Ok first off guys and gals. Don't get angry with me

I'm not shallow, I'm trying to break the habit of that! Because I found out that 90% of the time people I'm normally with are insanely hot but insane!

OK so I'm a 26 year old. Attritive guy. I always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. It was my thing. Envy of my friends. But I found that this life is pretty empty

Anyway if had some fun times as of late.

And I'm with this new girl. She chased me a lot. So I thought why not ill give it a go. And I think I found someone I can really connect with on a personal level. And I must say I really really like it.

But she knows the type of girls I've been with and. She goes why are you with me when you could be with the.. Pretty.. types. I told her that its not that important.

Now she isn't ugly by no sens. But she isn't that typ of girl I would go for. Now before people start saying don't be with her then if you don't think she is pretty or your type, I'm trying to break a habbit, and I like being with this girl..
:) but here's the thing.
Is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? Like have her workout in the gym with me. And get you hair done etc?

She knows what I'm like. Vain and shallow but I am trying to change I don't think someone who is like that. Would be on a site like this. :)

Do you think this is wrong?

As I said girls and guys don't get to angry with me about this post. It shows I'm growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.


Regards

it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.

No you're not. You're not looking for a hot chick. You found a not-so-hot chick and you're trying to turn her into a hot chick.

There's nothing wrong with wanting for your girl to get some exercise/get her hair done (in my opinion)... but by the way you're talking about it, you're making it seem like you're too good looking for her.

If she wanted to look different, she would have done it already. She seems to be happy the way she is. You should be too.

Dating a girl isn't a way to "break a habit"...

I'd write a post under mine frantically apologizing to the women on this site that'll bury you alive. Sorry dude.

Hold on for a rollercoaster ride, with an explanation at the end.


im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that!

If you aren't shallow, then why should you have to break the habit. Apparently you ARE shallow and you know it.


90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!
And you are one of the 10% who is "normal?" Oh, yeah, Hot Normal. LMAO, gimme a break.


ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty


Yup, pretty empty to be sure. You know why? You can't fit a bunch of people in a shallow pit.


someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.


Wow, you spoke volumes here, you may just be digging yourself out of the shallow pit you were in.



is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?


Yes, it's wrong. On many levels. Do you want her to change you?

You can never change a person, only they can change themselves when and if they so choose.

Now, here is where I get serious.

You are a very vain and shallow person, you already know that, so this is nothing new to you. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty may be looks, they fade... breasts sag, bottoms go flat, gravity runs it's course.

However, intelligence grows. From reading your posts you place more importance on your looks and what kind of beauty that you date versus intelligent you are, because you are definitely not intelligent. Sorry to be so blunt, and I'm sure to get a reddie here, but I don't care.

Personally, if I were a hot beauty, the kind you are attracted to, I wouldn't date you because you can't spell, your grammar is terrible, and your punctuation is atrocious. And, yes, that is shallow too, but what is beautiful to one, is horrific to another. You have to take the good with the bad, the ying with the yang.

Beauty runs skin deep...

Personally, if I were a hot beauty, the kind you are attracted to, I wouldn't date you because you can't spell, your grammar is terrible, and your punctuation is atrocious. And, yes, that is shallow too, but what is beautiful to one, is horrific to another.

Oh, mama! You took the words right out of my mouth! Looks like he has a bit of work to do on himself before he starts trying to fix up anyone else.

Oh, mama! You took the words right out of my mouth! Looks like he has a bit of work to do on himself before he starts trying to fix up anyone else.

I have to spread the love WG, but, if I were not married, I would never date a man, gorgeous or not, who was not my intellectual equal.

J_9, I couldn't rate you either, so I supported your comment the only way I could.

If your not attracted to someone, then that can't be helped. But to demand or even just to ask them to change for you is wrong. Like previously stated, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you care about her, care about who she IS, not who you want her to be.

There really isn't much I could say that hasn't been said already. You are shallow, and admitted as much. Work on yourself, don't make others feel like they have to be a certain way for you.

Ouch :) well thank you guys for your reply I'm sorry if upset anyone I really didn't want to do that. I know I am shallow and I am just trying to make a change. I guess its wrong what I wanted. I'm still going to try and change though sorry to have upset you J.9

And J.9 if you were a hot babe... babe. You would date me because that's the typ of people they are turned on by. That's why I wanted to change my patterns.

As for my spelling and gramma, I'm still learning english :) Danks/english

I won't go over my good points on here but we have my bad points out in the open. Now can someone please tell me how to fix this :)

And not tell me what I already know. And not how they won't date me because I'm shallow or. Can't spell. Or this and that.. lala.

I do know I have to work on myself! Any tips for that

Hope to get a reply from someone that doesn't think I'm attacking them because there a bit fat or a bit skinny old or whatever





Thanks for the reply guys

Any more advice would be idea :)

Regards

You come off as really full of yourself. I'll tell you right now, your relationship isn't going to work if you sit there and think about how you want to make her better looking all the time and if she's going to always wonder whether she's good enough or not. Don't go out with her for your benefit, to change yourself, go out with her because you're attracted to to her. Whether its her humor, personality or looks. Everyone comes in a package.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be with a guy because he wanted to "give it a go."

It is nice that you care about her on a personal level, but I'm still turned off by you.

... and it's "attractive"

Thank you Rocker. Of course you are turned off I'm probable going to anger a lot of people out there.
. But thankful this is a place where you can post what you think and how you feel.

I don't come off this way in the real world don't worrie. Other wize yeah id never get anyone ;)

And a reply like yours is very good and is the best advice I got :)

I'm going to give you some slack.

maybe its cause I'm a guy.

why does any woman buy lingerie? Its to visually and mentally impress her man most of the time... though you could say a confident woman would look at herself, say "i rock", and if the guys doesn't agree, he knows where the door is. That said, is it as much fun when you can't show it to anyone?

wouldn't most of you be disappointed if your man shrugged it off when you slipped into that sexy dress, as if it couldve been sweats?

is it wrong for you to want her to look a little different? Yes and no.

my wife hates it when my hair is too long. She hates me with a beard. She likes me to be fit. These are all things that amp up her attraction. Its not wrong.

I like her runners legs. I like her italian hair when its wavy and shined. Love her toes painted. Is it wrong? no.

so... your impulse isn't wrong at all. You like what you like and you are trying to find an in between. The girl you can connect with mentally and physically. Good job. Ill be the first to say it.

as for the other side... you don't get to be with someone with the expectation that they will change. How would you feel if a mate told you that you could no longer go to your monthly poker party with the guys? It shouldn't work that way.

I do think its important for couples to try to do some things to please each other. My wife knows the kind of clothes that turn my head and she tried to fit it into the routine. She knows what physical attributes I favor and she tries to tease me with them.

key thing is all you can do is tell her what you like about her, and tell her what you might like. After that, its up to her.

if its not enough for you, well at least you are making your way out of the slime pit step by step. =)

Thank you Kp :) that's great.. yeah ill do that with her I always tell her what I love about her :)

Her personality is great she is cute and she treats me really well :)

Yeah I am making my way out bud or at least trying to :)


Dude So true about the

)))))((wouldnt most of you be disappointed if your man shrugged it off when you slipped into that sexy dress, as if it couldve been sweats((())))

It is important but its not the be all and end all :)

Many thanks

Regards

You're on the right track, and I think that the more you get to know someone the more they will become attractive to you, physically and mentally.

That was my point when I started :). J.9 just got way to hurt by it all. Can't reply to anything if your hurt or angry.

That's what I've found a girl that I'm very... attracted... to mentally. I've always had the physical side always, and its very nice to find the emotional one :)


Thank you rocker :)

thank you very much for your advice.

it was really amazing :)


i guess your one of the ugly people? you took it so personal. but why..

i am really good looking i do get tons of chicks. i can't help it its true.. i work as a model. you have probable seen me on those CK underwear boxes. the typ of guy you fantazie about while your with ya man or women whatever. the typ of stuff people want to better them selfs to be?

thats what all them make over shows are about. to be more like what i am. the social typ of hot. if you saw me you would drool its a fact.

i dont know why we can't say this stuff to people. hey ya ugly or hey ya hot. or hey ya smell.

Like you. if you work behind ya desk typing all day eating candy getting fat.. people can't say oh hey girly girl. your packing on the pounds there?


or if ya face is a bit strange. go wow. thats a strange head you got there.

i am just trying to change my self though :p.

even when im older i will still be hot :P

i always get agro from the ugly ones. but i just put it down to there own issues


bye di bye XxX


Thanks for the PM, however I don't respond in PMs.

I did not get all hurt or angry. Quite the contrary. People like you are so shallow so as not to see what is important in life. You're too busy looking in the mirror than taking time to smell the roses.

What is beautiful to you, may be ugly to me and visa versa.

Oh, and you definitely are NOT the type of guy I fantasize about. I like men who are intellectual and not so full of themselves.

Glad you think so much of yourself, but I can guarantee you I would NOT drool over you.

Wow... This guys is just too much, he came to this forum why? The beauty of the internet is that you can be anyone you want and say you're hot and are very attractive but in reality could be a World of Warcraft computer nerd. The fact that he doesn't know how to talk proper English speaks volumes. He talks kind of what is commonly known as "hood" "hey ya kinda fat" come on. I'm not here to bash anyone, but don't come to this forum expecting realistic advice when you're being cocky. You could be attractive on your appearance but have the beauty of an ugly beast on the inside. So you have dated all the "popular" girls in HS... Congrats, look at where they got you. If you want advice, my advice is go see a shrink and find out what you are so shallow and feel the need to try and change a woman who seems to be "perfect" for you but you want to change them none the less.

B.T.W - I am really Brad Pitt and I am not seeing Angelina anymore, so I'm single... HA HA

Changing someone to better suit your needs is growing up? Growing up is knowing you CAN'T change people.

Leave this girl alone, enough with your sick experiment of "can I learn to love her?"

You're shallow and she deserves somebody better.
You fell in love with HER: not who you WANT Her to be.
I wouldn't change for you.
I'd kick you to the curb.

Damn skippy.. No one can change someone, you have to want to change for yourself. And obviously she likes the way she is. So she has self love for herself, but you don't. Your insecure in what people will think of you because you have all these "hot" ladies around you all the time and then you "downgrade" to someone like her. Now you're probably going to come on her and brag about your modelling careeer and all that nonsense, and even if I say you're probably brain dead with no intelligence you will counter by saying "you have a Ph.D and a 4.0 in college" so I would love to get into a battle of wits with you, but sadly you are unarmed. If you don't want her or have to learn to love her, let her go, she will find a lot better.

And Pam, why haven't you returned my phone calls?

Lots of this going around lately, the inflated ego.

Listen Truefaith, I too am very self confident in matters relating to physical appearance. However, you need not write your question and pepper it with compliments about yourself, it really does show how vulnerable and perhaps not as confident as you say you are.

If a guy/girl is attractive and dates attractive women they let that suffice, they know they are hot and what they can attract but have no need to announce it to anyone, actions speak louder than words right?

As for your PM to J9, that really is too much. What made you write that dribble is beyond me and it exposes you for what most people here see, a FAKE. In your head you may be a supermodel (though I doubt you actually think that) but in reality you come across as being a fool, not for your writing but for how you conduct yourself. I can't imagine any girl hot or not being attracted to someone with your idea of themselves, but I also doubt you think your better than most, I really think this is a defence mechanism. IF you say it we'll believe it, but not many do.

You are right about one thing, you do need to change or rather just start being yourself before you "woo" all these ladies to your intoxicating smell and show them your CK briefs:)

This is to the poster - Truefaith,
Would you rather date somebody who are themselves, or would you rather date somebody who they are not? Think hard about that question; and also think back on the ways your Mama raised you, I'm sure she raised you better then this. What if your girlfriend wants to make you "more attractive" and wants you to get your haircut a certain way, and, wear certain clothes, and "work out" more, how would that make you feel? That's just giving her reasons to be insecure with her body, and, no girl should be insecure with herself.

Thanks a lot guys for the replys :)

No ones perfect here we all have our issues. These are mine and I'm getting them out :)
I have strong and bad points like most of us do.

I have read all your guys posts and sometimes your post come out as needy or self destructive. Or just plane sad :
Either way we all come here to talk and you guys have helpt me. Just don't jump up on your high horse when most of you are in someway
Dumped or Dumpers we are all here for a reason.

To help with our relationships.
As for the Battle of wits thing. I have no reason to fight I just want asnwers and there have been great ones on here

Very helpful. I will learn how to change.

P.S Romefalls19 you're an IT guy don't put me in the same spot as you. I don't spend my life behind a desk ;) and I don't play games I wish I had the time to though.

Nothing like sitting behind a desk all day with candy and coke huh :)

Regards

I think it's good that you are trying to change the way you think. If you are a model, I understand that image is part of your profession. However, there are lots of people who don't care quite as much, which I'm sure you know from the responses on here.

Here's the thing. You can't change who someone is. You have to decide if this is something you can live with and be happy with if it doesn't change. If this girl gets the feeling that you are trying to push her to 'fancy up', then don't be surprised if she walks away. Women want someone who thinks they are attractive for who they are, not how much make-up they wear or what hairstyle they have.

Take me for instance. I'm in good shape, I run every day, lift weights, etc. I do get asked out on dates a lot. I've never been a make-up person. I wear it once in a while, but it's not a must to leave the house for me. I prefer a natural look, since I think natural is beautiful for women. That is just me. I'm busy, so I have a simple hairstyle. In other words, I'm low maintenance. I work out for health, not because I want to look a certain way. That is just an extra bonus.

I wouldn't be happy with a guy that is really into how he looks. That is just me. I think it is un-sexy for a guy to be into appearance too much. As long as the guy is clean, shaves, dresses decently and has a great personality, I'm happy.

And by the way, you seem to think that any woman would want you. Newsflash- not everyone likes the same type of guy. I have a friend who loves big guys. That is what she finds sexy. My fiancée is going bald (and he's only in his 20s.) I couldn't care less. He is healthy and that is about all I care about physical-wise. I still think he's sexy.

So, my point is, if you don't think you can handle it, leave her. If you think you would like to change, but aren't quite there yet, leave her or see a counselor to work through the image issues. If you continue to push for workouts and make-overs, you may make the poor girl develop an eating disorder or ruin her self esteem forever.

What the heck was the comment about "You must be one of the ugly ones since you took offense" I'm sure glad you didn't PM me with that, cause you wouldn't have like the response. How the heck do you know if someone is pretty or ugly over the net anyway? And who are you to define those terms? Like someone has to be 'ugly' to be offended by the way you think you are god's gift to women? Most guys consider me to be 'hot'. I'm not bragging because I'm engaged and I don't care what they think. But most guys seems to think I'm 'hot' and am pretty and have a good body. And I for one, and VERY offended by your view. But, like I said, you seem to be trying to change that and I think that is great.

Maybe talking to a counselor will help you change that outlook. You said people here need to not "jump on your high horse". You are the one on the high horse about appearance, though. You want to change this girl to think like you. So I don't understand how you feel you can even say that and not be hypocritical. But, like I said, it's great you want to change because you need too.

Good luck and I hope that you and your girlfriend are happy together. Not trying to preach at you or anything, I'm just giving you my honest opinion.

I only have one thing to say about the girl that you are with... She's way too good for you, and I hope that she will wake up one day soon and realize that, and then kick you to the curb where you belong!

I'm not usually harsh with anyone on this site, but if there is one thing that makes me sick to my stomach it's people who are vain and shallow!. I'm trying really hard right now not to lose the dinner that I just finished eating.

That's a very true point Peggy :) thank you

Of course your upset by what I think. So am I.. But at least you can see some good there which is really nice thank you. Your able to see past it. As with my girlfriend I told her that I'm no good for and she shouldn't be with someone like me. But she says she loves me and that's all that matters.

I guess its nice to have that. As I said I've never had that before so its fun. I don't think she is ugly and I don't cheat on her. I have been offered by a few of the girls a work with but I say no I'm with her.


Firefly. That's a fun pic not sure its you. Red heads are fun
But your right she probable is to good for me. That's why I want to change :)

i want to change :)

Then start with your manners.

You have a major apology you need to make.

Next, start with your grammar and intelligence, expand on that. Women like men that they can have a conversation with, not a man who just looks pretty.

My maners?
J.9 you really did attack me there was no advice in your reply. It was full of hate and bitterness

As I said to start with I'm not here to offend anyone you got upset. The rest of the coments were great :)

I like pretty girls. And you like smart boys. What's the difference?

You need to not let things effect you so much girl ;)

Well babe thanks for the great input, with the amount of posts you have. You spend more time on here than in the real world


You can reply with whatever witty dumb or intelligent thing you can come up with to make yourself feel better. Or not. Whatever

As for the rest good points ill take them in

P.S the typ of chicks that go after me. I know what there into. And that's cool what I'm saying is I like the chick I'm with now. And I think its going to go great :)

Wow... I'm glad you realise how shallow you sound. Not meaning to repeat what's already been said... but damn... And where exactly did you learn English? Please tell me it's your second language.

Right, moving on from the personal insults, can I just say that your responses to people aren't likely to get you more positive or useful feedback from people. You can't go around assuming that people are unattractive because they don't have the same lifestyle as you:

"P.S Romefalls19 your an IT guy dont put me in the same spot as you. i dont spend my life behind a desk and i dont play games i wish i had the time to though.

Nothing like sitting behind a desk all day with candy and coke huh"

Dude... that's a surefire way to get -slapped. And just so you know, one of my best friends works in IT, but is also a highly trained martial artist in peak physical condition with a well-toned body, immaculate hair and a gorgeous face. He just happens to like working with computers. Maybe you should try it sometime. Find something intellectual to do with your life rather than being entirely focused on your image.

Seriously, I'm pretty happy with the way I look. I don't wear makeup because I don't see any need to conceal myself and I wear the clothes that I think suit me, rather than whatever's the latest buzz. And sure, I could work out a little more and change my clothes and hair to get more attention (which I'm not exactly lacking), but I choose not to. I expect people to like me for me. And they do. If they like the way I look (and plenty do), even better! But that's a secondary consideration.

If you actually like this girl, get over it! Right now! Seriously. You said your previous relationships were shallow and empty, so DON'T turn this into one of them too. She won't change herself for you, and if she does she's a complete idiot and you probably deserve each other.

Also, find some kind of intellectual pursuit so that you have a focus that's above physical appearances.
Have you ever tried reading a book? One WITHOUT pictures? I highly recommend it.

Kind regards,

Kal

In my opinion, people that throw the word shallow around are lazy. I'm of the opinion that 9 times out of 10, the people that say "you're shallow for liking hot people" are usually out of shape people who don't give a damn about their appearance. There's nothing appealing about people who don't have the discipline to not eat 35 bags of chips and pound 6 sodas before dinner.

If you don't have the discipline to take care of your body, how can you have the discipline to take care of me? My children? My finances? Now, I'm not saying I need somebody to do this for me, I'm pointing out the message sent by people who don't take care of themselves.

That said, I find people use the term shallow as a way of intellectualizing their laziness as your fault, so I'd disregard that. To address your question, the real problem lies in weather or not this girl WANTS to do this. If you're shoving diet/exercize/those hot blond highlites down her throat, then you're just breeding a different personality which is going to go out of control sooner or later because it's not her. If she's somebody that's led the "sheltered" life and never really had a reason to care for herself or never had the knowhow or whatever her reason, then you're good to go.

The key is delivery. Don't tell her she's not good enough for you, if you want her to modify her appearance, your best bet is to do it subtly. If you want her to lose weight, go to the gym yourself and perpetually invite her. If you want her to change her hair, wait around for her next haircut and take interest in it. Stuff like that would be nice ways of working towards the appearance you want.

Anybody who says you're less of a person for wanting an attractive partner never tried to have sex with oprah.

Amazing thank you :) I so agree with what you said!

My girlfirend knows what I'm like I told her this but she still wants to be with me. And that's great :) I never once told her she was ugly but yeah I like to improve a bit. And I totally agree we can grow together in that respect..



English is my 2nd language so I'm sorry about that I try.
But if it makes you feel better to get at me. Go ahead :)

Oh yeah if I smile too much I'm just a happy person. Its all cheerful days with me


Thank you kal yeah people love you for who you are that's true. But the first bite as they say is with the eye.. and that is very important.
And it one of your posts you go.. . I guess it didn't occur to me that this girl would be recommending a guy who's so... ergh...

Ergh huh you sound very forgiving? Personality wasn't good enough for you? Looks weren't good enough for you? See we all have things don't we.. I bet no book reading helpt you there..
You attract creepy guys huh. Doesn't that say something about you don't you think? Maybe if you made an effort and not go around thinking the world should love you. No matter what like it owes you

Want to attract normal people?

You'd probable find someone. But sadly you get angry at people like me. Because we are proable the typ of people that turn you down
So you go home and read you book alone in bed. Shame
I know for a fact what typ of person you are my dear. I meet tons of um. I laugh at your coments

Don't worrie you'll get there one day ;) just keep at it tiger

english is my 2nd language so im sorry about that i try.
But if it makes you feel better to get at me. go ahead :)

What's your first language?


Thank you kal yeah people love you for who you are thats true. but the first bite as they say is with the eye.. and that is very important.
and it one of your posts you go.. ...I guess it didn't occur to me that this girl would be recommending a guy who's so... ergh...
ergh huh you sound very forgiving? Personality wasnt good enough for you? looks werent good enough for you? see we all have things dont we.. i bet no book reading helpt ya there..

I'm glad you've been reading up on me. I think if you read some of my other posts you would be able to find some much more interesting gossip to spread. Yay for you.
On the other hand, I think my description of the guy as being"ergh" was fair enough considering he requested that I cut my breasts off. I mean, have to have some standards, right?
And I realise that the first "bite" is with the eye. I see people too and I realise that some look better than others. Of course when I first look at someone I'll only see their outer self, it's hard for personality to shine through in a single glimpse. But all in all, once I know people for a while, I either like them or I don't and I don't give a damn about their appearance.


want to attract normal people?

I do want to. And I succeed. It's just not as frightening when this happens so I see no need to make posts about it.


youd probable find someone. but sadly you get angry at people like me. because we are proable the typ of people that turn you down

I've never been turned down in my life. OR dumped for that matter. Maybe someone like you WOULD turn me down, who can tell? But I've never been interested in someone like you, so I wouldn't know. And maybe you are attractive, I might even look twice. But I doubt I'd bother looking again the minute you opened your mouth.


so you go home and read ya book alone in bed. shame
i know for a fact what typ of person you are my dear. i meet tons of um. i laugh at your coments

Actually, I don't get as much time to read as I like. There's always too much else going on. But when I find the time, I enjoy it. Seriously, it's worth the effort.
And you don't know at all what kind of person I am. You can generalise all you like. The fact remains that you started this post to get advice, but you're perfectly willing to discount any opinions that do not coincide with your own on the basis that you're assuming we're all unattractive. If you wanted to get advice that did no more than encourage you, go and talk to some of your vapid, conceited model friends and get them to tell you that only a hot chick is worth the effort.
Have you seen the film Zoolander? Just because you're really really good-looking doesn't mean that you too can't be killed in a freak gasoline-fight accident.
What exactly are you getting out of life?

So, back to the point. You said the girl was cute. Not stunning perhaps. So what's the problem? If her features aren't perfect, what's the point of getting her hair coloured? If you want to get a knock-out gorgeous girlfriend, try paying for some plastic surgery instead. In fact, I think you should go and recommend it to her. It'll strengthen your relationship no end.

Have a fantastic day! :)

Kal

I had another thought about your situation, TrueFaith. I noticed that you said that the girl was really pursuing you in the relationship and that you told her you were no good for her, but she said she loves you. The reason that was a little concerning to me is because I think she might start feeling desperate and depressed if she feels that she is the only one pursing the relationship.

The whole situation may be a potential disaster. If she feels that you don't care about the relationship as much as you, then she is probably going to get really upset eventually. When the initial exciting feeling of being "in love" with someone she likes starts to fade, then she may start to feel bad about herself and get low self-esteem. I'm not saying that she isn't in love with you, only that at first when someone is in love then are very happy and giddy about it, and after a while they "come down to Earth" so to speak, and begin to notice the things that they don't like about the person more. That could make a number of bad things happen to her. She could become very depressed, her confidence could disappear, and, like I said before, she could develop an eating disorder.

This happened to my friend's daughter. Her boyfriend was telling her she needed to lose weight. He was mean about it and would always tell her to imitate the way other girls did their hair and make-up. She started starving herself and taking diet pills to lose weight. She collapsed when she was at work, ended up in the hospital, and was lucky she didn't have a heart attack or something after what she put her body through. It all started with a simple diet to lose a few pounds. But she became obsessed with not feeling "good enough" for her boyfriend. It was a downward spiral.

You say that you are trying to change and that you care about this girl. If that is true, maybe the best thing you could do for her would be to take a break from the relationship for a little while. If you truly want to be with her, then tell her that you need to take some time to reflect and think. That way you can take a step back, think about it, and decide if you can be permanently happy with this relationship the way it is right now. If so, then you will have to love her for who she is. If not, then tell her that you care for her so much that you are breaking it off, so that you don't hurt her. She will be upset if you do right now, but someday when she looks back she may realize you two are very different and realize that maybe it wouldn't have worked. After all, she could become pregnant (since even birth contol isn't 100%). Then you guys would want to try to have a permenent relationship, then you'll probably break up eventually, and it could be really bad for the kid. Just a what-if to consider, I guess.

Not telling you to break up, just giving you my thoughts about it.

You said you wanted to get her to go to the gym. If she is overweight, exercise would be good, but it has to be for health, not appearance. If she feels that you are trying to push her into an activity because of appearance, then that's when the self-esteem will plummet, if it hasn't already. If you want her to exercise to be healthy, see if you can find a fun exercise to do together. Maybe you could both try martial arts, paintball, or something fun like that. Dancing is a great way to exercise and is fun.

Exercise is always good if done for the right reasons, but you aren't going to be able to get her to change her hair, make-up, and clothes most likely. In my opinion, you should not ask her to. Good luck, hope all works out.

I think its useless trying to get through to this guy. I'm not convinced he is actually here for advice but rather he is just bored and wants to waste everyone's time.

The story is b.s, his idea of himself is b.s, the girls that line up for him is b.s. Truefaith, I have no issue with your language ability or grammar or level of intelligence but most would have a problem with the way you come off. Your idea of yourself is laughable and the fact you need to tell everyone (strangers for that matter) is actually a bit sad. I think you are covering up some serious insecurity issues and perhaps typing this makes you feel better.

IF you want a girlfriend that is attractive than I could understand to a point, I mean who would'nt right? But your not posting about that, rather your posting about how good looking you are and that is a problem deep inside you I think. Perhaps you can show all the ladies on here a picture of yourself and let them decide for themselves how amazing you really are, but I doubt you will do that for fear they do not see what you do, heck they already don't just based on your personality.

So good luck with the "changing" and new attitude you have.

Please don't give me a smiley face or say thanks for the advice, I beg of you... please... stop... the... madness:)

There you go, put a picture on here. :)

Don't try to force her to be something she isn't. Otherwise she'll only end up resenting you and it'll never work out.

There you go, put a picture on here.


I'm with you. I'd like to see one myself! :)... Ok, sorry, I'm getting caught up in the smiley face madness. :)... ooops!

There ya go, put a picture on here. :)

Want to bet it'll be something he finds on the internet? Yeah, sure, right... He'll post a real pic of himself.

Oh, I just cant' bring myself to post a smilie, just can't do it.

Lol... the smilies are infecting us all on this thread. Ironic that he put a frown in his topic, got some negative responses, and has been smiles ever since?

To Kal

Never been turned down. Someone sounds a bit to into themselves is that pride I hear?
oo that's a bad thing. Just like. Liking yourself is as well.

-clap- smart girl



BMI.

I have issue I think you're the one with issue :)

I would worrie more about yourself wraping your time round you X and having your serious problems to deal it. Don't force yourself onto me :) I'm nothing like you I don't have serious problems.

only problem I have is that I think I can improve myself. And that's not a problem really.


at least I'm obsessed about myself and not about women. That really drives them away. As you fully well know. You shouldn't get angry. People that are obsessive have the worst typ of personal problems. They think the worst of themselves..
I feel sorry for you :D

Yeah I've had a few relationships where I've been the guy taking a girlfriend away from a boyfriend..

but normaly they have been like you :)

id say what your in a bit more b.s than what I'm in.

I hope you work out your problems boy..

and BMI I'm not posting about how good looking I am.. I'm saying that I am good looking its what I am.. just like your are Obsessive. It's a fact :) nothing more nothing less


move on man :) it hurts but you'll get there

I think your girlfriend should run as far away from you as possible, you are only going to make her miserable. You are unbelievably arrogant and self infatuated! Women also hate men that love themselves a hell of a lot more than they love their partners, they prefer you to love yourself just as much as you love them (for who they are, not what they look like) You should love her for her as much as you do yourself, maybe then there wouldn't be as much of a problem.

I don't think you can redeem yourself from the insults you have given to people on here and I think you should just go elsewhere to work out your problem, like to a counsellor, maybe they will be able to knock you down a peg or two and bring you back to the real world instead of being in your little "I love myself" bubble.

Run along!

TrueFaith - I have to tell you, that you have some very unattactive qualities, but good for you for trying to work on them.

I am incredibly unhappy with some of your responses, especially to people that you don't even know, but I do and care for very deeply.

With that said, I never want to make anyone feel bad about themselves and I don't mean to be unkind to you.

I have always believed that being ugly inside always comes on the outside and just the opposite, being beautiful inside will always come through on the outside.

I am sorry to say, that if you truly cared for this girl, from your heart, you would see all of her true and natural beauty.

You may truly care for her and if that is the case you have to let go of the part of you that sees only with shallow eyes.

When people are trying to help you, please understand that and don't come out on attack mode.

It is so wrong and cruel to read up on someone's pain and difficulties and then use it against them.

We all have work to do on ourselves and you are no exception.

I would almost bet that if I got to know your girlfriend and met her and if she has a good kind caring heart, I would see nothing but beauty.

Truefaith- You're a clown, honestly. I'm not sure what you wrote can constitute an insult or a logical thought for that matter.

I'm not going to get into a argument over you thinking your taking girls away from people (thats a joke). All I know is that you are a guy who types on this site how good looking he is and how every girl wants him but when confronted to show us all your great looks you fall silent on the subject?? I would think you would want to show us no? Lets settle the debate, you post your pic and I'll see if you can in fact take my girls away :) LOL!

I laugh cause just the thought of you is funny, plus you can't really write, read or spell, yeah I'd better hide those girls from you, they love that... as you know of course;)

I didn't say I was a model Clafairy. Not sure what you mean by that.

Wait I got it. Sorry.sorry. My mistake.

Who was I just saying can't read, write or speak?. lol!

I didn't say i was a model Clafairy. Not sure what you mean by that.

I was agreeing with you BMI, and the comments were aimed at truefaith.lol Sorry my fault.

Ooh can we start a HOT OR NOT on AMHD?! I'm thrilled!

ooh can we start a HOT OR NOT on AMHD?! I'm thrilled!


OMG! Please NO! I already have self esteem issues, and you guys are always so brutally honest, AAAHHHH!! :eek: , LOL

To Kal

Never been turned down. someone sounds a bit to into them selfs is that pride i hear?
oo thats a bad thing. just like. liking your self is as well.

-clap- smart girl

I'm not actually sure what point you're trying to make here... Are you implying that I'm vain too?
And liking yourself is a good thing. I'm totally in favour of people being happy with themselves. I have problems with people believing that they are better than everyone else. Particularly when they aren't.

So yeah, I'm glad you made the first step and came for advice. The second would be to try to listen to the advice people are giving rather than instantly jumping to abuse mode.

And seriously, what is your first language?

Kal

IN the first place, I would ask, there are so many days, you post your post here and what is the result of all advice now, any change in you or her?

Secondly, what about her look? Has she long hair or short, curly or straight, and what do you like and what is hers and did you ever open your heart about what you say or said here, before her?

There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to look good and take pride in their appearance in my opinion. Like a previous poster said if someone is too lazy to look after themselves then I don't want them looking after my children. With that said it isn't up to you to try and change that person nor should you simply expect it because that's what you want. You can express your feelings and if they don't like what you have to say then it is time to move on.

I think you may have come off to everyone here wrongly. I'm not sure if that is because of the language barrier or not but just try not to take everything everyone says as an attack, even if they do! ;)

You shouldn't want someone to be pretty. If you like her for her personality then she's Georgeous Inside. Everyone is pretty in there own way. If you like her then you shouldn't think about her looks. I have a boyfriend and he's not "hot" But I'm in love with him Hes Everything I eve dreamed of in a guy apart from his looks. Nobody is going to look at you and be like Eww his girlfriends so out of his league. People who judge someone because of who they go out with are stupid. You are quite Shallow who gives a if she's not what you normaly go for. Sake. Your you. Go out with whoever you want tew.

The level of political correctness here just has me stunned.

As a person in a long term relationship (10 yrs, 8 married) I do NOT disagree with the fact that flesh alone keeps things interesting for only a short time. Yes, most people need more than a good lay or a pretty face or a chiseled chest to make it last.

But really... id ask all who have spanked your hand repeatedly about physical attraction to do the following:

1) don't wear makeup. It is a practice that shows you are too shallow and vain to be comfortable in your own body. No hair dyes either.

2) throw out those sexy clothes, panties, and bras. You know sweatpants are more comfy, so why play into the game of teasing others when you aren't willing to let others be pleased by physical attraction?

3) blindfold yourself on dates. Apparently physical attraction is the work of the devil, so own up to it. Tell me that a guy who hasn't showered in two weeks will attract you because he has inner beauty. Try not to gag when you answer.

I am NOT saying that physical attraction is all there is... but come on... this guy signed on to a site for help. He obviously might have some issues about bragging how pretty he is, but really?? That makes him garbage?

Most people are attracted to potential mates by a variety of factors... but those who condemn a person for the physical side should own up and throw their push up bras and their face moisturizers in the trash.

If you pluck your eyebrows, wax your 'stache, shave your legs and arms, you are also tied into physical obsession... its just HIS level is icky and yours is OK.

OK.

Bring on the reddies.

Synnen agrees: Wow. I actually kind of feel bad for shaving, wearing makeup, and having a couple sexy outfits. Good thing I haven't combed my hair today and I'm wearing sweats now to make up for it!

You are naughty and it always makes me laugh!

Seriously, what color are the sweats? Zipper top? Don't be a tease. ;)

Well guys just to let you know I have spoken with her. I made it very clear about my feelings which is. I love being round her. I told her that she sint the typ of person I normaly go out with. And I know I'm not the typ of boy she normaly goes out with :)

Having said that we are both going to try and make it work. She knows my feelings. She said she will do whatever it takes to make me happy. And I really like that, I told her the same thing :)

As I said she understands I'm kind of vain and that. She knows its not the best but she loves me anyway :) how abou that.

As for The people here who gave me abuse. Thanks for reply :) wasn't the best but hey.
I like to think we can all post how we feel and think. And not get judge to harshly but hey I'm into looks apprantly and your into guys that. Well says all the flower typ stuff in movies :) yay to that!

Thank you KP very good points that's my view.

As to the rest.
I know looks are not the most important thing but its really nice to have both isn't it?:)


Regards

Synnen agrees: Wow. I actually kind of feel bad for shaving, wearing makeup, and having a couple sexy outfits. Good thing I haven't combed my hair today and I'm wearing sweats now to make up for it!

you are naughty and it always makes me laugh!

seriously, what color are the sweats? zipper top? dont be a tease. ;)

Sweats come in colors other than gray?

And nope on the zipper top---it's COLD in Minnesota! I think I have 4 layers on, and none of them is metal, which would be cold. Duh.

Well more layers are more to peel off one by one...

And cold weather makes you want to snuggle boys for heat when those layers are gone, so its all good near as I can tell.

I'm tired and off topic. Sort of. Done.

Be careful what you wish for. I encouraged my guy to change his outside even though I loved him for what was inside and that changed everything. He got hit on all the time and it went to his head. Turned out changing what was inside to a superficial jerk who got hooked on shallow come ons. I wish I would have been happy with the man I met because now no one is happy.

Great

I think there is a big difference between being vain and just feeling good about how you look. I wear makeup when I go out (I'm very pale and look horrible without it), I have what might be considered sexy clothes (I have terrible self esteem issues and wearing things that look attractive makes me feel better about myself). I'm not young (37), and I'm not a size 2 (more like a 12). I'm my own worst enemy. I think it's great to be able to take pride in yourself, but when you think you are the be all end all and that no plain jane could possibly measure up to you then I have a problem with that.

My ex husband is a pretty good looking guy. He was always being hit on. The day that he married me I weighed 310 pounds. I didn't feel I was good enough for him but he loved me as I was. When I lost the weight I was doing it for myself, not for him, and he was supportive of me no matter what.

Then why is he your ex-hubby?

Then why is he your ex-hubby?

After 15 years of marriage we just found ourselves going in different directions. Too many things started to happen at one time that drove a wedge between us. He's still a big part of my life though and one of my best friends.

Yes it is nice to have both Truefaith, though I'm still uncertain you have either:)

Good luck with it all.

the level of political correctness here just has me stunned.

... 1) don't wear makeup. It is a practice that shows you are too shallow and vain to be comfortable in your own body. No hair dyes either.

2) throw out those sexy clothes, panties, and bras. You know sweatpants are more comfy, so why play into the game of teasing others when you aren't willing to let others be pleased by physical attraction?

3) blindfold yourself on dates. Apparently physical attraction is the work of the devil, so own up to it. Tell me that a guy who hasn't showered in two weeks will attract you because he has inner beauty. Try not to gag when you answer.
... if you pluck your eyebrows, wax your 'stache, shave your legs and arms, you are also tied into physical obsession... its just HIS level is icky and yours is OK.[QUOTE]

Hahahahaha.
Ok, fair points. Look, there's nothing wrong with putting an effort into your appearance... and there's DEFINITELY nothing wrong with personal hygiene. It's just that there comes a point where there are some things that CAN'T be changed about a person, and some levels of gloss that just become pointless. And no matter how much you change someone's hair and pint their skin, you can't actually change the way they look... just make some bits shinier. And if they're not into being shiny, you can't really expect them to be. That's not to say you have to find them attractive, but if you DO... what exactly is the problem?
And yeah... there are things about people that I definitely find unatractive, it's not as if anyone here is perfect. For example, people who spit when they speak are... well, I doubt I could get over it... or worse, I'd find it difficult to find a guy who's shorter than me attractive.
But if you've decided that you like them enough to want to make a go of it, you can't expect a sudden change.

[QUOTE=TrueFaith]
Having said that we are both going to try and make it work. She knows my feelings. She said she will do whatever it takes to make me happy. And I really like that, I told her the same thing :)
... as for The people here who gave me abuse. Thanks for reply :) wasn't the best but hey.
I like to think we can all post how we feel and think. And not get judge to harshly but hey I'm into looks apprantly and your into guys that. Well says all the flower typ stuff in movies :) yay to that!
... I know looks are not the most important thing but its really nice to have both isn't it?:)


Pleased to hear you're making a go of it and being honest with her. And seriously, I'm sorry for all the abuse you've been getting... you might want to work on tact a little though.
And yeah, it's good to look good, but if you like her, you have to like her for who she is, not who you can try to make her.

Yeah, I know most of this has been said before.

Good luck anyway mate.

Kal

I agree Kal,

I do need to work on my Tact, I'm sorry for getting defensive.

I don't think you should go out with her. I was in a similar situation to you (not that I thought I was too good looking, but I just didn't find him that fanciable) but I looked past it for over a year, and in the end you can't help but get bored and look for someone who you like in every way. I am quite into fashion etc, therefore tend not to go for guys with clothes! Not shallow, just my type! And if your type is hot, don't go trying to change, find someone hot AND who you get on with.if it feels wrong in any way.. then it is!!

Don't let people convince you to lower your standards. I say that without implying anybody here is doing that, but I've always found that people try to convince me that instead of wanting an attractive full package girl, I should settle for a whatever she comes in package girl.

Personally, I'd rather be single for going on a year and change now to find a girl that makes me happy with a body I want hardcore. Part of being happy is that hardcore sex feeling you get when you see a hot girl plus the knowledge that she's yours.

To get somebody that's good looking, you should invest as much time as you see fit towards being good looking yourself, it's not a one way street. Contrary to what family guy, the simpsons, king of queens, any national lampoon movie will tell you, chicks don't dig on fat lazy guys. So get off your lazy and hit the gym god dammit. I'm all about a prettier country, for both sexes.

Anybody that tries to tell you you're wrong for wanting a sexy partner is foolish. Sexy people want sexy people, and I'll gladly take the pepsi challenge against the boyfriend of anybody that tells me different. 9 months of muay thai and brasilian jiujitsu amount to some amazing abs. Good luck dude.

If she wants to do stuff like get her hair done support her. But don't pressure her. Maybe for her birthday or valentines or somethig you could send her to a full service day spa, one of the ones where they do hair, make-up, nails, massages. The works. If you treat her to it once, she might find she likes it and keep it up.
Going to the gym seems like a great idea. It could be a healthy bonding time for you guys. Just be careful how you approach it, if you approach it the wrong way she could think you want her to go because you think she's fat or something awful and that could be devastating on her self esteem.
And when she asks why you're not with "pretty types", your respoonse should be something alog the lines of "but i am, i'm with you."...

Thank you very much :). Yeah she has no self esteem which is a shame. So I'm trying to get her to look and feel better about her self.

I know none of us are perfect but I use to be 250 pounds when I was a kid now I'm 174 and fit. So I know what's it like to have no confidance

My girl has a great body but she just has no confidance. So I'm going to bring it out in her :)
Thank you very much for your replys

Regards

going on this site isn't going to change who you are, it's foolish to think so.
A girl doesn't want to be valued just for her looks, looks are obviously more importnant to you than anything else, I suggest you seek some counseling to help find out why you are like this

OK first let me say in TrueFaith's defence, come on guys we have all secretly wanted to change something about our partners. Whether its appearance, intelligence, humor, whatever. That is what this site is for, to say the things you couldn't ask a friend or someone. Lets not act like we haven't ever wanted to change a quality... however honey you have to realize you say you want to change yet your on here speaking as though you couldn't be happier with yourself. Whether you're a supermodel or a scientist, bragging isn't very becoming of you. The ideas about if you want her to excersize than you excersize too is a good idea but secretly plotting to do these things to turn her into your hot chick isn't good. Its shallow, exactly what your trying to change about yourself. And as for telling the woman on here not to be emotional with their responses... you should take in what their saying and appreciate it because nine out of ten your girlfriend would be writing the same things if she read some of the things you've been writing... How about you compromise, try the gym thing BUT don't ever tell her she's fat. There's probably a couple things she would change about you but she loves/likes you and would never hurt you by asking you to change these things. I'm not going to say your horrible for wanting her to change because I too have wanted my partner to change at time. Just learn to compromise. Oh and stop speaking of her as a experiment, you never should use someone in anyway, even if your just "trying something new."

Wow, I don't even know were to begin. Sorry buddy, you can apologize until you're blue in the face, the fact that you talk like you think you walk on water doesn't make me feel very forgiving. Get off your high horse, you are not as great as you think you are, besides, beauty fades. If you really want to change than stop looking down on anyone who doesn't fit your "ideal" standard. I've met allot of extremely attractive people whose personalities stink, the longer I knew them the less attractive they became because their rotten personality shone through. I've also met very unattractive people that were wonderful, intelligent, kind caring people, the longer I've know them the more attractive they are because their personality shone through too. If you only care about outer beauty then you'll end up with an empty shell. Good luck.

The Pretty girl bad persoanlity means ugly person thing

I've never heard that before

Thanks for that jewl ;) I'm all fixed

Anyway guys this is over and done with now. I spoke with her we are fine I'm happy she is happy :)

Im not going to get into a circular argument with you lot again LoL


Enough said

besides, beauty fades.


Just because I'm an argumentative prick

Most girls want my dad as much as they want me.
Anybody seen that supposedly 50 year old chick doing the bowflex or total gym or whatever commercials? Her faded beauty can rescue me from ugly chicks any day of the week.

You don't love someone cause there beautiful... there beautiful cause you love them

The Pretty girl bad persoanlity means ugly person thing

iv never heard that before

thanks for that jewl ;) im all fixed

Anyway guys this is over and done with now. i spoke with her we are fine im happy she is happy :)

Im not going to get into a circular argument with you lot again LoL


Enough said

To bad you didn't try to fix it before asking our opinion. You opened up a huge can of worms when you posted your message, it's a little late to back down now because you don't like what we have to say. I know that you find our honesty hard to swallow, you believe that you are such a great guy, you expected us all to agree, sorry, we all have opinions of our own. You were man enough to ask for our opinions, now be man enough to take them. And because you're so fond of them here's a smiley face for you.:)

Ok first off guys and gals. dont get angry with me

im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that! because i found out that 90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!

ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty

anyway if had some fun times as of late.

and im with this new girl. she chased me a lot. so i thought why not ill give it a go. and i think i found someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.

now she isnt ugly by no sens. but she isnt that typ of girl i would go for. now before people start saying dont be with her then if you dont think she is pretty or your type, im trying to break a habbit, and i like being with this girl..
:) but heres the thing.
is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?

she knows what im like. vain and shallow but i am trying to change i dont think someone who is like that. would be on a site like this. :)

do you think this is wrong?

as i said girls and guys dont get to angry with me about this post. it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.


Regards
There's nothing wrong with wanting that aslong as you can see the inner beauty. If you want her to go to the gym with you ask her if you want her to get her hair done treat her to it that way you both win she gets pampered and you get a pretty girlfriend

TrueFaith, your qustion caught my eye! I have not read all the answers, and not sure what decision you have come to, here I am putting my thoughts...

I felt you are a very nice and caring guy. You want your girlfriend to be pretty and so want her to work out with you, get her hair done etc. And I say she's lucky to have a guy like you. You are not at all shallow and what you are doing what exactly my darling hubby did for me.

4 years after marriage, my friends tell me that I look the prettiest in my whole life time. He made me workout in gym, got my hair straightened, even taught me how to walk in heels, etc etc... For him, his wife's beauty is the foremost priority in his life, and no, he does not expect a super model out of me, but he says that we should make the best of what God has given us.

Now 25 pounds lighter, my friends compliment me on my looks and I do feel happy about myself too.

Go get your girlfriend to the gym, it will be good for her. And there are 2 types of girls in this world:
1) Who know how to make themselves look pretty
2) Who don't

I guess your girlfriend falls into the second category, and you can teach her how to do 1) :)

Good luck!

TrueFaith, your qustion caught my eye! I have not read all the answers, and not sure what decision you have come to, here I am putting my thoughts...

I felt you are a very nice and caring guy. You want your gf to be pretty and so want her to work out with you, get her hair done etc. And I say she's lucky to have a guy like you. You are not at all shallow and what you are doing what exactly my darling hubby did for me.

4 years after marriage, my friends tell me that I look the prettiest in my whole life time. He made me workout in gym, got my hair straightened, even taught me how to walk in heels, etc etc... For him, his wife's beauty is the foremost priority in his life, and no, he does not expect a super model out of me, but he says that we should make the best of what God has given us.

Now 25 pounds lighter, my friends compliment me on my looks and I do feel happy about myself too.

Go get your gf to the gym, it will be good for her. And there are 2 types of girls in this world:
1) Who know how to make themselves look pretty
2) Who don't

I guess your gf falls into the second category, and you can teach her how to do 1) :)

Good luck!

... And there are husbands in this world who trophy their wives
... and there are women in this world who become submissive under their husbands

I guess you fall under... ummm let me see... BOTH categories

I wonder how big you and your husband's heads have gotten. Can they fit through the door? This, by far is the worst advice given in this topic. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get prettied-up for yourself, but to have a spouse make you do these things is just darn-right sickening, shallow, egotistical, vain... whatever! A woman or man needs to make themselves happy before any one else. What ever happened to inner beauty?

There are two types of women like you:

1.) the ugly-personality type

Or

2.) the ugly personality and egotistical type

Ask yourself why in the hell you gave this sort of advice?

And I, the attractive 26 year old guy quotes:

"yada yada yada...there are just too many INSANELY HOT people in this world... (me being one of them) I go for the prettiest and skinniest girls ONLY! In highschool, I was the jerk that no 'nice girl' with a 'great personality' wanted to go for. I look down on those types of girls. Now this really nice girl wants to be with me, and I don't because she cares less about her looks and more on making this world a better place."

SHEESH!

You are what most women find repulsive and unattractive

You told the poor soul that looks didn't matter to you and yet in your post you clearly stated that they did? Who are you lying to? Her or yourself? GET REAL!! I hope she really looks deep into your mind, snaps, then leaves you. I know this is harsh, but you are asking for it. I have read all of your come-back posts to other people, and wonder why they have to be so nasty? You asked for advice, and people on AMHP are going to answer the only way they know how: opinion

Just think of all the best ladies, you have missed by only going for the ones that are physically attractive. No knock on them, but the best initial attraction to me, is the way she carries herself, and acts around others. I love confident females, no matter their booty, or boob size. Nice teeth help a lot.

I can't even begin to date a girl that can't hold a conversation! First thing I notice is smile and eyes, I don't rule out girls based on size. I don't want to be that shallow of a guy ha ha. Give a girl a chance, you'd be amazed at how great she can be

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

Ok first off guys and gals. dont get angry with me

im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that! because i found out that 90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!

ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty

anyway if had some fun times as of late.

and im with this new girl. she chased me a lot. so i thought why not ill give it a go. and i think i found someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.

now she isnt ugly by no sens. but she isnt that typ of girl i would go for. now before people start saying dont be with her then if you dont think she is pretty or your type, im trying to break a habbit, and i like being with this girl..
:) but heres the thing.
is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?

she knows what im like. vain and shallow but i am trying to change i dont think someone who is like that. would be on a site like this. :)

do you think this is wrong?

as i said girls and guys dont get to angry with me about this post. it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.


Regards
I'm going to be honest with you I too have been in this situation and you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. If everything besides the physical is great then you need to step back out of the situation and ask yourself these questions.1.) Am I physically attracted to her? 2.) Am I only worried about what others think, but otherwise content? If you said no to 1 and yes to do then maybe you need a relationship overhaul. This girl may be better as a friend. It may seem shallow but what other than the physical connection differentiates friend from girlfriend? She may have this wonderful personality but if you aren't in love with her and have doubts because of the lack of attraction maybe it's time to cut her loose and stop leading her on. If you are attracted to her but are only afraid of what other people are thinking like why is he walking his dog without a leash... oh man I think that's actually just his girl... then get over it! All that truly matters is what you think when deciding your life.

You need to get a life man.. no offence. Your trying to get your girlfriend into a really really hot girlfriend... you say that you can really connect with her... isn't that more important? Even though she might not have the looks, you can still talk to her. Would you rather have a girlfriend who has little looks but you can connect with OR a hot girlfriend who you can't connect with? You enjoy spending time with her and I think that maybe you should start appreciating her more for who she is. By the sounds of it, when she asks you why your not with the 'pretty girls', you could be lowering her self esteem. no. it is certaintly not good that you want her to change because she's not up to your standards. Your relationship isn't going to go no where if you sit down and wish she was hotter, instead, spend more time with her and be grateful for who she is. I'm not angry at your question but you do need to see the wrong in what your thinking (aka- making her look hotter)

You really remind me of my ex-bf... Lol, Everything you are (meaning your full of yourself) is exacly the reasn I broke up with him too.

And yeah, your proly right, you can get all the attractive girls, but it's not because they love you. They love the way you look... Is that really all you want out of life, never to have smeone who actually loves the you, not the image of you?

And wanting to change your girlfriend to meet your standards of how you want her to look is disgusting and it shows you don't love her at all, if you did, it wouldn't matter hw she looked...

But too, this is all my opions. They can be different with everyone.

Ok first off guys and gals. dont get angry with me

im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that! because i found out that 90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!

ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty

anyway if had some fun times as of late.

and im with this new girl. she chased me a lot. so i thought why not ill give it a go. and i think i found someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.

now she isnt ugly by no sens. but she isnt that typ of girl i would go for. now before people start saying dont be with her then if you dont think she is pretty or your type, im trying to break a habbit, and i like being with this girl..
:) but heres the thing.
is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?

she knows what im like. vain and shallow but i am trying to change i dont think someone who is like that. would be on a site like this. :)

do you think this is wrong?

as i said girls and guys dont get to angry with me about this post. it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.


Regards
How about this. Since you have spent so much time being absorbed with women for superficial reasons don't you take a break from that and work on the much-needed edits in your spelling, syntax and grammar? Maybe that will distract you for a while and help you improve other areas since a truly beautiful person is well-rounded.

I think he's done posting guys, he said his girl is happy, and they are happy but...

I still want to see a PIC! I think it would be a great ending to the post. SHOW your hotness for all to see!. lol
I meet guys like you all the time & trust me they are not shy about posting what they look like.
So cmon; We're waiting...

Yes it is wrong to ask her to be more pretty. Why? Because you are doing it for entirely the wrong reasons. You are trying to 'tweak' this poor girl into your ideal by getting her to adjust herself to your liking. You are not telling her to make herself prettier so she can feel better about herself. You are doing it so you can feel better about her!

Perhaps you should invest some of your energy into making a sincere connection with someone, rather than your vanity. It sounds to me that vanity takes precedence in your life, above all else.

Oh and by the way, you really are terribly shallow.