt as if we couldn't really be out as all he wanted was to be back home having sex, we ended up going back early and I didn't want sex at all I was really emotional, but again I didn't speak me mind, we had sex and during sex I decided in my heart it was time to give up, as I was worried he was using me for sex. On the way home from the city we were very quiet and he got worried and then after sex that night I was even more quiet and I could see he was worried.

that night I thought long and hard, and I knew it was time to end it, I hadn't done anything that bad, but I couldn't go on, I told him and he immediately rang me and was in tears saying I can't do that and how we had said we couldn't be without each other etc, when I tried to explain why he hung up. He then text me a few things which were not to pleasant, but because he can have a slight temper I could forgive him on grounds he was distraught and angry?

he then went on to text saying he loved me so much, and how I was his everything, I sent a message explaining why I had broken it off and he said he would change, but change is a word I don't agree with, if you need to change your not meant to be. He said he would adapt, and that we had rushed thing we could start again takes thing slower, just be mates, build up trust etc, but I wasn't for taking any of it.

I slagged him off rotten to my family and friends, so now they hate him with a passion! This is where I freaked out, as totally the same to goldengirl he went out a week later on a Saturday night and pulled a girl, he said he was emotional and needed support. He told me he did it and said that all the time he pretended it was me. This hurt me so much but at the same time we were finished he was not in the wrong.

we have now been apart nearly a week and half and he is still texting me saying he won't give up, all he wants is me, he's not missing the sex at all, he just wants my love and support back. He keeps saying cos of the way I am and my insecurities I will never find a man that will respect them and love me for my good and bad the way he does. I have body flaws, he also loves them. Today when I was in uni I had 48 missed calls from him, he said he will never give up until I give him another chance.

basically I know in goldengirls situation he wasn't very pleasant to her and in some of my cases he could be more caring and thoughtful, but I want your opinions on my situation, do you think I'm being unfair, or is he only wanting me for sex? Would he really try that hard if he didn't, he sends around 50 texts a day asking for a chance, telling me what I mean to him. He says he is distraught and cannot function, I too feel the same way, but I don't want to give him another chance and have to go through it all again, I really need advice, it was my first relationship! Am I being totally unreasonable here?

the thing is I respect my parents too, and now they hate him I think my sister especially would never forgive me if I went back? Help please!

Can I just add that I think I know the answer, I think after the Saturday night incident I can't forgive, and I feel that I've lived and learnt and that perhaps he has taken advantage of me sexually, but then I can't help but feel if I didn't tell him how did he know. Now I know there's probably no going back I'm missing the good times we had like cuddling and kissing and watching movies and going out for meals, the cinema etc and I really want to be with him, my friends tell me the feelings will pass with a bit of time! They advise me to stay away, but I don't know at all, which is why I'm turning to you guys for help!

but I don't want to give him another chance and have to go through it all again, I really need advice, it was my first relationship! Am I being totally unreasonable here?

Why don't you give yourself a chance to answer your own questions by healing, and reevaluating your situation. It sounds as if you already have your answer, and only want it to be validated. Stick by your guns, and move on with your life. When the emotional dust has settled, then you can make a good decision. For now, heal and protect yourself.