Hello, I am 14 and I am a girl I live in spain and I am depressed because I am different to my mates I am taller and a tad larger and I feel ugly when I hear that I am the second most un*pretty* girl in the group and I personaly think there are worse people in my group tha me.

I like this guy he isn't a hot guy type he is actually a dork type. Lol. But he is 2 years older than me ( but he hangs out with the big group of 15 people I am in). I don't know if he likes me my mates told him I liked him and he seemed shy around me.now a few days ago my mate told him I didn't like him anymore (lie, I still like him) he said "ok, i dun care.." then my mate said well she is way to good for you" and he felt demoished and the next day I asked where he was then he came in looking sort of different and kept looking at me.

And I haven't talked to him since I see him at break and I catch him looking at me a few times but that's it.


Had anyone got any advise for the two things?

By the way I sort of cut.

The first and most important thing for you to realize is that you are a beautiful person. You have to "fall in love with yourself" before you can ever fall in love with someone else. I'd advise you to start a journal or a diary. Not just for your hopes and dreams, but for the special daily beautiful things that make you who you are. Your smile. Your eyes. Your wishes for the future. Your personality. The special combination of things that makes you perfect... there is NO ONE in this world like you. Write down these things. Remember them.

Honey, you don't need to cut. I know that its like an addiction, but please, find someone to help you with that.

Bottom line, love yourself. You are perfect, just the way you are. :)

Dear depressed...
Let me share some real life experience with you, that might help. When I was a little girl, maybe 7 or 8. I was teased at school because I was taller, even at that age, than the rest of the boys. I had short curly hair (and right there you know I was screwed but my mother liked it that way)

One day while waiting outside for my father to pick me up, he found me curled in a ball, with my head in my lap, sobbing. He asked me why I was so upset and I told him because I was not popular and that everything things I'm ugly. He said to me that when you are an ugly duckling at a young age you are the luckiest person of all because you will grow up to be beautiful. When you are a beautiful swan at a young age you have know where to go but to turn into an ugly duckling.

Though I will not pass on that advice to my own children, shall they ever need it one day in that manner, I think many will say it's true.

Trust me when I say that you will look back on these tough years and laugh. Wait until your first class reunion. You will start to see what I mean. By the second, you will know exactly what I mean. The swans seem to put on weight in areas that I didn't know was possible. The teasers, the jocks, the cool kids suddenly are not so cool after all. A lot of them will look 10 years older, have made huge mistakes in life, maybe jobless and love is no where to be found and in it's place sits a diaper bag!

Adolescence is confusing and full of emotions. You may feel ashamed
And you may feel uncomfortable too. Know that whatever you are feeling is just that – a feeling. Feelings are not right or wrong. They are not something
To feel frightened or ashamed about. Understanding feelings will help you understand yourself better. You will feel empowered against the pressures to turn the
Normal confusions of growing up into negative behaviors such as poor body image
Or eating habits and even cutting.

May I suggest a book? It's called, 'My Feet aren't Ugly' it is written by Debra Beck

Good luck to you...

It is a funny thing, what years and life does, I went back to a 20 year high school reunion, all of those "pretty cheer leaders" were fat, or very weathered, and a few of the geeks were now ready for a beauty contest.

First of course height has nothing to do with beauty, in fact a little taller is normally better, people talk about you normally because they are jealoous and want to make you feel bad to make thiersel feel better.

I agree that being tall is a great quality but I didn't always think that. Much like you I had to grow into my body rather than the other way around. When I graduated from High school I was 5'10 and lucky if it was a B cup I was wearing (I think I bought the B to make myself feel like I had something.

It wasn't until I went through bootcamp that I grew into the body that was slightly ahead of me. When I finished bootcamp, I was 5'11 and a solid C cup. However, they cut off all my hair.

Now in my 30's and after having children, I feel I am at my my comfortable. I am still 5'11though I'm sure I will start shrinking soon. I have long hair again and am in a D cup. I feel more fir than I have ever been, but that's a daily challenge. I will not disclose my weight (but what girl really would) however, I will say that I am a solid size 8. Some skirts and jeans even a six, and not tight.

But my point is that I went through all the strange stages that you are going through now and then some. It's okay and it will pass. Don't let others make you feel as if you don't look the right way. Maybe right now you don't like the way you look but find me a girl who has never had that feeling. We all have gone through that and what you are feeling is so very normal and you will grow out of it.

I know I did and though I have a few more wrinkles than I did then and love handles that come with age and childbirth, I wouldn't change it for anything. Don't punish yourself for the way you think you are suppose to look. Besides it really is all in the eyes of the beholder. One day, a very lucky man is going to look at you and love you just the way you look right now. Remember that, besides those guys in which that's all they care about probably are over compensating anyway!

Smile!