lorax16
Jan 21, 2008, 11:19 AM
This is not a legal question, but a question of how to be tactful in my marriage. I love my wife very much. Unfortunately I share just about everything with her, and my father's Will is no exception. She comes from a family who discuss money and make provisions more openly than mine. My father, always frugal about money, set up a trust for me in his Will. I am 42 years old, a homeowner and a responsible husband and father. My dad is now in a nursing home and, although a little confused, was deemed mentally competent enough to okay a revised Will, and with an Elderlaw specialist, I had his Will re-written in parts to include my daughter as beneficiary and remove the Trusteeship for money I am to inherit.
My wife saw the will re-write and got upset that she was not named trustee for our daughter should I kick the bucket. She doesn't like the man my father named, and feels entitled to serve in this role. I told her that my dad made the decision a while ago, and I didn't think he would agree to change it. The truth is my father (and I find this painful and misinformed on his part) doesn't trust my wife with money, possibly thinks she will spend frivolously, and perhaps doesn't have faith my marriage will even last as his own marriage ended in ugly divorce. I try to placate my wife with, " perhaps" and " possibly" and "yes you should's" but I feel weird and awkward about this. My wife even insisted that she be the person named to inherit if I and my daughter pass away,even though she would be miserable and probably not wish to live, because the person/s named are distant relations who haven't contacted us in some time.
It seems ballsy of her to insinuate herself into this very private document, and I only want the whole thing over and done with already. How can I make it clear that I don't think these changes are founded in reality without sounding like an insensitive husband with some kind of grudge. My wife loves my father and has tried to help him and has been very kind to him.
Any thoughts or words of wisdom from anyone?
My wife saw the will re-write and got upset that she was not named trustee for our daughter should I kick the bucket. She doesn't like the man my father named, and feels entitled to serve in this role. I told her that my dad made the decision a while ago, and I didn't think he would agree to change it. The truth is my father (and I find this painful and misinformed on his part) doesn't trust my wife with money, possibly thinks she will spend frivolously, and perhaps doesn't have faith my marriage will even last as his own marriage ended in ugly divorce. I try to placate my wife with, " perhaps" and " possibly" and "yes you should's" but I feel weird and awkward about this. My wife even insisted that she be the person named to inherit if I and my daughter pass away,even though she would be miserable and probably not wish to live, because the person/s named are distant relations who haven't contacted us in some time.
It seems ballsy of her to insinuate herself into this very private document, and I only want the whole thing over and done with already. How can I make it clear that I don't think these changes are founded in reality without sounding like an insensitive husband with some kind of grudge. My wife loves my father and has tried to help him and has been very kind to him.
Any thoughts or words of wisdom from anyone?