I know this will be a tough one but... I asked my husband to leave 3 years ago. ( actually he was on drugs and alcohol and I intervened ) I've had a protection from abuse order eversince which expired today. I honestly don't expect any trouble from him. He is now on total disability, living with his elderly parents... doesn't see our daughter at all etc etc...
I filed for a divorce almost 3 years ago... he hasn't responded to anything... I live in our home, and pay all the bills included those in both of our names.
My lawyer told me today it would be better for me to just leave things as they are because he could get 1/2 the equity in the house and sue me for " spousal support", also in the state of Pennslyvania they are going to " re-instate " alimony in the future. If he were to die I could at least get his SS some day. I do not know how he is doing in terms of his addictions but I'm sure not well because his parents are enablers. If he is as bad as he was when I intervened he could very well die young from an overdose.
Please don't think I'm cruel but I honestly tried to help him for years before he left. It was so bad that I thought my daughter would get home from school and find him dead some day, or he would burn the house down.
I have no interest in re-marriage so would it be stupid to pursue this divorce?
Thanks,
Our daughter is in 8th grade.

It sounds cold and heartless. But staying married is what I would do. As long as you can afford the bills. It may be a good idea to talk with a lawyer about the risks and benefits.

I honestly from what you described would stay married, and under the radar. Opening up communication of any kind with him, could stir up some serious emotional and financial problems for you, and your daughter. Kind of like saying, "cross that bridge when you get to it."

I believe to be eligible to draw social security on your husband's earnings, you must have been married for ten years. How long have you been married?

If you have no intentions of re-marrying, stay married. Divorce will gain you absolutely nothing under these circumstances. Just make sure he doesn't open up new accounts and ruin your credit by him not paying. Like the others say, under the radar and roll with it. You can always get divorced, but once it's done it's done.

susabar wrote: "I live in our home...." If he is on the title (deed), the property is good for any debts he might make. There is good reason to complete the divorce and that is if the marital relationship is over, not to mention other issues, such as child custody, visitation, support, division of property, and debt payment.

I think it is wonderful that you had given all that you could. Addiction is a strong word and the person with the habit has to want to change for themselves. My objective opinion is to try and complete the divorce and keep on him about that since he wasn't very corporative before. Being married means being a team and if he isn't then I know there are others that would love to have you be their better half.

Your lawyer's recommendation was made in your best interest. Good Luck susabar

There are some great ideas here. However, if your husband is an addict, on total disability, he is quite likely to stay that way. If you were to pursue the most legal, aboveboard solution, both of the parties would need to participate. He will do little except make superfluous noise. The more you make demands (meet here, sign there, negotiate this) the more he will abuse alcohol and drugs to avoid feeling what's happening. If there is no benefit in divorce, consider that you are married to a half-person at best. Divorce and the whole legal deal sounds nice but only if he is not behaving like an addict.

My opinion, and that's all it is, is based on having been married to two addicts and being one myself (but not anymore.) Addicts stick to the behavior pattern that continues their addiction. When they are clean and sober, they feel very uncomfortable and the natural reaction to that discomfort is to use again. They ignore life. You are talking about life.