My former boyfreind says he wants to take me to court. When we were dating he bought me a lot of expensive things and now he wants them back or the money he paid for. Can he do this if they were gifts? :confused:

He CAN take you to court, but I doubt if he will win. Unless he can prove these things were loaned to you or given with the expection of marriage and you understood that, then he ain't going to win.

NOPE! Judge Judy and many other judges tell the one who bought the stuff for their ex to chalk it up as a lesson learned. If he can prove anything in his favor the Judge might tell you to give an item or two back. He would have to do a whole lot of lying to get everything.
If he has receipts that might work to his favor some... Tell him to take you to court otherwise leave you alone.

Get him to take it to Judy Judy

Can he ask for them back, or can he take you to court of course he can ask and he can take you to court, nothing illegal in either of those.

Now most likely he will not win, if they were truly gifts then they are yours to keep.

He said that they were only gifts while we were dating and that he wants my laptop and the money I owe him for all the other things he bought me. I told him to take me to court if he wants anything from me. He could lie and say that they weren't gifts and I could loose that's what I'm afraid of..

General rule of thumb in a breakup:

If it was given for an occasion (Christmas, birthday, Valentine's day, etc) it's yours, and was a gift.

If it was given other times, well... it may still be a gift, but generally you give those gifts back.

Aside from the laptop---what kind of gifts are we talking about here?

He can lie, but can he prove it? A gift is given unequivocally. Did he say to you, I'm buying you this laptop but you can only keep it as long as we are together? Unless he did and can prove it, it doesn't hae a leg to stand on. All you have to show the judge was that you were his girlfriend when the gifts were given. He's got to prove they weren't gifts or were contingent gifts. Something very hard to prove.

He doesn't have a leg to stand on. I agree with Synnen that technically, ethically you are suppose to give back things meant only IN the relationship like if he put a down payment on something in aspects to a future for the two of you, or if it was something that belonged to him before the relationship, if it has sentimental value to his family, etc...
anything he bought in the relationship as a gift he has to prove.
An engagement ring is a bit disputable, some Judges say since you broke up with him why do you want it anyway.

He said that they were only gifts while we were dating and that he wants my laptop and the money i owe him for all the other things he bought me. I told him to take me to court if he wants anything from me. He could lie and say that they werent gifts and i could loose thats what im afraid of..


If you go to Small Claims on this issue I would be a little careful of the way you phrased this - "the money [you] owe him... " I think I know what you mean - he's saying you owe him - but it doesn't sound that way on first read.

Gifts like my laptop, he bought me a lot of clothes, expensive purses, blackberry etc.. Stuff like that nothing like a car though. I do have the receipts to a lot of the stuff also. And mostly all the stuff WAS bought for a special occasion like my birthday, xmas, anniversary.

You should have a fairly decent day in court if he takes it that far.

So, do you want to keep the stuff to remember him by? Give him the clothes... they'll look good on him... as will the purses!

Give him the laptop... after you have the memory destroyed... you wouldn't want your personal info left on it!

Then you won't have to worry that anyone will think you were just a gold digger.

Good, if you can show how the receipts correspond to special occasions, that helps you.

Gifts like my laptop, he bought me alot of clothes, expensive purses, blackberry ect.. stuff like that nothing like a car though. I do have the receipts to alot of the stuff also. And mostly all the stuff WAS bought for a special occasion like my bday, xmas, anniversary.



Hmm - this could be problematical in Small Claims Court - these were gifts but you have the receipts? Could be seen as contradictory.

I see what you mean, he told me to keep them just in case we needed to return it or something.

Well if you have the reciepts it looks to me like he can't even prove that He bought them. Just sit back and let him take you to court if he's that stupid. I wouldn't even worry about it. It seems like everything is in your favor. Hey quick question while you were together did you buy him any gifts? If so did he give them back to you since you have split up?

Well if you have the reciepts it looks to me like he can't even prove that He bought them. Just sit back and let him take you to court if he's that stupid. I wouldn't even worry about it. It seems like everything is in your favor. hey quick question while ya'll were together did you buy him any gifts? If so did he give them back to you since ya'll have split up?



Are you suggesting that she lie about who bought the various gifts, that she say she bought them and not him because he doesn't have receipts - ?

(Whether or not she bought anything for him, whether he gave the gifts back, is immaterial.) Interesting but not pertinent.

I think that you are reading too hard into what I typed and said. I never said anything about her "lieing" about it. Just simply that she has the reciepts and not him it will be a lot harder for him to prove that he bought them.

Whether it is immaterial or not I was simply asking a question as to her purchasing things for him during the relationship. I was asking out of curiousity.

I think that you are reading too hard into what I typed and said. i never said anything about her "lieing" about it. Just simply that she has the reciepts and not him it will be alot harder for him to prove that he bought them.

Whether it is immaterial or not I was simply asking a question as to her purchasing things for him during the relationship. I was asking out of curiousity.



And my point was he says he bought the gifts but doesn't have receipts; she says he bought the gifts and she has the receipts - and the receipts are a non issue. Why is this harder than having the receipts in hand?

Or else she lies and says he didn't buy the gifts, she did, she has the receipts. Sorry if I misunderstood you - I thought that was where you were going.

That's okay. I didn't explain myself. Earlier she said he might be taking her to court. Usually in that situation the judge wants to see proof that he bought them. If she has the reciepts and he doesn't and if she didn't want to volunteer that information it would just make it harder for him to prove he bought them and it would probably get thrown out. Regardless, with them being gifts it will probably get thrown out like someone had stated earlier. But no I am not for lying or saying that she lie.

Either any old way---everything is mostly to her favor even if she has to hand him back a piece of jewelry and a few bucks.

*edit---as someone said the receipts for birthday and holiday gifts should prove by the date that they were meant as a gift unless they were bought way ahead of time. And I think mraquino21's point basically was if you bought him gifts too then it was a mutual you gave/he gave and the Judge won't want to sort it all out----another bonus in your favor.

You have nothing to worry.

That's okay. I didn't explain myself. Earlier she said he might be taking her to court. Usually in that situation the judge wants to see proof that he bought them. If she has the reciepts and he doesn't and if she didn't want to volunteer that information it would just make it harder for him to prove he bought them and it would probably get thrown out. Regardless, with them being gifts it will probably get thrown out like someone had stated earlier. But no I am not for lieing or saying that she lie.



Whoops - cut myself off! I was going to say that when it comes to civil court there is no "grey" area. It's either black or it's white. As I said, the receipts have little to do with anything. Maybe he just didn't save the receipts.

But knowing you have the receipts, having the receipts become an issue and not "volunteering" the info - I think you are at best misrepresenting the situation to the Court.

WOW okay, no I would never lie in court. I did buy him some things but nothing very expensive because I don't come from a wealthy family like he does. I never asked for anything back. I don't want to keep my stuff because I am a GOLD DIGGER but because they were bought for me. Also I have a lot of stuff on my PC that I don't want to loose. I don't understand why I would have to give anything back if they were gifts. If you know what I mean. Everything seems blown out of proportion.

My former boyfreind says he wants to take me to court. When we were dating he bought me alot of expensive things and now he wants them back or the money he paid for. Can he do this if they were gifts? :confused:
He can't make you pay him for the things HE gave you. They were gifts. Yes, he can take them back if he has receipts and such but he can't make you pay. That's absurd!

WOW okay, no i would never lie in court. I did buy him some things but nothing very expensive because i dont come from a wealthy family like he does. I never asked for anything back. I dont want to keep my stuff because i am a GOLD DIGGER but because they were bought for me. Also I have alot of stuff on my pc that I dont want to loose. I dont understand why i would have to give anything back if they were gifts. If you know what i mean. Everything seems blown out of proportion.


I agree with you about this getting blown out of porportion. I never said anything about lying. In fact I said I don't agree with lying. Shoot I even got a red mark for asking you a question even if the question doesn't really matter or not. I am sorry I even asked now.

WOW okay, no i would never lie in court. I did buy him some things but nothing very expensive because i dont come from a wealthy family like he does. I never asked for anything back. I dont want to keep my stuff because i am a GOLD DIGGER but because they were bought for me. Also I have alot of stuff on my pc that I dont want to loose. I dont understand why i would have to give anything back if they were gifts. If you know what i mean. Everything seems blown out of proportion.


Then IF he decides to sue you - and if everybody who threatened to sue actually did the Courts would be backed up far more than they are - go to Court and explain these were all gifts. Let HIM explain that he was "lending" things to you - sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Because it is a ridiculous argument on his part. You have explained why you have the receipts - let him explain his version of the "loan" of various items but you have the receipt - again, he'll sound petty and ridiculous.

No thought you're a gold digger - and whether you did or didn't buy HIM gifts and whether you did or did not demand their return has no bearing. You're not suing (in theory); he is.

Let's regroup here - I never said YOU would lie; I thought the suggestion was that you SHOULD lie (or be evasive) and that's not a good idea.

I don't think you have to give anything back. Of course, I think he's not really going to sue you.

In fact, I'd tell him to stop threatening me and leave me alone -

N0help4u agrees: No it was a good ? A mutual she gave/he gave --the Judge won't want to sort it all out --to her favor


What she did or did not give him has no bearing - she's not suing; he is - unless she countersues. I'd be amazed if a Judge even entertained the notion that these were somehow reciprocal gifts. (Of course, Judges amaze me all the time!)

I think you asked an excellent question. I hope it did not sound like I was calling you a gold digger... I was only trying to offer suggestions so that you wouldn't have to worry about him or his acquaintances viewing things in that way. I think he is extremely rude to ask/expect to get things back which indicates to me that he tries to buy people's love.

My opinion is that you have a right to keep it all if you want. Sounds like a lot of sour grapes on his part. He might not even bother trying to go to court... He probably just likes having some power over you by threatening to do it. Tell him to put his money where his mouth is... Maybe he'll learn not to try to buy people's affections in the future. Basically, that seems to be what the situation boils down to. If you don't mind the harassment, and all the talk and hassles, it's your decision.

Sounds like he's mad about the breakup and wants to "punish" you by trying to scare you with all the money and power he thinks he has (or his parents have). Like Oneguy says, maybe he'll try not to keep "buying" another person's affection. Probably has done this before, so don't feel so bad about this situation.

He most likely has.. Thanks for all your advice! I love this site=)