This girl liked me, but didn't break up with her boyfriend for me, so we didn't talk for a few months. Now she's broken up with him and has come 'crawling back' so to speak (she wasn't entirely honest about the boyfriend the first time, haha).

She was going out with him in Texas for about a year, and has been broken up with him for just over a week (she's moved to NY and probably won't see him again). I pretty much know she broke up with him so she could see me again.

However, she says she's 'not ready' for a relationship yet, and I totally understand - I want to give her time - but there are mixed messages. She's also said, 'really, I am ready to be with you now, but I'm worried that if I go out with you now I'll end up cheating on you in a few months. I don't want to do that - I just want to get it all out of my system now so we can be together later.'

Q1:
Basically, I'm wondering how long that is. I don't want to wait forever, but I do like her and would like to give her the chance if I can. Is a month a good time? Too short?

Q2:
We've kissed a lot and laid in our beds cuddling etc in underwear, but we've never slept together. One night, however, she wore really nice black underwear. I know this is stupid, but, is black underwear meant to mean something? (Haha I know that's a dumb Q)

Sigh,

S.

Give her the time she asked for. Sex is not the only thing you need to find out about each other. Mutual interests, future plans, hobbies, fun stuff together. Try bowling, minigolf, movies and music - heck even try dancing together. See if everything else fits first before you take that important next step to bond. Don't be in such a hurry and you might get what you've waited and wished for.

Good luck dear, have some stressless fun, and keep us posted.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) Also important, when she talks... really listen and don't jump to conclusions. Share some of your inner thoughts with her too.

What she is saying is that she is in a new town (you said she moved to NY) and wants to try the local culture before settling for you. I believe she wants to have fun and get everything out of her system before settling into another relationship. Unfortunately for you, you can't put a date on this. She's saying in a nice way that she wants to be friends for now and you are her security blanket to crawl back to if other opportunities don't work out. I would say you need to have a discussion with her and explain that you have been waiting for her all this time and you don't know how much longer you can wait and that maybe next time when she comes crawling back, you won't be there. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel. As far as the black panties... they come in many different colors, no special code. Unless they were a hot red see through thong! Good luck.

What she is saying is that she is in a new town (you said she moved to NY) and wants to try the local culture before settling for you. I believe she wants to have fun and get everything out of her system before settling into another relationship. Unfortunately for you, you can't put a date on this. She's saying in a nice way that she wants to be friends for now and you are her security blanket to crawl back to if other opportunities don't work out. I would say you need to have a discussion with her and explain that you have been waiting for her all this time and you don't know how much longer you can wait and that maybe next time when she comes crawling back, you won't be there. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel. As far as the black panties... they come in many different colors, no special code. Unless they were a hot red see thru thong! Good luck.

True about most everything - even the panties. But that does not mean that you cannot be gentle and massage her back without sexual motives. Plus, if you show her the town and do things with her to find out the fun she can have with you, she might not need to look further... ever thought that? So, put on your thinking cap and come up with something to keep her busy and happy - even if it is as a friend at first. I think it is time for men to use some healthy non-selfish imagination to catch a girl and keep her interested - the rest will come later in the 'romantic' stage. In your conversations, ask her what some of her most romantic fantasies are - not her sexual fantasies.. there is a difference.

Again, good luck.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)Be careful and sincere - because a girl can see through cheap motives - and to be honest, that is what most guys have these days.